When Fiction Becomes Reality
by BITTENEV
Summary: Bella is a writer whose most successful book is one she wrote about Edward, her high school crush. Edward is now an A-list actor and has signed on to star in a movie based on Bella's creation. AU/AH Bella-of-the-Ball continuation.
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE:** **This story was originally started by Bella-of-the-Ball. After deciding not to continue she chose to turn it over (as well as two other fabulous stories) to me. The first 6 chapters are hers and I pick up with Chapter 7. Hope you enjoy them!**

Disclaimer: Not mine.

CHAPTER 1

**BPOV**

_**Two Years Ago:**_

I walked past my kitchen table as I hastily picked up a piece of crumbled cake from the graduation party my parents flew into town to throw for me yesterday. Over half of the cake had been devoured by the many guests who came for the free food, so that it now read: "Congratul…College Gra...Class of 20…"

I recalled last night's events as I vaguely remembered walking down the edge of the full stadium, in a sea of blue gowns, the anti-climactic moment over almost as soon as it had begun. I could barely see my parents in the distant crowd as I waved in the general direction of where I knew they were standing so they could take a quick snapshot. I was almost sure the picture would be blurry anyway, or at the very least, I most definitely wasn't looking at the camera.

The party was a blur as well. Alice, my best friend, insisted on driving back to her house to grab something before we went to meet her boyfriend, Jasper, for a celebratory lunch with all of our parents. Of course, she knew that the only way she could convince me to have a party was to go about it without me knowing.

My face turned red, predictably, as old friends and acquaintances jumped out at me when Alice led me through the front door. I put on the best face that I could manage as people hugged me and gave me pats from all different directions. I willed myself not to look as uncomfortable as I felt.

I self-consciously tucked my long brown hair behind my ears and smiled at the familiar faces. A few awkward seconds passed before Alice raised her small arms in the air. "Who wants some music?" She raced over to her stereo and plugged in her iPod.

The presence of music relaxed me a little as I tried my best to keep up with the conversations people were starting with me.

However, it didn't take me long to figure out that I was bound to have a miserable time, when the first question to pop out of everyone's mouth was, "So what are your plans now?" It was either that, or, "A degree in English, huh? What do you plan to do with that?"

In a perfect world, I would smile at them confidently and give my answer, _"Well, I'm getting my book published."_

_And their smiles would falter, as they would clarify my answer. "You wrote a book?" They would be astonished that I was so young and accomplished already._

_And I would smile again. "Mmmhmm. I just got the letter yesterday, and I'm meeting with a literary agent tomorrow."_

_And they would all close their mouths after wishing me good luck and congratulations as they walked away._

But in this world…

"A degree in English, huh? What do you plan to do with that?" Lauren had an amused smile to match her condescending nature. For the life of me, I could not figure out why Alice invited her, other than the fact that she was wasting perfectly good air.

I tried to hide my internal grimace as I wondered how to answer that question. "I don't know." That was the best I could do. I swallowed the lump of embarrassment down my throat as I excused myself. I couldn't escape the smug look on her face before I walked away, and my stomach turned to knots. I decided to lock myself in Alice's bathroom.

This was just embarrassing. I honestly didn't know what I was going to do, now that I had a degree and four years of college under my belt.

Could I bring myself to tell everyone that I had written a book I had poured my heart and soul into for the past two years, between working odd jobs at church nurseries and selling lawn care services door to door to pay off my college loans?

Could I bring myself to tell everyone that I have so far been rejected by six separate literary agencies, all of which have refused to put my book out, calling it a myriad of hurtful things…. "juvenile," "predictable," and "self-indulgent" among them?

No, I couldn't. So I stayed in the bathroom for two hours, until Alice forced me to open the door. She comforted me, like always, and assured me that I would show them all, once I start making millions with my books. I snorted. I wasn't having any luck so far.

Congratulations, Bella. You're now a college graduate, I thought to myself, as I was brought back to the reality of my kitchen.

I shoved the small piece of cake I still had in my hand into my mouth and licked the white and blue frosting off of my fingers as I used my other hand to sort through the mail that was strewn about the table, next to my cake. I hadn't had time to look at these yesterday.

"Bill…bill…bill…" I muttered under my breath. The last one I came across was a large manila envelope

I froze. Rejection letter number seven. Here it was.

My hands trembled as I said a silent prayer before opening the flap on the back of the envelope. I pulled the crisp white sheet of paper from the envelope slowly, and read the contents as soon as I could make sense of the words on the page.

My lips moved as I read on. My heart was beating fast as I tried to make my eyes scan over the most important part. Did they like it or not?

Finally, I saw it. I nodded as I set the envelope and paper down, back on the kitchen table. A single tear escaped down my cheek as I exhaled a long breath. Yup. Rejection letter number seven.

I pulled out the chair in front of me, and plopped down, burying my face in my hands. I jumped when I heard a loud knock at the door. I figured it was Alice, so I didn't bother to check my appearance, other than running my fingers to straighten the knots in my hair. I had yet to take a shower that day, so I was still in my pajamas, comprised of grey sweatpants and a yellow tank top.

Sure enough, I was greeted by a cheerful Alice. "Hey Bella!" She skipped past me into my living room and settled on the couch. "I was at the Forks Deli, and thought it would be fun to bring something over for lunch. We can have a picnic! You haven't eaten yet, have you?"

I shook my head as I lazily walked to the couch to sit next to Alice. "It smells good…" I noted as I observed the hot sandwiches Alice started pulling out of the large unmarked white paper bag.

"I know—I thought we cut could both sandwiches in half and share. Oh! I forgot the lemonade in the car!" She ran outside with her keys, leaving the door wide open. She almost bowled over the postman who was coming up the steps of my porch. "Sorry!" She called over, as she was already unlocking the front door of her car to get the drinks.

The postman chuckled to himself as he shook his head. He smiled at me, but I could barely match his expression when I saw that he placed another manila envelope into the mailbox. His smile faded and he suddenly looked weary. "Well, have a nice day…" He looked a little put off as he walked away from the small bungalow I rented, and gave a little wave to Alice as she made her way back with a drink carrier filled with two ice cold lemonades.

"Bella, do you want me to grab the mail since I'm already out here?" Alice called to me from outside.

I looked at her but couldn't bring myself to respond. She seemed to understand my expression and paused to pull out the contents from my mailbox before stepping inside. Closing the door behind her, she carefully set down the drinks on the coffee table and extended the hand that held the envelope. I gazed up from the envelope to Alice's expectant face with a frightened expression. She seemed to understand this too.

"Do you want me to open it?" She asked.

It took me a minute, but I finally nodded my head. She sat down next to me and rubbed circles on my back to comfort me. I couldn't watch after I saw her slide one finger under the flap to open this new manila envelope. I held my breath and turned away, the tears already threatening to rain down on my face.

It was silent.

"Bella…" Alice's voice came out in a whisper. I knew it. Rejection letter number eight. "They liked it."

I slowly turned my head to look into her smiling face. "What?"

"They liked it." She repeated, a little louder this time.

"How do you know?"

Alice laughed. "Well, I think it says it pretty clearly here. Bella! They liked your story! They want you to submit a full copy of your book and meet with an agent ASAP. They liked your story!" She jumped up and grabbed my hands.

Tears were indeed raining down my cheeks, but these were tears of joy this time. I couldn't believe it. I was going to be a published author!

_**Two Years Later, Present Day**__:_

"Here's to Bella!" Alice raised her champagne glass in the air as I rolled my eyes.

I met Jasper's gaze as he smiled at me and raised his glass to mimic Alice's gesture.

"Shouldn't we be raising a toast to you two? This is your engagement party, after all." So typical. Here we were all gathered to celebrate Alice and Jasper's pre-nuptials and Alice wanted to turn the attention to me. I looked around the room, and noticed that it seemed as though Alice had invited every person she had ever encountered in her life. We had met in college, so I assumed that the other people our age I didn't recognize must have been from her childhood or something, because I thought I knew who all of Alice's friends and family were.

Alice shook her head defiantly. "Absolutely not! There's no law that says we can't support two wonderful occasions at once." She stood up and my face grew hot in fear as to what she was going to say next. "Attention everyone!" She smiled at the guests who were all gathered around small tables in the private section we reserved for this dinner. "First of all, I wanted to thank you all for coming to celebrate my engagement to the love of my life, Jasper." Soft applause filled the dimly lit room as people smiled with congratulations up at Alice and her fiancée. "We are so glad you could make it, and are so excited you could share this moment with us." She smiled and looked back at me. "Stand up," she mouthed.

I shook my head in horror.

"Stand up."

"No," I refused in a harsh whisper.

"I wanted to share some other piece of exciting news tonight," she began as she walked towards me. If I could have run to the door without the fear of her tackling me, I would have. "Most of you know Bella, my best friend from college, my soon to be maid of honor, and published author…"

Oh god. Kill me now. I managed to give a slight smile through my undoubtedly flushed face.

"Her most successful book being _Angel at Dusk_, which was published right after Bella graduated from college," she gave me an excited smile before she continued, completely ignoring the death glare I was giving her at the moment. "It looks like the book has garnered so much success that the rights have just been sold to the Twilight Entertainment Company to produce a big budget movie for national release!"

My face turned the deepest shade of red now, as I received a standing ovation from the small audience of guests at this dinner. Some of them I knew, some of them I didn't.

All of a sudden, I actually felt a wave of pride wash over me, as I recalled familiar faces who had attended my graduation party, especially the ones I remembered with the smug faces who watched me fumble through my answer when they asked what in the world I would accomplish with a degree in English Literature.

My lips started to turn into a small smile as I recognized Lauren in the far corner of the room. Her skin was caked on with fake tanning lotion, her bleached blonde hair looked as thin as ever, and I couldn't help but revel in the fact that she had gained thirty pounds since I saw her last, which was at my graduation party two years ago. Again, I had no idea why Alice invited her, but this time, I was glad to see her.

Almost instantaneously, I realized how easy it was to give her a big smug smile as her eyes narrowed slightly upon the realization that it was meant for her. I couldn't fight the force of Alice's hands as she made me stand up and take a courtesy bow with a nod of my head.

I was exhausted by the time I had finally come home. I turned on the lights and tossed my keys on the floor, kicking off my shoes in the process. I didn't bother to change out of my black cocktail dress as I settled myself down on the couch in front of the TV. I grabbed the small remote next to me to turn on the set, and got up again when I decided I wanted a glass of water.

I could hear the warbling of the entertainment news reporters recalling the top news of the day. For the most part, it was the typical story of young celebrities getting in trouble with the law or getting caught without underwear yet again.

The tile of the kitchen floor felt cold on my feet, but it was relaxing to feel after spending the night in high heels. I turned off the faucet when my glass was full of water, and slowly drank to the faint sounds of the TV in the next room.

All of a sudden, I heard the two words that caused me to drop my now half full glass of water to the floor.

"Edward Cullen…"

I didn't bother to pick up the broken pieces or clean up the water as I hopped over the mess I made and ran into the living room. There was his face, almost exactly as I remembered it. Only his jaw-line was more chiseled, his hair a darker shade of bronze, and his eyes a more penetrating shade of green. I almost collapsed right then at the sight of him on my medium-sized television screen.

He was the only reason I watched this channel, though I'd never admit it out loud. I watched it almost religiously to see if they had anything new to report on this up and coming actor, swiftly making his way to A-List status. My heart would pump out of my chest predictably at the mere mention of his name. Edward.

He was discovered by a talent scout when he was in college, signed by an agency after they caught his performance at one of the school play productions, something he apparently did as an extra-curricular activity as a Molecular Biology major, before he realized that his real passion was in acting.

And now, there he was. On the big screen and the small screen, and on the tip of everyone's tongue recently. My heart would sink every time he was linked to a new beautiful woman and would soar every time his reported status was "single."

Why I cared, I don't know. It's not like I was ever in his league. We were friends in high school, but I know he never thought of me as anything past that. Now especially, he was in a different universe altogether, millions of miles out of my reach.

I think I realized this early on. If I couldn't be with him in this world, at least my main character could get her own Edward in the world I made up, right? I laughed at the image that formed in my head of me writing Edward a thank you letter for being the inspiration of my best-selling book. My only hope was really that he would never find out.

I turned off the TV and headed off to bed, not before running down the stairs again and nearly falling when I realized I still had a broken glass of water on the floor of my kitchen waiting for me to clean up.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own

CHAPTER 2

**BPOV**

_**Nine Years Ago**_

It was my first day of high school. I couldn't fight the butterflies in my stomach due to fears that I would go to the wrong classes, not know how to open my locker, or that I would embarrass myself in front of the upperclassmen by falling down the stairs in my new denim skirt.

I held onto my schedule for dear life, folded numerous times and crumpled in my hand, even though I had already memorized every class, every teacher, and every room number. I stopped by the girls bathroom on my way to my first class, and walked up to the hazy mirrors between two seniors, who were both a couple of inches taller with breasts much bigger than my non-existent ones. They looked at each other with shared understanding, not even trying to hide the smirk they gave in my direction.

"Nice headband." One of them smiled condescendingly at me as the other stifled a giggle.

I managed a half-smile in reply, knowing full well they were mocking me. I stood on my tiptoes to see my reflection, and pretended to fuss with my hair and examine my light makeup, while waiting patiently for them to leave. As soon as they were gone, I hastily ripped my headband off and stuffed it in the front pocket of my backpack. Running my fingers through my hair to comb it out, I realized that my hair was already a hopeless cause, and pulled my lavender headband back out to place it back on top of my head. I sighed.

Why did I let my mom take me back to school shopping? And more importantly, why didn't I realize what a little girl I looked like until just now? I tugged at my denim skirt in frustration. I looked down at my white socks and sneakers and mentally cursed myself for not wearing pants. My feet were soaked, due to the fact that I did not account for the drastic change in weather from Arizona to Oregon. Goulashes would have been a far better choice than the wet sock and tennis shoe look I was sporting at the moment.

The bell rang to signal that I had five minutes before school started and I walked briskly to my first class, which was Science. I slipped through the doorway of the classroom with a few minutes to spare. I noticed as I walked into the room, that the teacher had placed a transparency on the overhead projector, with an exact map of the classroom, and names on each square box that indicated our desks. On each box was a name scrawled in purple. I saw "B Swan" in purple letters encased in a black square, next to the rectangular box labeled "Counter," so I walked over towards the far wall to take my seat.

Studying the seating chart further, I also realized that I had a desk partner.

"E Cullen" was what the label read. Apparently, we were assigned seats randomly, rather than alphabetically.

The one-minute warning bell rang, and I noticed that most of the desks were filled by now. It seemed as though all of the students in my class seemed to recognize each other; I would hear names called out randomly by other students and stories exchanged excitedly as they all caught up on what happened to whom during the long summer. I knew I wouldn't recognize anyone myself, unless there was someone in my class who just transferred from Phoenix like I did.

I hoped in vain that at least a few students would be in the same boat as I was, considering we were all incoming freshman, but no one else seemed to share in my hesitation and bout of nerves about being a new high school student. I guess that's what you get in a small town like Forks.

I started to draw in my notebook, waiting for the bell to ring, so at least I would have an excuse to be ignored by my classmates. I propped my head up with one hand as I flipped my hair over to the side, and continued to doodle.

The final bell rang, and I wondered where "E Cullen" was. Usually kids would wait past the first day of school to start ditching, right?

Mr. Banner introduced himself to the class as he started to hand out notes to our first lecture. My eyes were already starting to glaze over in boredom. I took a packet from the boy in front of me, who seemed to do a double take when he noticed me for the first time. I found out later his name was Mike Newton. I wrote my name in pencil on the first page of the packet and commenced with my drawing, in my binder.

Ten minutes had passed before I heard the squeak of the chair next to me being pulled out slowly. I guess I had tuned out the lecture so well that I didn't hear anyone come through the door, nor did I hear Mr. Banner address the newcomer's tardiness…. Nor did I hear Mr. Banner point out the empty seat next to me for the newcomer to sit in.

I turned my head and saw a young teenage boy with bright green eyes smiling sheepishly at me as he sat down. He seemed shy, which gave me hope that maybe he was new to this town, like I was. I returned the smile and watched him scoot himself into the desk. He reached into his backpack and pulled out a plain blue binder, which matched mine, and flipped it open to a stack of fresh pages. He had a small build and was maybe even a couple inches shorter than I was. His bronze hair was cut short and looked as if it were combed in all directions. I thought he was adorable, in a very non-intimidating way.

I returned to my drawing, trying to make the time pass by, while Mr. Banner continued to drone on.

"What are you drawing?" a soft voice whispered.

I looked up and saw the boy looking at me expectantly with his green eyes searing into my soul.

I shrugged as I looked down. I hadn't really been paying attention, I just needed to give myself something to do, so I wouldn't fall asleep. "Just some flowers and stuff. I tried to draw a frog, but I don't think I have a very accurate memory of what they look like…" I frowned as I examined my creations. The several frogs I tried to create all had some sort of abnormality that made them look more like reptiles thrown into a vat of nuclear waste.

I pushed my notebook in his direction so that he could see, and he laughed, suppressing as much as he could, so Mr. Banner wouldn't catch him not paying attention. "Those are awesome….I like that one especially." He pointed. "It looks like some sort of horse snake…"

We snickered to ourselves as we made up names for my horrible replicas, and started to pass the paper back and forth, adding to the monstrous creations with fedoras and feather boas, among other things.

Before I realized it, the bell rang and class was over. Mr. Banner's droning voice was replaced by the sound of excited chatter once again, and the rustling of papers.

"You should bring that paper again tomorrow. There was more I wanted add to it." The bronze haired boy gave me a genuine smile that I couldn't help but return.

"Sure."

"What's your name, by the way? I'm Edward." He held out his hand for me to shake.

I switched my notebooks to my left arm so I could free my right hand. I grasped his hand to shake it, and was surprised that it seemed so strong for someone who looked as young as he did. "I'm Bella."

"Cool." Edward smiled. "Well, it was nice to meet you. I'll see you around, I'm sure."

I nodded.

I pushed in my chair and watched him leave the room as I checked my schedule to confirm what my next destination would be. One class down, seven to go. So far, it wasn't so bad. I had already made a friend. Who knew that crappy frog drawings could bring two people together?

_**Present Day: Thanksgiving**_

"Cranberry sauce….cranberry sauce….cranberry sauce…" I muttered under my breath, walking hurriedly down the nearly empty aisles of the local grocery store. "Please let there be cranberry sauce…"

Two days after Alice's engagement party, I had a plane booked for Seattle, so I could fly to my parents' house for Thanksgiving dinner.

Unsurprisingly, I was on my way to my destination from the airport, in my rental car, on Thanksgiving day, when my mother called me. She was notorious for forgetting key food items until the last minute, and my dad's favorite "cranberry sauce out of the can" was no exception.

So here I was, in the middle of the deserted store-- wearing my tan trench coat over a black pencil skirt and white blouse, to avoid having to change once I got to the house-- looking for a can of cranberry sauce, just so my dad could hear that slurping sound he loved so much when it would all come out in one fantastic maroon cylindrical blob.

Most of the shelves were wiped clean, so I had my doubts that I would find what I was looking for. I ran my finger through all of the labels of canned food as I paced up and down each aisle in my black patent leather high heels. "Cranberry sauce….cranberry sauce…. Come on, where are you?..." I was losing more hope now.

I swung over and started in the next lane, not even paying attention now to the few patrons around me. They were most likely giving me dirty looks anyway, so why let them distract me?

"Cranberry sauce….cranberry sauce… cranber—Woohoo!!" I jumped in the air and almost slipped as I grabbed the dented can and pumped my other fist in the air. Luckily, I caught myself, and I was about do to my own private victory dance, when I heard my name escape from the velvet voice I would recognize anywhere.

"Bella?"

I froze. My shoes made a squeaking sound as I turned around, due to the soles of my high heels being wet from the rain outside. I faced the Adonis before me with a frozen expression I couldn't get rid of. He was wearing a beige sweater underneath a tan leather jacket that accentuated his lean torso and made him look more heavenly than I ever thought possible. His dark jeans made the contrast of his clothes against his light skin that much more apparent.

"Bella, is that really you?" His smile was decadent and there was humor in his eyes. I'm sure he was entertained by the mild spectacle I made of myself just a moment ago.

"Edward…hi." I forced my jaw to move, to let me speak just one word, so I wouldn't look so much like an idiot. "How are you?"

He ignored my question as he went in for a hug. I opened my arms awkwardly to accept him and almost died upon contact. He smelled so good and I reveled in his strong arms encasing me now. I wanted to bury my face in his neck, but stopped myself with what little self-control I had.

"It's so good to see you!" I heard him say.

He pulled away and I had to remind myself to breathe. It was impossibly hard to focus on anything when he was so close to me.

His smile was so warm and friendly; I could feel my body start to unfreeze. I was grateful that I could finally start acting more like myself, and not like a broken robot.

"Are you in town for Thanksgiving?" He asked.

I finally gave him a smile for the first time. "Yeah, just got into town today. I'm assuming you are, too?"

He nodded, the heart-melting smile never leaving his face.

There was an awkward silence as we stood there. My mind was searching for the next appropriate thing to say. "So…famous movie star, huh?" Um, smooth, Bella. A parrot could have done better than that.

Edward laughed as he gave me and embarrassed grin. "I guess…. If you want to call it that…."

"Well of course, you're all over the magazines, newspapers, television…" _in my dreams_… "I'd be surprised if there was a single human being on this planet who didn't know your name." _Or your beautiful face._

Edward shrugged. "You'd be surprised how that kind of stuff eludes you when you're working in Hollywood. I try not to pay much attention to it, although I have to admit it's hard when the press likes to jump to so many conclusions about my life that aren't true."

"Like what?" I prodded.

He rolled his eyes as he gave another embarrassed, sheepish smile. "Well, it's ridiculous really, all of the famous women they have me linked to all of the time. As if I had time for a relationship on top of all of the work I'm doing, you know?"

I nodded, trying to hide how disheartened I felt. No time for a relationship. Well, at least the rumors of him dating all of those celebrities aren't true.

"I guess it all comes with the territory though," he went on. I wondered if he wanted to say something else on the topic, but he shrugged instead. There was another awkward pause before he decided to speak again. "So…famous book author, huh?" He raised his eyebrows at me, knowing he was turning the tables on the embarrassment factor.

"Oh that…" I trailed off, looking for any implication in Edward's eyes whether or not he had actually read my book. To hell with it, I'll just ask him. "Have you read any of my books?" I asked, hopefully. Hopefully not, I added.

He looked at me guiltily. "I'm afraid I haven't."

"Oh good." I sighed in relief. He looked surprised at my reaction, so I corrected myself. "They're just embarrassing. Really girly," I tried to explain, without giving too much information as to how embarrassing it would be to have him read the book he inspired.

He laughed in a way that sent automatic shivers down my spine, a rich, velvet melody. "They can't be that embarrassing. They don't have pictures of half naked men in suede chaps and cowboy boots, seducing scantily clad pirate hookers on the cover, do they?" He teased.

"Of course not." I quickly defended myself, but I couldn't fight the blush that was forcing its way to my cheeks as I suddenly pictured Edward as a half naked cowboy on the cover of a romance novel. "They're not those kind of books," I insisted, smiling at the fact that some of our old rapport was still in tact.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to read them sometime to know for sure."

My eyes went slightly wide in panic. Hopefully I caught myself before he caught on to my expression. "Yeah… but I'd be surprised if you'd like them," I added, trying desperately to discourage him. Granted, only the first book I wrote and published was so blatantly inspired by Edward that he would notice, but the idea of him criticizing or potentially hating or ridiculing any of my books was downright terrifying to me.

Edward looked at me skeptically, the look of humor still present on his face. "I'm sure you're just being modest.

I shrugged. "So what are you doing in a grocery store on Thanksgiving? Shouldn't you be at home helping your mom peel potatoes or something?" I was more than desperate to change the subject at the moment.

Edward chuckled. "Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing? I came for a can of cranberry sauce, but I see that you beat me to it. I would fight you for it, but those heels look pretty lethal to me. They might give you an unfair advantage."

I covered the can with both hands protectively as I held it to my body. "I'm not afraid to use whatever advantage I have… You don't want to see the look on Charlie's face if I come home without this. He counts on the moment every year that he can take a can opener to his favorite brand of cranberry sauce, just so he can tip it over and shake it like a dead animal, until he hears that fffffflllllup as it plops onto the plate!" I giggled, and then turned red when I realized I must have sounded like a little kid just then.

Edward just smiled again. "That's my dad's favorite part, too." His eyes scanned the almost empty shelves. "Maybe he can get a similar effect out of a can of… string beans?"

I shrugged. "It's worth a shot. Hey, I'll tell you what. You let me walk away with this can of cranberry sauce today, and I'll send a gift basket come Christmas time with all of the cranberry sauce cans your dad could only dream of."

"Deal." Edward held out his hand, and I almost recoiled on instinct, in fear that I might get shocked by a bolt of electricity if I touched him again. I mentally prepared myself to extend my hand to meet his and hoped he wouldn't realize how much I was trembling.

Just then, the store manager announced they would be closing within the next ten minutes. Edward and I looked at each other then, and it was upon unspoken agreement that he would walk my way to the checkout. I started to walk sideways down the aisle, afraid that as soon I turned my head away from him, I'd realize it was all a dream.

"It was really nice to see you," Edward mused, repeating his statement from before. "You look great by the way."

I smiled at him shyly as we approached the checkout counter. "Thanks." _Would it be corny to say, "You look great, too"?_ I decided against it, to play it safe. "It's crazy that we ran into each other. I'm surprised you found the time to come back here for Thanksgiving."

Edward smiled, but this time, it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Sometimes you have to fight for a little bit of normalcy in your life, especially when it gets so crazy."

I nodded in understanding, but troubled that I could see a part of Edward hurting in a way that I had never witnessed before. "Fame's really not all it's cracked up to be."

"Yeah, you would understand that, wouldn't you?" Edward looked at me with gratitude in his eyes over my empathy towards his situation.

"To an extent, I suppose. Fortunately, writers don't usually get recognized by paparazzi, whether they're grocery shopping or standing in the middle of Rodeo Drive in the nude," I admitted.

Edward chuckled. It warmed my heart that I could make him laugh. "True." He had no more reason to stay, but he looked like he wasn't quite ready to leave. At least, that was what I was hoping. I knew myself too well to trust my own deluded thoughts. "How long are you going to be in town?"

"Just through the weekend. My flight back to Arizona is on Sunday," I replied. "What about you?"

"I go back on Saturday." He looked thoughtful. "Do you have anything going on tomorrow?"

I fought to tame my internal teenager at the thought of where this was leading. "Uh, not really. Not that I know of, at least. Why?"

"We should hang out. If you have time. We could grab a cup of coffee or something." He looked at me expectantly, waiting for a response.

Truth be told, it was hard to formulate one; I was so flustered. "Uh…yeah. That would be cool. Sure." That was my pathetic attempt to appear nonchalant.

I watched him, dumbstruck, as he pulled out his cell phone. I took the opportunity to glance over at the cashier, whom I realized was now glaring at me, waiting this whole time to set my damn can of cranberry sauce on the conveyer belt. I gave the middle-aged woman an apologetic look as I started to inch her way, hopefully implying to her that I was almost done with my conversation with Edward Cullen, the movie star.

"What's your phone number?" Edward's thumb was poised over the keypad of his cell phone. I told him, and waited as he punched in the letters of my name to save it to memory. "I'll give you a call tomorrow."

I watched him start to walk away. For a fleeting moment, I was almost inclined to reach out and pull him back. Instead, I opted for the saner route, once again. "Okay, sounds good." I managed another smile, as I finally set the can of cranberry sauce in front of the cashier, meeting another death glare from the woman who clearly did not want to be working on Thanksgiving Day.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" He called out, as he looked back at me with another patented smile over his shoulder. I watched him as he out the large automatic doors.

I waved. "Happy Thanksgiving to you too!" I couldn't take off the smile on my face as I happily paid the cashier and took my can of cranberry sauce with me out the store. "Happy Thanksgiving," I repeated to the cashier.

She only stared at me as I walked away, but I didn't care. I tightened the belt around my trench coat and faced the rain again. I was tempted to jump in the puddles on my way to my car, but luckily, I was coherent enough to think better of it.

On my drive home, I imagined the different scenarios of Edward and I sitting across from each other around a small table in a coffee shop. The nerves were fighting me as I tried to reason with them. _Why did I have to be so nervous around him? I didn't used to be this way…_. All of a sudden, 15-year old Bella seemed much braver than 24-year old Bella. _So pathetic._

Soon enough, in typical Bella style, my mind was running rampant with a new set of questions and insecurities_. Was this a date? He didn't say it was a date… maybe he just wants to catch up as old friends. Maybe he was just using me to maintain some normalcy in his life, like he was saying about having Thanksgiving at his parents' house. Maybe he was just trying to think of something to entertain him while he was in town, and he just asked me to hang out with him so he could alleviate his boredom. _

_Ahh…. Maybe you should stop being so neurotic and just enjoy the fact that Edward asked you to spend time with him. That's it. No explanation needed. _

I sighed as I finally pulled up to the house with the familiar police cruiser parked in the driveway. "Worry later," I told myself. "There's plenty of time to worry later."

I unbuckled my seat belt, and grabbed my precious can of cranberry sauce, along with my purse. I decided I would leave my bags for later, and closed the door to my car. Taking quick steps to avoid more rain, I burst through the front door.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" I called out, holding the can of cranberry sauce out for the world to see. Or my family, at least.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Not mine.

CHAPTER 3

**EPOV**

"Edward! Get your butt up! Just because you're rich and famous, it doesn't mean you can sleep in until noon while the rest of us slave away in the kitchen!"

I groaned into my pillow as I heard the door to my room slam behind me. I normally wasn't one to sleep in, but my efforts to spend Thanksgiving with my family in the midst of my hectic schedule resulted in a last minute red-eye flight from Los Angeles to Seattle, with me getting into town and home promptly at 1 AM.

Of course, my mother, having not seen me in three months, insisted on staying up another two hours while I caught her up on nearly every miniscule detail of my new life. It mainly consisted of me convincing my mom that the various rumors circulating around me weren't true, negating the claims that I was dating whatever Hollywood flavor-of-the-month the press insisted on linking me to, much to my mother's satisfaction.

However, she couldn't help but slip in a remark that she hoped I would find a nice girl already. I rolled my eyes and smiled in habit, assuring her that I wouldn't settle for less than 'Esme perfection,' which always got a laugh out of my mom.

To be honest, talking to my mother about the pressures of Hollywood and non-existent romances made it all seem bearable for the first time. She always had a way of helping me to see the humor in every situation.

I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, willing myself out of bed. Grateful that my parents didn't turn my room into a study or another guestroom, I found myself retreating back to my adolescence as I gazed up at the posters of my former favorite bands and sports memorabilia sitting on the various shelves of my room. I unzipped my suitcase that was sitting by my bed on the floor and gathered everything I would need to get myself cleaned up.

Once I was showered and clean-shaven, I made my way downstairs where I could smell the warm Thanksgiving smells filling the air of the house. It was just what I needed.

"Thanks for the wake-up call, Emmett," I remarked sarcastically to my brother who had the arms of his collared-shirt rolled up to his elbows as he rolled thick pieces of dough to set on the baking sheet in front of him. "Hi mom," I said to my mother as I pulled her in for a hug when I entered the kitchen.

"Hey, you can't argue that we're not trying to keep you humble," Emmett joked good-naturedly as he pulled another piece of dough from the large bowl.

I popped a small marshmallow in my mouth before rolling my eyes with a smile. "That's definitely true." I pulled another marshmallow out of the bag and threw it at Emmett, hitting him square between the eyes.

"Ohh…." Emmett held up the round piece of dough in his hand and his eyes narrowed mishieviously.

I took the entire bag in one hand, with the other hand poised above the torn opening. "I'm not afraid to use these…"

"Boys!" Our mom interrupted us as a sticky glob pelted me in the forehead, but her efforts were futile as she burst out into laughter.

I dipped my hand in the bag of flour next to me and blew it into Emmett's face. He was chalk-white from the neck up, and this only fueled our mother's laughter further as Emmett retaliated by throwing a raw egg in my direction.

"Hey!" I shouted as the egg cracked on my shoulder. I turned just in time to see a dark red substance zero in on my nose. I was shocked to see that my own mother was the culprit, holding a wooden spoon and slowly shying away from Emmett and I as we shared a glance and approached my mother as the target.

On instinct, I tossed another handful of flour in her direction, just as Emmett poured the bowl of cranberry sauce on her head. The kitchen erupted into shrieks of laughter as food sprayed from all different directions in the air. My spirit was lifted ten stories high as I took the moment to enjoy the presence of the people who mattered to me the most. I missed this so much.

We only stopped when we heard a voice being cleared by the doorway.

"Ahem."

I froze and turned my attention to where my dad was standing at the entrance of the kitchen. He had a stern and stoic expression on his face, but I could tell that he was biting down hard to fight the smile threatening to come to the surface.

I looked over where my mom and Emmett were standing and the sight was beyond hilarious. White flour, dough, and cranberry sauce stained their faces and torsos like some sort of Pillsbury dough village massacre.

I looked down at my own appearance and grabbed a towel to wipe some of the flour that dusted my face. Unfortunately the towel I grabbed was already caked with bits of cranberry sauce, raw eggs, and flour.

That seemed to do it for my dad. His voice broke out into booming laughter that rivaled Emmett's. My eyes were clamped shut, now that I was afraid to open them with the new pieces of food stuck on my face. The last thing I wanted was a clump of wet flour in my eyes. I scrambled around, blindly feeling my way through the kitchen to find the sink.

"Hold it right there!" I heard my dad say, and footsteps fading out of the room. Before I realized my dad had left the room, I heard the same footsteps reappear and the click of the camera told me a very compromising photo was just taken.

Now they were just being mean.

"Colder….warmer….warmer….oh wait….colder…." I could hear Emmett's voice taunting me. I knew how ridiculous I must have looked, trying to find my way around the kitchen with my eyes closed and various food particles stuck to me, as my family just watched, trying unsuccessfully to hide their stifled laughter, clearly enjoying the spectacle I was making of myself.

"Damn it, Emmett! Can't you just tell me where to go? I feel like I'm playing Marco Polo in the kiddie pool all over again."

"But this way is so much more fun!" Emmett reasoned cheerfully. "Okay, warmer….. warmer….you're almost there…. Oh, well, now you just walked right past it. Man, Edward. You'd think living in this house for 10 years, you'd have an easier time finding the sink," he teased.

"Aw, come on!" I was getting really tired of not being able to see. "Mom!"

My mother's laughter became louder as I could hear her coming closer. "Alright, alright. Sorry, Edward. But you should see yourself, it really is the funniest thing I've ever seen." Her voice was still light with laughter as she gently guided me to the faucet.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I tried to appear annoyed, but it was hard to portray since I already had a pretty vivid picture in my mind of what I looked like, and even I had to admit it was pretty funny. I splashed some cold water on my face and was grateful to finally be able to open my eyes again.

I turned around and grinned at Emmett and my mother, still covered in their Thanksgiving food fight glory. Then, I saw my dad standing next to the island in the center of the kitchen now, and realized I was seeing him for the first time since my flight arrived. I also realized that he was wearing a long-sleeved button down shirt and khaki pants that were completely clean. "Dad!" I walked towards him with my arms spread wide and his eyes had a slight look of horror as he took in my appearance and the knowledge of what would happen to him if I hugged him right now.

"Dad! I haven't seen you in months, I want to give you a hug." I didn't even try to feign innocence as I walked towards him. We both knew exactly what I was doing.

"Edward, son, I love you, but please get away from me." My dad had a smile on his face, but the authority in his voice held no bearing as I continued to close in on him.

I looked back at my mother and Emmett and they seemed to have the same mischievous glances that I was sure matched the one that was already plastered on my face as they walked towards us.

"Group hug!" Emmett called, and the three of us trapped my dad from all sides and enclosed ourselves around him.

My dad groaned in defeat. We stepped back to observe the damage, laughing at the colorful red stains on his shirt.

"Well, I guess I was due for another shower anyway," he muttered. He looked up and surveyed the catastrophe we made of the kitchen now. His eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on the empty bowl of cranberry sauce.

"Don't worry, honey, there's more cranberry sauce in the fridge," comforted my mother. "And we'll clean up the mess—"

"It's homemade."

I watched my mom furrow her brow. "Yes, I thought I'd try a new recipe. I found it in a magazine—"

"But it's homemade."

"Carlisle, what are you getting at?" My mother looked confused as she looked up at my dad who was now standing incredulously at the fridge, with the bowl of wrapped cranberry sauce in his hands.

I looked at Emmett and we both hid our smiles. We knew what this was leading to.

"Did you not get the kind that comes out of the can?"

My mom rolled her eyes as she finally came to understand. "No, I thought I'd actually serve cranberry sauce made with real cranberries this year."

My dad was trying to hide his disappointment, but if I didn't know any better, I would have sworn there were tears forming in his eyes. "But it's not the same," he muttered under his breath. I tried not to laugh at the fact that my father sounded more like a wounded puppy than a man who spent most of his days treating dying patients and saving lives.

"Dad, do you want me to run to the store and get you a can of cranberry sauce?" I offered.

"Are the stores even open today?" My dad looked hopeful, and I had to bit my lip to keep another laugh from escaping. Emmett had apparently already given up and I could see him silently convulsing beside me.

"Edward, that's ridiculous. Carlisle, don't make him drive ten minutes out of the way just to get you cranberry sauce, when I made a perfectly good batch right here." She gave my father a stern look and Emmett and I watched as they had a silent conversation with their eyes for a good solid minute before my mom finally heaved a sigh in defeat. "Fine. Edward, grab a twenty from my purse."

My dad gave me a grateful look that was also apologetic. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

I gave him a pat on the shoulder to reassure him. "Any excuse to drive your Mercedes, eh?" I winked at him.

He chuckled as he fished in his pocket for his keys. "Alright, well now we're even."

"Deal." I smiled as I took the keys from him. "Let me just take a shower before I go, otherwise I'll end up getting a nice paste covering on your leather seats," I joked, ascending up the stairs to take my second shower of the day.

"Don't take all the hot water! I'm next!" Emmett's voice carried up the stairs from where he was helping our mom clean up the mess we made in the kitchen.

When I was finally clean again, I breathed a sigh of contentment as I slid into the driver's side of my dad's car. Pulling my iPod out of my pocket, I plugged it into the stereo and blasted the speakers as I pulled out of our driveway and onto the street. The drive really wasn't bad… the pouring rain made the ride that much more comfortable, the soothing sounds of the light tapping on my windshield served as the perfect backdrop to the music I was listening to on my way to the store. Just as I pulled into a parking spot, I felt my phone vibrate. Pulling on the parking brake and turning off the car, I simultaneously reached into my pocket again to reach for my phone. Seeing who was on the other end, I let out a groan.

"How's it going, Jessica?"

"Edward! I'm so glad you answered your phone! Well, I just called to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving…"

"Oh thanks. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Is that all you called to tell me?"

"Well I also called to touch base with you on a few things."

_Of course_. "Okay…" I prodded.

"Don't worry, it's all good news."

"Define good, Jessica."

"_Time_ magazine wants to do a spread about you."

"Any particular reason?"

"No reason other than the fact that it'll sell them tons of magazines. Also, your agent called me, and apparently there are a few big projects being offered in your direction that we want to play up to the public."

"You mean parts that I haven't agreed to yet?"

"Yes."

"You want to tell people I may or may not be offered parts that I may or may not be interested in?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Publicity."

"Well when you put it that way…" I couldn't help but lay out the sarcasm. "Can I at least see what these potential projects are before we make a mass announcement to the public about what I may or may not be in?"

"Yes…and that brings me to the other thing I wanted to talk to you about."

"What is it?"

"When's your flight back to LA scheduled for?"

"Saturday." I gritted my teeth. "Why?"

"You think you can make that earlier?"

"How much earlier?"

"Like, say, we book you a flight to come back tonight for a meeting at 7 AM tomorrow morning?"

"No, Jessica. Absolutely not. Come on, you have to give me at least this weekend. I need this weekend for my sanity. I need one weekend away from cameras in my face, from crazed fans, from scandals in tabloids, and quite frankly, I need one weekend away from directors, agents, and even my publicist, as lovely as she may be." I was laying it on thick, but I was desperate to stay home.

I waited patiently on the phone, hearing Jessica's soft murmurs as she talked to someone on her end. A couple of minutes had passed before she was finally talking to me again.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Fine, Edward. We'll figure it out. You call me as soon as you get in on Saturday, and we'll reschedule the meeting with your agent."

"God Bless you, Jessica. You don't know how much this means to me."

"Sure thing. Have a good Thanksgiving."

"Yes, you too. Bye!" I hung up the phone and pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers. Crisis averted, but the slight headache it caused was frustrating to deal with. Why did it always have to be a hassle just to get one holiday to myself? I leaned back in the seat to gather my thoughts before I walked into the rain, frustrated that my good mood was slightly deflated already.

Just then, I saw a blurred figure run out in front of my car that caught my attention. Slender legs protruded out of a tan trench coat, and brown hair cascaded down the woman's shoulders, reminding me of someone… Could it be?

Curiosity gave me the momentum I needed to face the rain as I opened the door to my dad's car and trotted my way inside the store.

I found her quickly, but was reluctant to approach her or call out her name just yet. She was pacing up and down the aisles so fast that I could hardly keep up with her. It was funny; I was convinced that she looked so much like the person I thought she was, but at the same time, she seemed so different, that I was then convinced it must be someone else. I didn't want to embarrass myself by yelling her name in the middle of the store only to find out that I was wrong. So, I kept following her. I almost laughed as I watched her scurry in her high heels, and noticed how they accentuated her calf muscles underneath her trench coat.

Finally, she slowed down and I could hear that she was chanting something under her breath.

"Woohoo!" She jumped up and paused long enough for me to finally close the distance between us. It caught me off-guard and I was tempted to laugh out loud, just as I saw that she had lost her footing and almost slipped on the wet floor. Luckily, she caught herself and she turned my way slightly, just enough for me to confirm my suspicions.

"Bella?" I asked tentatively. The woman turned abruptly to face me now, and I couldn't help the grin that formed on my face as I realized it was really her. "Bella, is that really you?"

"Edward…hi." Her voice brought back a flood of memories all at once. I was so happy to see someone from my past, someone who knew me before my life turned upside down. It was a natural reaction to hug her, and the familiarity of the smell of her damp hair brought me a new warmth and comfort.

I know she asked me how I was, but I didn't know how to answer that question honestly without spurring a new set of questions that I wasn't ready to answer. I decided to answer it in my own way. "It's so good to see you!"

I pulled away and took a good look at her for the first time. Her face had thinned out a little from losing the traces of baby fat since the last time I saw her, which must have been right around high school graduation. Her cheekbones were more pronounced, her lips were slightly fuller, and her brown eyes even seemed noticeably wider. She was always pretty, but standing before me now, I realized that Bella had become quite a beautiful woman since the end of high school.

"Are you in town for Thanksgiving?" I asked.

She smiled at me, and I noted a slight flutter in my heart when she did so. It confused me a little. "Yeah, just got into town today. I'm assuming you are, too?"

I just nodded. I was distracted by my own reaction to Bella's smile when I heard her ask me a question.

"So…famous movie star, huh?"

I tried not to appear as embarrassed as I felt. "I guess… if you want to call it that…"

"Well of course, you're all over the magazines, newspapers, television…I'd be surprised if there was a single human being on this planet who didn't know your name."

All of a sudden, another wave of embarrassment washed over me as I wondered what Bella thought about my completely fabricated Hollywood reputation. "You'd be surprised how that kind of stuff eludes you when you're working in Hollywood. I try not to pay much attention to it, although I have to admit it's hard when the press likes to jump to so many conclusions about my life that aren't true."

"Like what?" she asked.

It was embarrassing to talk about, but I was glad that I could at least set the record straight. "Well, it's ridiculous really, all of the famous women they have me linked to all of the time. As if I had time for a relationship on top of all of the work I'm doing, you know?"

I waited for her to nod in response.

"I guess it all comes with the territory though." I wish that I could have gone on about my frustrations with my life, lacking in privacy, and the trouble I have in finding people I can trust in Hollywood, but I didn't want to turn our light conversation into a pity party for me. So, I just shrugged. I searched for something else to say, when I remembered who it was I was talking to. "So…famous book author, huh?" I raised my eyebrows at her, deciding to give her a little taste of her own medicine. If she was still the Bella I knew from high school, I knew she could at least handle it in small doses.

"Oh that…" She looked embarrassed, which I found endearing. It was good to see that fame and fortune hadn't gone to her head. "Have you read any of my books?"

I was a little embarrassed. "I'm afraid I haven't." I had been too busy to read anything besides movie scripts recently. Guilt filtered through my conscience as I recalled the many times I thought to myself how I really should go and read one of her books. It would give me a good reason to get in touch with her, to tell her how much I enjoyed it, but it was a thought that often slipped my mind before I could act on it. Bella's voice interrupted my thoughts before I could really dwell on it any further.

"Oh good."

I was surprised that she seemed so relieved_. Did she not want me to read it? Why wouldn't she want me to read it?_

"They're just embarrassing. Really girly," she explained to me.

Oh. I laughed at the image that flashed in my mind, and couldn't help but tease Bella about what kind of books would cause her to not want me to read her books. "They can't be that embarrassing. They don't have pictures of half naked men in suede chaps and cowboy boots, seducing scantily clad pirate hookers on the cover, do they?"

"Of course not." She quickly retorted, but I saw a faint blush on her cheeks that made me wonder if I had actually hit the nail on the head. I found it amusing, though. I never pictured Bella to be the type to write steamy romance novels, but I guess there was a lot I didn't really know about her in high school. The idea that she might be the type surprised be, and simultaneously intrigued me. "They're not those kind of books," she insisted.

I smiled. "Well, I guess I'll just have to read them sometime to know for sure."

"Yeah… but I'd be surprised if you'd like them," I added.

Or maybe she really was just that humble? Even more endearing. I was looking at Bella now, a woman with more accomplishments under her belt than most of the people I knew, looking like a million bucks in the middle of this small-town grocery store, and through her eyes, I saw the shy girl I sat next to in my 9th grade science class. She was always a mystery to me when I knew her back then, and she was even more of an enigma now standing before me.

_Hmm…maybe if I actually read one of her books, they'd give me some insight into the secret world of Bella Swan_, I thought to myself. The idea gave me an extra incentive to make sure I bought one of her books the next time I was at the bookstore. I couldn't help but find it funny that Bella, at the top of all of the best-seller lists, would be worried that I wouldn't like her writing. "I'm sure you're just being modest.

She shrugged and I almost laughed at her desperation to changed the subject. "So what are you doing in a grocery store on Thanksgiving? Shouldn't you be at home helping your mom peel potatoes or something?"

I chuckled as I recalled the image of her running up and down the aisles of the store. "Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing? I came for a can of cranberry sauce, but I see that you beat me to it. I would fight you for it, but those heels look pretty lethal to me. They might give you an unfair advantage."

She covered the can with both hands protectively, holding it to her body. "I'm not afraid to use whatever advantage I have… You don't want to see the look on Charlie's face if I come home without this. He counts on the moment every year that he can take a can opener to his favorite brand of cranberry sauce, just so he can tip it over and shake it like a dead animal, until he hears that fffffflllllup as it plops onto the plate!" She giggled, pulling me back to high school memories again.

I was a little more than mesmerized by her laugh. Adding that to the fact that both our fathers had an obsession with generic cranberry gelatin, I smiled. "That's my dad's favorite part, too." My eyes scanned the almost empty shelves. "Maybe he can get a similar effect out of a can of… string beans?"

"It's worth a shot. Hey, I'll tell you what. You let me walk away with this can of cranberry sauce today, and I'll send a gift basket come Christmas time with all of the cranberry sauce cans your dad could only dream of."

I had to suppress the laughter this time, as I envisioned the look of despair on my dad's face when I broke the bad news to him that he wouldn't get his favorite Thanksgiving treat this year. It was replaced by an even more hilarious vision of my dad's face breaking out into utter elation when he saw Bella's Christmas basket filled with enough generic jelly to last a lifetime. "Deal."

I assumed it would give me another reason to see Bella again anyway. Being around her gave me a sense of comfort I couldn't quite describe, nor could I find it anywhere else. I held out my hand and noticed that hers was shaking slightly as it tenderly touched mine. I enclosed my hand around hers and felt the softness of her skin, sending a slight jolt of electricity through me. As I let go, I expanded my fingers to release some of the heat where it was concentrated.

Just then, the store manager announced they would be closing within the next ten minutes. I looked at Bella, and instinctively started walking with her to the checkout counter.

"It was really nice to see you." I couldn't help but say it again. "You look great by the way." I couldn't help but say that, either.

She smiled at me shyly as we approached the counter. "Thanks. It's crazy that we ran into each other. I'm surprised you found the time to come back here for Thanksgiving."

I tried to smile as reality flooded back into my eyes, upon her statement. "Sometimes you have to fight for a little bit of normalcy in your life, especially when it gets so crazy."

"Fame's really not all it's cracked up to be." Bella looked up at me and her eyes were filled with sympathy. I appreciated it.

"Yeah, you would understand that, wouldn't you?" It was so nice to share this with someone who could actually empathize with my situation. It meant even more that Bella could be that person.

"To an extent, I suppose. Fortunately, writers don't usually get recognized by paparazzi, whether they're grocery shopping or standing in the middle of Rodeo Drive in the nude."

I chuckled at Bella's honesty. I forgot how genuinely funny she could be. "True."

We were at a crossroads now. It was the appropriate time for me to leave, but the force that brought me here wouldn't let me pull away. I was overcome with emotions I couldn't quite understand. I had to confess that I hadn't thought about her that often during the time we had spent apart since our senior year of high school, but all of a sudden, I found myself wondering how I could possibly go another day without seeing her again. I had to see more of her. At least one more time before I went back to LA.

"How long are you going to be in town?"

"Just through the weekend. My flight back to Arizona is on Sunday. What about you?"

"I go back on Saturday." I was slightly conflicted. I didn't want her to think I was asking her on a date. I didn't want to hurt her by leading her on. I just wanted to see her again, and justified it in my head that we were friends, after all. "Do you have anything going on tomorrow?"

"Uh, not really. Not that I know of, at least. Why?"

Perfect. "We should hang out. If you have time. We could grab a cup of coffee or something," I suggested.

When she agreed, I put her phone number into my cell and told her I would call her the next day to go over details. I couldn't explain why, but I felt buoyant, like I was walking on air. I looked over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of her one last time before I faced the rain, and was incapable of erasing the large grin on my face. "Happy Thanksgiving!"

She smiled back and waved at me from the checkout counter. "Happy Thanksgiving to you too!"

I drove with lightning speed back to my house and readied myself for my dad's reaction when I told him they were out of canned cranberry sauce. His reaction was just as expected, and I felt a twinge of sympathy for him. Of course, I couldn't help but join in the laughter from Emmett and my mom when we each took one glance at my dad's forlorn expression.

"So, if you didn't get the can of cranberry sauce, what took you so long to get back?" My brother wondered aloud, as we were putting the finishing touches on the table setting.

"I ran into Bella Swan."

"Who's that?"

"A friend from high school. You remember her, don't you, mom? She came over a couple of times to work on school projects with me. She was one of my good friends."

My mom smiled upon recollection. "Oh, Bella! She was so sweet and quiet. What is she up to now? Isn't she a best-selling writer or something along those lines?"

"Yeah. Crazy, isn't it? I always see her books on the top of all of the best-seller lists when I read the paper."

"Well, that's great she's so successful. Did you do a lot of catching up?" My mom inquired.

"Not really," I admitted. "But, we're going out for coffee tomorrow, so I'm sure we'll have lots of 'catching up' time then."

My mother had a strange look in her eyes as she reflected on what I just said. "Really? A coffee date?"

I shrugged. "Not really a date. You know, it's just two old friends getting together over a cup of coffee. Mom, I don't have time to date, you know that better than anyone."

"Edward, I really wish you would give yourself more credit." My mom had a look of concern in her eyes now. "Stop making excuses just so you can avoid getting your heart broken."

"I know mom, I'm not making excuses," I tried to earnestly convince her, but I couldn't deny the inkling of truth my mother held in the words she spoke. "But things are so crazy right now. I have enough trouble settling the affairs of my own life straight, let along bringing someone else into it. Bella's a friend. It was good to see her. I just want to catch up on old times, spend time with someone who knew me before the fame and fortune. And what's better is that she can relate too, with the fame and fortune part."

I finally saw a smile on my mother's face as she looked at me with satisfaction. "Why don't you bring her over tomorrow? It'll be good to see her after all these years," she suggested.

"Maybe I will," I agreed.

I sat down with the rest of my family as we enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving meal, sans the can of cranberry sauce. I suppressed the odd feeling boiling in my stomach as my thoughts flash-forwarded to me seeing Bella again the next day, her phone number and name burning a hole in my cell phone that rested in my pants pocket. _It's not a date_, I reminded myself.

Because if it was a date, I didn't want to look into Bella's eyes when I'd ultimately break her heart. And she didn't deserve that.

Or worse for me, when she'd ultimately break mine.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Not mine.

CHAPTER 4

**BPOV**

I had to cover my mouth to keep myself from screaming in surprise and waking up my parents when I heard the familiar ring tone and Edward's name appear on the screen of my cell phone the next morning.

I held the phone in front of me, making sure to take a few deep breaths before I answered. Pressing the green button on the top right corner of the keypad, I pressed the phone to my ear. "Hello!" I immediately cringed at the over-enthusiastic timbre in my voice.

I heard him chuckling softly on the other end. "Someone's a morning person."

I meekly tried to match his teasing tone. "Yeah, well…" I had nothing except a nervous laugh to follow the trailing statement.

This only seemed to amuse him further, much to my own embarrassment, as I heard him begin to laugh softly again. Luckily, he didn't dwell on my flustered state. "Did your dad enjoy the cranberry sauce?" I could hear the smile in his voice, and I only wished I could have seen it in person.

"Yes, he did." I smiled. "In fact, I told him about our encounter, and I he wanted me to thank you for your generosity."

There was that beautiful laugh again. "Well, you beat me to it fair and square, what can I say?"

There was a small pause before he spoke again.

"So, are you still up for that coffee today, or did you find something better or more important to do than hang out with a loser like me?" He joked.

I couldn't help but burst out into laughter at the thought. Like I had something better to do than spend time with the man of my dreams. "And miss my chance to spend time with _the_ Edward Cullen?" I heard him chuckle on the other end. "I'm still game…. Unless you found something better or more important to do than hang out with me." I bit my lip nervously, immediately resenting the open window I gave Edward to escape our time together.

"Like I have something more important to do than spend time with _the_ Bella Swan?"

I rolled my eyes, but slowly breathed a sigh of relief. He still wanted to see me.

**Nine Years Ago- Second Day of School**

"Hello….Bella?" Edward gave me a wide smile as he sat down next to me at our table. Unlike the day before, Edward had managed to make it to class before it started.

I returned the smile generously, before I pulled out the materials I needed for another day of note-taking. "Yeah, Edward, right?"

"Right."

It was a bit of a relief to have someone to talk to this time, during the few spare minutes we had before the bell rang, so I didn't feel quite so left out of the myriad of conversations going on between students around me. Edward asked if I had brought the piece of paper that had all of the drawings we made the previous day and I nodded as I pushed myself from the desk to get the paper out of my backpack. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Edward's legs swinging beneath him, under his chair, his feet not quite able to set themselves flat on the floor.

As I brought my torso back up and placed the sheet of paper in front of me, Edward hoisted one leg up and under him on top of the chair, as he used the leverage to lean in closer, with his elbows propped up on the table. A slight breeze blew from his movement, and I breathed in the smell of fresh laundry. It was pleasant.

He laughed as he observed the drawings. "Oh yeah, I remember what I wanted to do to this one…" he motioned towards one of the "frog" figures with his pencil and proceeded to draw a top hat and a laser gun to further accessorize our creations. I smiled as I watched his pencil glide onto the paper and looked up to see his eyes were already resting on mine. He smiled before looking away, asking me how the rest of my first day of school went, while proceeding with his drawings.

"It was okay."

"Just okay?" Edward prodded.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I guess it wasn't any worse or better than I expected, you know? No one stuffed me in a locker and I was only a couple minutes late to one of my classes. It could have been a lot worse. With my luck, I would have tripped down the stairs in my new skirt. To be honest, I'm really surprised it didn't happen," I remarked, dryly.

Edward laughed.

"What about you?" I asked. "How was your first day?"

Edward shrugged as he turned his head to give me a response. "It could have been worse." He turned his attention back to the paper, a small smile playing on his lips. Before I could ask him to elaborate, he spoke again. "We aren't in any other classes together."

It wasn't a question, so I didn't know how to respond. "Yeah…"

"What grade are you in?"

"Uhhh….9th." I was confused. Wasn't he a freshman, too? "Why?"

"I don't know…you seem older, I guess. I thought maybe that was why we didn't have any classes together. Most of the other kids in here are in my other classes too." He shrugged his shoulders, propping his head up by one arm, while using the other arm to continue drawing.

"Oh…that makes sense." Then I thought of something. "So you thought I flunked 9th grade science or something?" The idea was a little humorous to me, especially considering the fact that science was actually one of my strongest subjects.

"No, that's not what I meant." Edward sat up straight as he looked at me with apologetic eyes. "I just—"

I rolled my eyes, putting up one hand to stop him. "It's cool. I wasn't offended or anything." I giggled.

He sighed in relief and gave me a sheepish grin. "Sorry."

I shook my head to dismiss his apology. I looked at the clock and saw that we had at least a minute to go before the bell and our teacher was nowhere in sight. I decided to seize the opportunity to ask him the question I didn't get a chance to the day before. "How long have you lived in Forks?"

"I just moved here. You?"

"I just moved here, too."

Edward's eyes grew wide and he smiled upon this new discovery. "Oh cool! I didn't know you were a new student! Man, I feel like everyone here knows everyone else but me. Where did you move from?"

"Pheonix."

"Oh, so you just basically moved from Venus straight to Mars, didn't you?"

I laughed at his analogy. "Exactly. Where did _you_ move from?"

"Alaska. Not quite a drastic difference, but still an adjustment." He set his pencil down and leaned back in his chair. "So—"

"Bella!" A foreign voice shouted out my name and I grimaced as I observed the entire classroom averting their attention to me. I looked up and saw Mike Newton close the distance from the door to the table in front of mine in quick strides as the final bell rang, signaling the beginning of class.

I met Mike the day before in my history class. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he had taken the entire period to work up the nerve to talk to me, as I observed him constantly shifting his body to face me in the desk next to mine. I was tempted to start keeping track of how many times I saw him open his mouth out of the corner of my eye, only to see him close it and face the board out of my peripheral vision. Finally, as we all got up at the end of the class, he was a mere two inches from my face when I stood up, with his arm extended and a big smile plastered on his face, introducing himself. Truth be told, he was definitely nice, but his obvious affection came off too strongly in a way that made me feel a little uncomfortable.

I waved my fingers at him and mustered a smile. I didn't even notice at first how quiet Edward had become as Mike stepped closer. He plopped his backpack down on his table with a bang, giving his lab partner quite a fright, making her jump slightly out of her chair. He ignored the glare she gave him and gave me another small wave as he sat down in front of me.

"Hey, Mr. Banner's not here yet," Mike observed, swinging his chair out so that he could face me from where he was sitting. "Sweet. Hey, ever heard of the five minute rule?"

I shook my head, not knowing what he was getting at. I looked at Edward, who suddenly seemed consumed by the paper full of our drawings again, his head practically buried in the desk as he scribbled feverishly away.

"Well, the five minute rule is if the teacher is still not here five minutes past the bell, then the whole class can ditch and we won't get in trouble for it."

"Really?" I looked at him skeptically.

"That's what one of the seniors told me, anyway. We've got three and a half minutes and we're out of here. You want to go down the street to the Seven Eleven or something? And get a slurpee? My treat."

"Yeah, that sounds romantic." The sarcastic statement slipped out of my mouth before I had a chance to realize I already said it. I could have sworn I heard a snort come from Edward, but when I looked over at him, he was still drawing away as though nothing had happened. When my gaze shifted back at Mike, I couldn't help but feel guilty over his face that was now slightly crestfallen. "Sorry, I was just joking." I couldn't think of a better excuse, and I cursed myself for it. "But, I don't think I'll ditch even if Mr. Banner doesn't come back. I don't want to risk getting in trouble, just in case the whole five-minute rule thing isn't legit. It's not because I don't want to go get a slurpee with you," I assured him.

That seemed to appease him and the smile returned to his face. "What about after school then? Do you have anything going on after school?"

I was suddenly very aware of everything around me at that moment. Edward's pencil stilled, and it seemed as though the entire class was listening for my response now. I couldn't have been more mortified. Was he seriously asking me out on a date? I had barely even gotten through a full conversation with him, and on the second day of school, he was asking me out? To a Seven Eleven nonetheless. I had never been on a date before, never anything remotely close. My palms were sweating. "Umm… well, my parents are picking me up today and I think we're going to go look at some furniture for my room, but maybe another—"

"What about tomorrow?" Mike interrupted, eagerly.

"Tomorrow?" I searched my brain for an excuse. Any excuse. I had a feeling that no matter what I said, he would keep pressing until he found a day I was available. I decided to leave it open ended. "Maybe. I'll have to ask my parents."

Mike nodded. He seemed satisfied. He looked at the clock again and just as I knew he was about to say we only had one minute left in the five-minute rule, Mr. Banner stormed into the room, much to the dismay of the class.

"Sorry, the copier broke this morning… I'm running late, obviously. Open your notebooks. I've got some more handouts to give you. Don't forget, tomorrow is our first lab…" The room settled into a routine of monotony pretty easily as if we had been doing this for years.

I picked up my pencil and started to copy my notes from the overhead projector. It took a few minutes to realize that Edward still had not spoken to me since class had started, or since my interaction with Mike. When I looked over, his eyes were trained on the front of the room. Either it was just my imagination, or he was refusing to look at me. I didn't understand. I was too shy to ask him what was wrong… I wasn't sure if I knew him well enough yet to know if that was okay. Maybe he was just focused on taking notes, and I didn't want to bother him if that was the case.

The period dragged on, and I was wrought with an unsettled feeling. Unsure if it was due to my impending unwanted date with Mike, or if it was a result of the cold shoulder I was experiencing from Edward, but I couldn't help but be distracted by the pestering feeling up until the bell rang. I woke from my slight daze and started to gather my things. I could already see Mike turning around to face me, and my stomach flipped unpleasant butterflies as I readied myself for whatever he would say to me.

At the same moment I saw Mike open his mouth, I felt a light touch on my arm and turned my attention to bright green eyes staring intently at me. "What class do you have next?" Edward asked.

"Algebra." I groaned at the thought.

"On the second floor?"

I nodded, slinging my backpack over my shoulder.

"I'll walk you." Edward stated with a smile.

"Okay." I was glad that whatever funk he seemed to be in was over and done with and the unsettling feeling went away as though it never existed. I was almost afraid that I already lost the only friend I had made at Forks High School.

**Present Day**

Edward held the door open for me as we entered the coffee shop. Always the gentleman. No surprise there. He would do that for anyone. That didn't mean anything. Non-date.

He didn't pick me up from my house. We met at the shop. So… non-date.

He paid for my drink. Date? Or friendly gesture. Non-date.

_Stop it, Bella, just stop it. _

I let out a small "thank you" as Edward handed me my mug. We scanned the crowded room and agreed on a small table surrounded by two arm chairs. The area was tucked away in a corner that was set off from the rest of the shop. We got there just as a couple of teenage girls got up from the table, and we managed to snag it before anyone else could.

"This looks good," Edward noted as he shrugged himself out of his leather jacket.

_Yes, it looks very good._ I couldn't help but stare at his perfect features as they were so well displayed before me, his thin white sweater outlining every perfect line of his torso. I caught several whiffs of the leather smell from his jacket, mixed with the intoxicating smell of his cologne. He still wore the same cologne he did in high school. My heart panged against my ribcage in protest against the rest of my body that was still trying to unsuccessfully forget what an effect he had over me.

Trying to distract myself, I focused on unbuttoning my long trench coat. Stuffing my gloves inside my pockets, and un-raveling the scarf from around my neck, I somehow managed to knock over the small table that stood as a platform for both of our drinks. "Shit! I did not just do that!"

Edward's laughter rang in my ears, and my face turned beet red in embarrassment as I scrambled to the nearest table with napkins and pulled out a pile that was two inches thick. I spread them out on the floor, stomping on the wet napkins with my black leather boots. The mugs were shattered to pieces and I bent down to pick the pieces up in my hand, not caring when my knees touched the wet floor, soaking my jeans in those spots.

"Hey! You're going to hurt yourself," Edward's hand gently brought me back up by my arm.

"What else is new," I replied. I glared at the expression on Edward's face, which was laced with utter amusement at the situation. "You think this is funny, don't you?"

Edward shrugged. "It's amazing how even in designer jeans and your name on best-seller lists, you're still the same old Bella Swan."

"You say that like it's a good thing."

"Isn't it, though?" Edward looked at me, confused.

I shrugged. I didn't want to elaborate on my disappointment. Edward wasn't in love with the old Bella Swan. If he still thought of me as the old Bella Swan…well, this was definitely a non-date.

I walked over to the trash can and dumped the broken pieces of ceramic inside. I told the barista about the little incident and she brought a mop over to clean up the mess I made. I ordered two more drinks to replace the ones I destroyed and started to walk over with the new drinks.

I almost had a heart attack when I turned the corner. "Woah!" I lifted the drinks in the air to avoid the collision with the person I almost ran into. I saw that it was Edward.

"Aww…you beat me to it." Edward nodded, referring to the drinks in my hands.

"Are you kidding me? I'm the one who spilled your drink. The least I could do is replace it for you."

"Well, if you insist." Edward smiled. "And the least _I_ can do is take those out of your hands, if for no other reason than to avoid another accident."

I was about to open my mouth in protest, but nodded my head in agreement instead. "Yeah, you're probably right. I need to go to the bathroom anyway to wash my hands. My hands are all sticky from the coffee."

I handed off the drinks and veered the opposite direction of where Edward was heading, into the ladies restroom. I was grateful for a minute to myself. "Stupid, stupid girl." I said under my breath. I ran the warm water and stuck my hands underneath the faucet. "Just breathe."

When I finished washing my hands and dried them off with a paper towel, I walked back to the arm chairs with as much confidence as I could muster. "Okay, where were we?" I sighed as I plopped down into the chair across from Edward, picking up my cup of coffee and welcoming the warmth it gave me as it went down my throat.

Edward chuckled. "You mean, before or after you knocked over the table?"

I rolled my eyes. "Or we can just pretend that never happened and talk about something completely different. That sounds good to me."

Edward smiled comfortingly. "That's fine. I don't think we were really talking about anything anyway."

_Oh yes we were_, I contradicted, in my head. _Old Bella, remember?_

We sat in short silence while we both searched for something to say. Edward finally broke the silence.

"Tell me about college."

Hmmm. Broad request. How do you fit four years into a light conversation? "What do you want to know exactly?"

"Everything." A smile played on his lips. He knew he was being difficult.

"Wow."

"Wow what?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's amazing that even in designer jeans and a star on the Walk of Fame that you're still the same old Edward Cullen," I teased.

He smirked, fully accepting the comment I threw at him as a response to the one he made about me earlier, but his smile receded into a thin line, something I didn't quite understand. "You still need to answer. Tell me about college. Considering the fact that I never finished… what did I miss out on?"

"Not much," I assured. I filled him in on all of the mundane details. Everything from my crappy dorms to crappy roommates to meeting Alice during the bowling class I took to get rid of my physical education requirement. He found it quite humorous that Alice insisted on buying and wearing her own bowling shoes and bowling ball, both matching in pink glitter, complete with a pink and black plaid bag, to avoid having to use the school's rented equipment from the bowling alley.

I found myself talking more than I had in years. However he managed to do that, I didn't know. But, by the end of our time together, I was thoroughly enjoying myself, not caring if this was a date or non-date anymore. It was fun to hear about Edward's experiences on set and to hear his opinions of actors and directors he's come across in his career; people who I've only dreamed about meeting were people he interacted with on a daily basis.

The only topic I distinctly avoided was my writing. For obvious reasons.

I watched Edward pull out his cell phone to check the time. "Do you have any other plans today, Bella?"

I shook my head. I couldn't ignore the disappointment I felt, and the desperate yearning for this moment to never end.

"I mentioned to my mother that I was going to see you today. She would be really upset if we didn't stop by. Would you mind?"

"Oh! Of course not! I'd love to see Esme. It's been so long."

"Oh good," Edward replied, as we both got up and started bundling up to face the bitter weather outside. "We can take my car and I'll just take you back here afterwards."

"That sounds good," I nodded as I flipped my hair over the collar of my coat.

"Oh! And I was talking to my mom before I left earlier today. She was just on the phone with one of her friends this morning, and apparently she's like obsessed with your books."

Uh-oh.

"Yeah, they have little discussion groups online and stuff. Isn't that crazy? Well, I'm sure you know all about that anyway. What I was going to say is, so my mom's friend is really into this one book… she didn't say what it was called, otherwise I probably would have remembered. But my mom remembered that you were an author and mentioned your name. Her friend was freaking out and really wants to meet you. I guess she even sent a copy of your book to my mom as a Christmas present. Mom's probably going to open it up early and read it so her friend will get off her case already. Isn't that crazy though? What a coincidence."

"Yeah." I numbly opened the door on the passenger side of Edward's car and slid in. I didn't even have to guess what book his mom would be reading. I knew.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 5

**BPOV**

The fingers of my right hand tapped nervously on the side of the passenger seat. The monotonous sound of the swishing wiper blades did nothing to calm my nerves. I was chewing the nails of my left hand, in an attempt to control any small amount of my inner hysteria. I could not bring myself to look over at Edward, but I could see from the corner of my eye, he had an amused expression on his face.

"Are you okay?"

My eyes were trained on the rain droplets that were splattered on the windshield before me, watching the spots smear down in one single wipe, over and over again. The sound was almost as loud as the sound of my heart.

"I'll take that as a _no_." Edward chuckled, as he slowed the car to stop at the red light.

"Huh?" I broke out of my daze at last, only to be hypnotized again by the deep green of his eyes. I shook my head to bring myself back to reality. "Did you say something?"

"You just seem kinda tense," Edward noted, his eyes soft as he smiled comfortingly at me.

I managed a half-smile of my own and shrugged my shoulders before turning my attention back to the road. "I just keep playing out all of these scenarios in my head… I'm nervous about who might be waiting for us back at your house."

"Oh come on, my family won't bite," Edward teased.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't hide my true apprehension, even as I turned my head away to look out the window again. Of course, my real fear was that we'd walk in some inopportune book club meeting and Edward would find out exactly what my book was about. I guess I figured he would find out eventually—I just didn't necessarily want to be there for his discovery.

More than ever I realized what an idiot I was in the first place for writing and publishing a book where he was the main character. To be honest, when I first started writing the book, I began it as sort of a therapeutic exercise—to get over this man who I was so pitifully enamored with. I didn't mean for anyone to read it except me.

But, as I continued writing, I was consumed by it and inspired by it. Pouring out my feelings on paper basically got me through the stress of being in college. When I finished it, I had over a thousand printed pages safely tucked away in the drawer of my nightstand. I expected to feel a sense of closure towards my feelings for Edward, which I did, right up until I saw his face flash up on my TV screen for the first time, not even a month later. It didn't take me long to realize that an entire homage to the beautiful Edward Cullen would do nothing to help me ignore or let go whatever I felt for him.

Still, I did feel a sense of accomplishment for doing something I never thought I could do. I completed a book. That piece of information was enough for me. I never intended anyone else to know. And then, of course, Alice found it.

**Three Years Ago- Junior Year of College**

"Alice….pick up…" I muttered into my small cell phone, listening impatiently for the obligatory rings, knowing full well that my best friend was purposely ignoring me. Correction. My ex-best friend.

I exhaled a huge gust of air in exasperation as I heard the familiar voice mail, noticing that she changed the outgoing message since the last time I called her. Yet again.

"_Hello, you've reached Alice Brandon. I can't answer the phone right now, so please leave your name and number, and I'll get right back to you. Oh yeah, and if this is Bella, I will continue to reject all of your phone calls until I'm done reading the book you never told me you were writing. Let's see….I'm on page 644 right now, so don't expect to hear from me for a couple of days. You're wasting your breath and your cell phone minutes until then. Ciao!"_

I waited for the beep, and commenced with my routine rant. "Alice! For the fifteenth time! What you did was an invasion of privacy! How dare you steal that copy from my nightstand! You of all people should know that nightstand objects are personal property that should not be taken at will! I don't go around fishing around in _your nightstand_, and take your vibrator from your drawer and _hold it hostage_! Why? Because that's not what best friends do! If you don't call me back within the next ten minutes, we are no longer friends, do you hear me? Alice, I mean it! I'm watching the clock!" I pulled the phone away from my ear before closing it shut and throwing it on my bed.

I fell backwards onto the mattress with my hands covering my face. I blindly reached for one of the pillows in front of my headboard, and grabbed both sides of it with my hands, bringing it to my face so I could give a good, loud scream. Once that was out of my system, I just continued to lie there, staring at the ceiling, numbly creating shapes out of the white spackled dots over my head.

Not even two minutes had passed before my phone rang to signal that I had a text message. Groaning, I rolled over to reach the small device and flipped it open.

"_You'll forgive me. Still not done. Stop calling :oP" _

I whimpered as I closed my phone again. I silently admitted defeat, but not before deciding I might as well distract myself by doing something I was never usually in the mood to do. In a way, I also wanted to punish Alice, because I knew she would be devastated if she knew I did this without her. I went shopping.

I grabbed the keys to my truck and my wallet before heading out the door. It wasn't far to the mall, but I almost wished it was, so more time would pass while I waited for Alice to inevitably call me back. I wandered in and out of store after store, probably scaring away most of the sales associates with the glazed-over look on my face.

There wasn't anything in particular that I wanted to buy, but the vindictive part of me made sure I splurged on something, just so I could throw it in Alice's face that I went on a shopping excursion to spite her. I ended up buying a couple of new shirts and shorts without having to dip too far into my spending account, which I was grateful for.

As I circled around the mall even further, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the neon sign that said "Bookstore" in bright red letters. I hurried towards the entrance, but my feet wouldn't move fast enough. I finally reached my destination after passing two cell phone kiosks, the food court, and Wally's Shoe Emporium. I felt an immense weight lifted off of my shoulders as soon as I was surrounded by the tall bookshelves and hundreds of books. The smell of fresh ink and paper always calmed me. I took my time, walking up and down each and every aisle, perusing titles for anything that sounded interesting or familiar.

I soon had a hefty stack of promising books under my arm, and started on a mission to find a place to sit down, so I could start reading.

Something stopped me on my way to the empty chair I spotted across the store, however. The green penetrating eyes I would know from anywhere.

I walked slowly in a daze, feeling a pull on my body that I couldn't escape from if I tried. Edward's face was staring back at me with his crooked smile, as though beckoning to me, just like he did in so many of my dreams I spent in his arms. I reached my free hand out to touch him, wishing that he was truly there with me, and not in the form of a magazine cover.

I inhaled a much needed breath, and I stepped closer to the rack of magazines, so close that my nose was nearly touching Edward's glossy, perfect face. My hand was trembling slightly, as I traced my thumb lightly over his eyebrows, and down to his high cheekbones. I held up the rest of my fingers and swept over his twinkling eyes, almost foolishly willing them to see mine. I achingly dragged them down and traced the outlines of his chiseled jaw line, and up slightly to his lips, lightly pink and conveying a look of softness, even through his smirk. So beautiful. So perfect. He was so perfect.

The sadness in my heart was heavy and unbearable. I wrote my book to get rid of him, and here he was again. Back in my life. And he didn't even know it.

Here was the reason why I hadn't wanted Alice to read my book. Why I could never let her read it. I wasn't sure exactly what Alice was going to say once she had finished it, but I knew all of the options would only bring everything I felt for Edward back to the surface. I was supposed to forget him, just like any girl is supposed to move on from her first crush. But just like I couldn't control how Alice stole my book from under my nose, I couldn't control the way the universe was throwing Edward back into my world.

"Bella."

I looked up, not realizing my mind had gone elsewhere. "Oh, hey, Jacob." My cheeks flushed when I realized that I had remnants of tears in my eyes and hastily wiped them away.

Jacob's expression turned quickly from excited to see me to one of concern. "Are you okay?" He gently reached up and touched my shoulder.

I nodded, accepting his friendly gesture. "Oh sure—it's just—allergies," I lied.

Jacob's eyebrows furrowed slightly as though he didn't believe me, but he must have thought it better to shrug it off, because he responded with a nod and said, "Yeah, the dust can get pretty crazy this time of the year."

"Mmhmm…." I smiled to assure him that there was really nothing wrong. "Hey, those look like textbooks. Isn't it a little late in the semester to be buying that stuff?" I said, as I teased him by pointing my finger towards the stack of the large hardbound books he held in front of him.

Jacob shrugged and smiled sheepishly, his bright white teeth gleaming against the tan of his skin. "Better late, than never, I say." He laughed. "At least I'm buying them _before_ midterms, instead of after."

"Right, like last year?" I reminded him with a smile.

"Exactly! See, I'm improving?" Jacob raised his eyebrows, expectantly.

"Yup. You're no longer a complete slacker. Now, you're just kinda lazy." I laughed.

Jacob chuckled and smiled brightly at me before turning his attention to my books. "Woah. And it looks like you're just about ready to buy out the entire store! Watcha got there?"

I rolled my eyes as I held out my display of paperbacks and small leather-bound books. "Nothing too interesting. I just thought I'd read for awhile to kill some time."

"Well those should keep you occupied until graduation."

I responded to Jacob's teasing with a smile.

In a split second, however, his expression sobered, and he extended his free arm to scratch the back of his head with his hand as he looked sideways at me. "So, what are you up to tonight, you know, besides reading 10 books at a time?" His eyes brightened hopefully, waiting for my answer.

As clueless as I was when it came to boys, even I wasn't oblivious to Jacob's obvious affection for me. Everything about him told me that I should have felt the same way, but I didn't. I couldn't force it. And it was complicated.

Still, I really liked Jacob, and I knew I didn't want to hurt his feelings altogether. "Aside from reading 10 books at a time…" I smiled lightly. "Well, I'm actually waiting for Alice to call me." This wasn't a complete lie, but I couldn't very well tell him that my plans consisted of me waiting around by the phone like a veal for the next two or three days until Alice finished the stupid book I wrote about a man I've been hopelessly in love with for years.

Disappointment faltered the smile on Jacob's face slightly. "Alright…well, if you end up not doing anything with Alice, and those books aren't enough entertainment for you—you know who won't be studying for his midterms," Jacob hinted.

I laughed. "I'll keep that in mind, Jake. It was good to run into you, though." I waved goodbye as he walked past me in the opposite direction, catching him turning around to wink at me before entering the check out line.

Despite the fact that I wasn't interested in Jacob romantically, I was grateful that I ran into him. In a much lighter mood, I found my way to the chair that was still empty and waiting for me at the end of the store and lost myself in my big stack of books until closing time, periodically checking my cell phone to see if I had any pending messages from Alice.

When I got home, I lost patience again and dialed Alice's number as I set my new purchases down on my kitchen table.

_**Ring…ring…ring…**__ "Hello. You've reached Alice Brandon. Please leave a message after the beep…and Bella…. 200 pages to go!" _**Beep.**

"Hi, Alice. In case you are at all wondering whether or not I am still mad at you, I just thought I would let you know that I just spend the last four hours _at the mall_. That's right, Alice. I was _shopping_. I was shopping without you. And let me tell you….it felt _good_." I hung up the phone and sauntered to my bedroom to change into an old t-shirt and cropped sweatpants for bed. My phone was still glued to my hand when I made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth, hoping Alice would surprise me with a phone call at any moment.

I had the urge to stay up all night, not wanting to miss Alice's call, but my body protested. I was too tired.

I yawned as I crawled into bed, plugging my phone into its charger and setting it on my nightstand before turning the lights off.

I sighed deeply, and didn't recall falling asleep, but I must have, because the next thing I knew, someone was banging on my front door.

I sat straight up in my bed, my hand instinctively clutching the fabric of my shirt over my chest to keep my rapidly beating heart from pounding out of my ribcage completely. I was in a panic, looking over at the clock, wondering if I overslept.

3:00 am.

It was still dark outside.

"Ugh…." I groggily set my feet down on the floor and stretched my arms up. The banging noise on the door wasn't ceasing. "Coming!"

Only one person would be at my house at this ungodly hour, of course.

I looked through the peephole anyway, to prepare myself for the worst. Alice's bulging head was staring back at me, all 1,000 plus pages of my secret novel tucked neatly under one arm. With the other, she was carrying a carton of what looked like 2 coffee drinks from Starbucks, complete with cardboard sleeves and plastic tops. _Well, if she thinks she can just win me over with a shot of espresso, she's got another thing coming. _

She seemed to know I was looking at her because she leaned forward, so that one eye was particularly bulbous and large as it looked back at me, and her mouth was formed into a thin smile that stretched into an outline of a half circle. "Bella! Open up!" Her high-pitched voice sang gracefully through the door. It irked me that someone could sound like that at 3:00 in the morning.

I took a deep breath to focus myself. I had a lot to say to this little woman. I swung open the door. "Alice Brandon. If you think for one moment that you can just walk right in--"

Alice walked right past me and plopped herself down on the couch of my living room. "Did you want the white chocolate mocha with skim or the hazelnut latte?"

My jaw dropped. _She completely ignored me!_ "Hey! In case you didn't get the 16 messages I left on your voice mail, we're not friends anymore!"

Alice waved with a small motion of her hand. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we just skip to the part where all is forgiven, and get to the part where we discuss how we're going to get your book published? Here, the hazelnut's a bit stronger. Should wake you up."

My mouth was still open in shock as she placed the cup of coffee securely in my hand. I stood there in silence as I processed the situation. Well, she was right. I was bound to forgive her—I was just hoping I could yell at her for an hour or two while she groveled at my feet, begging for forgiveness. But knowing Alice, she'd just turn it around and I'd end up being the one asking her to forgive me for not confiding in her about the book I was writing. "Actually, can I have the mocha?"

Alice smiled in triumph as she switched the cups in my hand. "You sure can, lady." She patted the empty spot beside her on the couch and I sat down, however reluctant I was to give in so quickly.

"So I take it you finished reading it, then?"

"Mmmhmm." Alice nodded enthusiastically, taking a long sip of her coffee.

"And you couldn't have just called me on the phone?"

"Uh-uh." Alice shook her head with just as much enthusiasm.

"You really thought it was necessary to scare the shit out of me at 3 AM to have this conversation?"

"Mmmhmm." Another nod.

I sighed. "Alright." I leaned my head back against the sofa, ready for whatever Alice had coming for me. "Go."

Alice squealed. "Bella! I should shoot you right now for keeping this from me. I mean, I knew it was going to be good, but holy shit! I couldn't put it down! You seriously have something here, and I'm not just saying this as your best friend. Bella, I want to help you. You totally need to get this thing published."

My eyes were shut tight, as though closing them would make her stop talking. "No."

"No?"

"No!" I sat up from my slouch and looked determinedly at her. "I'm glad you liked it, Alice, I really am. But that book was something I wrote for—well—I didn't mean for anyone else to see it."

"Well that much is obvious," Alice relented. "Considering you hid it in your nightstand, and didn't even mention a word of it to me. But, Bella, if you're worried that it's not good enough, you really shouldn't be—"

"No, it's not that. I mean, I guess that's part of it. But the main reason isn't that…" I shook my head, interrupting her. I couldn't explain it to her. Even if she was my best friend, I didn't know if she would understand. It was so pathetic. I buried my face in my hands, willing away the tears that were threatening to spill out of my eyes.

I heard the apprehension in Alice's voice as she spoke again, much softer. "The story is about you, isn't it?"

I felt too weak to lift my head at that point, but I nodded my head, and knew Alice understood when I felt her small hand draw comforting circles on my back. The dam broke, and soon enough, my arms were soaked in my own salty tears.

"God... So this Edward guy is real?"

I nodded again, my hands still covering my face, my elbows on my knees.

"Wow." She was quiet for a moment. "Is he really as hot as you described him?"

I managed a small chuckle for the first time, as I searched through the stacks of magazines on my coffee table. I found the magazine I was looking for and flipped a few pages in. "Here."

"You're shitting me." Alice's eyes were as wide as saucers. "And here, I thought you were writing about a different Edward Cullen. I even said to myself, 'Oh, weird, they have the same name. Oh weird, they kinda look alike. It can't be the same guy, because, surely Bella would have told me if she went to school with a fucking movie star!'"

I cringed.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about him?" Alice asked.

I wanted to blow off her question, but her face showed a genuine look of concern that I couldn't ignore. "Because I'm completely and utterly in love with him. And in case you didn't pay attention to the book you just read, I'm pathetically so. And unlike the character that is based on me in that book, I didn't get the guy."

"Did you ever tell him how you felt?"

I shook my head. "I was too afraid. We were friends. I didn't want to ruin what we had."

"Uh-huh. Yeah, that makes sense," Alice remarked, sarcastically. "So instead, you spend the next three years of your life daydreaming and living in this fantasy world to protect yourself from ever finding someone who could actually love you the way you deserve to be loved."

I didn't have an adequate response to that. It was true.

"You're going to publish this book."

I looked at Alice, incredulously. "What? No, I can't. I told you. If I get this book published…what if he finds out?"

"Exactly." Alice smiled confidently. "Bella, in all of the time I've known you, since the first day of college when we were put in the same freshman orientation group, I have never seen you even remotely interested in anyone romantically. You've rejected so many guys, I've had people ask me if you were a lesbian."

My eyes widened in surprise.

"It's true," she responded, noticing my expression. "But, Bella. If the words on these pages share even an inkling of what you feel for Edward…he needs to know." She looked at me with a new determination that frightened me. "Either you get this book published, or I'm going to do what it takes to tell him myself."

"You wouldn't…" I called Alice's bluff, but I knew full well that she was certainly capable of hunting him down in the middle stall of a men's bathroom in Cambodia, if that's where he was.

"Think of it this way," Alice reasoned, trying to calm my nerves. "We'll just leave it up to fate. If we submit this book to all of the agencies out there, and every one of them rejects our response, then you're off the hook. Even if it gets published, the chances are slim that he'd even come across it, aren't they?"

I nodded.

"Then, you're off the hook." Alice paused before continuing. "But if this book turns out to be the success that I think it's going to be… Edward will find out, and we'll know that fate put you two together." She smiled. "So, between you and me, I think that really is the best option."

I sighed. "You've got a point…" I admitted. "At least let me change his name, though."

Alice shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me." Her eyes brightened with hope. "So does that mean you're going to do it?"

I scrunched up my face in thought. "I don't know, Alice. I just don't know if I'm cut out to be a writer."

"Bella." Alice placed both hands on my shoulders to put me in place, giving me no excuse to turn away. "What else can you see yourself doing?"

I pondered it for a moment before I answered. "Nothing. There's nothing else I want to do."

She smiled and placed one hand on my cheek. "That's my girl."

I watched her run upstairs, and a moment later she descended back down with my laptop. "Okay, I found some websites that give pretty good advice on this sort of thing, so I think that's a good place to start."

I smiled as I watched Alice work feverishly on outlines for cover letters and queries that I was supposed to submit to different agencies. As hard as it was for me to come to terms with the possibility that someday Edward would discover all of these buried feelings I had for him, excitement in me began to build and overshadow the fear of him finding out. My dream of being a writer seemed more tangible than I ever knew possible. And I guess, in a way, I had Edward to thank for that.

"Hey, you know what would be weird?" Alice interrupted my train of thought, looking up at me from the computer.

"What?" I asked, taking another sip of my coffee.

"What if your book became so popular that they wanted to turn it into a movie, and cast Edward as the lead role? Ha! That would be hilarious!"

Hilarious, it most certainly would be not. At least for me, that prospect was so far and distant into the future, that it didn't even seem like a possibility I had to worry about. I rolled my eyes at Alice. "Yeah. Like it would ever come to that."

Alice shrugged.

I closed my eyes in an attempt to gain some of the sleep I missed out on, only to hear Alice shout out not a moment later.

"Hey!"

"What?" I frowned, my eyes adjusting to the light as I looked around me. Alice was now standing next to my kitchen table, pointing to the unmarked bags. She was unmistakably pouting.

"Did you go shopping without me?!"

Apparently, Alice didn't hear the last message I left on her voice mail.

**Present Day**

"Alright, we're here!" Edward parked the car on the driveway before pulling back the parking break and opening his door.

I unbuckled my seat belt and fumbled with the handle to the door beside me. "Great."

Edward met me outside of my door and held out a hand to help me out. I was too nervous to truly appreciate the gesture, despite the expected tingling of my hand when he grabbed it to pull me up.

"Thanks," I muttered.

Edward laughed. "Man. Are you really that freaked out over meeting a few fans? I'd hate to take you on the red carpet with me."

I frowned. I knew he didn't mean anything by it, but I couldn't help my reaction. _The red carpet. Ha. Me, Edward's date on the red carpet..._ I felt a pang in my chest as the realization set in of how ridiculous that sounded. What hurt the most was how much I wished it didn't sound crazy at all.

I turned my head towards Edward in time to see the changed expression on his face. "Sorry, did I upset you?"

I overcompensated by waving my hand in the air and plastered on a fake smile. "No, of course not. I'm just kind of out of it right now. I'm being weird." As if that was any explanation.

Edward seemed to accept it, though. The smile returned to his face as he hopped up the steps to the front entryway of his large house. He opened the door and stepped aside to let me through.

I trudged past him, onto the stone floors of the entryway, letting a rush of familiar smells and memories attack me at once.

"Mom?" Edward's voice surprised me. He was much closer than I realized, and soon, I felt his hand press gently against the small of my back as he led me further inside, closing the door behind him.

"In here!" Esme's voice called faintly from somewhere in the house.

"I think she's in the kitchen," Edward informed me.

I slowly unbuttoned my trench coat as we made our way past the well-decorated living room, and a long hallway that led to the kitchen. I hadn't realized that I had been holding my breath the entire time, until it all came out in one big "whoosh" as I took in the sight before me.

To my relief, Esme was alone. It looked like she was making a dessert of some kind. Silver pans and ingredients sprawled across the large island in the center of the expansive kitchen.

"Bella!" Esme came towards me with her arms open wide. I smiled as she embraced me, flattered that she had remembered me after all these years. "It's so good to see you!"

"It's so good to see you, too, Esme," I responded, returning her hug. But as her arms were still wrapped around me, I took a quick glance at the room again, and saw something that made my heart stop in blind panic.

Plain as day, right next to the carton of eggs and the clean metal whisk that lay stationary on the far kitchen counter, was the hard-bound book with a light blue cover that I recognized immediately.

_Fantastic._

I managed to recover from my look of shock and horror before I pulled back, averting my eyes from the counter to make sure I wouldn't draw attention to it. "So, how are you? It's been such a long time."

Esme gave me a warm smile. "I'm wonderful. What more could a mother want than having her two full-grown sons home for the holidays? Other than help with the dishes." She winked at me.

Edward interrupted our conversation. "Mom, stop pretending that Emmett and I didn't just help you scour this entire kitchen with a toothbrush and bucket of soapy water yesterday! And DON'T pretend that you didn't have anything to do with it, Mrs. I'll Throw a Spoonful of Cranberry Sauce at my Own Son!" His finger was pointed at his mother now, his face revealing a twinkle in his eyes behind the stern expression.

I grinned when a small blush appeared on Esme's cheeks and I raised my eyebrows at Edward. "Was that the real reason I saw you at the store the other day?"

Edward shrugged his shoulders, but a playful smirk lingered on his lips. He leaned back against the sink, popping chocolate chips in his mouth from a bag he grabbed next to the mixing bowl. "I almost wish I could say it was. No, my dad is just that much of a baby." He spoke the last sentence louder, and I saw that Carlisle had entered the room behind me.

"Who's a baby?" Carlisle asked. He garnered confusion on his face, looking around. Esme and Emmett were both hiding smiles, and even I was suppressing a giggle so I wouldn't give them away. "Bella!" My heart foolishly skipped a beat when Carlisle's crinkly smile reminded me so much of Edward's version. He hugged me tightly with one arm. His other arm was reaching into the bag of chocolate chips in Edward's hand. "It's good to see you. Did you have a good Thanksgiving?"

"Yes, I had a great Thanksgiving. My stomach's _still_ full, actually."

"Edward tells me that you beat him off with a stick to get to that last can of cranberry sauce." Carlisle grinned, his mouth partially full of chocolate chips.

"Karate chopped him in the neck, actually," I joked. I mistakenly let my eyes fall on Edward, who took that moment to glance at me, his mouth turning into the crooked smile he was known for. My breath hitched. I groaned internally, hoping no one else would notice the heat rising to my cheeks.

"Well, as disappointed as I was that Edward came home empty-handed, I'm happy to know that he was gentleman enough not to guilt you into handing it over. I know how persuasive my son can be." Carlisle reached over and unashamedly tousled Edward's hair where he was standing. Their interaction tugged at something within me. I saw a glimpse of young Edward for a split second as he gave a sheepish smile in my direction, bringing one hand up to tame the tangled mess his hair had become. I thought it was adorable the way his hair was strewn about in all directions.

"Edward's always a gentleman. That much hasn't changed since high school." I assured Carlisle. "Besides, there's no way I would have given him that can, no matter how persuasive Edward can be. My dad has a gun," I reminded him.

Carlisle chuckled.

Esme's silence up until this point triggered panic in the back of my mind. I couldn't ignore the change in her expression now as I dared myself to look at her. I willed myself to turn my head, and there I saw it. The unmistakably welcome smile and sparkling eyes turned into something completely different now. She was staring right at me with a peculiar look on her face. A look of examination. Needless to say, I felt uncomfortable.

"Honey—" Carlisle addressed Esme. She broke her gaze from mine, much to my relief, and turned her attention to her husband. "Did you tell Bella what you told me about Eileen and the book club?"

"Oh, yes." The sparkle returned to Esme's eyes as she was brought back into the conversation. "I was talking to my friend Eileen on the phone just this morning, Bella, and you know that she is just enthralled with your books.

I was holding my breath, waiting for her to get to the part where she would tell her son how obsessed and crazy I was. I was still holding onto an inkling of hope that she would just stop talking. Another part of me was wondering if there was a chance she somehow might be unaware that my book was about Edward.

"Anyway, she runs this book club, and the next book on the list happens to be _Angel at Dusk,_ which she tells me is your big best-seller—am I right, Bella?" If Esme was playing games with me, she certainly wasn't letting on.

I gulped. "Um. I suppose." I let out a nervous giggle.

"So, as I was talking to her today, she mentions your name as the author of the book, I tell her about how you went to school with Edward, she just about bursts my eardrum through the telephone because she's screaming so loud—" She paused to pour the mixed batter into designated pans. "She wanted to come over, of course, when I told her you might be stopping by, but lucky for you she had a dentist appointment she couldn't get out of." At that moment she looked up quickly and it seemed like she winked at me. My own eyes blinked before I could register the action. I glanced at Edward and Carlisle, but neither of them seemed to notice the gesture. They were both too busy burying their hands in the bag of chocolate chips.

"Well, that's too bad." I felt free to say it, knowing that I could afford to be polite without worrying about random strangers coming over to ask me where I got my inspiration for my book, when he was standing less than three feet away from me.

"I have to admit, though. Now that Eileen knows about my connection to you, don't be surprised if you get phone calls from a middle-aged woman asking for your attendance at our next meeting. Then you'll know she went through my palm pilot," she joked. "She did manage to bring the book over this morning, as an early Christmas present. She demanded that I start it as soon as possible, so that's my goal for today, as soon as I make all of these cookies and brownies for the community bake sale."

"You haven't started it yet?" I crossed my toes and my fingers behind my back.

"No," she answered, but she gave me a meaningful look as she looked up at me again. "But I've heard a lot about it."

I shot a nervous look at Edward and Carlisle.

Edward gave me a sympathetic smile before turning to his mother. "Mom, Bella didn't come over just to have you talk about how all of your friends are obsessed with her."

Esme laughed, good-naturedly. "Sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to embarrass you. Certainly, I didn't scare you from coming back, did I? Because you're welcome at our home anytime."

"Oh, not at all." I smiled to assure her. "I would love to speak at the book club, actually. It's fun having an outlet to talk about my work."

"That's surprising," Edward mused. "Considering you don't even want your dear old pal Edward to read your books."

Esme's eyes narrowed upon me. I bit my lip nervously.

"Well, I hear they _are_ on the girly side," Esme said playfully, much to my relief.

"That's what Bella said." Edward laughed.

"Well, we don't need to be taking all of your time, Bella. I'm sure you have better things to do than hang out with us old folks," Carlisle joked.

Edward rolled his eyes. "You're right, dad. Bella, let's get away from these old fogies, shall we?"

I smiled. "I'm fine with whatever. The old fogies don't bother me."

"Alright," Edward said through his chuckling. "We can go bug Emmett. I think he's upstairs. You remember Emmett, don't you?"

"Of course. Is he still as big as a house?"

"Yeah. Bigger, in fact," said Edward.

We sauntered into the hallway together, but as we turned the corner, the look that Esme was giving me from the middle of the kitchen did not escape me. Her face stretched into an amused smile, and there was a mischievous gleam in her eye. As I followed Edward up the stairs, I looked back as Esme pulled the pale blue book from the counter and mouthed the words slowly and clearly for me, pointing to the cover:

"I read it."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Not mine.

CHAPTER 6

**BPOV**

She read it.

My face was still frozen in shock, but my body was on auto-pilot, slowly climbing up the stairs behind Edward. Esme's figure disappeared out of my line of sight as I ascended, but I couldn't seem to form the coherent thoughts required to tell my head to turn forward.

So, Esme was playing a game with me. But for what purpose?

My mind stewed on that question for the reminder of my visit with Edward's family. I was barely present when Edward and I went to chat with Emmett.

As we sauntered down the hallway, I could hear loud rhythmic clicking noises and the faint sound of music.

"Hey Em. What's going on?" Edward knocked softly on the open door outside of the room Emmett was occupying.

Emmett was sitting on a folding chair in front of a large TV with two drumsticks in his hands. He was banging away on something that looked like a small plastic drum-kit. His back was to us, but the straining muscles of his large back indicated he was deep in concentration. Apparently six years served to make his body even bigger than humanly possible.

Edward snorted. "You never bother Emmett when he's playing Rock Band," he warned me with a whisper. "Emmett," he called. "Emmett."

"Hold on." Emmett pounded away. I couldn't help but find myself slightly hypnotized by the bright colored buttons on the screen.

Edward must have noticed because he nudged me playfully. "You want to play next?"

I blushed, shrugging my shoulders. "I don't know how."

"It's not that hard. If Emmett can do it…" he trailed off with a smirk.

"Hey!" Emmett retorted, his eyes leaving the screen for the first time. He looked back at me with surprise. "Oh. Sorry, I didn't realize Edward had company." He paused his game and stood up to greet me. "I'm Emmett." He extended his hand.

I smiled awkwardly. "Umm…"

Emmett furrowed his brow at me and I could see the recognition start to form. "Wait…Bella?" He held up his hand to indicate a much smaller person from his memory.

I nodded.

"Wow. You've grown up." Emmett instinctively looked me up and down for a split second, disbelief flickering on his face. My cheeks were burning as I looked around the room uncomfortably.

Edward shot Emmett a disapproving look.

Emmett quickly recovered and gave me a look of apology, which I accepted with a sheepish smile. "You look great, Bella. What have you been up to?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Um…well, I'm a writer—"

"Oh, that's right! Yeah, Edward mentioned something about that. Mom's been reading your book for the past few days; it's like she can't put it down—"

"Wait. Mom was just saying how she hadn't even started reading her books yet," Edward interrupted.

Emmett's eyes widened as he shifted his gaze between Edward and me. Wait. Did he know too? "Um…oh yeah. That's right. I must have been thinking about another book. But hey, Bella. So, you're writing. That's great!" He patted a large hand on the side of my arm.

I tried to smile, but I had a feeling it looked more like a grimace. "Yeah," I said softly. "What are you up to these days?"

Emmett ran his fingers through his thick mane of dark curly hair. Somehow, it didn't carry the same effect as when Edward did it. "I'm kinda all over the place. I've been in Seattle, mostly, working as a personal trainer. Every now and then, I work for my little brother in LA, trying to get him into shape if a role calls for it." He punched Edward playfully in the shoulder. "You think he got his Superman physique all by himself? That's three hours a day of Emmett boot camp, my friend. It took a lot of work to get him wearing that red, blue, and yellow just right for the big screen."

I laughed. "Maybe you should have asked them if you could wear your Superman pajamas. You wouldn't have had to work out so much to fill those out."

It was Edward's turn to blush. "Oh man, don't remind me. I can't believe you were willing to be seen with me wearing that thing. What was I thinking?" He shook his head. "I'm surprised you didn't stop being my friend right then."

I smiled comfortingly. "I thought it was cute."

"Did you?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Did you?" Emmett mocked playfully. He rolled his eyes, picking up a plastic guitar game controller from the floor and handed it to Edward. "You guys wanna play or what? Bella you take the drums, Edward take the guitar. I'll sing."

Edward cringed. "You're going to sing?"

Emmett seemed to take offense to that. "Yes! I'm an incredible singer."

"Says, who? Mom?" Edward muttered under his breath.

I stifled a giggle.

I set myself in front of the drum-set, and couldn't help but admit that I was a little nervous. "Um…what do I do?"

Emmett pointed to the screen with his microphone. "Just follow the colors and hit the drum when you see the buttons cross that line on the screen," he instructed. "See how each of the pads are a different color?" he asked, pointing to the drum set now.

I nodded. I grasped the drumsticks tightly in my hands.

"Yeah, you'll get the hang of it. Everyone sucks when they first start out."

I glanced over at Edward who looked a little silly with the underwhelming size of the guitar strapped around his neck. It was an image of a grown-man playing pretend, and with Edward, the image was quite humorous. To me, it was absolutely charming though. He couldn't have looked more attractive if he had a real guitar in his hands.

"You're really good at this aren't you?" I asked.

He smirked. "I'm alright."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Just don't make fun of me when I screw up, okay?"

He laughed. "Of course I'm not going to make fun of you. I wouldn't do that."

"Are we ready?" Emmett asked, his microphone poised in hand.

We nodded.

I watched as Emmett picked a song I didn't recognize on the screen with his controller. My setting was on "easy" of course. Edward chose the "hard" setting, but I had a feeling that he probably just didn't want me to make a big deal out of him playing on "expert."

The song was starting and my eyes were squinting up at the screen, frantically trying to make sense of the rushing images.

"Oh, shit—what—" I was already off to a bad start. My sticks were waving up in the air in uncoordinated karate-chop-like patterns.

Edward burst into laughter. "You're doing fine. Just keep following the colors."

My face was screwed up in concentration. A noise emitted from within me that had Edward near hysterics.

"Did you just growl, Bella? What was that?" Emmett asked.

I ignored them, my eyes staring intently at the screen.

"Uh oh," Edward muttered. "I think we just created a Rock Band monster."

Thirty minutes later and I was truly enjoying myself. I was still horrible, but it didn't even matter. Even though Edward was amazing at this game, just as I expected, it helped that Emmett's singing voice was horrendous. I was able to let go of my worries for at least a little while, and I was extremely grateful for that. I cheerfully said goodbye to Emmett, who wrapped me in a bone crushing bear hug before he let me out of the room.

As soon as I stepped out into the hallway however, everything came rushing back. Esme. She was still downstairs.

I took a deep breath as we descended. I was behind Edward, and was tempted to think of him as a shield as I readied myself for potential battle.

Esme's poker face was still on as we made our way back through the kitchen.

"I think I'm going to take Bella back now, Mom," Edward informed his mother. He

pointed to a batch of chocolate chip cookies cooling off on top of the counter by the stove. "Can I have one of those?"

"Yes," Esme absent-mindedly answered before looking up at me.

I gulped with apprehension oozing out of me.

She smiled. I tried to do the same. It looked like she was going to laugh. "Bella!" she exclaimed, opening her arms towards me. "I am so glad that you let Edward drag you over here. It was so great to see you." She embraced me in a tight hug, but it was hardly as physically harmful as Emmett's had been. She pulled back so her face was only inches from mine. "I'll call you," she said meaningfully. She was still smiling, but there was an air of intensity surrounding her eyes that I knew was meant for only me to see. My mind replayed every word and gesture, trying to figure out what she would do with my secret. I sighed. I guess I'd have to wait for her phone call.

I nodded. "It was good to see you too, Esme." And I meant it. I hoped she knew.

She patted my cheek lightly with one hand before she pulled back completely. "I made an extra batch of cookies for you to take home with you. Please take them." She handed me a paper plate full of at least a dozen chocolate chip cookies sheathed in saran wrap.

"Thank you." I accepted the gift and held the plate to my body with both hands.

I said my goodbyes as we approached the doorway. I remembered waving to Carlisle who had appeared from inside the garage, putting her arm around Esme as they escorted us out. I remembered numbly walking in front of Edward as he ushered me outside.

"I'm really sorry about that, Bella." Edward closed the door behind us as we walked back out to his car. "My mom begged me for your phone number before I went to meet you today. I hope it wasn't presumptuous of me to give it to her."

I managed a small smile as I looked back at Edward, who was now trotting past me to the passenger side of his dad's expensive-looking Mercedes to open the door for me. "Oh, not at all," I said.

I crawled inside and let Edward shut the door for me. I fumbled with the seatbelt as he came inside the car from the driver's side. I couldn't help but relax a little when Edward gave me his signature crooked smile as he watched me struggle.

"Here."

He reached over and took the buckle out of my hands. My hands shrank away instinctively upon his touch. Oh my god, he smelled so good. I took the deepest breath I could muster. His body warmth radiated against my own, which now seemed even more comforting against the cool of the winter air. His hot breath was coming out in clouds of steam and I felt it all too well on my neck and my face at the opportune moments where my skin was exposed enough to feel it. I was rigid beneath him, willing myself not to combust as he reached across my body, occasionally grazing my shoulder, my arms, the tips of my breasts through my sweater and my thin cotton bra…

"Oh, sorry." Edward blushed when he accidentally brushed up against my breasts with his fingers. The soft touch left my skin on fire. He pulled back as though his fingers had been scorched with the contact.

I was too dazed to register what happened. "What?"

"I…um…" he trailed off, obviously not knowing quite how to paraphrase what he'd done.

I managed to wave my hand. "Oh, it's okay." There. That was casual enough, right?

He leaned back when I was buckled in and started the engine to back out of the driveway. His cell phone started ringing as soon as we were on the road.

"Not answering that," he muttered, shoving the phone back into his pocket after checking the caller ID.

"Who is it?" I said the words before I realized it, and I smacked myself in the head mentally for being so nosy. "Sorry, you don't have to tell me."

Edward smiled. "No, I don't mind. It was my publicist. I'll just call her back later, probably something about my meeting tomorrow. Oh—hey! My publicist is Jessica! You remember Jessica, don't you?"

"Oh my gosh," I said, shocked. "Yeah, of course, I remember her. That's right. I heard she was out in LA. Crazy. I didn't know you still kept in touch with her." The pang of jealousy I felt couldn't be ignored. "You'll have to tell her I say 'hi'."

"I will," he assured. He paused, seeming to think of something. "Are you ever in LA?"

I glanced up at him. "Every now and then, I guess. I'm kind of all over, what with book signings and whatnot."

Edward looked contemplative.

"Why?" The curiosity got the better of me.

Edward was silent, and the silence felt excruciatingly long before he answered. "No reason."

Ugh. If only I could read his mind at that moment. I let the silence pass along with his vague answer and watched the wet streets and pavement whiz by my window. Could we just drive along forever so I wouldn't have to say goodbye to Edward? The knowledge of our parting was starting to spread like a disease in my aching chest.

I sighed. What I wouldn't give to live back in the time of my life when this was all so much easier to understand.

_**9 Years Ago- Homecoming Week**_

"It's Pajama Day, Bella. Why aren't you in your pajamas?"

I glanced up from my desk and almost burst into laughter. "Because I didn't want to end up looking like that," I teased, pointing at Edward's getup.

Edward stood in front of our shared table-desk with a proud grin stretching from ear to ear. He displayed a bright blue t-shirt with the Superman logo emblazoned in red and yellow stretched across his torso and ending just underneath his bellybutton. It was clearly a few sizes two small and if he wasn't so scrawny, I might have blushed from the hint of a six-pack he showed beneath his tight shirt. Suddenly, I wasn't so surprised that he was going out for track and baseball this year. His blue fleece pants hung low on his hips, but didn't quite stretch to his ankles. Red converse high-top sneakers adorned his feet, but the most amusing aspect of his outlandish outfit was the small red cotton cape hanging by a tie around his neck.

I giggled. "You wear those to bed every night, Edward? They look a little snug."

Edward shrugged, the smile never leaving his face as he plopped down next to me. He hiked up his pant legs when he sat down, so even more of his calves were exposed. "Well I don't wear them anymore," he admitted. "But come on! These are awesome!"

I shook my head with laughter.

"Bella, look into my eyes and tell me how cool I look."

I burst into silent chuckles at the earnest expression on his face, and the paradox it presented against the bright primary colors of his costume. "No," I whispered, noting the start of class by writing the date at the top of my Science notebook before turning my attention back to Edward.

"Why not?" he whispered back.

"Because I am not going to lie to you," I said, meeting his gaze with a matter-of-fact smile.

Something seemed to resonate in Edward with my response, because he smiled back with a look that was half smug, and half something I couldn't quite interpret. "Fair enough," he said, dramatically throwing his cape over the back of his chair before turning his attention from me to the overhead projector where he began taking notes.

As I looked over the class I realized it was filled with bright colored flannels and animal slippers. My weak attempt at showing school spirit today consisted of an oversized grey college sweatshirt my dad handed down to me and navy blue flannel drawstring pants. I guess I didn't get the memo that "Pajama Day" was the teenage girl's opportunity to violate the school's dress code with spaghetti strap tank tops and thin shorts or pajama pants that left little to the imagination. Obviously my female classmates brought a separate change of clothes to school, because I could not quite imagine them bearing the cold and rainy Washington weather so scantily clad.

I turned my attention to Mr. Banner at the front of the room, but it wasn't long before I felt the familiar jab of Edward's pencil on my arm. I reflexively turned my head to see that Edward was purposefully looking straight ahead, yet his pencil adamantly tapped on the desk, and looked down to see a piece of loose-leaf notebook paper with Edward's recognizable scrawl across the top of the page. I inconspicuously slid it over to my side so I could read his writing more easily.

_I can't believe you don't think I look awesome._

I clapped my hand to my mouth to stifle my laughter, pointedly rolling my eyes at Edward once I knew he was looking in my direction. His eyes crinkled up, apparently appreciating that I thought his note was funny, but he raised his eyebrows with an expectant glance. He was waiting for me to write him back.

I scribbled something down and passed the paper back to him underneath the table. He intercepted it without glancing down or at me once. He snickered when he read what I wrote.

_You look kinda ridiculous though._

He pursed his lips in careful thought as he wrote back to me. He slid it back with a deadpan expression.

_You mean it's ridiculous how awesome I look._

I snorted. Mr. Banner looked up and I tried to hide the piece of paper in my arms as I pretending to write more lecture notes in my binder. I'm sure the furious blush on my cheeks didn't help.

"Is there something funny, Bella?" Mr. Banner asked, garnering an expression that lacked any trace of amusement on his face. He tapped his overhead marker onto the projector as he awaited my response.

"No, sir." I mumbled. I dared myself to lift my eyes to him, hoping that he wouldn't torture me any further by letting the entire class's eyes settle upon me for this long.

My answer seemed to appease Mr. Banner enough so that he broke his gaze and continued on with his droning about wildlife creatures and biomes.

Edward sensed my embarrassment; I could tell by the sympathetic smile I saw on his face when I looked his way.

The next ten minutes of class, Edward and I didn't push our luck. I knew he understood that being almost caught by Mr. Banner meant that I wouldn't send him any more notes. Not for a while, anyway. It was times like these I realized how Edward truly made this class so much more bearable for me. I didn't have long to dwell on it, before the PA system buzzed and a crackled voice spoke over our heads.

"Please excuse this interruption… I have the nominees for Homecoming Royalty." Mrs. Cope's high-pitched speech reverberated with a buzz off the white walls of the classroom. My classmates started to rustle their papers and shift in their seats from excitement. I merely put down my pen and gave a look of boredom as I propped my head up on the desk with one hand. Edward smiled at me, amused at my expression.

We listened as Mrs. Cope listed off the candidates for each grade level, starting with the senior class and working her way down. I recognized Edward's brother among the junior class candidates and we shared a smile upon that announcement.

"And for the freshman class, the nominees for Homecoming Prince are Tyler Crowley and Mike Newton."

Mike made a point at that moment to turn around and grin at me, probably gauging my reaction to his nomination. I tilted my head with a smile in congratulations, but it was slightly forced on my part. My eyes shifted down automatically when I saw that Edward had that calculative expression he always wore whenever I interacted with Mike. I was never sure what it was Edward was looking for when he looked at me that way, and I was surely not going to humiliate myself by asking him.

I focused my attention to the ceiling, as though Mrs. Cope was particularly enthralling at that instant, wrapping up her announcements through the old speaker.

"Lastly, the nominees for Freshman Homecoming Princess are…Tanya Denali, and...Oh. I guess she's running unopposed. Congratulations, then, Tanya. Now, remember, voting will take place by private ballots during your lunch time, and you may purchase tickets up until Friday. Our spirit week continues tomorrow with Super Hero Day. Come dressed up as your favorite super hero."

Her announcement ended abruptly with the click of her microphone and the fuzzy ringing of the PA system as communication was cut off.

Tanya was running unopposed, so she had a default crown. Figures. Not many girls at this school could compete with all three feet of her strawberry blond hair, perfect fair complexion, and a face that gave Charlize Theron a run for her money.

Before I realized it, the rest of the class period zoomed by, and soon enough the bell rang. Exhaling loudly, I got up from my chair and stretched my arms out.

"Oh, so you did wear pajamas," Edward noted, taking in my appearance.

"Yeah." I shrugged. "Although, I can't say that I look nearly as _cool_ as you do."

Edward barked out a laugh. "Yes! I knew you would like it. I made the cape myself."

I giggled. "Yeah, and it looks like it took you hours," I deduced, with an all too innocent expression.

Edward narrowed his eyes at me as he caught onto my sarcasm. I expected him to continue our playful argument, but instead he reached out a hand and lightly tugged on one of my braids as we walked out of the room together. "I like these."

"Thanks." I smiled, reaching my hand up to the two French braids woven through my scalp and past my shoulders. "I made them myself," I joked.

He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes, I noticed. He seemed distracted.

Edward walking me to class had become a daily unspoken tradition; somewhere along the road between the first time he did it two months ago and now, it just became an assumed practice. I liked it.

We walked in silence past the rows of lockers on the first floor. I tried not to be embarrassed by association when we walked past a group of upperclassmen who gave pointed stares in Edward's direction. Granted most of the student body wore pajamas that day, but Edward managed to stick out like a sore thumb. It was amazing that he wasn't fazed by the attention.

It wasn't until I saw his brother, Emmett, that I realized where he got his overwhelming confidence from.

"Edward!" An incredibly large teenage boy came looming towards us with a huge grin on his face. It was like something out of a bad horror movie, taking in the sight of him. At over six feet tall, Emmett could hardly be considered a boy. His ensemble was downright hilarious, all 210 pounds of him stuffed into a light-pink, blue and yellow flannel pajama set, complete with built in booties and a white baby bonnet.

"Hey, Emmett!" Edward waved to his brother across the hall.

"Lookin' good, Ed," Emmett proclaimed, and Edward accepted his compliment with a nod of his head.

Emmett seemed to have already made quite the impression on Forks High School in such a short amount of time. After all, he and Edward had been here as long as me, and not two months past the first day of school, he was not only quarterback of the football team but now he was nominated for Homecoming Court.

Of course he was gorgeous with his dark curly head of hair and dimpled smile, but his personality was one that would draw people from miles away. I didn't have to know him very well to surmise as much.

"So that's cool that he's up for Homecoming royalty," I said once we were out of earshot of Emmett and we approached the stairwell.

Edward chuckled. "Yeah. Emmett gets a kick out of stuff like that. He was voted into the Homecoming court both years he went to his old high school before we moved out here. The fact that he's so good at football helps him get over the new student complex, I think. He's psyched about the Homecoming game on Friday."

"Yeah, I think I remember Mike mentioning something about that, how Emmett's our best bet of making it very far this season." Mike was on the junior varsity team, which was still pretty impressive for a freshman. Or so he told me. I wouldn't really know.

Edward furrowed his brow at the mention of Mike. He opened his mouth as if he had something he wanted to say, but closed it hesitantly. I pretended not to notice.

"So, what super hero are you going to dress up as tomorrow now that you already used up your Superman costume?" I asked, hoping Edward would catch on to my desire to lift us out of the awkward silence.

"Okay, first of all, this is not a _costume_. These are my _pajamas_, hence why I am wearing them for Pajama Day," he pointed out to me, gesturing over his ensemble with a wave of his hand and a matter-of-fact expression. "But to answer your question, tomorrow I am going to dress up as Superman. And to answer your next question," he raised a finger to stop me from interrupting him, "Yes, I have a separate _costume_ for that. Actually, I'm going to wear a shirt and tie to school and go as Clark Kent, and wear this Superman shirt underneath. I got these thick-rimmed glasses from the dollar store with Emmett over the weekend. It's going to be awesome."

I laughed. "Wow. You _reall_y like Superman."

"Hey, he's the ultimate super hero," Edward argued. "Who wouldn't want to be like him? He's fast, he can fly, he's strong, he can see through stuff…" he trailed off.

I snorted. "See through stuff? You're talking about X-ray vision, aren't you? I wonder what Superman would have done as a teenager in high school. I'd keep him away from the girls locker room."

"Can't say I'd blame you," he agreed with a laugh. Instantaneously, however, he wore a serious expression as he glanced back at me. "Hey—so," he mumbled awkwardly, "did Mike ask you to the Homecoming Dance?"

I cringed. "Yeah." I didn't elaborate on it. "How did you know?"

Edward shrugged. "Word gets around." He paused. "Are you going with him?"

"No." I avoided his gaze.

"Were you planning on going to the Homecoming Dance?" His voice was soft.

I rolled my eyes. "Ugh—no. I don't do dances."

"Why not?"

I gave him an incredulous look. "Really, Edward? You haven't seen me in gym class, but you should know that I can barely put one foot in front of the other without falling flat on my face."

Edward smiled. "But still," he interjected. "It would be fun. It's really not that bad, dancing. What's great about dances these days is as long as you're moving and having a good time, no one's going to make fun of you."

I snorted. "That's easy for you to say." I frowned at a new realization. "Did Mike ask you to talk me into going to the dance with him or something?" Is that why Edward was acting so weird?

"No!" Edward insisted. "I just thought maybe you should go. I mean, I'll be there. It would be fun to see you there. We don't hang out outside of school, you know? A group of us are going…We're going to get dinner in Port Angeles beforehand and go to the dance. You should come with us."

I frowned. Funny, when _Mike_ asked me to go to the dance with him, he said we would be going in a big group too, but somehow, he just made it seem horribly unappealing. Edward, however, was able to make it sound like it could be fun. "I don't know…" I fingered the hanging strap of my backpack that was hanging at waist level. We had reached the destination for my algebra class, so we just lingered by the doorway. "I don't have a dress or anything…" I sighed. I could tell out of my peripheral vision that Edward was starting to smile as though in triumph. Well, he hadn't won me over yet. "Who else is going?" I asked.

Edward scrunched up his face in thought as he started listing them off. "Well, me."

I rolled me eyes. "Yeah, I knew that." I waited for him to continue.

Edward's eyes went up into his head as he started counting off with his fingers. "Well, Tyler… Ben… Angela… Eric… Jessica… Lauren—"

"Lauren's going?" The name automatically sent acid up from my stomach to my throat.

"Yeah, but don't worry about her. I'll make sure she's nice to you," he assured.

I looked at him skeptically. "But see, that's the thing about Lauren. She's like a stink bomb—she's a sneaky kind of mean, you know?"

Edward shrugged reluctantly. "Yeah, I know. But come on. Don't let the fact that she's going to be there convince you not to come." His eyes looked at me hopefully. He ran his fingers through his messy bronze hair and hooked his thumbs behind the straps of his backpack.

I contemplated it. I felt comfortable with Edward; he was such a great person to be around, at least from what I knew in class. I almost believed him when he said the dance would be fun. But the thing was, I just really didn't want to go. The idea of me attempting to dance in public turned me off. The concept of me buying a dress for the occasion made me want to cringe. And the fact that Lauren would be around made that lack of desire even more apparent. "I don't think so, Edward. And plus, I don't think Mike would be very happy to know that I'm going to the dance after I already turned him down."

Edward smirked, enjoying his own private joke, before he looked up at me with a sigh. "Alright. Well, if you change your mind, we'll make room for you."

I nodded, smiling that he seemed to understand. We waved goodbye to each other as he walked away and I headed into my classroom.

Why did it not surprise me that Jessica greeted me with an intense expression, her eyes practically bugging out of her head.

"Well?" she prodded, not waiting for me to sit down to begin her interrogation.

I shot her a look of confusion.

"What were you talking to Edward about?"

_None of your business_, I answered in my head. "Nothing."

"Not nothing. He asked you to the dance, didn't he?"

I shrugged. I hated how hot my face felt all of a sudden. "I'm not going."

Jessica's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, you're not going? Did he not ask you? I thought for sure he was going to ask you—"

"Yeah, he asked me." Ugh. I hated talking about this. "But I'm not going."

Jessica was bewildered. "You turned him down?"

"Yeah, but he understands. I mean, I hate dances, I don't have a dress. He said that you were all going together in a big group, right? He was just being nice by asking me, that's all."

Jessica shook her head and grabbed me by the shoulders, talking slowly as if I was two years old. "No, he was not just being nice, Bella. I thought you knew. Edward likes you."

"Yeah, I know. I like him, too." I purposely turned away from her to face the chalkboard, hoping Jessica would take the hint that I wanted to stop this stupid conversation.

Jessica didn't. "No," she said in a low hush. "I don't think you understand, Bella. He really _likes_ you."

Oh. _Oh._ "What? But it's not like that between us. We have fun together. He's like a little brother to me," I argued.

Jessica raised her eyebrow. "Better not tell Edward that. Well, whatever. It probably means he'll go to the dance with Tanya now."

"Tanya? Tanya Denali?"

"Yeah. She asked Edward to go to the dance with her like a couple of days ago and Edward told her that he'd think about it. I guess he was waiting to see what you'd say."

"Oh. Well, yeah. Tanya's nice. Edward would have a good time with her."

Jessica looked at me skeptically. "You know, I'm sure it's not too late to change your mind."

I shook my head. "No, no. I hate dances. And besides, Mike asked me. How horrible would that look if I went with Edward after I turned Mike down?"

Jessica shrugged. "I guess."

Evidently, Jessica lost interest in our discussion at last, because she finally twisted her torso away from me to look at the board. Still, I couldn't help but notice the sidelong glances she kept stealing in my direction, and I wondered if I was just being paranoid.

When our teacher broke us up into partners to work on our next assignment for the rest of the class period, Jessica spoke as though no lull existed from our previous dialogue.

"Did you know that Edward's second period class is on the first floor?" Jessica mentioned as she lazily traced designs onto her worksheet with the tip of her pencil.

My eyes widened in surprise. "It is?"

"Yup. Lauren says that he's late to class almost every day."

Why hadn't I known that before? I knew that his second class was English, but it never occurred to me that the English wing was connected to the Science wing on the first floor. That meant that Edward had been walking up and down an entire flight of stairs just to walk me to class every morning. "Wow."

Jessica looked smug as she turned her attention back to her worksheet.

I was too distracted to make any sense of the numbers on the page in front of me.

_**Present Day**_

I drew shapes out of the fog my breath was creating on the glass next to me as I let my my mind wander with the ever pressing questions circling around Edward. Would I ever see him again? Would I even want to see him again after he inevitably found out what my book was about?

I stole several glances at him during our drive back to the coffee shop, so I could memorize him clearly--the sharp contours of his jaw, the piercing green of his eyes, the way his knuckles turned white when he clenched the steering wheel as he made turns with the car…and in my mind, I imagined that he stole glances at me too.

"You know what I just realized?" My head snapped up with surprise at my own voice. I turned to Edward's expectant face. "No one recognized you at the coffee shop. There were so many people in there. Surely someone knew who you were. You're a big movie star!" I exclaimed.

Edward chuckled. "I don't know which coffee shop you were in, but unfortunately, people did recognize us. Who needs paparazzi when you've got teenagers with camera phones," he sighed. "But yes, there were people who recognized us. Both of us. You're a celebrity too, you know."

I blushed, ignoring his last comment. "What are you talking about? I was in the same coffee shop, and I don't remember anyone—"

"Well, I think you were a little preoccupied with the table you pushed over—"

"Shut up! I did not push the table over! It fell over!"

"Sure, all by itself? Tell me something; if Bella falls down in the middle of a forest and no one is there to see it, does she still blush as red as a tomato?"

_Oh God_, now my ears were hot. "I don't know," I mumbled, turning my head away from him so he couldn't see my crimson face.

I felt a soft touch on my left arm. "Sorry, Bella. I couldn't resist."

I was determined to keep my glare upon him but one look at his perfect face smiling at me so earnestly melted every drop of contempt away. "Did people take pictures?"

"Of the coffee lake you created on the floor?" He laughed, but patted my arm comfortingly as he spun the steering wheel with his other hand to make another turn. "I don't think so. People seemed to have gotten their take while we were waiting in line. Also, you were in the bathroom when the group of high school girls bombarded me for my autograph. They wanted to know if you were my girlfriend." He rolled his eyes. My skin blushed furiously. "You're lucky they left before they could get to you. Did you seriously not notice? I swear, half the room couldn't take their eyes off of you."

Of course they couldn't. I was with him. I cringed. "I guess I was just too preoccupied with the table I pushed over," I remarked sarcastically.

"Ha ha." Edward pulled into a parking spot in front of the coffee shop, and I could see more clearly now. Apparently, the presence of Edward caused me to be completely blind to whatever was happening in the rest of the world around me. It was definitely obvious that people were staring at us now. Even through the large glass windows of the small shop, I could see people gawking at Edward and me like we were parts of a museum exhibit.

I heard the cranking sound of the parking break, and it triggered something much more final to me. My sigh was immediate. "I'm really glad we ran into each other. I'm glad you called me."

I heard the click and swish of his seatbelt as he released it. On reflex, I undid my own and shifted my body to look at him more easily. His warm eyes met mine. "Me too."

I stuck out my hand to shake his and his brow furrowed. He lifted an eyebrow, observing me for a short moment before bursting open the car door on his side. Before I could make sense of what he was doing, he was already opening my door and pulled me out of the car by my arm.

"It's been six years since we've seen each other and you're going to say goodbye by shaking my hand?" Edward shook his head disbelievingly. "Silly, Bella," he said softly.

I forgot to breathe. My senses were too focused on the fact that his hands were going around me, underneath my coat and pulling me closer. Closer. My face was flush against his hard chest. My hands and arms acted on their own accord as I trailed them up from my sides and traced them around his upper body, feeling through his thin sweater and going underneath his jacket just as he had with me. Rib by rib my hands found their placement on the thick flesh of his back and knew that's where they were meant to stay.

I experienced something surreal in that moment. It felt like someone was patching up a hole in my chest that I never knew existed. This hug was different than the one I experienced with him in the grocery store just a day ago. Somehow.

I wondered if he noticed, too.

I felt him pull away and I begrudgingly did the same. I was caught off guard, however, when he didn't pull away completely. His arms still encased me, his hands held onto each of my shoulders. I tilted my head to properly see his face.

"Call me if you're ever in LA," he murmured. I couldn't tear away from his scrutinizing expression if I tried. What was he trying to figure out? Was I more transparent than I realized?

I nodded. Of course I would do anything he asked. But would he want me to call him when he knew how I felt about him? How I really felt? As much as I wanted him to accept my infatuation with a mirrored response and a kiss on the lips, I honestly didn't know what he would think, and that lack of knowing made me feel more vulnerable than I was willing to be. I didn't want to call him on the off-chance that he read my book, and didn't feel the same way. Why risk it?

He turned his body, never leaving contact with mine, so that his back was facing his car now. He leaned back against it, pulling away from me, but grabbing my hands when they slid down from my arms, caressing them gently with the pad of his thumbs. His hands were cold from the chill of the air, but they lit a fire on my skin and burned me from the inside out.

I willed myself not to close my eyes. I was afraid this would all go away if I did.

Instead, I dared myself to look into his eyes. He wasn't smiling anymore, but his eyes still held the sparkling reminisce of a good joke we shared a moment ago.

No words were said out loud, but it was as though a million thoughts were exchanged between us. In my head, I shouted out the depths of my attraction for him, and despite whatever Edward might have felt for me at that moment, it was apparent something was going on behind those pretty eyes. What was he thinking? Did I want to know?

My breath hitched when I felt his hand brush my cold cheek. My eyes closed instinctively. My face warmed. My head turned into the hand, drawn to it like a magnet.

I could hear his breathing now. Shorter, more complicated breaths. Why? It was as though he was…nervous? I opened my eyes, and my brain stalled again. His face loomed closer, his eyes were a darker green, and his hand held purchase on the hollow of my neck. I felt his icy fingers trace lightly on the exposed skin where my scarf was not protecting it.

And as soon as the moment came, it was gone. Burst like a soap bubble. Edward's eyes diverted quickly past my head, and it wasn't until I turned that I saw the cameras.

Paparazzi in Forks, Washington?

"How did they know?" I asked, confused as I looked at Edward's livid expression.

"Jessica must have tipped them off," he answered in a hushed tone. He broke his grasp quicker than I could snap my fingers.

"Why would she do that?" I frowned. Surely, Jessica was of the annoying sort, but she was hardly what I would call malicious.

"It's her job, isn't it?" Edward responded. "Publicity. Good publicity, bad publicity. Doesn't matter as long as it gets me attention." He chuckled darkly.

I snorted. "It looks like Jessica's really found her calling, hasn't she? Oh God. Well, how does my hair look at least?" I dramatically batted my eyelashes and primped my hair with one hand.

Edward laughed wholeheartedly. "You're not bothered by the cameras?"

I shrugged. "Well, I don't love them. Luckily, Alice has taught me the importance of always being camera ready. I'm just upset that you came here to get away from all of this and you can't seem to escape it."

Edward smiled appreciatively. "You've really changed, haven't you? I didn't think you'd turn all Paris Hilton on me."

I shoved him playfully. "Hey, two hours ago you were saying I was the 'same old Bella Swan,'" I reminded him. "Compare me to Paris again and I will slap you, I swear."

"Whatever gives me an excuse to see you again." He looked at me with a measure of intensity that took me back to my earlier years of high school. Was he being serious now, or joking? I could never truly make a deduction when my own desires clouded my perception.

I gulped. I shifted my eyes, letting them focus on anything but Edward. "Well, yeah. I mean, I'll call you when I'm in LA. The next time I'm in LA."

"You know, I didn't believe you the first time you said it, and I certainly don't believe you now." Edward leaned in, forcing me to look at his face. "I want to keep in touch with you, Bella. Seeing you this weekend made me realize how much I missed having you around. I don't want another six years to go by before I see you again, you know?"

I nodded. I knew.

"Don't you want to be my friend?" Edward asked coyly. He sounded so incredibly young when he spoke like that.

I tilted my head to the side. I couldn't hide the sadness in my eyes. I didn't want to be his friend. I wanted to be so much more.

I smiled as I took my first steps away. I reached into my pocket to grab my car keys and turned back one more time. _No, no, no_, I thought_. I don't want tears. Not now. _"I'll call you if I'm ever in LA. I promise."

I turned my head away, not bothering to look back. The water welling up in my eyes would give me away. I knew he didn't believe me, as I said the words a third time. I didn't know if I believed me either.

I hurried to my car and was inside with the engine running before I could count to ten.

I saw my cell phone sitting on the dashboard of my car. The light emitting from the cover was blinking a bright red, which meant I had messages on my voice mail . Grateful for any sort of distraction, I grabbed the phone, flipped the cover open, and pressed the appropriate buttons before holding it up to my ear. Simultaneously, I released my parking break and reversed out of my spot, giving Edward one final glance as I drove out of it.

I waved one last time, willing myself not to let him see the heartache I felt at that moment. He brought his hand up in response, and his smile was friendly enough, but it wasn't Edward's smile. That saddened me.

I saw that the three men with the expensive looking Nikons were closing in on Edward, his body still leaning against his car, watching me pull away. He seemed to notice this too, because he lifted himself from the car and stood up straight in a huff. A crowd was starting to form around him, of people wanting his autograph, to take a picture with the movie star, or with people who just desired to be in his presence.

That was his life; people adoring him from all directions. And here was mine, in a separate car. In a separate world.

Sure, I understood his celebrity, probably better than most, but that didn't mean I was anywhere in his league. He was attending red carpet events. I was attending book signings. I was successful, yes. I was rich, yes. But I wasn't exactly glamorous and Edward deserved the whole package, didn't he? The idea of him escorting some mousy brown haired woman to any sort of premiere was laughable.

At least I had one day with him. I had a really good day with him.

I was in the middle of listening to a message from Alice before I realized that I wasn't paying attention at all to what she was saying. I pressed "1" to hear the message again.

"Hi, Bella! I just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! Tell your family I say 'Hi' and I can't wait to see you when you get back. Let's go out for drinks or something, okay? Call me!"

I pressed "7" to delete. I wouldn't forget to call Alice back.

"You have 2 new voice messages," said the monotone voice of a female.

I waited patiently for the next message to start. I sighed, flipping on the turn signal with my index finger as the rest of my hand stayed wrapped around the steering wheel. My foot inched off the gas pedal and moved towards the brake.

"Hi, Bella. This is Esme."


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note:** Okay so here it is!! All I ask is that you keep in mind that my writing style is going to be different from Bella-of-the-Balls. I loved her story just as much as all of you and was just as sad when she ended it. So I'm happy that I can at least make the story my own and continue with it. I hope you enjoy it!

**Thanks:** My amazing beta Shwriteme who I was lucky enough to keep even after the author change. Thank you so much!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters, Stephanie Meyer does.

**Chapter 7**

"_Hi Bella, this is Esme."_

I slammed my foot down on the brake and my body jerked forward, hitting my chest hard against the top of the steering wheel. Numerous cars honked behind me and swerved to avoid hitting me but I could hardly hear it over the rapid beating of my heart. I took a deep breath and tried to collect myself. I tossed my phone in the passenger's seat, knowing that I would need full concentration before listening to the message in its entirety.

Slowly taking my foot off the brake and making sure that the road was clear, I pulled into the local 'Tackle and Bait' shop. I sat still for a moment in the empty, dark parking lot before finally slipping the car into park. My mind was frantic, running through all the possibilities for her phone call--each assumption growing worse then the last. I let out a long breath and tried to compose myself as I reached for my phone. I quickly re-typed my number and shakily held the phone up to my ears.

"_Hi Bella, this is Esme. I know that Edward is dropping you off at your car right now but I wondered if you could call some time before you leave town. I'd like to talk to you about something if that's alright. It was great to see you again dear; I'll be waiting for your call."_

"To delete press seven, to save nine." I listened to the monotone voice and quickly pressed nine knowing that I'd have to listen to the message again and dissect it word for word.

I was just about to flip my phone shut when the second message started to play. I was so engrossed in the massage from Esme that I'd forgotten I even had a second one.

"_Hey Bella it's me again." _Alice's voice chirped._ "I just got on-line and you are not going to believe what I found. There are pictures of you and Edward sitting in a coffee shop. It looks like they were taken with a cell phone or something. You didn't even tell me you had a date with him! This is going to be all over the TV tonight. I'm freaking out here! Call me!" _

I smiled at the squeaky tone of Alice's voice and knew that she was probably waiting on the edge of her seat for my call. Everything had happened so quickly after seeing Edward in the grocery store that I hadn't had time to call her.

_I'll call her when I get to my parents house,_ I decided, flipping my phone shut and tossing it in my bag. I put the car in drive and was almost out of the parking lot when Justin Timberlake's 'Sexy Back' started playing.

I should have known Alice couldn't wait. Smiling to myself I reached back into my bag and placed my phone to my ear.

"Alice, I was _going_ to call you." I started right into the apologies because I knew what she was going to say.

"But why didn't you tell me you were doing on a date with him!"

"First off it wasn't a date. It was more like a non-date date."

"A non-date date," she said skeptically. "Bella, what kind of definition is that?"

"One that works, because that's what it was."

"Who asked who?"

"What?"

"You heard me. Who asked who," she repeated slowly.

I thought back to yesterday and my chance encounter with Edward at the grocery store. I'd been shocked to even see him and even more flustered from being in his presence. When he'd asked me what I was doing the next day and suggested we have coffee I was dumbstruck. I'd lamely replied, "uh…yeah," before giving him my number.

"I guess he kind of suggested that we hang out, but-"

She cut me off. "So he asked you out." The tone of her voice was so excited I could almost hear her jumping up and down.

"Alice, it wasn't like that. I mean I wish it _was_ but honestly…it wasn't. I ran into him at the grocery store and we started talking. He said, 'we should hang out,' that's pretty much code talk for 'this is not a date'."

"What did you guys talk about?"

"College, what we're doing now. How neither one of has really changed." I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice as I said the last part about change. Edward was never in love with the Bella Swan of nine years ago and since I hadn't changed…well it answered any questions I had as to how he felt about me.

"So did you do anything else? Or was it just coffee?" She asked her voice still as high pitch as ever with excitement.

"We went to his house. It's been a while since I'd seen his parents and his mom wanted to see me."

"Ohhh meeting the parents is always good."

"Alice, I wasn't meeting them. I've known them for years?"

"I know, but at least his mom wanted to see you again. That has to be a good sign."

"Yeah well she had her _reasons_." I said, this time making it clear by the tone of my voice that something was up.

"What do you mean reasons?"

"She's read the book Alice. She knows--I know she does."

"WHAT! She does? Has she told him? What did she say to you? What did you say to her?"

"She hasn't told him. In fact she told him that she hadn't even started reading it."

"Then how do you know she has?"

I spent the rest of the drive home telling Alice everything that took place the rest of the evening. I told her about Esme's sneaky way of letting me know she'd already read it right down to playing Rock band with Emmett and Edward.

"I really did have a good time. It felt so good to just…talk to him again."

"Are you going to see him again?"

"No, he goes back to LA tomorrow. He said he wanted me to call him if I'm ever in LA but…I don't…I mean…I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because Alice. He wants to be my friend and I can't be _just_ his friend when I want so much more than that. Then of course there's always the possibility that any day he could purchase my book, read it, and find out how incredibly in love with him I was-slash-am. And now that I know Esme's read it, it's only a matter of time before he reads it." I could feel the terror brewing inside me just thinking of the probability.

"And that's a problem…why exactly?"

"Because he doesn't feel the same way." I mumbled feeling the ache in my chest just saying the words.

"How do you know that?"

"Alice, if he had feelings for me wouldn't he have said something?

"You didn't"

I was silent as I thought over her words. She was right. It wasn't the first time I wasn't honest with myself or Edward when it came to my feelings. I kept my eyes straight ahead on the road but the lines on the pavement blurred together into a white haze.

**9 Years Ago Monday after Homecoming Weekend**

I had slammed my locker shut and nervously adjusted the collar of my shirt before flinging my backpack over my shoulders. The noise in the hallways had been louder then most Mondays because of the exciting weekend. We won the homecoming football game against Port Angeles for the first time in six years--thanks to Emmett--and there were posters that read 'Roughriders aren't so rough' plastering the walls.

I'd spent the entire weekend inside attempting to keep my mind busy but failed miserably. No matter what task I was doing my mind always wandered to Edward and the dance and what Jessica had said the week before.

There was no way she was right. Edward doesn't like me. We're friends and that's it. He was quite possibly the best friend I had here at school and I always looked forward to my science class with him but that's normal….right?

I kept my head down as I forged my way through he hallways, ignoring the questions that continued to form in my mind. I felt a slight flutter in my stomach the closer I got to my classroom but ignored it and blamed the pop tarts I'd eaten.

Placing my book bag on my desk I slumped down in my seat, pulled out my notebook and waited for Edward. A minute later he walked into the classroom grinning in his Spartan High tee-shirt, obviously still supporting the school and its victory.

"What no super hero shirt today?" I teased as he walked toward me.

"Hey! I though we established that my shirt was not only awesome but that Superman _is _the ultimate super hero."

"No, I believe we established that superman is the ultimate super hero, which by the way I'm still not completely convinced of, but I never agreed that you looked awesome."

"Hang on," he said holding up his finger and taking a seat next to me, "How are you _not _convinced that he's the best?"

I tried to hide my smile and not point out the fact that he didn't care about my shirt comment and was only worried about Superman's reputation.

"I'm not convinced," I said casually, "I mean there are plenty of other super hero's that are just as good as him."

Edward looked at me with wide eyes, like I'd just grown two heads. "Names." He said in an almost demanding tone.

"What? You want me to name other super hero's that are better?"

He didn't say a word; he simply raised his eyebrows, folded his arms and waited.

I racked my brain for a second knowing that no matter who I named they would easily be out done by superman. But I just couldn't resist seeing him get defensive. There was something about the way his face scrunched up when he thought I was crazy that made me giggle. "Captain America," I said confidently.

"He has agility, and good fighting skills, but he's not as strong as Superman."

"Thor,"

"A hammer? Sure that does damage to a villain who can fly away," he said sarcastically, "Next."

"Batman?"

"He does have a cape which wins him points but he's human. He's not fast, super strong, and he definitely can't see through walls."

"Spiderman?" I tried, knowing that he was the best I could come up with.

"That's a little better. At least he can fly, but he has to have buildings around to swing from. That gives him limitations."

I could tell I was losing and we'd only just started. Clearly there was no way I was going to win.

"Ok so maybe you're right," I said, giving up. "Superman does seem to have all the abilities that would…_define_ the ultimate super hero."

A grin spread across Edward's face as he straightened his shoulders. "I must say I'm surprised you gave up so easily. You didn't even start on any of the X-men. I was fully prepared for a good fight. But I'm glad you're convinced. After all Bella, he is… super."

I dropped my head laughing and propped myself up on my elbow.

"Did you hear that we won?" He asked, changing the subject excitingly.

"How could I _not_ hear about it? It feels like a Friday around here."

"Yeah everyone's still on a high I guess. The game was so good. I can't believe you didn't want to go."

"Sitting in the rain for three hours watching boys pummel each other isn't necessarily my idea of a fun Saturday."

"Come on, it's not that bad. Plus we kicked P.A. High's butt. That alone makes it worth it. It was so great. Emmett made this one play and totally sacked their quarterback. The guy didn't even see him coming. WHAM," he slapped his hands together making a loud clapping sound, "the guy was out."

His eyes were bright with enthusiasm as he explained the game and I couldn't help but giggle at him. I wasn't a fan of football; no matter how much Charlie wished I was, but something told me that if I had to go to a game, Edward would be a fun person to go with. He has a way of making everything more fun.

"So what did you do this weekend?" he asked.

"Not much…I was-"

"Hey Bella!" Mike suddenly interrupted pulling his chair up to our table. "I didn't see you at the game on Saturday. I thought you said that you were going."

I looked over at Edward briefly who had dropped his chin down to his folded arms before glancing at Mike.

"No, I'm not a huge football fan. Besides I had some stuff to get done."

"Next game then, I'd love to take you. I know all there is to know about football and I'm sure once you understand it you'll like it."

I floundered for a second before responding. "Uhh, we'll see…maybe…I." I didn't get to finish before Mike was grinning triumphantly as if I just swore I'd marry him. Apparently the word _maybe_ meant, 'sure I'd love to go to the game with you.'

I noticed Edward lift his head off the table and scrunch up his face in its normal 'Mike is talking to Bella' expression. On any other day I would simply except the look for what it was and ignore it like I always did. But after what Jessica said last week I couldn't help but think that maybe there was something more behind it.

I opened my mouth to tell Mike I didn't think that I'd be able to go to the next game with him when he looked at Edward and smiled.

"I saw you and Tanya talking at the dance. You going after her Cullen?"

Out of shock my head snapped toward Edward and I met his somewhat surprised eyes. I'd assumed Edward went with Tanya to the dance after I said no to him but from what it sounded like he didn't, and I felt--relieved?

"Tanya's really nice," he said to both me and Mike, "But we're just friends."

Mike seemed to accept his response and I blushed as I realized what my reaction must have seemed like. I tried to relax and brush it off, like it didn't matter. After all it didn't, did it?

The rest of the class period went by in a blur. Edward looked at me a few times and I smiled back like I always did but something felt…different, _I_ felt different and I couldn't place it.

Finally the bell rang and I shoved my things in my bag. Edward already had his bag packed and was waiting for me at the door. He looked lost in his own world, like he was thinking about something with new-found determination.

"So do you think you'll go to the next home game?" He finally asked as we walked down the hallway.

"I doubt it, why?"

"Because if you're going and want to actually learn something about football, don't go with Mike. He thinks he knows what he's talking about but trust me he doesn't."

"Really?" I said laughing, "And you do?"

"Of course, I may be small but that doesn't mean I don't know how to play. Who do you think taught Emmett all of his moves?" he said in an overly confident voice.

"Moves? Like what kind of moves?" I said, trying not to laugh at him.

"Oh you know…holding. Like THIS!"

Before I even registered what he was doing he had his arms wrapped around me from behind pinning my arms down to my side.

"Edward!" I squeaked trying to squirm free; surprised that his small body could actually hold me still.

I felt his cheek brush against my ear and his breath tickled as he spoke. "See, holding."

As soon as he released me I doubled over in laughter; ignoring the flutter of my heart, and gripped the railing on the stairs to keep from falling forward.

"What?" he asked incredulously, "You don't believe me? Ask him he'll tell you."

I immediately felt bad for laughing and tried to compose myself. I put my hand over my mouth to keep the giggles from escaping. When I looked back up at him I could see the smile forming at the corner of his mouth and it wasn't long before he couldn't hold in his laughter either.

A few people stared at us as we laughed our way through the halls discussing other 'moves' that Edward taught his huge brother, but he didn't seem to be aware of them. Nothing ever seemed to bother Edward and I couldn't help but be envious of his carefree demeanor.

We were a few feet away from my classroom when I started to feel nervous. I couldn't fight the desire I had to ask him why he walked me to class every day. It wasn't that I didn't like it but now that I knew he was late for his next class I felt guilty.

"Hey," I said casually "Where is your next class anyway?"

"Oh, it's not far, just down the stairs." He shrugged it off as if it was no big deal.

"You're not late or anything right?"

"Nah, it's no biggie. I like walking you to class." He shoved his hands in his pocket and turned to face me. His face was serious for a moment and he looked like he was thinking hard about something. Just as quickly as the look was there is was gone. "After all…" he smiled, "what are friends for, right?"

"Yeah…friends," I repeated smiling. I waved my hand goodbye as I stepped into my classroom and made my way over to my chair. As soon as I was seated Jessica spun around and faced me.

"So did you ask him?"

"Who"

"Edward. Did you ask him if he liked you?"

"No, and I don't have to. We're just friends, nothing more."

Jessica rolled her eyes as if she was going to argue and I was thankful that at that moment Mr. Thomson walked in the room ready to start class. I flipped my book open and pretended to be engrossed in the numbers in front of me. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't focus. I re-played Edward's words over in my mind like it was on an endless loop and each time it hit me a little harder.

Jessica had been wrong. I'd known she was and I was okay with it….only….I wasn't.

**Present Day**

I blinked coming out of my haze and realized that I'd made it home faster then I thought. .

I pulled into my parent's driveway and killed the engine. My phone call with Alice had gone exactly like I thought it would. She told me I was crazy for not telling Edward about my book and I told her that I had my reasons. What were those reasons? Mainly fear. I've been in love with Edward secretly for so long that the thought of him actually knowing, and then rejecting me, was too painful to even imagine.

The rain picked up, tapping a staccato rhythm on the car roof, and I decided to make a run for it. Pulling my jacket up over my head, I splashed across the driveway; cookies in hand, and hurried inside. I could hear the TV on in the living room and walked in to see Charlie sitting in his chair.

"Hey Bells," he said without turning around. "How was your date?"

"It wasn't a date, Dad. We just had coffee."

"Sure, that's how it always starts," he said under his breath.

I rolled my eyes at him but couldn't help but smile. My dad was never one for words and when it came to me and guys he'd rather not be involved.

"Where's Mom?"

"In the kitchen--getting dinner ready. You should probably go in there and see if she needs help. I think she's trying out a new recipe."

I peeled off my wet jacket and hung it up before heading into the kitchen. Sure enough Renee was standing over the stove with her nose pressed into a cook book gaping at it like it was written in Hieroglyphics.

"What's for dinner?" I asked, causing her to look up.

"I'm trying this new recipe for stuffed pork tenderloin."

"Mmm, sounds good. Need some help?" I laid the plate of cookies down on the table and walked over to the counter pushing my sleeves up as I walked.

"Who gave you the cookies?"

"Esme Cullen. I saw her today after I had coffee with Edward."

"That's riiiight…" my mother trailed off, "how did that go?"

"It went well. It was really great to see him again."

My mother picked up a package of raisins and turned toward me. "Did you two…talk about anything?"

"Mom," I said in warning. If there was one thing my mother was, it was intuitive. She always had a way of knowing what I was thinking or feeling. Like an adult version of Alice only less energetic and slightly less scary.

"What? I'm simply asking if you talked about anything important. Like…"

"Like what?" I took the bag of raisins out of her hand and poured some in a bowl before covering them with water.

"Like your book," she finished.

"Mom, we've gone over this at least a dozen times. I can't tell him and you know why." At least I thought I knew why. I had reasons that for so long made sense, but now after seeing him again I was starting to question my own logic. I placed the bowl in the microwave, pressed the start button and waited for her to give me another lecture.

"Sweetheart I'm sorry for bringing it up. I just…I want you to be happy."

"I am happy," I replied, without thinking.

She didn't respond, but gave me a sad smile. She didn't say a word because she knew my statement wasn't completely true.

Sure I was happy, but only as happy as I could be considering the person I loved and wanted to be with more then anything had no clue and was completely unattainable.

"So tell me why you covered the raisins with water and put them in the microwave?" She asked breaking the silence.

"You want them to plump up. You could just let them soak in warm water but this way is faster."

"You know I really should take a cooking class or something. I'd like to learn all the new techniques these recipes call for."

I laughed--mostly to myself--at my mother and her transient hobbies. "You should try it," I encouraged like I always did, "I bet you'd like it."

Renee's eyes got a flicker of excitement behind them as she turned back to her cookbook with a new look of determination.

I sat down at the table and peeled back the saran wrap on the plate of cookies that Esme made. My mind immediately remembered the strange looks she had given me tonight and I had a feeling that the phone call I had yet to make was going to be an interesting one.

I debated when I should call her. Part of me wanted to call her as soon as possible on the off chance that Edward would answer the phone. Then again, I had a feeling the conversation she wanted to have might be about Edward and there was no way I wanted to risk him overhearing any of that discussion.

_Yep I'm definitely waiting until tomorrow evening. Better to play it safe._

After dinner was over I strategically placed myself on the couch with a book. My dad was sure to be watching a game of some sort and if I was lucky it would be on one of the main stations and not ESPN.

I had a feeling that Alice was right; like always. Pictures of Edward and I were sure to be the big celebrity gossip for the day. I couldn't bring myself to look on-line. That would actually require typing keys and searching for information that once I found I'd _have_ to read. This way if I was watching TV and just so happened to see a random clip I could either watch it or chose to avert my eyes. _At least that's what I'm telling myself._

Four innings, the final round of _Jeopardy_ and half of _Wheel of Fortune_ later I saw it--the preview for the show I was waiting for. I didn't listen to the announcer's voice. I only picked up random bits…_actor Edward Cullen, mystery girl, and holiday romance._ I was completely focused on the screen. Images of Edward and me standing in line at the coffee shop, sitting and talking, standing by the car. They all flashed so quickly I could hardly tell it was me. To any outsider it may look like just another couple in love but there was no mistaking him, there never was. My heart thudded against my ribs and immediately I froze, book in hand. I couldn't move. My mind knew that I'd just seen him, I just had my arms wrapped around him yet I felt as if I was seeing him for the first time all over again. And actually seeing him standing there next to me in the photos, felt surreal. The sound of my phone jolted me back to reality. _Alice. _

I hopped up from the couch and scrambled to find my phone. I could hear my dad asking me something as I left the room, but I didn't stop to listen.

"Did you see it?" Alice asked.

"Yes."

"So are you going to watch it?"

"I don't know." I sat down at the table, pulled out another cookie and started nibbling.

"Of course you know. You have to watch it, and you will. You may pretend you don't watch these celebrity shows but I know you. You'd do anything to get a glimpse of him."

"Yeah but this time is different." I knew that if I spent too much time looking at them that I'd dwell on all the possibilities of what ifs.

"That's right, this time _you'll_ be in the pictures with him." I heard her giggling under her breath and I had to admit part of me was excited to see it.

"Okay. I'll call you back after it's over."

"Definitely," she said before hanging up.

I spent the next ten minutes getting ready for bed and hurried back downstairs with a minute to spare. Charlie wasn't in the living room and I silently rejoiced. I had no idea what he'd think of the whole thing and I, by no means, felt like explaining it to him.

I turned the TV on and pulled my dad's chair a little closer to the TV. I had a feeling it would be on near the end of the show because that's how all these shows were. They keep you watching until the very end and that's when they finally show the stuff you want to see.

Sure enough it was more then half way over when they flashed his face. Edward, happy and green eyed, and grinning and perfect. I found myself smiling back at him instinctively, like he was right there in front of me.

All too quickly his picture was gone and it was replaced with the same images that I'd seen earlier. I watched closer this time and my breath caught when I saw one of us hugging by his car and another one of him touching my face. I placed my hand on my cheek remembering the way it felt.

"_Hollywood's A list celebrity Edward Cullen was seen all over town today with a mystery woman. Sources say the couple looked cozy and laughed over coffee this afternoon but our reporters were there to talk to the handsome actor first hand."_

I felt my jaw drop as I watched him being interviewed in the parking lot of the coffee shop. I had no clue that there was even a camera crew there, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Where he was, the cameras were. The interviewer asked him how his holiday vacation was going and if he was enjoying his time in Forks.

"It's never quite enough time," he said, "but I look forward to every minute I have here. It's my home."

I looked at his face and could sense the sadness in his eyes. I knew after talking with him today that he missed it here. He craved the little bit of normalcy that he felt whenever he came home. My heart ached for him and I knew that if there was a way for me to make it easier on him I would.

The reporter didn't waste much time before jumping right in with the questions about me. He asked if Edward had enjoyed his coffee date and stated that it looked like we were having a good time. Edward simply shook his head in agreeance but didn't say a word. It wasn't until the reporter asked who I was and if I was a new romance in his life that I held my breath for his response. And that's when I heard it, the one word that's haunted me since high school. The one word that should be enough but isn't…Friend.

* * *

**A/N: Well the first one is done...what do you think?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors Note:** Thank you all so much for your fabulous reviews and support for taking this story over and making it my own . Seriously, THANK YOU!

**Thanks:** My amazing beta Shwriteme. Without her this would all be a mess. heh

All you ladies in my box (heh) who helped me figure out the whole Rock band issue, nothin but love for ya.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters, Stephanie Meyer does.

**Chapter 8**

**EPOV**

"I'll call you if I'm ever in LA. I promise," she said for the third time and I still didn't believe her. She took a step away from me, turning her head to the side trying to hide her face before hurrying to her car.

I immediately missed the warmth of her presence and was left feeling confused, like I had been so many times tonight. I knew that I didn't want her to leave and that I wanted to spend more time with her. I hoped that after telling her that I'd like to keep in touch, she would reciprocate those feelings. Unfortunately she didn't.

The engine revved as she started the car and backed out of the parking spot. She glanced at me one last time and I tried to read the expression on her face. It was one that I'd seen her wear before, mostly during high school but I couldn't place it then and I couldn't place it now.

I raised my hand and waved back at her, forcing a smile to my face. As I watched her drive away I made a promise to myself that I'd try to contact her. It wouldn't be another six years before I saw her again.

The movement of three men with cameras approaching brought me out of my thoughts. I pushed away from my car and prepared myself for the onslaught I knew was coming.

As usual all it took was the paparazzi to start taking pictures and people who were once standing back, afraid to ask for my autograph, gathered around me. I spent a few minutes signing napkins, tee-shirts and random pieces of paper when I noticed one of the paparazzi had a video camera.

"Edward, can we ask you a few questions?" A tall, overly tanned man shoved his way forward and stood directly in front of me. I noticed the strong, overpowering scent of his cologne even with the distance between us. He looked just like all the other LA reporters I was used to. Apparently no matter where I went, I could never get away.

Through my hazy thoughts I realized that he'd just asked me a question and, knowing that being rude in this business wouldn't get me very far, I nodded my agreement.

"Are you having a good vacation? Does it feel good to be back in Forks?" He ran one question into the other; like a curious two-year-old that wanted to know everything all at once.

"It's never quite enough time but I look forward to every minute I have here. It's my home." As I said the words that I knew were true, I couldn't help but feel sad. I loved my job but that didn't mean I loved everything that came with it. Sometimes all I wanted was the normalcy back, and when I was home I felt that.

"We saw you having coffee earlier today. It looked like you were having a good time."

I nodded and already had an answer prepared for the next question I knew he was about to ask.

"Who was the lady you were with? A new love interest for you to share the holiday season with?"

"No, she's just a friend," I said automatically. "We haven't seen each other for a while. We were just catching up."

"So there's no romance blooming between you two?"

I smiled and shook my head, feeling slightly amused that he just came right out and asked me. I always shied away from questions that led to my personal life but it never stopped them from asking them. And there was definitely something about my relationship with Bella that felt…personal. I wasn't sure what it was but it was too personal to have plastered on the television for all to see so they could make their own biased opinions.

I answered a few more questions about rumored upcoming projects, some of which I hadn't even heard, and then told everyone I had to get going. I climbed into my car and waited another minute before pulling out of the parking lot, checking my rearview mirror to make sure no one was following me.

As soon as I was on the road I felt my body relax. I inhaled deeply and noticed and lingering smell of hazelnut coffee. I smiled, remembering where it came from. There was something endearing and adorable about watching Bella earlier today as she knocked over the table, sending our coffee crashing to the floor. The way her cheeks blushed that beautiful shade of red as she scampered around trying to clean up the mess. I knew she was pissed at me for laughing, but I couldn't hold in my amusement. It was all so refreshingly normal. She was just like the Bella I remembered.

Spending the day with her was more amazing than I'd thought possible. I felt so comfortable around her, and I couldn't place why that was. I hadn't thought about her too much over the years but being with her all day made me feel like a kid again. Memories of our time in high school came and went throughout the day and I couldn't help but think about my freshman year science crush.

**Flashback Freshman Year**

It had been the Monday after Homecoming weekend and the energy of our big win was still pulsing through the school. Of course I'd made sure to wear my Spartan High tee-shirt to show my school spirit. _After all you're only in High School once right? _

I hurried down the hallway to my first period class, anxious to see Bella and ask how her weekend went. I looked all over for her at the game on Saturday but she wasn't there. I should have known. Something about her told me she wasn't the type of girl who enjoyed sitting on wet benches in the misty haze of Forks, watching a game. She was more of a sunshine, sit on a blanket in a field while reading type of girl.

I walked into the classroom and noticed her sitting at our table, half hidden behind the bulk of her book bag while doodling away on her notebook like she always did. She lifted her head when she noticed me walk in and smiled when she saw my tee-shirt.

"What no superhero shirt today?" she asked.

I chuckled to myself, happy that she hadn't forgotten my outfit last week. "Hey!" I teased back, "I though we established that my shirt was not only awesome but that Superman _is _the ultimate superhero."

"No, I believe we established that superman is the ultimate superhero, which by the way I'm still not completely convinced of, but I never agreed that you looked awesome." Her face had a doubtful yet playful look and I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me.

"Hang on," I said, holding up my finger to stop her. "How are you _not _convinced that he's the best?"

She continued to tell me that there where plenty of other superheroes that were just as good. I didn't buy it for one second so I made her name a few, which she did. And I had to admit I was impressed with her knowledge. But none of them compared to Superman and I think she realized this because she eventually gave up.

I could feel our conversation ending and I didn't want it to. We still had a few minutes before class started so I asked if she heard that we won the game.

"How could I _not_ hear about it? It feels like a Friday around here." She rolled her eyes, looking around the room.

"Yeah everyone's still on a high I guess. The game was so good. I can't believe you didn't want to go."

"Sitting in the rain for three hours watching boys pummel each other isn't necessarily my idea of a fun Saturday."

Hearing her admit what I'd thought to be true gave me a slight thrill. I smiled at the feeling and told her with new enthusiasm how the game went. Her dark brown eyes were wide with excitement as she listened to me talk. As if what I was telling her held some secret information she was dying to know. After talking for a minute I realized I still hadn't asked her what she did all weekend. She opened her mouth to respond to my question but was cut off by Mike.

_Great 'freshman prince' Mike, just the person I wanted to interrupt. _I dropped my head into my arms and waited for it to be over. He was always vying for Bella's attention and pushing himself on her and it bothered me.

I listened painfully as he told her how much he'd love to take her to the next football game and I had to fight back the desire to tell him she wasn't interested. I wasn't completely sure that she wasn't interested. It always seemed like she was trying to find a way to let him down easy but I wasn't positive.

I waited for her to respond with the typical 'I'm not sure' or 'I have to ask my parents' but it never came. Instead she fumbled with her words and said something like, 'we'll see.'

It was the first time she'd ever given him hope of a date and I couldn't deny that I hated it. My face scrunched up like I always did when I thought about how wrong the two of them were together. Bella was too good for him.

Just when I thought the coast was clear and Mike was butting out of our conversation he turned and looked at me.

"I saw you and Tanya talking at the dance. You going after her Cullen?"

_Ugh, perfect, good job Mike. _

I automatically looked over at Bella to see her reaction. The last thing I wanted was for the girl I kinda liked to think I was going after someone else. Not the best way to win someone over. Tanya was a really nice girl and I liked her but it wasn't like that. I decided to go with the most honest answer.

"Tanya's really nice, but we're just friends." I made sure to look at Bella so she would know.

Mike took my answer for what it was and finally turned around just as Mr. Banner walked in to start class. I spent the rest of the class period thinking about Bella's response to Mike and by the time the bell rang I was determined to tell Bella that if she wanted to learn football it shouldn't be from the vial 'pretty prince Newton'.

I packed my bag quickly when class was over and waited for Bella like I always did. Walking her to class had become one of my favorite things and I didn't care that I was almost late every day because of it. She walked up to me and I gathered what little courage I had.

_You can do this Cullen, you can __**do**__ this. _

"So," I started casually, "do you think you'll go to the next home game?"

"I doubt it, why?" she said with a shrug.

_Because I can't stand the thought of you with Mike,_ I thought before actually talking. "Because if you're going and want to actually learn something about football, don't go with Mike. He thinks he knows what he's talking about but trust me he doesn't."

"Really?" she laughed, "And you do?"

I felt relieved that she didn't say anything about Mike or try to defend him in some way. "Of course, I may be small but that doesn't mean I don't know how to play. Who do you think taught Emmett all of his moves?" I asked.

"Moves? Like what kind of moves?" The corner of her mouth curved up slightly and I knew that she didn't believe me. Clearly I would have to show her.

"Oh you know…holding. Like THIS!" I quickly took a step behind her and wrapped my arms around hers, pinning them down. She screamed out my name and tried to wiggle away from me but I held her tight and leaned forward, reaching up on my toes so I could speak closer to her ear. "See, holding."

I eventually released her from my grasp and as soon as I did she fell forward laughing. Obviously she still had her doubts.

"What, you don't believe me? Ask him he'll tell you." I said confidently.

She must have felt bad for her reaction because she immediately changed her expression. Placing her hand over her mouth she tried to keep her laughter in. I had to admit she looked...cute? That wasn't a word I normally used to describe her, pretty yes, but not cute. I heard a few more giggles escape her and I couldn't help but join with her.

Pretty soon we were both laughing together earning stares from all the other students but I didn't care. I was with Bella, walking by her said and enjoying every minute of it. When we were a few feet from her next class she turned to look at me and she had a strange look in her eyes, one that I couldn't quite place.

"Hey, where is your next class anyway?"

I froze for half a second but composed myself quickly before she would notice my reaction. I never planned on her asking me that question and I had no idea how she would react if I told her the truth.

_Play it cool. People walk friends to class all the time. No big deal. _

"Oh, it's not far, just down the stairs." I shrugged. _Yes, shrugging is good; it's casual. _

"You're not late or anything right?" She looked straight at me and her eyes seemed to hold another question but she didn't ask it.

"Nah, it's no biggie. I like walking you to class." I nervously shoved my hands into my pockets and looked up at her. And at that moment, looking into her brown eyes, I felt it. I wanted to speak up. I wanted to tell her that I loved walking her to class because it gave me more time to be with her. I wanted to reach out and touch her face. I wanted to be brave enough and actually kiss her, even if it was just on the cheek. My balled up, fisted hands started to sweat and the fear of rejection washed though me. I knew that I couldn't do it. Partially because I was a chicken but mainly because of the way she was looking at me. She was simply smiling at me, sweetly, just like a…friend.

I composed my expression and pushed any crazy thought of touching her out of my mind and I smiled back. Just like a friend. "After all…" I finally said, "what are friends for, right?"

I held my breathe waiting to gauge her response, hoping that just maybe she would falter.

"Yeah…friends," She repeated back to me smiling.

I'd nodded my head as if I'd expected that response and ignored the knots that were forming in my stomach. I'd known I'd accept whatever she would offer and if friendship was it then I'd take it. I'd forced my feet to turn away from her and smiled one last time as she waved goodbye.

**Present Day**

I pulled my thoughts back from my high school days and watched the trees zip past my windshield as my car followed the familiar road home. My mind cast back over the day with Bella.

When the time had come to say goodbye it'd been harder than I'd expected and when she reached to shake my hand I knew it wasn't enough. What I hadn't been expecting were the feelings I had when I held her in my arms. Even after I pulled away I couldn't let go of her. When she finally looked up into my eyes I felt like I was fourteen all over again, standing in front of the girl who held my heart and wanting nothing more than to tell her.

We stood silently looking at each other and I wished at that moment that I could read her mind and that she could read mine. I found myself touching her cheek without even realizing what I was doing. My heart sped up and my breaths came more rapidly. I wanted to kiss her, that much I was certain of. I thought that maybe the confusion I felt earlier might have been leftover emotions from old high school feelings, but it wasn't. It wasn't just because I was remembering an old crush; it was because of who she was _today_.

Before I had the chance to make a move or gauge whether or not it was something she even wanted I noticed the paparazzi moving in, making my decision for me. I couldn't deny that I felt a bit relieved. I'd allowed myself to get too wrapped up in the moment and didn't even stop to consider the outcome. How would Bella react? What would have happened if pictures were taken? I could have very likely ruined the chance to regain a friendship that made me feel grounded in reality. She would be bombarded by the press, and followed around everywhere she went.. Yes she was used to being in the public eye and had experience with the attention but this would be different. It would be so much worse and I couldn't allow that to happen. She deserved a better life then that.

I drove the rest of the way home trying to convince myself that not kissing her was the right thing to do. The only problem was the little voice in the back of my head that kept telling me I was being a fool.

I continued to battle with the voice in my head as I walked into my house. The delicious scent of baking bread and thyme wafted in from the kitchen and I felt my stomach growl. It was one of the many things I loved about coming home around the holidays. My mom was always in the kitchen, cooking or baking something.

"Emmett Cullen, hands off!" Mom yelled.

"Come on, you know my picking is only a testament of how good your food is."

"I don't care. I need all there is or there won't be enough for the casserole."

I laughed as I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom holding up a wooden spoon in a threatening way. Emmett was leaning over the counter, fingers perched, waiting to dive into the stuffing again.

"Emmett you know Mom's not afraid of using that spoon," I said. "In fact, if I remember correctly, she broke a spoon very similar to that one, on your fingers last year."

My mother looked at me with a smirk. "It was one of my best spoons too. Bamboo if I remember correctly."

Emmett took her brief moment of distraction to quickly grab another piece of stuffing and shoved it in his mouth. Laughing at his success he grabbed his _I Phone_ off the counter and flopped down on the couch across the room.

Mom watched him with narrowed eyes, knowing what he'd done, but she couldn't hide the hint of a smile playing on the corners of her mouth. She was never one to stay mad at her sons.

"So sweetheart," she said, looking at me before turning her attention to the pan in front of her, "it looked like you had a good time with Bella today."

"Yeah I did. It was great seeing her again."

"It was," she agreed. "She really is a sweet girl."

"She's not a little girl, Mom." I laughed as I sat down on a bar stool.

"Oh, I know she's not. She's turned into quite a woman. She's attractive, successful, smart, funny--"

"Mom," I warned, knowing what she was trying to do.

"What? I'm just saying that I like her," she said innocently as she began layering the turkey into the glass dish.

I laughed quietly and absentmindedly picked at the edge of the leaf-patterned placemat that lay in the counter.

"Do you think maybe you'll be seeing her again sometime?" she asked, clearly fishing for information about Bella and me.

"I'm not sure. She said she'd call if she was ever in LA." I said in a disbelieving tone.

She looked up at me, obviously catching the tone of my voice. "And you don't believe her?"

A small part of me wanted to tell my mom about that doubts I had and how much it bothered me but couldn't. I hadn't even had a chance to figure it out yet so until I did I would have to keep it to myself.

"It's nothing," I said, shaking my head. "I'm sure she'll call if she's ever in town." I smiled up at Mom and, looking for a way out of the conversation, reached across the counter, quickly snagging a piece of stuffing and popped it in my mouth.

"Alright, alright, out of the kitchen." She waved me off and went back to assembling the left over Thanksgiving meal casserole.

I looked at the clock and knew I had some time to kill before dinner. I also knew that I most likely had a voice mail from Jessica waiting for me but I couldn't bring myself to check it.

_Vacations are called vacations for a reason_. I told myself. I needed the time away from everything that was LA and work related and if I called her I knew I'd be sucked in. But knowing Jessica she would continue to call me until I responded so I decided I'd call her after dinner.

"Hey Emmett," I called walking into the living room, "want to play some more rock band?"

Emmett looked up from his phone with a wide grin. "As long as you stop being a pansy and play expert this time, I will."

"What?"

"Oh come on. You were totally down-playing the skills earlier today."

I huffed under my breath but didn't deny his comment.

"Don't get me wrong I get it," he said holding up his hands," you wanted to make her feel good about herself, make her think she could hang with the professionals--it's cool. I do stuff like that all the time for girls I like."

"It's not like that between Bella and me."

"Sure it's not. And you didn't have a thing for her in high school either." He said, disbelief dripping from his words.

"We were always friends Em." I reminded him, trying to make myself sound convincing.

"MmmHmm."

"You want to play or not?" I asked, ending the current discussion.

Emmett grinned as he stood from the couch. "Always."

I smiled back at him, glad to have a brother that was as easy going as he was.

"I'll call you when we're ready to eat!" I heard Esme yelling as we made our way up the stairs and into Emmett's room.

Two hours later Emmett was griping about the final score as we headed down to dinner.

"There is no way that was calculated properly," he complained, taking his frustrations out on the steps, stomping louder with each step.

"I'm sure you're right because you know computers mess up on simple calculations all the time."

He stopped in the last step and turned to face me with a look of complete seriousness. "Dude, I _swear_ something was off. I was superstar, plus it's Blue Oyster Cult. Come on Edward. I fucking _own_ Blue Oyster Cult. And if I had a damn cowbell I would have rocked it with a Will Ferrell impersonation."

I simply shook my head and laughed at him while making my way into the kitchen.

"I'm serious Edward. You know that I'm right!" I heard him yelling from behind me.

"What's he yelling about?" Esme asked when she saw me walk in the room.

"A game, what else."

"You two and your competitive nature." She shook her head and laughed. "Will you go tell your dad it's time for dinner? He's out in the garage."

I made my way through the laundry room and into the garage and found my dad sitting at his work table. He was hunched over working on some sort of electric panel. One of the many things I admired about my dad was his ability to fix anything, whether it be a person on an operating table or an old alarm clock.

"Hey Dad," I called. "Dinner's ready."

"I'll be right in," he said without lifting his eyes from his work. I turned on my heel and was just about out the door when he spoke up.

"Have fun with Bella today?"

I stopped walking, turned around and leaned up against the door jam. "Yeah it was fun." I shrugged. "She hasn't changed much."

"Is that a bad thing?" He put down the set of pliers he was holding and removed his glasses, looking at me.

"Not at all, it's refreshing actually. She treated me the same as always."

"Did you expect something different?"

I thought about his question and realized that I hadn't even thought about that until this moment. If I was being honest with myself I really didn't expect anything different. Of course Bella would treat me the same as she did in high school. That's just the way she was.

"No, it's just a good feeling that's all."

"Do you think you'll see her again?" he asked, sounding a lot like Mom. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I knew where the conversation was going.

"I'm not sure. She is a friend so anything is possible."

"Yes I suppose it is," he said in a tone that seemed to imply something else entirely.

He didn't press any further and easily let the subject drop. That was where my mother and he were different. She usually got right down to the issue at hand and told you how she felt about a situation. My dad would skirt around a bit and drop little suggestions that buried themselves deep inside your mind until you were forced to obsess over them and realize he was right.

Dinner passed by uneventfully and I was still having an eternal battle with my thoughts. By the time nine o'clock rolled around I was desperate for a distraction and figured it was time to make the inevitable phone call to my publicist.

I grabbed my cell phone and flipped it open, noticing that I had six missed calls--two from Marcus, my agent, and four from Jessica. I didn't even bother listening to the voice mails I simply found Jessica's number and pressed call.

"Edward?" She answered after the first ring.

"Who else would be calling you from my phone?"

"Oh I don't know I assumed maybe it was one of your family members calling to tell me you'd been attacked by a bear and that's the reason you hadn't returned any of my calls."

"Sorry," I apologized, but didn't give a reason why I hadn't called. "What's up anyway? I thought I was calling you when I got back tomorrow?"

"Oh, you still are but I just wanted to touch base with you and tell you that you did a great job today with the unexpected interview."

As soon as she spoke I was reminded of the paparazzi from earlier today. They definitely put a damper on the goodbye I gave Bella, even if I managed to convince myself it was for the best. Either way I still had hoped to have a few days free from the public eye.

"Yeah about that. Why do I have a feeling you may have tipped them off?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, playing innocent.

"Jessica!"

"Alright fine, but I only said that you may be seen around town. I never expected for you to be having a date while you were home, _and_ with Bella Swan!"

I groaned internally. I had secretly hoped that by some miracle Jessica would not be able to notice Bella from the pictures but I should have known that would be impossible. Bella was someone people couldn't help but notice.

"So what were you guys doing together? Did you have this all planned before you left?"

"No I didn't have it planned before I left. I haven't seen her since high school. I bumped into her at the grocery store and we decided to catch up."

"That's it?" she asked, disappointment clear in her voice.

"That's it." I tried to put as much conviction into the statement as possible.

"I was hoping for a holiday romance. You know; two friends who used to have a thing for each other meet up and finally get together." Her voice sounded wistful as if she was describing her favorite romance novel. I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Sorry to disappoint you Jess, but Bella and I are just friends. Always were always will be."

"Suuuure you were _just_ friends. Edward we went to the same high school together, remember? And if I remember correctly freshman year you had a thing for her."

I almost wanted to correct her and tell her I had a small thing for Bella all through out high school but I tried not to admit that to myself so I wasn't about to admit it to Jessica.

"Honestly, we're just friends," I repeated.

"Yeah you said that already and I'm not entirely sure I believe you but I'm pretty sure the public did. You sounded pretty convincing in the interview."

"Wait you saw it already?" I shouldn't have been surprised. Pictures would be on the internet hours after they're taken and the juicier the subject matter the faster they're up.

"It was on TV earlier tonight, not hat I expect you to know that since you never watch those shows."

"Did they just show the interview then?"

"That and they flashed pictures of you and Bella. Some were at the coffee shop and there were a few at your car hugging."

"Ugh," I groaned, feeling awful for dragging Bella into this. "Did they say anything about her?"

"They had no clue it was even her. But I do have a feeling people are going to flip when they find out it was _the_ Bella Swan, famous author."

"That's _if _they find out, not when. Do me a favor and don't tell anyone. I want to give Bella some privacy and she won't get that if people think her and I are an item."

"Edward, I'm doing my job. Any publicity—"

"Is good publicity," I finished for her. "Look, I know that but just this once let's not say anything. People will probably find out sooner or later anyway," I added, in attempt to appease her, "so let's just wait and see." The line was silent for a while until finally she spoke up.

"Fine," she huffed, "but you get to explain it to Marcus. I'm sick and tired of explaining things to him."

"I'll handle it. I have to return a call to him anyway."

"Alright, you take care of him and I'll see you tomorrow at the meeting." She hung up quickly before I had a chance to ask her if she was the one to spill information about the projects I had coming up. Why I'd even bother asking was beyond me, of course she was the person to do it.

I spent the next little while on the phone with Marcus working out the details for tomorrows meeting. Apparently Aro, my agent, had found a few projects that he thought I would be interested in. Some of them were to begin filming as soon as next month and there were a few that they were still waiting on complete screenplays for. Either way I was assured I'd have a lot of options to keep me busy for the New Year.

I crawled into bed later that night partially dreading heading back to LA in the morning. I had a feeling that I wouldn't make it home for Christmas and not knowing when I'd be back bothered me. Every time I came home I left missing it more than the last time and this time it felt even worse. I felt like I was leaving more behind or should I say _someone_ behind. I didn't have to think hard to know who it was. My only hope was that she would be making a trip to LA soon and that she'd actually do what she promised, and call me.

* * *

**Don't you love being inside dear Edward's head and hear what he's thinking??? *sigh***


	9. Chapter 9

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**Authors Note:** So yeah it's been what... a month?? Sorry about that, I was finishing up my other story. Now that it's done I'm focused on this one and I promise it won't take me a month before I update again.

Voting is open for the Eddie and Bellie Awards, my other story Stitches and Scars was nominated and tons of other fabulous stories, so go show some support!! Links are on my profile.

Thanks to my amazing beta Shwriteme. Without her this would all be a hot mess.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters, Stephanie Meyer does.

**EPOV**

_Ladies and Gentlemen, we'll be making our descent into Los Angeles in the next twenty minuets. Skies are clear, sun is shining and the temperature is reading a cool 62 degrees. _

The captain's voice over the intercom woke me from my light sleep. Rubbing my face, I sat up and tried to force my eyes open. I didn't get much sleep the night before--my mind too full with the happenings of the day.

I kept replaying every last detail of the few hours I'd spent with Bella. I could hear her laugh echo in my mind and see her face when I closed my eyes. Part of me was frustrated beyond belief that she was stuck in my head, that I couldn't stop thinking about her. And the other part of me was so happy that it didn't matter that I lay awake in my bed dwelling on the way her face looked when it blushed red. It was something I always loved about her in high school and I was so thankful she hadn't outgrown it.

I must have repeated her words, "I'll call you if I'm ever in LA," at least a thousand times, attempting to make myself believe it. But every time I came to the same conclusion. She wasn't being honest with me and I couldn't understand why.

"Sir, will you please put your seat forward?" I heard a female voice speak up from the aisle next to me and I looked up.

A tall blonde smiled down at me. She dropped her eyes and raked them over my body in a way that was anything but subtle.

"Thanks." I nodded pushing the little silver button that would return my seat to the upright position.

"So are you in town long or do you have another project coming up?" She asked in an almost purr.

I was used to the attention and the sometimes forward behavior I received from women since I began in this business, but sometimes it caught me off guard.

"Yes actually. I'll be in town for a little while." I replied, keeping my tone polite.

I had enough experience with women like this to know they were after only one thing. And although in the past women like this were harder for me to spot, it was easier now. I learned what to look for. Nothing about the way she looked at me or talked seemed sincere; she was most likely only interested because of my name, nothing more.

"I was hoping you'd say that," she reached into her front pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. "Call me if you ever want some…_company_. I'm in LA a _lot_." She bent down and placed the slip of paper in my hand and gave me a quick wink before walking away.

I heard the deep chuckle from the man next to me and glanced over at him quickly.

"I bet you're used to that," he said, fingering his mustache. "Young Hollywood star like yourself must have ladies shoving numbers at you, begging you to call them."

I half nodded, half shook my head at him, laughing because he couldn't have been more right. It wasn't uncommon for women to give me their numbers while saying something laced with innuendo. I never took them up on their offer but it didn't stop them from trying. I was more interested in meeting a girl the old fashion way. Getting to know them first and then going out on actual dates. In this business that was almost impossible but I tried. There were enough pictures of me out there with different women for people to assume I was a player. It didn't matter if they were friends or not, the public saw what they wanted to see.

Just thinking about the way pictures were twisted and turned into something they weren't made me think of the ones that were taken the day before--the ones of Bella and me together. I still hadn't seen them and wasn't sure I wanted to. I already felt awful for putting Bella in the spotlight and I knew that if I saw them it would make me feel even worse.

I was so caught up with thoughts of Bella that I didn't notice that the man next to me was still talking. I blinked quickly, trying to clear my head and turned to look at him. His leathery skin was stretched over his cheeks as he smiled at me expectantly.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked.

"I said are you going to give her a call? She seems like a nice young lady."

"Uh, probably not," I said, shaking my head.

"Not your type." He stated as if he knew what my reasoning was.

I didn't feel like explaining that I wasn't the type of guy to call up random girls for a one-night stand. Not that it had never happened before, but it wasn't something I made a habit of. The few times it had happened it always ended awkward. I even had a girl ask me to introduce her to my agent the next morning, apparently not at all interested in a second date. I found it very easy to believe why other celebrities said it was impossible to be in a relationship in this business. I was starting to believe that myself.

I decided to let the man think his assumption was right and nodded my head.

As soon as we touched ground I pulled out my cell phone and turned the power on. My first line of business was to ensure I wasn't hounded by people as I walked through the airport. It wasn't a problem when I was home, but here in LA people were always on the lookout for celebrities.

I scrolled though my list of numbers and stopped for a second when I reached Bella's. I found my thumb hovering over the button, fighting off the desire to talk to her. We hadn't said anything about not talking to each other once we left Forks and it _was_ a common thing for friends to do. I didn't know where I wanted our relationship to go but I knew I wanted to keep in touch with her, even if it was just as friends. I felt a slight stir of something in my stomach and smiled with this newfound conclusion.

I scrolled past her number, knowing I'd come back to it later and called my assistant Kate.

She answered on the first ring as though she'd been waiting for my call. "I was just going to try calling you. She said, without saying hello first.

"I just touched down." I said, pulling on my baseball hat in an attempt to cover my unruly hair.

"Great, Lamani should be there waiting when you get off. I can tell you right now it's going to be crazy after the last few days. Everyone is wondering who this mystery girl is and they are dying to catch you two together again."

"Yeah, I bet."

"And I take it you're not going to tell me?"

"Would it stop you from finding out?" I asked, knowing what her answer would be.

"No, I'll just call Jessica--and I know she has to have more information than me."

I couldn't help but groan at her comment. To be honest I was surprised that she hadn't already talked to Jessica and figured everything out before I got here.

"Don't bother Kate." I said her name a little louder then necessary as I walked past the flight attendant who still hadn't taken her eyes off me, and made my way from the plane. "Jessica has been sworn to keep her mouth shut on the subject."

"Then I'll just wait to get the information from you." The tone of her voice sounded confident. "Come on, Edward. I didn't even call you during your vacation. Doesn't that count for something?"

I was quiet for a minute as I walked through the terminal, trying to ignore the looks I was getting. "Fine, I'll tell you about it later." I finally said, earning a laugh in return.

"Okay. Look your meeting is in an hour, I'll make sure your luggage gets to your house and I'll see you there. Call me if you need anything."

"I will."

"Oh and Edward," she said before hanging up.

"Yes?"

"I won't forget to ask."

"I'm sure you won't." I said with a laugh before saying goodbye and flipping my phone shut.

Kate had been my assistant for the past few years. I met her through her boyfriend Garrett who'd been a make-up artist for a movie I was filming. After having the whole 'yes I do make-up and yes I'm a guy,' conversation we became good friends. He ended up doing my next few movies and somewhere along the line introduced me to Kate. She was in need of a job and I had finally come to the realization that I needed an assistant. We hit if off and she'd been working for me ever since.

I walked though the terminal and was just within sight of security when I saw Lamani. A large Tongan who stood at nearly 6'6" and easily 320 pounds was hard to miss. He's the only person I've known, personally, who was bigger then Emmett, which made him perfect for security. He saw me and nodded his head in acknowledgment. Standing behind him I could see a few guys with cameras poised and ready. How they always find me I'm never quite sure, but they do.

Sure enough, as soon as I passed the gate a swarm of people rushed me with flashing cameras and a buzz of questions about my holiday weekend. Lamani stood next to me with his arm outstretched to make sure none of them got too close.

The combination of passengers in the airport, fans trying to get autographs and paparazzi taking pictures was complete mayhem. It took us a good fifteen minutes to make it into the shadows of the parking garage where a black suburban with dark tinted windows was waiting for us. We both climbed in; me in the back and Lamani up front. It felt good to be in the silence of the car and Lamani was never one for talking. After a brief 'how was your vacation' the conversation ended and we got on the highway. We sat in comfortable silence like we often did, and I gazed out the window.

The California sun was bright, shining and completely opposite to where I'd spent the past weekend. The cloud cover of Forks had never bothered me much, but I had to admit I loved the warmth of California.

When I first moved here it had all been so exciting--the hype of my first big movie, signing on with Aro, working with big celebrities who I'd always respected. I was in a constant state of euphoria. It wasn't until the last year or two that things started to get crazy.

It seemed that everywhere I went I was being followed--paparazzi around every corner. The fans became more aggressive and felt as if I owed them something--the next big movie, more interviews, more pictures. It was a bit overwhelming. I was constantly reminding myself not to loose track of who I really was. Of course my mom made sure to remind me on a weekly basis that while I may be a famous actor, I'm still her youngest boy.

Thinking of her made me realize that I hadn't called her yet. It was an unspoken rule that I call her when I land. I flipped my phone open and dialed her number. The answering machine picked right up so I assumed she was on the other line. After leaving a message I closed my phone and almost put it away--but hesitated.

I flipped it open again and scrolled down. It didn't take long to get to Bella's name; after all I didn't have many friends whose names started with A. For the second time today my finger hovered over the button debating my next move.

In the brief time I'd been home something had changed. I always knew I missed the normalcy of everyday life. I missed being able to talk to someone and have them treat me like I was just a regular guy. I knew all of this and I knew I wanted it. But after the past few days I didn't just want it, I craved it, I needed it. And I was beginning to think that it was because of Bella. Being with her felt like an escape, and the feeling was something I couldn't quite describe. It always feels great to go home, but things change. Your friends move away and the town grows. It never quite feels like the home you remember. But visiting with Bella really made me feel that connection to my past—like really going home.

I continued to stare at my phone, my finger poised and ready, debating what my next move would be.

_You're friends. Friends contact each other all the time. _I told myself.

I took a deep breath in and held it as I started punching the keys. When I was finished I exhaled and read over my text.

_**Hi. Just thought I'd let you know that it's sunny and warm here in LA. Is it still raining there?**_

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at myself. Was I really going to text her about the weather? It seemed completely ridiculous and random and I almost pressed delete but I didn't. Instead I pushed send.

After all I could be ridiculous and random with Bella. That was one of the things I liked about her. I could easily remember a few conversations from high school that were based on nothing of importance.

I held my phone in my hand, staring at it, waiting to see if I'd get a response. Five minutes passed and I still hadn't received anything. Giving up with a shrug, I put my phone down and sat back, closing my eyes. I yanked my hat off and ran my fingers through my hair. Depending on traffic I had some time to kill and the sleep deprivation was slowly starting to catch up to me.

I must have fallen asleep because the sound of my phone beeping woke me. I sat up rubbing my eyes and grabbed the phone off the seat. I smiled when I saw her name appear on my little screen.

_**Don't rub it in. Yes it's still raining. How was your flight?**_

Apparently the weather was a perfect subject. I smiled, pleased to see that I could have this small part of my past—this part of Bella.

_**I'm only rubbing it in because I know you'll be gone in a day. Arizona must be nice this time of year. Flight was good, nothing eventful.**_

This time I didn't have to wait long for a response.

_**It is nice this time of year. What, no one ask u to join the mile high club? **_

I laughed out loud when I read her mile high comment, earning a look from Lamani. I just shook my head at him and went back to typing out a response. It was fun to see this playful side of her, the teasing side I was so used to. I knew the texting made it easier, surely if we were face to face her cheeks would be scarlet after a statement like that.

_**No mile high club this flight. Give me some credit. **_

_**Well you r the famous Edward Cullen. And what happened to the weather discussion? **_

_**Weather is nice, but mile high club is better. And what does me being famous have to do with it?**_

_**More then u know. **_

_**U r famous**_

_**Yes but I'm an author. That is way different then actor. **_

_**How so?**_

_**I don't have paparazzi following me around while I'm on vacation taking pictures of me hanging out with my friend. **_

I rolled my eyes at her response. She was right, of course she was right. Those were my exact thoughts just a day ago. I did always have people following me, and I always would. Most people enjoyed being in the spotlight but I knew Bella well enough to know that wasn't something she strived for. Again I heard a voice in the back of my mind reminding me that this was just another reason we could never be more then friends. She deserves more then the life she'd have with me by her side. Drawing attention and being scrutinized by the public.

I couldn't tell by her text if she was upset or not. Either way I felt awful for putting her in that situation and felt like I should apologize.

_**Sorry about that. I said we were friends but people tend to think what they want. **_

I waited for a response but nothing came. Five minutes passed and there was still nothing. The car came to a stop and I looked out the window. We were parked in front of my agent's towering office. The little 'Forks bubble' I'd been in just a moment ago popped and I knew it was time to get back to reality.

I let out a huff of air, shoved my phone in my pocket, pulled on my hat, and opened the door to the warm LA sun.

"Edward," Aro exclaimed, reaching his arms out, "I take it you had a nice flight?"

"As good as it can be." I said, rubbing my hand over my neck working out imaginary kinks.

"Well that's wonderful." The dramatic tone of his voice always made me laugh.

Aro was one of the best agents in the business. He was overly confident, flamboyant in everything he did, and always managed to get whatever he wanted. I was lucky to have him.

"Let's not waste any time and get right down to business shall we? I'm sure everyone else will be along shortly. Now," he said taking a seat, "I've already discussed some of these offers with Marcus so he is aware of them."

"Are these the same offers you wanted to release to the public before I even signed on?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

Jessica told me that it would be great publicity to release information about some of the jobs I'd been offered. But it wasn't something I liked doing, considering I hadn't even accepted them yet, or seen them for that matter.

"I take it Jessica told you?"

"Publicity _is_ her job."

"And she, my dear Edward, is one of the best."

"I knew my ears my burning for a reason. And Aro, you are too kind." Jessica's voice filled the room and I turned in my seat. She looked at me, grinning and walked in the room, Kate and Marcus following behind her.

Kate and Marcus worked closely together; they both took care of anything related to my job outside of the contracts and legal aspect that came with accepting offers. The only difference between them was that Kate's responsibilities were more personal and Marcus's more professional. They both kept me on track and my hectic life in order.

Kate greeted me with a smile, her upbeat personality radiating from her. She took a seat next to me and handed me a print out of my calendar for the next year. Marcus sat down next to her and nodded his head toward me in acknowledgment.

We spent the next thirty minutes going over the offers that had come in recently. A few of them were for projects scheduled to begin filming at the start of the New Year and some not until later.

"We're waiting for a copy of the final script for the Twilight Entertainment production. It's based on a novel that has quite the following. Apparently it's going to be huge. This is great because they're interested in you." Aro said. I could see the dollar sings dancing in his eyes.

"Already casting and they don't have a complete script yet? Isn't that a little out of order?" Marcus asked, reading my mind.

"Oh no, no, no. They've assured me that it will be finished within the month. By Christmas we should have it." He turned and looked at me. "They just want to make sure you're kept in the loop. You're the only one they are interested in."

Whether Aro was telling the truth of not I didn't know--he was always good with flattery. Either way I was willing to keep my options open and wait to see what this script was all about. I'd been around long enough to know that movies based on books could either go very well or very poorly.

"I'll keep my options open. I'd like to read it at least, so make sure it gets sent to me while I'm home for Christmas."

Upon hearing my comment Aro looked over at Marcus and then me. I knew something was up because I could see the silent discussion going on between the two of them.

"What?" I asked.

"The Paramount feature you were scheduled to start filming in the middle of January moved its date up. They need to start in three weeks." Marcus said, "Which means that you'll be spending Christmas in Prague."

I couldn't deny that I was upset, although I had a feeling something like this might happen. I was looking forward to spending more then three days at home for a holiday and this year I'd been particularly excited. I knew why that was, but I wasn't going to dwell on it now. Instead I just nodded my head and continued on with our discussion about the upcoming production.

Just as our meeting was wrapping up I heard the beep of my cell phone signaling I'd received a text. I wanted to flip it open at the exact moment I heard it and see if it was from Bella but made myself wait until we were finished.

"I'll wait to hear back from Marcus about what films you decide to sign on for. Remember you're Edward Cullen; you accept the projects that look promising." Aro commented, patting my back. "I'll take care of the rest."

I knew that he was trying to be supportive and make me feel like I had options before me, but in reality it just put more weight on my shoulders. The pressure to stay on top and make the next best movie was always there, pressing down on me.

"Thanks Aro, I'll remember that." I said with a laugh, attempting to alleviate the nerves that came with being the _Edward Cullen_, as he put it, and walked out of his office.

Marcus and I talked for another few minutes about things that would need to re-arranged with the change in filming dates and left with a list of things to do. I looked around the office and noticed that Jessica and Kate were nowhere to be found. Assuming they were probably off talking to each other I took the moment alone to pull out my cell phone; which felt as if it were burning a hole in my pocket.

I flipped it open. Sure enough it was from Bella. My heart beat sped up and I pressed the _Read_ button.

_**Don't be sorry, I understand.**_

I tried to feel relief as I read her words. At least she wasn't mad at me. She was telling me that she understood my situation. But for some reason I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to her message. And her words made my stomach give a little flip of disappointment.

**BPOV**

_I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour, _

_I'll be there for you, like I've been there before. _

_I'll be there for you, 'cause you there for me too. _

My alarm clock went off filling the room with the sounds of the _Rembrandts_. Only in Forks would they be playing a song from the early nineties and of course it would have to be _this_ song. A song from the show _friends_.

"Friends," I sneered at the word that haunted my life for so long. I pulled the covers back and reached over to shut off my alarm clock with a little more force then necessary. Never in my life had I thought I'd hate the word friend but it was definitely becoming a possibility.

I trudged down the stairs and could smell the coffee brewing in the kitchen before I even entered. It helped perk my spirits slightly but not completely.

"Someone having a rough start?" My mother asked eyeing me.

"I'm fine, just a little tired," I lied, trying to make myself sound believable.

"MmmHmm," she said, sipping from her mug. I was never good at hiding things from my mother; she knew me better then I did sometimes. But she also knew enough not to push to find out what was bothering me. If I wanted to talk about it I would.

"Did you have any plans for today?"

"Nope, I think I'll just hang around here and maybe get some writing done."

"Okay. Let me know if you change your mind. I'm going to that kitchen supply store later and you can come if you want."

"Thanks Mom, I'll let you know." I said with a smile. It was great to see that she was serious about expanding her cooking skills.

She nodded her head and headed out of the kitchen, leaving me to my thoughts. I sat silently looking around the room. The clock on the wall told me it was later then I thought and I felt my heart start to pound. Last night I'd told myself that I'd call Esme this morning and, at the time, it seemed like a rational thought. I wanted a night to sleep and prepare myself for whatever she was going to say. But now, in the light of the morning I realized I felt even more nervous. Waiting had only given my mind more opportunity to conjure up all sorts of possibilities. I had no clue what she wanted but I had a feeling it was about my book.

I took a large gulp of coffee enjoying the sensation of the heat as it traveled down my throat and through my chest. I decided to give myself a few hours before I called her. That way I could get some writing done. My reasoning might also have something to do with the fact that Edward would be home if I called right now and I didn't feel like dealing with the stress of that on top of the phone call.

_Later_, I decided. _I'll call later_.

I grabbed a yogurt and a leftover roll from last night's dinner and climbed the stairs to my bedroom. Pulling on my favorite grey hoodie I snuggled down under the covers and got out my laptop. It opened with a creak and I smiled as I turned it on.

Alice was always making fun of my old-fashioned computer, kind of how we make fun of Zack Morris and his large cell phone that looked like a cordless house phone from the eighties. I always laughed along with her but I couldn't bring myself to part with it, not yet at least.

It was the first big purchase I'd ever made and the fact that I bought it during my college years brought me even more pride. I'd worked two jobs all summer and used part pf my car fund so I could afford it. I was determined to get every penny's worth out of it. Of course at the time I never thought I'd use it to write a novel, let alone one what would one day be a best seller. Because of that it had sentimental value and I knew I could never get rid of it. As I listened to the hum of the hard drive my mind wandered back to the day when I first sat down behind its shiny black keys.

**Three Years Ago**

_It's worth it, it's worth it. You'll never have to go to the library again to do research, believe me, it's worth it. _

I had been reciting the phrase over and over in my mind my entire walk home. I knew that purchasing a laptop was a huge splurge, but I also knew the benefits of having one. Alice had been telling me all summer long to just break down and buy it. And I finally gave in.

I clutched the box to my chest, holding onto it for dear life. The hot Arizona sun was beating down and the sweat of my hands made the smooth surface slippery. I stopped to re-adjust my grasp and nearly got knocked over by a tall guy in the process.

"Stupid beginning of the school year crowds." I mumbled to myself as I tired to gather my bearings.

The box was anything but heavy but the price I shelled out for it made it feel like it weighed a ton. I placed the overly priced laptop on the sidewalk and took a calming breath. The streets were crowded with students getting ready for the start of new school year, marking the official ending of my summer.

I wiped my sweaty palms on my shorts and picked up the box again, saying a silent prayer that I'd make it the last few blocks with no mishaps. By the time I reached my front porch I could hear music blaring out of the windows and what sounded like Alice's crystal-clear voice belting out in song.

_A few times I've been around that track so it's not just gonna happen like that, cause I ain't to hollaback girl I ain't no hollaback girl._

I balanced the box on my hip and swung the screen door open. The room was filled with boxes and I could just barely make out Alice's jet black spiky hair over top of them.

"Alice!" I yelled, tying to get her attention as I weaved through the sea of cardboard.

She remained completely oblivious and continued bobbing up and down, dancing her way around the room and singing every word at the top of her lungs. I placed my laptop on one of the boxes and walked toward her, yelling her name a second time. I saw her little body jump and she spun around to face me.

"Bella!" she squealed and danced toward me, grabbing my hands attempting to get me to join her. I was never one for dancing but there were always exceptions--Alice was one of them. We spent the next ten songs dancing around the room as we unpacked and eventually collapsed on the couch.

"I'm so glad we got this place. I have a feeling we're going to make some great memories here" Alice said looking around the room.

I looked around the room and nodded. "I think so too."

After spending all of last year hanging out at each others apartments Alice and I decided that this year we were getting a place of our own. By some miracle Alice was able to find a little house that was within walking distance to campus. It needed a little bit of work but Alice's boyfriend Jasper was handy and between the three of us and some paint the place was perfect.

"So…" Alice said breaking the silence and looking at me with a mischievous glint. "Jasper and I are going to The Logan House in an hour with a friend and wanted to know if you'd like to join us."

"You mean you want me to go on a double date with you and Jasper."

She bit down on her lip and I could see the gears in her head working. "It's not a date exactly…"

"Since when is going out with a guy _not_ considered a date?" I asked.

She thought about it for another second before giving up with a huff. "Bella come on, just come with us. You hardly ever go out, let alone date."

"Hey! I date." I defended.

"Going to watch a volleyball game and then coming straight home is not considered a date."

"It was with a guy and we were out together; that's a date, Alice."

"Fine so it was a date. That was how long ago?"

"I don't know," I said, dropping my head, playing with the fringe on the pillow.

"Two months Bella--two months."

"So." I shrugged.

"So," she repeated. "That's two months too long."

I remained quiet and thought about what she said. I knew I needed to go out with more guys but to be honest I didn't want too. It wasn't that I didn't like guys and enjoy their company it was just that I had this small problem with comparing them to someone. Okay so maybe it was more then a small problem. It was a big problem. I never told Alice about my tendency to compare every guy I ever dated to my first crush. My first crush that just so happen to start back in high school and was still unhealthily present almost seven years later. I tried to get over him, to forget his green eyes and perfectly disheveled hair but I couldn't. Of course it didn't help that in the past year his face was plastered all over magazine covers.

Edward would always be there, and I was slowly starting to see that this was becoming an issue, an issue that I had to deal with.

"Alright," Alice said breaking my train of thought. "You don't have to go on the date. How about we all just go out together in a group?"

"Can I take a rain check?" I asked. "I want to get settled and play around with my new laptop." I said hoping to distract her from the current discussion.

"You got it!" Alice squealed jumping off the couch and looking around the room.

"Sure did." I stood up and walked over to the box holding it out to her.

"Bella you are _not _going to regret buying it. Every English major should have one and frankly I can't believe you waited this long."

"I know." I agreed.

There was a slight pause in conversation and I was nervous that Alice was going to use it as an opportunity to start talking "dating" again so I was grateful when her phone rang. Thankfully it was Jasper and Alice got caught up in conversation with him. I was able to sneak off and head to my bedroom.

I spent the next hour or so downloading the operating system and software. It was a pretty mundane task and because of that I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. I kept thinking about what Alice said about my dating life.

I never thought that the feelings I had for Edward in high school were something I'd be dealing with in college but I was. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about him. I couldn't stop my heart from pounding at the very sound of his name and I couldn't stop myself from searching magazine articles desperately hoping to find information about him. It was ruining any chance I had at finding someone else remotely interesting and most definitely keeping my heart closed off. It was ridiculous and it had to stop.

Feeling a newfound sense of determination I pulled up a blank document on my new computer. I stared at the cursor for a few minutes, thinking about what I was planning. Then I started to type.

I began at the beginning, the very first moment I saw him. I laughed as I remembered things I hadn't thought about in years and pretty soon the memories were flowing so freely I could barely keep up with them.

I'm not sure how much time I spent in front of my computer but I didn't want to stop. It was refreshing and I kept telling myself it would only get better. With every key stroke, every word, I found myself forming a plan in the back of my mind, a plan to get over Edward Cullen.

I'd write down everything, I'd remember all the things I loved about him, all the moments we shared. I'd write our story. Except I'd write it my way--the way I always dreamed it would end and not the real way it ended.

I'd been determined that once I wrote it down everything would be better. I'd told myself that I'd finally be able to close off that part of my life and move on.

**Present day**

The sound of the fan whirring brought me out of my thoughts and my eyes focused on the screen in front of me. I opened my file of possible story outlines and read them over deciding which one held the most interest to me at the moment. It seemed that I could never steer clear of romance. No matter how much adventure, humor or drama I wanted there was always a romantic story line intertwined within it. I blamed it on Jane Austen and Bronte but I knew it was just my nature. I may not get my happily ever after in real life, but I was determined to make sure my characters did.

I spent the next few hours writing and when I finally sat back to relax, I noticed it was later then I thought. And that only meant one thing. I'd delayed the inevitable long enough and it was time to call Esme. I pushed my computer off my lap and grabbed my cell phone off the dresser.

With shaky fingers I scrolled through my call log and found the number I recognized as the Cullen's. Taking a deep breath I pressed call. I paced back and forth in front of my bed, counting the rings and silently hoping the machine would pick up or better yet it would just ring and ring and I'd have to hang up. At least then I could say I tried.

On ring number five I heard Esme's sweet voice answer. I was silent for a second, forgetting why it was that I was calling in the first place. I heard her speak again and quickly realized I hadn't said a word.

"Hi Esme its Bella," I blurted out, sounding more frantic then I'd hoped. I dropped my head and hit the palm of my hand on my forehead, berating myself for being such an idiot.

"Hello dear. Thank you for returning my call."

"Sure, no problem." I said, trying to sound calm. I decided to get right to the point. No reason dragging out my torture longer then necessary. "You said you wanted to talk to me about something?" I held my breath waiting for her to speak.

"Yes I did. It has to do with your book. And I want you to be honest with me and tell me if this will make you uncomfortable."

_Oh boy here we go. _My pacing came to a complete stop and I started twisting a strand of hair around my finger. I kept my eyes squeezed shut and cringed waiting for the inevitable impact of her question. Biting on my bottom lip I muffled out an "MmmHmm."

"I wanted to ask if you would be willing to attend one of my book club meetings and discuss your book sometime in December. Of course I'm assuming you'll be home for Christmas."

My jaw dropped and I was speechless, as relief coursed through me. This was definitely not the question I was expecting her to ask. It took a second for me to respond.

"Okay?" I said in the tone of a question.

She started laughing. "Bella you don't have to. If it makes you feel uncomfortable I understand."

"No," I assured her, suddenly feeling ridiculous for my reaction. "I answer questions about my book all the time I just-"

"Yes dear but I'm sure you don't discuss it in front of the mother of the boy your novel was based on."

Wow, leave it to Esme Cullen to just lay it all out there. The nervousness rushed back, tenfold. I assumed she knew after the way she acted yesterday but I was desperately hoping maybe she didn't. _Hey a girl can dream right? _

"I…I…well I don't…I mean….what I mean is…" Every word I attempted came out garbled and I couldn't even begin to form a coherent sentence.

"It's okay," she assured. "I haven't said anything and I don't plan on it. Edward is an intelligent young man he can figure out on his own, unless of course you decide to tell him."

"No." I practically shouted. "I mean, it was years ago and…and I don't want him thinking it has anything to do with…you know, my current feelings. It was just a book and I needed to base it on something and he was a friend." I tried to keep my voice calm and collected but I was failing miserably.

"Of course dear, I understand completely."

The line went silent and I took as my cue to start talking. "I'd love to come speak to your book club Esme. I'll be home from the 21st through the 27th so anytime between those days would work."

"That's perfect, I was thinking about something on the afternoon of the 22nd."

"I'll put it in my calendar." I said, smiling.

"Great. I'll let you know what time we'll be meeting. Thanks again for doing this."

"No problem." My nerves were slowly calming and I was thankful that Esme was so easy to talk to. She was one of the few people who now knew about the reality of my book and I thought the fact that she was Edward's mom would make it harder, but surprisingly it didn't. Of course it helped that she thought I no longer had feelings for him.

"I know I said this before but it really was great seeing you yesterday and I could tell Edward had a good time."

"Yeah well," I fought to get the words out, "he's a good friend."

She didn't respond and for a minute I thought maybe she'd hung up. I looked at my phone to make sure the call hadn't ended. When I saw it hadn't I pressed the receiver back to my ear. "Give him time Bella. He'll come around, I know it's there," she said softly.

I didn't know what to say so I stayed quiet.

"I'll call you when I know the details of the meeting. Have a good flight back home sweetheart."

I managed to say okay and hung up the phone without another word. Clearly my assumptions that she didn't know about my current feelings were wrong. She knew.

No sooner had I snapped my phone shut that it beeped telling me I had a text. I smiled knowing that it was probably from Alice and flipped it open. I froze. It wasn't Alice, it was Edward. I sat down not paying attention to the location of my bed and ended up missing it entirely. Instead I landed on the floor with a thump.

It was amazing that one little name could send my heart into overdrive--that it could make my head feel light and my smile to stretch further then I thought possible. I took a deep breath and pushed the button to read it.

_**Hi. Just thought I'd let you know that it's sunny and warm here in LA. Is it still raining there?**_

The smile that I thought was as big as it could get grew even wider and I giggled out loud. After all who asks about the weather?

I wasn't expecting to get a text from him and after the way things ended last night I didn't know what to think. It was pretty clear to me that he just wanted to be friends even if there was a moment where I thought maybe he felt differently. I couldn't forget the way he hugged me and touched my face. Part of me dared to believe that just maybe there was something there for him and that I should do just like Esme said, give him time. But then the rational part of me screamed that I was being insane. It was never going to happen.

I had to make a decision. One that up until now I thought would be impossible. Could I just be his friend? For so long I'd said no. I knew there was no way I'd be able to ignore my feelings and keep things casual. But if I wanted him in my life then maybe this was the only way. Maybe I could be his friend.

I closed my phone and decided I needed some time to think before responding. I grabbed my towel, toiletries bag and headed into the bathroom. If there was one thing showers were great for it was calming nerves and helping me think clearly.

By the time I was done and my hair was dried I had come to a decision. I was going to try it. I was going to be Edward's friend. It may be hard at first, but having him in my life this way was better then nothing.

I walked back into my room and picked up my phone, quickly texting him back.

_**Don't rub it in. Yes it's still raining. How was your flight?**_

I tried to keep it light and just as random as his had been. Friendly, I was going for friendly. I pressed send and a few seconds later got one back.

_**I'm only rubbing it in because I know you'll be gone in a day. Arizona must be nice this time of year. Flight was good, nothing eventful.**_

_**It is nice this time of year. What, no one ask u to join the mile high club? **_

I held my breath and waited for his response. Hoping he'd play along with my teasing; which was a lot easier to do via text.

_**No mile high club this flight. Give me some credit. **_

_This flight? What is that supposed to mean?_ The image of Edward on a flight, flirting with a tall leggy blonde flashed in my mind and my stomach churned. My breath caught and I felt a wave of nausea sweep over me. I swallowed slowly and forced the feeling aside. _Friend Bella, you're his friend. _I narrowed my eyes and focused while quickly writing back.

_**Well you r the famous Edward Cullen. And what happened to the weather discussion? **_

_**Weather is nice, but mile high club is better. And what does me being famous have to do with it?**_

_Pffft, _I rolled my eyes_. Being famous has everything to do with it. No wait scratch that, being the famous Edward Cullen has everything to do with it. _

_**More then u know. **_

_**U r famous**_

_**Yes but I'm an author. That is way different then actor. **_

_**How so?**_

I thought carefully before I wrote my response. I hesitated slightly on the last word but forced myself to type it. After all if my plan was going to work I was going to have to get used to the word and learn not to hate it so much.

_**I don't have paparazzi following me around while I'm on vacation taking pictures of me hanging out with my friend. **_

I took a deep breath and pressed send. Ten seconds later I got a text back. .

_**Sorry about that. I said we were friends but people tend to think what they want. **_

I stared at his response, swallowing back the pain that was starting to work its way into my chest.

_I want this, I want this. We're just going to be friends. This is my plan and I'm sticking to_ _it_.

I continued to repeat my mantra over in my head when my mom came to my door.

"Hey you want to go with me to that kitchen store?"

"Sure," I nearly leapt off my bed and out the door, desperate to leave the house and clear my head. I shoved my phone in my pocket and told myself I'd respond later, after I had a chance to think of what to say. It had to be something smart and witty, something that a friend would say; something that didn't betray the terrible ache in my gut that grew more intense every time he used the word.

"Everything alright?" Mom asked as we drove. We were already in Port Angeles and I'd been silent the entire trip. She could tell something was wrong.

"I'm great." I nodded. "Better, I'm better or at least I'm getting there." I tried to sound convincing, after all if I couldn't convince Renee, I didn't have a chance with convincing myself.

"So you're better? Or you're at least getting better?" She asked, trying to clarify my comment.

"Yep."

She was quiet for a minute thinking. Eventually she spoke up, keeping her voice soft. "Does this have anything to do with Edward?"

"In a way." I shrugged. "I've decided that I'm going to be his friend."

"MmmHmm,"

"I'm serious. I can't let myself get so wrapped up in him. He obviously just wants to be my--_friend_. And if I let myself think about the possibilities of us being _more_ it only breaks my heart. I can't do it anymore. So I figure if I can just focus on only being his friend and nothing more then it will all get easier. I'll be able to get over this and move on."

"Okay." Renee said, looking at me calmly.

Her response wasn't one that I expected. Ever since she knew about my feelings for Edward she'd been trying to convince me to tell him. Or at least send him a copy of my book and hope that he figured it out on his own. This side of her was something I wasn't expecting.

"Okay," I repeated. Having my mom believe me gave me the confidence that my plan could work. I pulled out my cell phone and texted Edward back.

_**Don't be sorry, I understand.**_

I snapped my phone shut and let out a sigh of relief. _This is going to work. _

We spent the next half hour walking through aisles of serving platters, pots, pans, and any possible kitchen gadget or appliance you could imagine. By the time we were ready to make our purchases I was contemplating whether or not I'd have room in my luggage for everything.

"Don't' worry, if you can't fit it all I can send it to you. Or better yet you can take it home with you at Christmas time." My mother assured, helping me place everything on the counter.

"Good idea, I'll have to make sure I bring an extra suit-" I stopped mid sentence and froze looking at the girl behind the counter. She was leaning forward propped up on her elbows reading, completely unaware of us or my sudden interest in what she held in her hands. Apparently she chose that moment to look up and notice me. She smiled kindly and flipped the magazine over placing it on the counter in front of me and began ringing up my purchases without a word.

My eyes automatically dropped down and I felt my heart begin to race. There looking back at me were the green eyes, the perfect square jaw, the sexy disheveled hair and the crooked smirk. I felt myself smiling back as I reached forward casually following the lines of his face.

All it took was one glimpse and I knew that my plan, my plan to just be his friend, the plan that not more then an hour ago I'd decided was the only way to get over him, was futile. There was no way I could be just his _friend_, the feelings ran too deep. And there was definitely no way that I could ever get over Edward.

........

"So let me get this straight." Alice said holding her hands up.

"I made a plan." I finished for her.

"A plan that failed the moment you saw his face."

She was laughing at me and I couldn't be mad at her because honestly I had spent the last day laughing at myself.

"Yes it failed. It failed miserably. And really what was I expecting? I've been in love with him for almost nine years. It's not like I could just get ignore those feelings and decide to be _just_ his friend in the matter of an hour."

"I have to give you some credit. At least you _tried_." She said, patting my head.

"I guess." I sighed, jabbing a cherry tomato off my plate and tossing it into my mouth.

I called Alice as soon as I got back from Forks and the two of us met up for our weekly lunch. Considering the events that took place in the past few days this was bound to be one of the more interesting discussions.

"And I can't believe his mom knows. And that she just told you like that." Alice continued.

"Me either. Although I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. Anyone who knows Edward well enough would know that it's him."

"Which leads me to my next question. Do you think she'll tell him?"

"I don't think so. She said she wouldn't."

"Can I have her phone number?" Alice asked with raised eyebrows.

"What? Why would you want her number?"

"Because I need someone on _my_ side, someone who is willing to give a little push to our dear Edward in the right direction."

"Alice," I warned. "You wouldn't." I don't know why I bothered, of course she would. I was dealing with Alice, the same girl who has been trying to convince me for the fifth straight year in a row to just call him up and tell him.

She looked at me seriously, not a hint of kidding on her face.

"I'm not giving you her number and don't even try looking it up. Esme is not going to be pushing Edward anywhere and either are you." I stared her down, making sure she knew I was just as serious as she was.

"Fine," she huffed mumbling something else under her breath.

"I'm just going to-"

"Continue being hopelessly in love with him." She finished, cutting me off.

"Yes. Hopelessly and ridiculously in love." I dropped my head on the table completely forgetting about my meal. As far as I was concerned, Christmas could not come fast enough and I'd be counting down the days until I saw him again.

* * *

**I'd love to hear your thoughts!!**


	10. Chapter 10

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**Author Note: See I told you it wouldn't be a month before I updated, heh. Thanks for all of your fabulous reviews. You guys are the best!!**

**Thanks to my amazing beta Shwriteme. Who worked her magic on this chapter even when she was sick. You ROCK bb!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, Stephanie Meyer does.**

_**BPOV**_

_Sleigh bells ring are you listenin'_

_In the lane, snow is glistenin'_

_A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight_

_Walkin' in a winter wonderland_

I drummed my fingers on the smooth leather of the steering wheel while singing at the top of my lungs, enjoying the rush that Christmas music always brought me. There was something special about this time of year. It may be clichéd and commercial but I loved it.

Being home only added to the joy of the season. Driving down Main Street which was lined with green, tinsel-shaped Christmas trees and silver snowflakes made me feel like I was sixteen all over again.

The garland wrapped streetlamps, fake sprayed snow in the windows, velvety red bows and evergreen boughs hung over doorways. Every year it was the same and every year I took it all in with a smile. If there was one holiday the little town of Forks could celebrate it was Christmas.

Despite my lifted spirits from being home, there was a small twinge of sadness lurking. Okay, so it was more like a medium-sized twinge of sadness. Just thinking about the reason made my heart ache.

I gripped the steering wheel, feeling the stitching under my finger tips and let my mind drift back to that night a week ago.

I had been settling in for a night of mindless reality TV and celebrity gossip shows when my phone had beeped, signaling a text. My heart thumped in my chest and I took a deep breath, silently saying a prayer that it was from Edward.

We'd been texting back and forth at random for the last three weeks. Although it was normally nothing of importance and it only happened every couple of days, I cherished every word. I even kept a few stored in my phone so I could re-read them whenever I wanted.

Most discussions started on the topic of the weather and always ended in a friendly manner. We never mentioned talking to each other on the phone and, as much as I wanted to, I was glad we didn't. Something about texting was easier--more impersonal--less nerve-wracking, and I found that I could be more daring with my comments. Not that I ever _was_ very daring, but the thought had occurred to me.

That night's text started off the same as most of the others. Edward asked how the weather was in Phoenix. I replied with the typical sixty degrees and sunny. I waited for his normal 'here too' response and was surprised when I got something different.

_**I'm in Prague and its below freezing. Remind me never to come here in the winter again. **_

I stared at my phone for a minute, trying to figure out what he was doing in Prague. As if someone had heard my question a picture of Edward flashed across my TV screen. He was walking in an airport, keeping his head down, surrounded by tons of people. The host of the show went on to comment how Edward Cullen had landed in Prague to begin filming the much anticipated Paramount film that was due out the fall of this year.

After taking a minute to process the information, it hit me that I wouldn't be seeing him at Christmas. My heart sank and the devastation swept over me. I leaned back on my couch, dropping my head back and unsuccessfully tried to fight off tears. I was sad that I wouldn't see him but, even more than that, I was heartbroken that he hadn't told me. I'd hoped that after all the texting we'd been doing, that at least our friendship had grown enough for him to share little facts like that. Then again, he had just told me that he was in Prague. Was that his way of letting me know?

I wiped the moisture away from my eyes and responded to him. Not even thinking about what time it was there After all, he texted me first.

_**It will be that cold in Forks. So we'll both be freezing at Christmas**_.

I waited for his response, hoping that maybe he'd comment on the topic of Christmas.

_**I guess we will be. Christmas won't be the same this year. **_

I could feel his sadness through his words and immediately felt awful. Here I was upset that I wouldn't get a chance to see him and I hadn't stopped to consider the fact that his Christmas would be spent on set, with people that were _not_ his family. I knew how much he cherished his family and the time he could be home with him and I was sure he was not too excited about being away for the holidays. I decided to change the topic a bit and instead asked him about Prague and how he liked it.

We continued to text back and forth a few times and I could feel the conversation coming to an end. Edward said goodbye and I typed in my typical _I'll talk to_ _you later_ but my fingers hovered over the send button. I suddenly realized that not only was I not going to see him in a week but that he was so busy filming his movie we may not even get a chance to text. I wanted to tell him that I'd miss him. That I desperately wished he was coming home for Christmas.

Without thinking I erased my response and quickly typed in a new one.

_**Forks will miss you.**_ With shaking hands I stared at the four simple words on my phone. _You can do this Bella. After all it's just a simple text. Sure it may have a double meaning but he doesn't have to know that._

This was one of those moments where texting made me brave. I didn't have to worry about blushing scarlet or stumbling over my words or getting lost in Edward green eyes. I could just type a few words and press send. This I could do.

I took a deep breath, scrunched my eyes shut and pressed the send button. I knew I wouldn't get a response because Edward already said goodbye so I was surprised when I heard my phone beep a minute later. I bit down on my bottom lip and flipped it open.

_**I'll miss Forks.**_

I had fallen back on the couch and held the phone to my chest grinning ear to ear. I didn't know if his response had double meaning like mine had, but on that night I let myself believe it did.

I smiled at the memory as my fingers slipped along the steering wheel as I pulled into the grocery store parking lot. My phone started ringing and the sounds of Justin Timberlake competing with Bing Crosby made me laugh.

I flipped my phone open and held it to my ear with my shoulder, "Hey Alice," I said as I parked.

"Bella," she sang. "What time are you going to Esme's again?"

"Four o'clock. Why?"

"Oh, no reason, I was just wondering. I want to hear how it goes so make sure you call me afterwards."

"It's no big deal. It's just a book club," I reminded her.

"I know, but who knows maybe Esme will bring up Edward again. It can't hurt to get some inside information."

I laughed and shook my head. "I'm not trying to get inside information Alice. If Edward happens to come up when we're talking then he comes up. I'm going to feel awkward enough as it is. So I don't even want to think about attempting to get information about him."

"All I'm saying is that you should think about it."

Knowing that she wouldn't give up I decided to appease her. "We'll see, maybe I'll think of something to ask." I turned the key to the ignition and killed the engine, making the music sound louder.

"Track number four, Winter Wonderland," she said simply.

It only took me a second to register what she was saying. I didn't get a chance to respond before she started talking again.

"Number six is my favorite. And you know I'm proud of you for waiting until the week of Christmas to start listening to it. Although I'll always enjoy the Christmas in July, or should I say Christmas all summer," she said with a giggle.

"Hey! It wasn't all summer," I defended. "And it's not like I played it in the living room either. I only listened to it in _my_ bedroom. You just happen to be way too interested in my musical preferences."

"I was just curious as to why you played Christmas music all year long. If you hadn't waited until _after_ I read your book to tell me about Edward then I wouldn't have thought you had a weird Christmas music obsession."

"I know, I know." I sighed. "Now are you done making fun of me? I have some cranberry sauce to buy."

"Oh, that's right. Make sure you make it look pretty. A present is always better when it looks pretty."

"It's a basket of cans Alice, I'm not sure how pretty it can be, but I'll try." I assured, trying to appease her yet again.

"Okay. Good luck, and don't forget to call me later."

I said goodbye and flipped my phone shut, still laughing at Alice. I grabbed my purse and climbed out of the car, pulling my jacket up close around me as I walked toward the grocery store. The sky was dark grey and pressed down above with the threat of snow. I adjusted my scarf and fought off the cold shivers as I walked through the automatic doors.

I found myself smiling as I grabbed the little red basket and made my way to the canned fruit and vegetable aisle. After bumping into Edward here last time this aisle held nostalgia for me. I found the cranberry sauce and loaded as many cans as would fit into my basket. Pleased that I had enough I made my way back to the front of the store and checked out.

As soon as I stepped outside I noticed the snow begin to fall, large white blobs the size of cotton balls. I dropped my head to keep my face from getting wet and hurried to my car. With the bags in the trunk I got in and started the engine, flipping on the heat and holding my hands up to the vents to warm them.

The music picked up right where it left of and I sat back for a moment, enjoying the sound as it rang through my ears. I reached down to the center console and pulled out the little clear jewel CD case. There was a small two inch crack in the upper right corner and the sticker on the opposite side was worn and faded but I remember the day I got it like it was yesterday. I watched the snow swirl around outside and let my mind wander.

_**9 Years Ago**_

It had been the last day before Christmas break and the school had been alive with excitement. No one wanted to be in class and the snow falling outside made the desire to fool around even greater. I made sure to keep a low profile as I made my way to the next building hoping that Mike wouldn't try picking another snowball fight with Tyler around me, like he had earlier.

The cold wind whipped against my face. I bunched my hands up pulling the sleeves of my jacket down in attempt to keep warm. I had a feeling I was going to be late for class but didn't want to risk making a run for it. The last thing I needed was to slip on a patch of ice and spend my entire Christmas vacation in a cast.

"Stupid ice, stupid snow," I mumbled miserably.

What started off as a somewhat cheerful day had been squashed during my first period class. I knew it was stupid of me and I was probably over reacting but something seemed wrong with Edward. He was quiet and didn't say much to me all class period. Even when I tried drawing a funny picture of Mr. Banner as a frog complete with all properly marked anatomy, all I got was a crooked grin.

I tried to ignore the knots I felt as I thought about the reasons for his cold behavior. Did he not want to be my friend anymore? Did I say something to make him mad? I also tried to ignore the butterflies I felt when I thought about him.

Something had changed over the past few weeks. I found myself looking for him more in the hallways. I watched him at lunch as he talked with his brother Emmett and his friends. I tried to make it to first period class a little early because I knew that he'd be there and it would give me a few more minutes to talk to him. I was aware that I was doing all of these things but I wouldn't let myself think about _why_ I did them.

I sat through my last period class attempting to get lost in the Spanish language and failed miserably. I stared at the wood patterned laminate surface of my desk and drew endless circles. Before I knew it class was over and it was time to leave. _Who ever thought that tracing circles would help time fly by so quickly?_

As I made my way to my locker I noticed a small group of people standing a few doors down. I immediately noticed the disheveled copper hair of one of the boys and the butterflies I'd been trying to ignore earlier came back. I was so focused on him that I barely noticed the other people that were with him. It took me a second to actually see who they were. Jessica was standing next to Mike who was talking to Tyler with a look of excitement on his face. Standing next to Tyler was Lauren and she was talking with Tanya.

I dropped my eyes down and made my way up to my locker quietly, not wanting to attract Mike. No matter what I did or said he still followed me around and asked me out every chance he got. It was getting more difficult to come up with excuses to say no.

Once at the safety of my locker I opened it and tried to hide behind its open door as I shoved my books in and grabbed a few that I needed over the holiday break. Just as I was finishing someone banged on the metal door. I jumped back, not being able to repress a squeal of shock, and quickly whirled around to face whoever it was that scared me.

"Sorry Bella didn't mean to scare ya," Mike said, laughing.

"Yeah sure you didn't. Anyone ever tell you it's not nice to sneak up on people?" I asked, slamming my locker shut and briefly glancing over at the group of people to see if Edward was still there. He was.

"I can't help it if you just don't notice things," Mike continued trying to hold my interest.

"I notice things, but in case you haven't noticed I'm not superman I can't see through metal." I smiled after making my comment knowing that it was one Edward would appreciate.

Mike must have thought I was smiling at him because he took it as a sign and took a step closer to me. My eyes again instinctively searched for Edward. This time he caught my eye and looked back and forth between Mike and me before turning his attention back to Tanya.

_What is she talking to him about anyway? _

"A group of us are heading over to the elementary school to go sledding and stuff. There is this great hill there. You wanna come?"

"Uhh," I faltered not really paying attention to Mike. I was still watching Edward as he talked to Tanya. She playfully swatted at his arm and it made my stomach churn.

_What is wrong with me?_

"Bella?" Mike asked again, trying to get my attention.

I shook my head a little and focused on the conversation in front of me. "I'm not sure Mike. I have a bunch of stuff to get done." I silently rejoiced that I did actually have an excuse. My mom made sure to remind me at least a hundred times that she needed my help after school.

"Come on," he said, leaning forward and placing his arm up on the lockers, blocking my current view. "It's gonna be fun."

"You know, maybe some other time. Like over the holiday break or something. Today just really isn't a good day."

"Alright," he shrugged. "I'll give you a call over the break then. Maybe we can go out for a movie or something?"

I didn't get a chance to respond before the rest of the group started yelling that they were ready to leave. I watched as they all started for the double doors at the end of the hall. Edward glanced back at me briefly and I smiled, hoping that his mood had improved since first period. He grinned back at me and turned to say something to the group. Jessica craned her neck around and give me a little eyebrow wiggle. She didn't say anything but simply nodded her head and latched her arm with Tanya's as they walked outside.

I felt slightly ridiculous for just standing in the middle of the hallway so I started walking. I didn't get very far before Edward reached me.

"Hey, are you coming sledding?" he asked, looking over at me. One thing I liked about talking with Edward was that we were pretty much the same height. I never had to strain my neck to look at him. It was nice.

"I can't, my mom needs help at home. You?"

"Yeah, I'm going. Emmett's been talking about it all week. I guess a bunch of the guys from the team are going and they mentioned it to some other people…" he waved his hand back and forth. "Pretty soon it turned into this big thing."

"Sounds fun."

"If Emmett has any say in how the day turns out it will be fun. He loves building these ramps out of the snow, makes for great lift off." Edward eyes were alive with excitement and I couldn't help but smile back at him, pleased that his spirits had improved.

"See, it's probably a good thing I'm not going. Anything that involves ramps and flying through the air would most definitely land me in the hospital."

"You wouldn't have to go on the ramps. You _could_ just stick to the ground."

"I know. But even then my chances of injury are high. I've only been sledding once. Well it was actually ice blocking but it's the same-"

"Ice blocking?" he asked, cutting me off and standing still.

"Uh-huh." I nodded.

"What is that?"

"In Phoenix it's hot, so we don't get snow." I stated the obvious earning a laugh from Edward. "So," I continued "we go sledding on blocks of ice."

"Blocks of ice?"

"Yep, you can either buy them or make your own. You sit on the block of ice and since it's so hot it slides really easily down the hill. It's like the reverse of sledding…kind of…but a little different I guess." I knew I sounded stupid so I tried figuring out an easier way of explaining it so it didn't sound so dumb.

Edward cut me off before I could say anything. "That sounds awesome! Man, I'm gonna have to tell Emmett about that," he said grinning. "I don't think you realize the new world you may have just opened up for us."

I felt my cheeks blush red and I dropped my head laughing, relieved that he didn't think I was nuts for sliding down hills on blocks of ice.

"Just don't blame me if someone gets hurt. I broke my wrist the last time I tried it."

"Really?" he said, looking down at my hand.

"Distal radius fracture. I had to wear a cast for six weeks." I held up my left hand and turned it over a few times.

"Okay, I'll make sure to tell Emmett no ramps when we try ice blocking. Not having any snow to break the fall might make it a little worse."

"Good idea."

We both stood silent for a moment. I wondered if he was going to say anything or if I should. _This is stupid Bella just talk. He's your friend, you always talk to him. _

I internally rolled my eyes at myself and opened my mouth to say something when Edward spoke up.

"Hey, I have something for you."

"You do?" I asked, taken of guard. I wasn't expecting that. My heart instantly accelerated and I took a shallow breath, trying to hide the onset of nerves.

He dropped his back pack from his shoulder and placed it on the ground. Kneeling down on one knee he started digging through it as he spoke. "After our conversation earlier this week I decided you _had_ to have this."

"And what conversation is this? We have a lot of them Edward." I teased, hoping that my shaky voice wasn't noticeable.

"The one about Christmas classics and the who's version of _White Christmas_ is better."

"Ohhh, _that _conversation," I smiled, remembering it with perfect clarity. I was a fan of Karen Carpenters version because my mother was a huge fan and that's who I grew up listening to. And Edward insisted that Bing Crosby's was the best, because well "he's Bing" had been his reason.

"I took it upon myself to put together a few of the _best_ classics that everyone should have." He stood up and held out a plastic CD case. There was a small red bow in the corner that was smashed-- no doubt from being in his bag all day-- and underneath it was a little sticker tag. I took it from his hands and read the label. It said, _To Bella, From Edward, just a few classics. _

"Thank you," I said looking up at him, feeling my heart soar.

"No problem." He grinned. "What type of friend would I be if I let you walk around in the dark when it came to something as important as Christmas music?"

"Yes, what type of friend would you be if you let _that_ happen?" I said in mock horror.

Out of nowhere I heard a loud booming voice yelling Edward's name. The two of us turned around in the direction of the sound just as Emmett walked around the corner.

"Hey! You ready to go?" He asked walking over to us, ruffling Edwards's hair. If I didn't know any better I'd think that's why his hair was always so messy.

"Yeah I'm coming." He said, leaning his head to the side and away from Emmett's hands.

"Hi Bella." Emmett gave me a wide grin and punched my shoulder lightly, making me stumble back a bit. It wasn't hard but I wasn't prepared for it either and my center of balance was never good. "Oops, didn't mean to knock you over." He apologized.

"It's okay, I wasn't prepared is all," I said, blushing. He chuckled quietly and started walking backwards towards the door, still facing us. "I'll meet you in the car Ed."

He was gone just as quick as he came and Edward and I were left standing alone once again.

"You better get going; I don't want to make you late. Thanks again for the CD."

"You're sure you don't want to come?" he asked with raised eyebrows, his face looking excited.

"Maybe next time."

"Alright, I won't forget that." He held his finger up and pointed at me as he started walking backwards, just as his brother had. "Merry Christmas Bella."

"Merry Christmas Edward."

He spun around and pushed the glass door open. The air rushed through and blew his hair making it stand up even more. He looked around for a second before spotting Emmett's car and took off down the steps.

Walking over to the door I had watched him climb in and drive away. I'd held the CD case against my chest and even through its plastic cover I could feel my heart racing.

_**Present Day**_

The sound of my cell phone ringing brought my eyes in focus and I noticed the snow was now coming down heavier and had started to coat the cars around me. I sat forward dropping the CD case away from my chest not even realizing that I held it there, just like in my memories.

I looked around, briefly forgetting what I was about to do when my phone rang again. I quickly fumbled through my purse and flipped it open, not even checking who it was.

"Bella? It's Esme."

"Hi, how's it going?"

"Everything's great. But I was calling because I wanted to know if it would be a problem for you to come a little earlier than we discussed?"

"Sure, what time do you want me there?"

"Would two o'clock be alright?"

I eyed the clock on the dashboard, mentally counting how soon that was. It only gave me an hour but that was more then enough time to put together the basket and grab a bite to eat.

"Two o'clock sounds great Esme."

"Oh good, I was hoping it wouldn't be a problem. I'll see you then, dear."

I said goodbye and hung up the phone, tossing it on the empty seat beside me. Putting the car in gear I pulled out of the parking lot just as Big Crosby's White Christmas started to play. I turned the volume up and sang along with a smile

An hour later I pulled up in front of the Cullen house, fighting off a vicious attack of butterflies. There didn't seem to be any other cars in the street so that helped a little. I wasn't too nervous about answering questions about my book--after all I've done it more times than I could count. But the combination of walking into a room with all eyes on me and seeing Esme for the first time, knowing what she knew, would be too much.

_You can do this Bella. It's just another book club meeting. _I continued to give myself a silent pep talk as I climbed out of the car. I grabbed the large basket, complete with ribbon, from the back seat and, as I walked to the front door, realized how stupid I must look. I mean, who gives a giant basket full of cranberry sauce to the father of the guy you're in love with?

_Apparently I do. _

I rolled my eyes at myself and propped the basket on my hip so I could ring the doorbell. Moments later I could hear footsteps behind the door and it swung open.

"Hello there, Bella." Carlisle said with a smile reminiscent of his son's.

I felt my cheeks get warm as I grinned back. "Hi Dr. Cullen."

"Please, call me Carlisle." He took a step back and motioned with his hand for me to enter.

"Thanks." I said taking an awkward step over the threshold, making sure to watch my footing. "This is for you. Merry Christmas." I held the basket out in front of me.

"For me?" His face was confused but he took the basket from my hands anyway. He looked at the contents and back up at me silently asking why I'd just given him a basket of cans.

"When I saw Edward over Thanksgiving at the grocery store _I_ got the last can of cranberry sauce, remember? I did promise him I'd make it up to you." I laughed.

"That's right." He quickly remembered. "Thank you. I know who'll be eating cranberry sauce with Christmas dinner." He grinned and held the basket up.

"You always have cranberry sauce with Christmas dinner." Esme said as she walked into the foyer.

"I do. But it's not always canned and you know that's my favorite."

"A reason of which I still don't understand," she said, shaking her head.

"I think it must be a guy thing," I added, "My dad loves it too."

"He must have good taste," Carlisle said over his shoulder as he walked off. "Thanks again Bella!" he called.

"No problem!" I yelled back, not nearly as loud.

I looked at Esme and noticed she was watching me with a smile. I suddenly felt very nervous and wondered if she was going to start asking questions about my book, questions that I had a feeling she was dying to ask before everyone else arrived.

"I'm just finishing up a few batches of cookies, why don't you come into the kitchen and we'll chat."

_Chat. Right, we'll chat._ More like she'll ask how long I've been in love with her son and I'll fumble my through an explanation.

Without another word she turned around and walked in the direction of the kitchen. I followed close behind her, taking in the house around me and searching for traces of Edward anywhere.

The smell of fresh baked cookies permeated the house and it smelled just as it had the last time I was here. Esme must really enjoy baking. Maybe my mother could take a class from her.

"It smells great," I said once we made it to the kitchen.

"I love to bake. And when the boys are home I can't make cookies fast enough. Between the two of them they could polish off an entire batch in the matter of minutes."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Because you've seen the size of Emmett," she answered. "Although, I'd bet you'd be surprised to hear that Edward can almost out eat Emmett, in the cookie department at least."

"Really?"

"If they're peanut butter chocolate chunk then yes." She looked up at me. "Those are his favorite."

The smile on her face told me she was offering this fact on purpose. She wanted me to know his favorite and made an effort to tell me. I did my best to hide the blush that warmed my cheeks and offered a slight smile as a thank you.

The timer of the oven went off signaling another batch was done and in a few quick movements Esme had them out on the counter and started moving them to a cooling rack.

I felt useless just standing there so I offered to help scoop out some more batter.

"Umm…actually," she looked up at the clock and back at me. "Why don't you take over here, and I'll scoop out the dough."

"Sure." I shrugged, glad to be of some help.

We spent the next few minutes talking about random things. She told me about learning to bake and how it wasn't something she was good at when she and Carlisle first got married. Apparently his mother was a fabulous baker and she taught Esme everything she knew. I found myself completely engrossed in the stories about her family. I might have known Edward in high school, but I didn't know everything about his family and this glimpse, even though small, was wonderful.

I was so engrossed in our conversation that I didn't notice the time passing until I saw Esme look up at the clock again. Out of habit I turned my head to see the time and was shocked to see that almost a half hour had passed. People were supposed to have arrived a while ago and I couldn't understand what was keeping them. Just as I was about to ask Esme if we should call them the phone rang.

"Could you get that sweetheart, my hands are a little messy," she said, smiling and holding up her hands.

"Umm, sure." I nodded, feeling a little uncomfortable answering the phone is someone else's house. I walked over to the built in desk and picked up the receiver, glancing at Esme one last time for her assurance that it was okay.

"Hello, Cullen residence," I said in an almost whisper.

"Bella?"

His velvety smooth voice went straight through me and my heart skipped.

"Edward?" I asked, even though I already knew it was him. No one else's voice could make my body tingly and my heart erratic with a single word.

"Yeah it's me. What are you doing answering the phone at my parents house?"

"I umm…I was here and I brought some cranberry sauce and umm…baking cookies."

"Cranberry sauce?" he asked confused.

"For your dad. I said I'd give him some, remember?" I felt my cheeks get hot. I already felt like an idiot and I was not planning on having to explain it to Edward.

"Oh, that's right. That's really nice of you. I'm sure he loves it." He was silent for a minute and I was contemplating banging my head on the wall in front of me out of frustration. _I am an idiot. _

"So, you're baking cookies with my mom?" His voice sounded happy and excited and I felt relieved that he didn't think I was as idiotic as I felt.

"No. I mean yes. I am, just until everyone gets here." I knew I wasn't making any sense but my words kept getting jumbled. I took a calming breath and gathered my thoughts before speaking again. "I'm talking to your mom's book club. They chose my book and since your mom knew I'd be home for Christmas she asked if I'd be willing to come to their meeting. I got here a little early and she was baking so I'm helping."

"You're making me jealous talking about my mom's cookies. I can't believe I don't get any this Christmas."

"I'll make sure to eat plenty on your behalf." I teased, slowly feeling the nerves settle. "And I'm sure whatever I don't finish Emmett will take care of."

"Hey no fair. I don't want to hear that. You not only get to be home for Christmas, but you get my mom's baking." I knew he was just playing along but I could honestly hear the longing in his voice.

"Alright, I'm sorry. I'll stop talking about it."

"Good," He paused. "What kind is she making anyway?"

I laughed out loud and plopped down in the seat. "I thought you didn't want to hear it?"

"Well now that you told me about it I can't just stop thinking about it. At least I can imagine what they'd taste like."

"I don't know Edward. I don't want to make this even harder on you." I giggled slipping right back into playful mode.

"Bella-"

"No, I'm being kind." I said cutting him off. "You don't want to feel homesick and the last thing I'd want to do is tell you she made your favorite."

"My favorite?"

"Peanut butter chocolate chunk, your Grandma Cullen's recipe." I smiled at using my new found bit of knowledge.

"Ugh, now you're really trying to kill me."

I almost responded but I noticed Esme step up beside me. I looked up at her smiling face.

"Tell him to check the package I sent him. He should have got it today," she said.

"What did my mom just say?"

"She told me to tell you to check the package she sent you."

He didn't say anything but I could hear faint mumbles, papers shuffling and items being shifted around. I took his moment of silence to hand the phone over to Esme.

"Here." I said holding out the phone now that her hands were clean.

"No, no you keep talking I have some things to get ready before everyone gets here."

"Shouldn't they be here already?" I whispered covering the receiver with my hand.

"They'll be here at four. You have _plenty_ of time to talk." She gave me a quick wink and I froze. My jaw dropped and I had nothing to say. Somehow Esme planned this. I'm not sure how or when, but she did. She spun around, grabbed a small plate of cookies off the counter and placed them in front of me before walking out of the kitchen, leaving me alone.

The sound of Edward's voice coming from the phone woke me out of my shock.

"I'm sorry what?" I asked, not hearing what he'd just said.

"I said, tell my mom thanks. She sent me some cookies." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I'll tell her."

"So," he mumbled as he ate, what I assumed was the cookies, "how have things been?"

I picked up a cookie and took a bite. "Pretty good. It feels great to be home again, even though I was just here. A change of scenery always helps inspire new stories; at least it does for me."

"Really? Why is that?"

"I don't know. I guess I see I different landscape and I think of a different way of life. My mind tends to conjure up all sorts of crazy things. My job is to turn those ideas into a story with a good plot."

"You make it sound so easy. I could never write a novel."

"And I could never be in movies. I don't know how you do it."

"My mind is good at conjuring up crazy things too." He laughed. "I just put myself in the place of the characters and their way of life."

"And what characters life are you putting yourself into now?"

"Christopher McDaniel. A young, brilliant Cryptologist who is hired by the government to analyze a code they can't break. What starts out as simple job turns into a rush against time and a fight for his life and thousands of others."

"That sounds pretty cool." I giggled quietly because of the deep "movie guy" voice he used.

"It's a great role so I'm excited. And Prague is beautiful, cold but beautiful."

"Tell me about your favorite parts so far. Have you had a chance to explore the city at all?"

I immediately heard the excitement in his voice. He went into full detail about all the great locations they've been filming. I learned all about the food, the culture and what he'd been doing for the past week or so. His schedule hadn't allotted him much down time but what little he had he tried to get out on his own and do some exploring.

I got lost in the sound of his voice. I know that I said texting was the way to go but after hearing his laugh and listening to him speak I was having second thoughts. I'd listen to him read a phone book if it meant hearing his soothing rich tone. I don't know how long we talked but eventually the subject came back to me. He wanted to hear about any upcoming projects I was working on and I clammed up, for obvious reasons.

"Um, not too much is going on right at the moment." I lied, biting down on my lip. I hopped he'd buy it.

"Bella," he said my name lightly and just hearing it sent another chill through me. "I know for a fact that's not true."

My eyebrows scrunched together. "What makes you say that?"

"Because Twilight Entertainment buying the rights to make a movie based on your book is a huge deal."

My breath caught and I almost dropped the phone. My throat constricted and I felt like I was going to vomit. I knew there were words floating around in my head but there was no chance I could put them together.

_Did I tell him about it? No, no, no there is no way I could forget that. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This is not good, not good at all. _

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about it at Thanksgiving." He went on to say and I still hadn't moved an inch. I couldn't even blink. I tried, hoping that maybe I'd open my eyes and find out this is all a horrible nightmare. No such luck.

"It's so exciting Bella."

"Uh-huh," I managed without closing my slack jaw.

He may have asked more questions but I wasn't aware of a thing he said. I could hear the ringing in my ears and for a second thought I might pass out. I forced my jaw shut and I swallowed. I wondered how he'd found out. He's in the business so maybe he came across the information somewhere. Then of course there was the _other _possibility. A possibility that Alice had even joked about years ago. A possibility that scared me more than I could even fathom, more than I could even wrap my brain around. Before I could stop myself from speaking the words tumbled out.

"How did you find out?"

"From my agent. He told me about it when I got back to LA after Thanksgiving. Although, I didn't know it was your book."

The first part of the question was already out of the way but I knew I had to follow up with the second half. Edward seemed to be waiting for me to speak; the other line was completely silent.

"Have you read the screenplay?" I tried to keep my tone light and carefree and I only hoped it sounded that way. I closed my eyes and braced for his response. If he read it then there was no doubt in my mind that he knew. My brain scrambled to come up with a reasonable explanation but I drew a blank. I was in a complete fog. I could hear the clock on the wall ticking as the seconds passed by before he spoke.

"No."

As soon as the word was out of his mouth I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I closed my eyes and let out the breath I'd been holding. I always knew that he'd find out eventually. Most likely after the movie was made. I planned on having those few months to prepare and plan what I would say to him. I wasn't ready to have that conversation just yet and for a second I thought I'd have to. I felt a surge of elation bubble up in my chest knowing that I'd have at least a few more months of stress free conversations with him. That was until he spoke again.

"I have it right here in my hands though. I was just going to sit down and read it."

_Crap!_

* * *

**_Ohhh, and so it begins....._**

**_I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter!! _**


	11. Chapter 11

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**Author Note: The response for the last chapter blew me away, srsly I can't thank you all enough for the amazing reviews. **

**Thanks to my amazing beta Shwriteme who honestly challenges me and helps me be a better writer.  
**

**In a screenplay a slug line tells the reader that the story has changed in location or time.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, Stephanie Meyer does.**

**CHAPTER 11**

**EPOV**

"Okay Edward, that's a wrap for today." One of the assistant directors called from behind the camera.

I craned my neck to the side, hearing the bones pop and crack, easing the tension from the long day. I'd been on set since four a.m. and was more than looking forward to the quiet of my hotel room.

I ran my hands through my hair before pulling them down my face in exhaustion, forgetting all about the makeup that Garrett had spent hours applying.

"Almost two hours of make-up to get you looking like someone beat you up and you ruin it all in a matter of seconds," the familiar male voice said behind me.

I turned around to find Garrett standing arm-in-arm with Kate.

"It's got to come off at some point. We can't let him walk around in public looking like this. Someone will think he's been attacked by rabid fans." Kate giggled as she walked toward me, a tissue in her outstretched hand.

I gratefully took the tissue and wiped the corner of my mouth and down my chin where the fake red blood was now crusted on. "Thanks," I mumbled.

"You're never going to get it all off with just a tissue," Garrett said watching me with a smirk. "Come on, let's go to make-up and I'll use some remover."

I followed behind the two of them as Kate filled us in on the sites she'd seen that day. She didn't always come to the location where I was filming—but she was always there when Garrett was the make-up artist.

I was thankful that removing the make-up took a quarter of the time it took to apply. Garrett was almost finished and Kate was telling us about the Prague castle when her phone rang.

"It's Aro," she said, looking at me. "I bet it's about the screenplay for the Twilight film." She answered the phone and mouthed that she'd be right back before stepping out of the trailer.

"So," Garrett started, checking my face over one last time. "Are you missing Forks? I bet it's hard not being with your family over the holidays."

"Yeah, it is. I've only missed Christmas once before and my mom was so sad that I promised I'd do anything I could to make sure it didn't happen again. I guess that didn't work." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sure she understands."

"She does. They all do for that matter. I just wish the filming schedule was different. I was looking forward to going home."

As I said this I thought about how true it was. I really was looking forward to my trip home this Christmas. And it wasn't just because I'd get to see my family. Yes, that was a huge reason but the other part of my excitement centered on seeing Bella.

After leaving Forks at Thanksgiving Bella and I had started texting each other. I'd found myself thinking about her at random times throughout the week and before I realized what I was doing, I'd have my phone in my hands, sending her a message. We'd go back and forth for a little while, teasing each other or making random comments about our day. Whenever a conversation ended I felt light and happy. And I always looked forward to the next one.

Before Thanksgiving if someone asked if I knew Bella Swan I'd say _yes, we were friends in high school_. But now I knew that if I was asked that same question I could proudly say _yes, she is my friend_. Although that word may be simple to some, to me it meant everything. It meant I had someone else who knew me as Edward. Someone else who knew the scrawny, sometimes awkward boy I used to be and still knew me now--even after all the fame.

"…anything to do with the mystery girl?"

I was lost in my thoughts and just barely caught the end of Garrets question.

I blinked a few times and looked at his reflection in the mirror. "What?"

"I said does your excitement about going home have anything to do with the mystery girl? You know the one you were having coffee with."

"No…I mean, yes…kind of. We're friends and have known each other for a long time. It's great having someone who knew me before all of the crazy Hollywood stuff. To her I'm still Edward, the guy she went to high school with. It would have been great to see her again."

Garrett seemed to accept my response but looked like he had another question when Kate walked back in the trailer.

"Okay so Aro says the screenplay was delivered by courier and should have arrived at your hotel sometime today," she said while taking a seat on the counter. "He also says that he knows you're busy and need your rest but would love for you to read it as soon as possible and let him know what you think."

I shook my head just imagining the way Aro would have sounded crooning into the phone in attempt to persuade me.

"This must be a big deal for him to go to all this effort."

"It has to be. I've only ever seen him act this way once before. And that was for the remake of Superman. I swear if he could mimic your voice and forge your signature he would have accepted the role for you before you even knew about it."

"I think I'd have to agree with you on that one." I laughed. Aro was very enthusiastic when it came to my career and although it could get exhausting it was what made him one of the best. "Did he happen to tell you the title?" I asked, suddenly realizing that I didn't even know.

"Angel at Dusk. They're sticking with the title from the book. I hear it's really good. I have it on my list of _to reads_."

"Angel at Dusk," I repeated with furrowed brows.

Something about the title sounded familiar but I didn't know how. I raked my brain, trying to remember if I'd seen it somewhere before. I knew I hadn't read it but perhaps I'd seen it in a book store on the best selling table. Out of nowhere an image popped into my head. A book with a light blue cover sitting on a cookie covered counter top at my parents' house. _Bella's book._

"Bella," I whispered to myself.

"Who?"

"Nothing. It's just…I'm just thinking…"

My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. They wouldn't settle. A million things came into question. Each and every one of them centered on the fact that Bella's book was being made into a movie that I could possible star in, if I wanted to. I couldn't understand why she hadn't told me about this earlier. Something this big should have come up, yet I spent almost an entire day with her and she didn't even mention it. And I knew that the rights had been sold before Thanksgiving. It took more than four weeks to find a writer to put together a screenplay and, if I remember correctly, they took their time making sure it was perfect. _How could she not tell me? _Besides those obvious questions I couldn't deny the excitement I was feeling. Knowing that I could be involved in some small way in something as important as Bella's novel thrilled me.

"Are you all right Edward?" Kate took a step toward me and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah I'm fine. I was just thinking about something." The room was silent and I continued to think about the irony of the situation.

It was a moment before Kate spoke up. "Are you thinking about the Twilight Production?"

"I think I'm going to do it," I said, mostly to myself before even realizing what I'd said.

"You're what?"

"I said I think I want to do the film." Hearing the words come out of my mouth should have shocked me, but they didn't.

"You haven't even read the screenplay yet."

"I know."

"Have you read the book?" She asked looking at me with wide eyes.

I shook my head.

"Then why would you accept the role if you haven't even read the screenplay yet?"

"It's just a feeling I have." I kept the fact that I knew the author, and wanted a chance to work closely with her even if it wasn't really _her_ but just her work, to myself. There was no way I could tell Kate this and expect her to understand the complicated feelings that I couldn't even figure out. "Plus," I added, "Aro said it's going to be huge. I _have_ heard that it has a big following and that's got to be a good sign." I knew that mentioning Aro was one of the only ways to convince her of my excuse. She studied my face for a minute I'm sure trying to decide if I was being serious or not.

"You're serious aren't you?"

"I am," I confirmed. "I'll call Marcus and get his feelings on it but if he agrees with Aro like I think he will, I'm going to sign on."

"Okay," she said in worried tone. "Look, just do me a favor? Wait until you get back to your hotel. Give the script a quick read through and see if it looks like something _you _want to do." Her eyes pleaded. "I hate when Aro's opinions rub off on you," she added in a mumble.

I stood up and put my arm around her. "I promise I won't let Aro's opinion rub off on me."

I could feel her shoulders drop in acceptance. "All right," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Now go relax--you look like hell. I have to check the call sheet to make sure but I think you need to be back here tomorrow at seven."

"Thanks Kate. What would I do without you?" I teased.

"Walk around aimlessly and accept any role tossed at your feet."

I gave her a brotherly shove and the three of us laughed before the subject changed to dinner plans. They invited me to tag along with them and a few other members of the cast and crew but I declined. I wanted to relax in my room and make a call home.

"I'll have someone pick you up at six thirty tomorrow," Kate yelled over her shoulder as she we parted ways.

I sat in the back seat of the car as we made our way through the city to our hotel. Even after being here a week I was still in awe of Prague. I knew it was beautiful from the pictures I'd seen but experiencing it first hand was different. It was amazing and I promised myself that someday I'd come back and spend more time here.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone to check for any missed calls or texts. I felt a slight pang of disappointment when I didn't see Bella's name. I knew she was probably home in Forks right now and I made a metal note to try and text her later. I'd been so busy all week that I hadn't had a chance to contact her and now that I knew about her screenplay I was positive she had been busy as well.

I scrolled though my list of numbers and quickly dialed home. My mom answered after the second ring.

"Hey mom. How's it going?"

"Edward. I'm so glad you called. I was going to call you earlier."

"You were?"

"Yes, I wanted to ask you something but you know _now _is not the best time," she said, rushing her words together. "I have my hands full and I'm on my way out the door. Can you call back in say…an hour?"

I looked down at my watch. I still wanted to grab something to eat and call Marcus and Aro so I told her that would be fine.

When I made it to the hotel I checked in with the front desk to see if the screenplay had indeed arrived like Aro had said. The lady behind the counter nodded and with a thick accent told me she'd go check before disappearing behind the large arrangement of fragrant flowers.

I turned around and I let my eyes wander the lobby. Everything about the hotel was elegant, right down to the polished ivory marble floors that glimmered with veins of gold. There was so much detail that I could hardly take it all in and I felt bad that I wouldn't spend enough time here to enjoy it more. I caught sight of the restaurant and bar and made a decision to stop in for a bite before going to my room.

"I can have these sent to your room if you'd like Mr. Cullen."

I spun back around to find that the lady behind the counter had returned, holding a large box with a thick envelope balanced on top. Her eyes dashed between me and the bar and she must have known what I was thinking.

"That would be great. Thanks." I gave her an appreciative nod before heading off to get some food.

I spent the next hour sitting at a secluded table eating and making phone calls. I was correct in assuming that Marcus would agree with Aro's thoughts about the movie. Unlike me, he already read the screenplay and thought it looked like a great project. He filled me on a few details and I pretended that I already knew it was about a girl who falls in love with her best friend.

Of course, I didn't tell him that I hadn't read it yet or that I knew the author of the book it was based on. My heart was racing and my palms started to sweat when I told him that I wanted to accept the role. He didn't seem to notice my unease and said he'd take care of things on our end as far as contracts go.

I hung up the phone, realizing I had just made a pretty risky move as far as the movie industry goes. Accepting a role without reading the screenplay was stupid and quite possibly career suicide, but for some reason I didn't care. I had a feeling that anything Bella put her name on would be just as amazing as she was.

I tossed some money down on the table and headed up to my room. Once on my floor I pulled out my phone to call home. After a couple rings someone picked up.

"Hello, Cullen residence."

The voice on the other end took me by surprise. I took a quick glance at my phone to make sure I'd dialed the right number. I had.

"Bella?" I asked. I wracked my brain trying to remember if my mom had said she was going to be there. I came up with nothing.

"Edward?" Her voice sounded just as confused as I felt.

"Yeah it's me. What are you doing answering the phone at my parents house?"

"I umm…I was here and I brought some cranberry sauce and umm…baking cookies." Her voice wavered as she tried to explain herself. _So she's baking cookies. _I repeated to myself. _And she brought what?_

"Cranberry sauce?" I asked.

"For your dad," she mumbled. She said something else but I couldn't really hear her because as soon as she spoke I immediately remembered. Images of seeing her, for the first time in years, in the middle of the grocery store, wearing a tight skirt and heels jumping up and down holding a can of cranberry sauce came rushing back to me. It made me smile.

"Oh, that's right. That's really nice of you. I'm sure he loves it." I pushed my door open and walked into my room, flipping the light on as I went. "So, you're baking cookies with my mom?"

"No. I mean yes. I am, just until everyone gets here. I'm talking to your mom's book club. They chose my book and since your mom knew I'd be home for Christmas she asked if I'd be willing to come to their meeting. I got here a little early and she was baking so I'm helping."

I sat back on the bed and closed my eyes. I could almost picture being home and tried to imagine the smell of fresh baked cookies. The image of Bella being there and helping my mom made it even more appealing. I suddenly felt very home sick.

"You're making me jealous talking about my mom's cookies. I can't believe I don't get any this Christmas."

"I'll make sure to eat plenty on your behalf. And I'm sure whatever I don't finish Emmett will take care of."

The playful tone of her voice was contagious and I teased her back.

"Hey no fair. I don't want to hear that. You not only get to be home for Christmas, but you get my mom's baking."

"All right, I'm sorry. I'll stop talking about it."

"Good."

There was a pause in the conversation. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. Conversation with Bella always came easy, whether it was texting or not. Even after all these years apart we seemed to pick up where we left off. It was like being in high school again, but better.

"What kind is she making anyway?" I asked, hoping that she'd know I was still talking about cookies and that my earlier statement was a joke. Apparently she did because she started laughing.

"I thought you didn't want to hear it?"

"Well now that you told me about it I can't just stop thinking about it. At least I can imagine what they'd taste like."

"I don't know Edward. I don't want to make this even harder on you."

I rolled my eyes, imagining the way her face would look right now, scrunched up in that teasing look.

"Bella-" I started to say but she cut me off.

"No, I'm being kind. You don't want to feel homesick and the last thing I'd want to do is tell you she made your favorite."

"My favorite?" _How did she know my favorite? __Did I tell her that in high school?_

"Peanut butter chocolate chunk, your Grandma Cullen's recipe."

"Ugh, now you're really trying to kill me." I almost told her that she was forbidden to eat any without me but heard my mom say something.

"What did my mom just say?" I asked, hoping that she would simply tell me and not hand the phone over to my mom. I wasn't done talking to her yet.

"She told me to tell you to check the package she sent you."

I sat up in my bed and looked around the room. The brown box I'd seen earlier was sitting on the desk and perched on top was the thick envelope. I walked across the room and lifted the envelope, flipping it over to read the writing. It was sent from Aro's office and I knew that it was the screenplay. I put it down on the table, knowing I'd get to it later and turned my attention to the box, ripping up the sticky tape and wrenching the cardboard back.

I felt around inside and pulled out two wrapped Christmas gifts followed by a Tupperware container. I smiled in excitement as soon as I saw the contents. Peanut butter chocolate chuck cookies. Best mom ever.

"Score! Tell my mom thanks," I said smiling.

I couldn't hear anything for a second and then Bella's voice spoke up. "I'm sorry what?"

"I said, tell my mom thanks. She sent me some cookies."

"I'll tell her."

I was still full from my dinner but that didn't stop me from eating the cookies. "So how have things been?" I asked through chews.

"Pretty good. It feels great to be home again, even though I was just here. A change of scenery always helps inspire new stories--at least it does for me."

I realized that I'd never asked her much about her writing. It was what she did for a living, she was famous because she was so good and I hadn't even thought to ask her about it. "Really? Why is that?"

"I don't know. I guess I see a different landscape and I think of a different way of life. My mind tends to conjure up all sorts of crazy things. My job is to turn those ideas into a story with a good plot."

It was a simple explanation but enough to make me realize that I could never do what she does. It's amazing. "You make it sound so easy. I could never write a novel," I said in awe.

"And I could never be in movies. I don't know how you do it."

I laughed. "My mind is good at conjuring up crazy things too. I just put myself in the place of the characters and their way of life."

"And what characters life are you putting yourself into now?"

I felt myself getting excited that she wanted to know. It wasn't like I never talk about roles that I was working on but this was different. It wasn't a person asking for an interview or even a family member asking out of routine, it was Bella. She _wanted_ to know and I _wanted_ to tell her every little detail and hear her response.

I explained the character I was portraying and told her how excited I was. Of course since I mentioned the movie I couldn't help but talk about Prague and tell her how beautiful it was. She asked me questions and I answered as best I could. I still hadn't seen much of the city but what I had seen I told her about.

We continued to talk while I ate cookies. After a while I stood up to get a bottle of water and noticed the thick envelope still sitting on the table. I stared at it for a minute and contemplated the best way to bring it up. I wanted to just ask her but I didn't want to fluster her either. Instead I figured I'd start asking about her writing again and what projects she was working on in hopes that it would flow easily into talk about the movie. _That should work, right? _

"Um, not too much is going on right at the moment," she said and I could hear the nervous tone in her voice.

I couldn't understand her nervousness. Both she and my mom said it was a girly book so maybe she thought I'd think it was cheesy and tease her. She had to know that I'd never do that. She was my friend. I wanted her to be honest with me.

"Bella, I know for a fact that's not true."

She paused. "What makes you say that?"

I took a deep breath and decided to just tell her that I knew. "Because Twilight Entertainment buying the rights to make a movie based on your book is a huge deal and I can't believe you didn't tell me about it at Thanksgiving. It's so exciting Bella."

I wanted to tell her that I was going to be in the film but I couldn't bring myself to form the words. Just thinking about it made my throat constrict and I could hardly swallow. I realized that there was no way I could tell her about accepting the role until I read the screenplay. She would think I was just as insane as I felt. Because who in their right mind accepts a movie role before they even read the script?_ Apparently I do. _

I pushed my rambling thoughts aside and settled for asking more questions about when it happened and how involved she was with writing the screenplay. I was in the middle of asking how much it differs from the book when she cut me off mid sentence.

"How did you find out?"

"From my agent, he told me about it when I got back to LA after Thanksgiving. Although, I didn't know it was your book." She didn't seem to be listening to me before she asked her next question.

"Have you read the screenplay?"

My eyes instantly shot over to the envelope. I picked it up, brushing off the cookie crumbs and fumbled with the tab, preparing to rip it open.

"No. I have it right here in my hands though. I was just going to sit down and read it."

The line was silent and I realized that she was more nervous then I'd anticipated. _It must be a really girly book._ Perhaps my original joke about half naked men in suede chaps and cowboy boots gracing the cover wasn't so off base. Then again, I had seen the cover and it didn't look like one of those books.

"Bella," I said her name quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Don't be nervous. I'm sure I'll love it. Besides it's not like I haven't read romantic screenplays before." I tried to keep my voice light so she knew it wasn't a big deal.

"What? Oh, I'm not. I mean…yeah, it's just that…you know there's some…girly childhood stuff and I don't want you to think it's stupid or whatever."

"I doubt Twilight would have bought the right to make it into a big budget film if it was stupid." She remained silent so I kept talking. "Besides, I'm excited. I feel bad that I never got the chance to read your book. Screenplays seem to be all I read lately, so this works to my advantage. I can do my job by reading the screenplay and get a glimpse of your book in the process."

"That's what I call killing two birds with one stone." She laughed.

The sound of my mom talking in the background floated through the phone. I could hear other voices as well and assumed that only meant one thing. The book club had arrived.

"Hey Edward," she said, her voice sounded a little strained. "Your mom says I have to go. People are arriving."

"Alright, tell her I'll call her tomorrow." I paused, feeling a pull within my chest. I didn't want to get off the phone but I knew I had to. "It was great talking with you. We'll have to try it again sometime, especially after I read this screenplay. Texting is fun but I may start getting carpel tunnel from the small keys," I teased, in hopes that she'd agree.

"Sure. I'll talk to you later then. Merry Christmas, Edward."

"Merry Christmas, Bella." We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone remembering another time that I'd ended a conversation with Bella with those exact words. It was so many years ago but the memory of the nerves I'd felt the entire day before giving her the Christmas CD were fresh in my mind.

I shook my head and laughed at myself. I really was a nervous wreck around her those days. She was always sweet and funny though, and never made me feel like a fifteen year old dork with a crush.

Lately I found myself thinking more about those days. Wondering what it would have been like if I had been brave enough to tell her that I liked her my freshman year. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to spend more time with her and I couldn't figure out if it was only because of those old feelings I once had, or if it was something new.

I took a deep breath and exhaled, letting my eyes close briefly. My shoulders rolled forward and I could feel sleep threatening to overtake me after my long day. Forcing my eyes open I grabbed the envelope and ripped the tab back. After my phone call with Bella I had the desire more than ever to read the screenplay. I pulled out the thick stack of papers and flipped it open. I skipped ahead to the opening scene.

***

_KATHERINE SMITH, who goes by KATE, clutches to her books on the first day of school as she stumbles across the parking lot, earning looks from the other students. KATE drops her head in attempt to hide herself from peering eyes. Her dark hair and eyes contrast greatly against the pale tone of her skin._

***

_Hmm, typical nervous girl on her first day of school. _I thought. If there was one thing Bella knew, it was what it's like to be new to a high school.

I skimmed through the first few pages looking for the character introduction of the part I'd be playing.

***

_In the school hallway, ANDREW CONNER walks with his backpack slung over one shoulder. ANDREW is fifteen years old, short, skinny, dressed in a Bulldogs High School tee-shirt and jeans. His hair is in disarray but he doesn't seem to mind as he smiles at people passing him by._

***

Marcus had told me earlier that Twilight was still looking for a younger "me". Apparently the lead male character goes through a growth spurt and there is no way I can play a scrawny fifteen year old. I'm already stretching the eighteen year old range as it is.

Skipping over some of the direction I went on to read the slug line for the next scene.

***

INT--BRANDYWINE HIGH SCHOOL- SCIENCE CLASSROOM- MID DAY

_Andrew walks into the crowded room, making his way around the other students and finds that someone is sitting at his once private lab table. Kate has her head down and she's focused on her papers in front of her, doodling._

**ANDREW**

What are you drawing?

_Kate notices Andrew and smiles. She shrugs looking over her drawings while Andrew takes his seat beside her._

**KATE**

Just some flowers and stuff. I tried to draw a frog, but I don't think I have a very accurate memory of what they look like.

**ANDREW**

Those are awesome. I like that one especially.

_Andrew points at the paper._

**ANDREW (CONT'D)**

It looks like some sort of horse snake.

_Teacher walks in and class begins. Before long both Kate and Andrew are passing the paper back and forth, adding to the drawing, making it more elaborate. They seem to be enjoying each others company. Laughing and sharing glances at one another. Time Lapse. Bell rings, class dismissed._

**ANDREW**

What's your name, by the way? I'm Andrew.

_Andrew reaches out his hand and they shake._

**KATE**

My name is Katherine, but I go by Kate.

**ANDREW**

Cool. It was nice to meet you. I'm sure I'll see you around. And hey, bring that paper to class tomorrow. We can add to it.

**KATE**

Sure.

_Andrew walks out of the room and Kate watches him with a smile. She has a friend._

END SCENE-

***

I sat back against the soft chair and dropped the screenplay to my lap. I had a hard time wrapping my brain around what I'd just read. I didn't have the best memory of high school, in fact there were probably plenty of things I forgot, but this memory was not one of them. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was me. No it was _us_--me and Bella. It was how we first met.

I skimmed over the words a second time and felt just as shocked as the first read through. I wasn't expecting it. But then again, I didn't know what to expect. It was awkward to see something personal like that on paper. But at the same time I was…flattered? I was glad that this memory was something Bella remembered. That she thought it important enough to use in one of her stories. If this truly was a love story about people who started off as friends, well, there was no better example of good friends then Bella and me.

I focused on this fact instead of the shock I felt as I picked up the screenplay and skimmed through it. I didn't have time tonight to read the whole thing but I wanted to get a feel for the characters. I stopped half way through, when the characters were older, and read.

***

INT--KATE'S BEDROOM- NIGHT

_Andrea and Katherine are sitting on the bed, flipping through magazines. Typical girl's sleepover._

**ANDREA**

So I saw you talking with Andrew in the hall today.

**KATE**

Yeah.

_Kate shrugs, feigning interest._

**ANDREA**

Do you want to talk about it?

**KATE**

What's there to talk about? We're friends. Friends talk.

_Andrea is frustrated and closes the magazine looking at Kate. She is disbelieving._

**ANDREA**

Kate…

**KATE**

We are. We're friends. You know that.

**ANDREA**

I know you are. But….I just can't help but think that maybe…I don't know.  
I've seen the way you look at him, and the way he looks at you.

_Kate is silent but seems to be having a mental battle._

**KATE**

It doesn't matter how I look at him. He'll always look at me as just his friend.

**ANDREA**

You don't know that unless you tell him.

**KATE**

How? What do I do? Just walk up to him and say, "hey I know that we've been friends for years but I'm kind of in love with you.  
Sorry I didn't tell you before?" Besides he has a girlfriend and she's beautiful and perfect and everything I'm not.

**ANDREA**

That's right. She's everything you're not. And he still likes you.

**KATE**

As his friend.

**ANDREA**

Like I said, you'll never know unless you tell him.

_Kate stills in silence thinking about it._

**ANDREA (CONT'D)**

You could go to the game tomorrow you know. He'll notice that you're there since you _never_ go.  
You could maybe…I don't know talk to him then.

**KATE**

I hate football.

**ANDREA**

I know you do. But look at the bright side. You'll get to see him in those tight pants. He's got one fine ass.

**KATE**

Yeah he does.

_Tension in the room dissipates and they laugh._

END SCENE-

***

_Well, the main character plays football. I've got that in common with him. That won't be hard to pull off. _I started to feel more confident, knowing that I hadn't accepted the role of a hockey player or something. Learning to ice skate well enough to look the part would have been tough.

I skipped to the next scene until I found my lines.

***

HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAME- DAYTIME

_ANDREW is dressed in football attire. Game just ended and he notices Kate standing by the side of the fence, waiting for him._

**ANDREW**

You came!

**KATE**

Well I figured I should come to _one _of your games. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't?

**ANDREW**

Nah, I'd be your friend even if you didn't come. You should know that by now.

_Andrew looks at her with a crooked smile and Kate drops her head, nervously playing with her hands._

**KATE**

Yeah…

_Kate is silent for a pause before squaring her shoulders and looking up at Andrew._

**KATE (CONT'D)**

I wanted to talk to you. I mean, we don't have to talk now since you're all…sweaty and everything. But maybe we could meet later like—

**ANDREW**

How about I go get changed and you meet me in the parking lot?

**KATE**

Sounds good.

_Andrew runs off for the lockers and Kate heads toward the parking lot, mumbling words of encouragement to herself._

MOSTLY EMPTY SCHOOL PARKING LOT- DAYTIME-

_Kate is pacing back and forth in front of Andrews car. She is talking to herself. Andrew stops when he sees her and watches before approaching._

**ANDREW**

You'll wear out the concrete pacing like that.

**KATE**

I don't think it'll mind. Me and concrete go way back. You know after all those face-to-face meetings we've become really close.

**ANDREW**

You are one of the most accident prone girls I've met. I think if it weren't for my super fast reflexes you'd  
spend more time laying on the ground than walking on it.

_Kate is annoyed by the jab and rolls her eyes._

**KATE**

Alright Superman. Not all of us are lucky enough to have your super human abilities.

_Andrew laughs but his face gets serious after a minute._

**ANDREW**

So…what did you want to talk about?

**KATE**

I just…I wanted to tell you something and this is quite possibly the stupidest thing  
I've ever done but I have to because after three years of not saying anything it's just…

**ANDREW**

Kate, whatever it is you can tell me. I'm your friend.

_Kate cuts him off. They talk over each other._

**KATE**

I don't want to be your friend.

**ANDREW**

What? Why would you…

**KATE**

Because I like you okay. A lot. Probably more than I should, and definitely more than you like me.

_They stare at each other in silence_

**KATE (CONT'D)**

Please say something.

**ANDREW**

How long?

**KATE**

I don't know--a while. We were friends and then one day it just changed for me.

**ANDREW**

Why didn't you tell me?

_He's shocked_

**KATE**

Because I know you don't feel the same way. We've been friends for so long and I knew that if I told you,  
chances were we wouldn't be friends anymore. And then you started dating Tammy and I don't know...  
I guess I was afraid of having you look at me like you're looking at me now.

**ANDREW**

Kate…I just—

**KATE**

Look, let's just forget about it okay?

_She shakes her head as tears begin to fall._

**KATE (CONT'D)**

I'm sorry.

_Kate turns around and runs to her truck, climbs in and starts the engine while Andrew stands in the same spot, immovable._

END SCENE-

***

I dropped the script on the table and found myself staring at the blue floral pattern of the wallpaper. All of my previous thoughts of having a small part in Bella's story quickly faded away. I was beginning to wonder just how big a part I'd actually played.

The last scene that took place in the parking lot was too similar to one that I'd had with Bella during our senior year. Right down to the Superman comment. She had finally come to one of my football games and I was shocked to see her. I remember thinking that she looked a bit nervous when she asked if she could talk to me. But when I came out of the locker room she wasn't there. I asked her about it later but she blew it off like it was no big deal.

_Is that what she wanted to talk to me about? Did she feel that way?_

My head was in a whirlwind and I almost felt dizzy. I leaned forward, resting my head in my hands, trying to make sense of everything. Cleary I was a huge part of this story but I didn't know what that meant. Writers always say they write what they know. So was this all based on real feelings that she had or did she just take the basis of our friendship and build an entirely different plot from it?

Every question I had just led to another and then to another. I took a deep breath and told myself to relax so I could think clearly. It was obvious that the only person who had all the answers was Bella and she was thousands of miles away. I couldn't even imagine trying to broach the subject over the phone so I told myself that I'd think about that later. Besides I had plenty of other things to think about. Like what if she really felt that way? _What if she did like me in high school?_ I was even crazy enough to wonder if perhaps some of those feelings still resided within her. _Exactly how much of this is fiction and how much is reality? _

**BPOV**

"Merry Christmas, Bella," he said smoothly. I listened to his voice, committing it to memory. I had no clue when I'd hear it again, especially after he read the screenplay.

"Bye," I whispered before hanging up.

I sat, frozen at the desk, staring at the phone still clutched in my hand. The numbers on the keys blurred together and all I saw was grey. I knew that people were arriving because Esme had told me as much, but I couldn't hear them. All I could hear was the slight ringing in my ears and the fast rhythmic pounding of my heart. His words kept floating through my mind. "_I was just going to sit down and read it."_

I always thought I knew how I'd react once I found out that Edward had read the book. I knew that I'd be nervous and definitely embarrassed. I wasn't expecting to panic and he wasn't even reading the book yet. It was just the screenplay. Maybe it was worse because I knew he was reading it right _now_. Because thousands of miles away he was sitting down to read it and that, in a matter of hours, maybe even minutes he'd know how I'd always felt.

I took a deep breath in attempt to calm my nerves. I told myself that I knew this would happen someday. I just wasn't expecting to be in his life again when he did. I always said I wanted more than friendship with him, but now that we were just starting to be friends again I was terrified of loosing everything. _What if he reads it and thinks I'm nuts? What if it changes the way he acts towards me? Or even worse, what if he never contacts me again? _I always hated the word "friend" when it pertained to us but, when faced with having him as a friend or nothing, I knew what I'd choose. No matter how much it hurt me, I'd choose his friendship, just like I had in high school.

"Bella, honey, are you ready to start?" Esme's sweet voice pulled my out of my panicked state.

I took a deep cleansing breath and tried to push all of my thoughts and concerns aside. Plastering on a smile and hoping that Esme would buy it, I spun around to face her.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I could hear the strained tone of my voice and apparently so could Esme.

She leaned forward and placed her hand on my knee. "Sweetheart is everything okay? I hope I didn't upset you by having you speak with Edward. Alice told me that--"

"Wait," I held up my hand to stop her, "you talked to Alice?"

Esme dropped her eyes. "Yes. I spoke with her earlier today."

"Why did she--" I paused mid sentence, shaking my head. I didn't know why I was even shocked. Of course Alice had called Esme. That's what Alice did.

"I hope you aren't upset," she said once again, looking at me with so much concern that she looked like my own mother.

"No, of course not." _But Alice is dead. _

"Good," she stood up and smiled triumphantly. "I take it you had a good conversation then?"

I didn't know what to say. The beginning of the conversation was great--in fact all of it was wonderful right up until the last few minutes. There was no way that I was going to tell Esme that. The thought of her knowing about my feelings for Edward was bad enough. The last thing I wanted was to tell her that he could quite possibly be playing himself in a movie based on my book.

_Oh Lord, I didn't even think of that. _

Him reading the screenplay or the book was bad enough, but knowing that he may star in the movie? That was too overwhelming to even think about. _Yeah, I'm definitely not telling Esme that. _

"The conversation was great. I think he really wanted to be home for Christmas. He said thank you for the cookies and that he'd call you later." I stood up from the chair just as a tall blonde woman walked into the kitchen.

"Esme, I think we need a few more chairs. Should I grab the ones from the dining room?" Esme turned around to answer her but didn't get a word out before the woman squealed causing both Esme and I to jump.

"Oh my, I'm sorry." The woman said, covering her mouth with her hand. "I told myself I wouldn't freak out and go all _crazy fan-girl_ on you."

The look on the woman's face was one of shock and admiration and I couldn't help but laugh, thankful for the moment of distraction.

Esme placed one hand on my back while holding the other out to her friend. "Bella this is Eileen. And I promise she always squeals when she sees me. It's just her way," she teased.

I laughed at the expression on Eileen's face as Esme shot imaginary daggers at her friend.

"Eileen it's nice to meet you," I stepped forward and held out my hand.

"I'm so happy to meet you. I'm a huge fan of yours--a _huge_ fan. You can't imagine how excited I was when Esme said that you'd come and speak to our little group." She clasped my hand in hers and shook it excitedly.

"I'm glad that I could do it. Plus, I could never say no to Esme." I had a feeling that even if I had said no she would have tricked me into coming here anyway. I was beginning to think that maybe she and Alice were more alike then I ever knew.

"Shall we get started then? I know everyone is so excited to meet you."

I nodded that I was ready and the three of us headed into the formal living room.

The room was perfectly decorated, much like the rest of the house. The dark hardwood floors in contrast with the cream walls made everything feel warm and inviting. Even the furniture looked comfortable. I was surprised to see so many women filling the room but quickly realized that I shouldn't be. Esme was involved in so many town functions and organizations that I'm sure she could have had an even bigger turn out had she announced it to everyone.

I stepped through the archway, following behind Esme who lead me up to the front of the room. All the chairs and even the couches had been moved to face one direction. I noticed the piano bench sitting in front of the grand piano at the head of the room and knew that would be my seat. _Of course it would be the piano bench. _I felt my cheeks grow warm at the thought, and at being the center of attention. I'd done book signings all over the United States and interviews that were televised and every time I'd blush scarlet. I would think that after all of _that,_ a small book club meeting wouldn't make me nervous. I was wrong. I don't think it was something I'd ever get used to.

Esme started to speak and the room quieted down quickly. I could feel almost every set of eyes on me as she welcomed everyone to her home and thanked them for coming. Apparently they all were told to come with questions ready to ask me, to keep the evening flowing smoothly. I nodded to Esme confirming that it was fine and before I knew it she had left my side and taken a seat in the front row. I swallowed down the lump that was in my throat and smiled tentatively.

"Before I start I wanted to say that I'm really excited to be here." I smiled genuinely at everyone and felt myself relax a little now that I was talking. "I guess we can get started." No sooner were the words out of my mouth than I saw Eileen's hand shoot up. I couldn't force the smile from my face as I called on her.

"I wanted to know if Andrew was based on someone that you know. And if yes, where can I find him?"

I hysterical laugh, caused only by nerves, bubbled up from my throat and I almost choked on my spit. My cheeks instinctively burned and I tried to cover up my reaction. I'd been asked this question before, but being here in _his_ house, on _his _piano bench, made it all feel surreal. My eyes instantly went to Esme's and her knowing smirk didn't go unnoticed by me. I hoped that when I gave the routine answer I always gave, that she wouldn't call me out.

I took a calming breath. _At least_ _the most embarrassing question will be out of the way first._

"Andrew is a character I created. Certain characteristics were taken from a few different people that I've known over the years and of course a lot of fantasizing about the perfect guy came into play. He is exactly the type of guy I'd want to be with so he is an easy character to fall in love with. After all, who doesn't want to end up with their dream?"

I received the typical round of "aww's" that I always heard when I gave the rehearsed answer and although I smiled, I felt the all too familiar ache in my chest. I chanced a look over at Esme and she gave me a heartfelt smile that seemed to say all would be okay. I didn't know if she was right but for the moment I had to let myself believe it.

The next few questions were pretty basic. How long did it take me to write the entire book? What character was my favorite to write? Did I always want to be a writer? It was a relief to have questions that steered away from anything related to Edward. I could answer them honestly and not censor every word before it came out of my mouth. I wished every question would be that simple, but they never were. They grew more personal as the evening continued.

"I often hear that writers write what they know. Is that the case with your story?"

Again I noticed Esme perk up slightly in her chair awaiting my answer.

"I think we've all experienced some sort of heartache in our lives. I know what its like to love someone that you can't have and that's the emotion I tried to show in my writing."

"So do you believe in young love?"

"The love that Katherine has for Andrew is something pure and innocent. To the outside observer, a relationship like that may seem like a small high school crush. People always say that young love is fleeting but I don't believe that. I believe that love, no matter the age of the people who share in it, can be something powerful and amazing. Something strong enough to alter the way you look at life. I wanted Katherine and Andrew to be an example of that. I wanted to show that a pure, innocent love can be great and infinite."

There was a collective sigh in the room as I discussed the love that Katherine and Andrew shared. Everyone seemed to agree with my statement and it made me smile. If there was one thing I knew it was the power of love, the way it can break you and hold you together and continue on for years even if it's not reciprocated. Without realizing it I felt the wave of emotions hit me and I had to blink back the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I would think that after all these years talking about it, I'd be able to retain some composure. _Apparently not. _

I dropped my head to the side and tried to shield my face with my hair when I heard Esme speak up.

"Well ladies, I think it's been a fabulous meeting and perhaps we should all move into the dining room for refreshments. I'm sure Bella won't mind sticking around to answer any other questions you may have while we eat."

I lifted my eyes to hers and smiled appreciatively. She smiled back and led the group into the next room.

I spent the next hour or so mingling, answering a few more questions and signing everyone's copy of Angel at Dusk. Eventually people left and I was left alone with Esme once again.

"Bella I want to thank you again for coming tonight. It was really great of you," she said loading the sink with dishes.

"No problem. I like being able to do it. It's not very often that I get to spend one-on-one time with people who enjoy my writing so much."

She was silent for a minute, staring into the sink. "I didn't know," she finally said in a whisper, while turning to face me. "I mean I knew…but I didn't …_know_. Do you still feel that way?"

I didn't know what to say. I wasn't planning on having this conversation with her and I couldn't clear the thoughts swarming in my head enough to form a coherent response. I must have been holding my breath because I felt my body start to sway and my head felt light. I sucked in a gulp of air, filling my lungs as much as I could and willed my legs to stay put. Esme was still waiting for me to answer and, as much as I wanted to just tell her everything, I couldn't. I also knew that I couldn't deny my feelings either. She knew enough all ready.

"Do we ever fully get over our first love?" I finally said, shrugging my shoulders.

"I suppose not." She walked over to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. "I know how he cares about you and is grateful to have your friendship. That may not bring much comfort to you, but to Edward it means a lot. I know you have your reasons for not telling him but perhaps it's time to overlook those fears."

"You sound like my mom," I laughed.

"Well we're both smart mothers." She smiled back and I knew that she wasn't going to press the subject further. I nodded, letting her know that I understood her advice and thanked her once again as she walked me to the door.

"Have a Merry Christmas, Bella," she called as I walked to my car.

"Merry Christmas to you!" My warm breath circled my face in a cloud of white smoke and I climbed into my car. I started the engine and waited for the car to warm up. I ignored the cold as best I could as I thought over the day's events. What started off as a simple, well simple and embarrassing, book club meeting turned into so much more. My head felt like it was going to explode and I needed an outlet. So I did the only thing I could do. I called Alice.

"How did it go?" she asked after the first ring.

"Alice Brandon you are in trouble!" I yelled, feeling some tension release already. "I told you, no calling Esme. You didn't listen to me and now thanks to _you _Edward is reading the screenplay and he's probably going to accept the role and figure everything out and Esme knows that I'm still completely in love with him."

I finished my rant and I still hadn't been cut off, which for Alice was almost impossible. "Alice?" I asked, making sure she was still there.

"Yes?"

"Are you going to apologize?"

"Should I?"

"Yes," I said in an exasperated huff.

"Bella, did you enjoy your phone call with Edward?" She already knew my answer would be "yes" so she continued. "Did you know there was a possibility that someday Edward would read your book, or in this case the screenplay?" She had me again. Of course I knew that is could happen. I always secretly wanted him to; I just never thought it would be like this. "And you _do_ realize that the only way you'll ever know how he feels is if you tell him how you feel, which you already said you couldn't do. And at the end of the day, Esme would have found out anyway. It's obvious you still love him. You might as well tattoo it to your forehead, or in your case, your red cheeks."

_Damn it, why is she always right?_

I rolled my eyes and shoved the car into gear. "Alice, what if he takes the part?"

"Then it will be perfect casting."

"I'm serious. What if he doesn't want to talk to me after he figures everything out? If he accepts the role Alice, I'm _going_ to see him. I don't know what I'd do."

"I do believe I said at one point in time that it would be crazy if that happened. It's funny how some things happen isn't it?"

"Hysterical," I said dryly. I was silent as I turned down the street and onto the main road. My heart was still a fluttering mess and my stomach felt like it was twisted into a thousand knots. _How did this happen? _I thought to myself. As if Alice heard my silent question she answered.

"Everything will be okay Bella. After all of this time you'll know one way or the other how he feels. That's the only way you'll be able to move on, with or without Edward. All you can do is wait and see what happens next."

I bit down on my lip, facing the emotions that were threatening to force their way to the surface after an exhausting day. Alice was right; all I could do now was wait.

**

* * *

**

Dun Dun Dun....what will he do??

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter!!

**I'm going to be writing a rec. for The Lazy Yet Discerning Ficster. It's a great site and there are some fabulous recs there as well as great articles, go check it out! The link is on my profile. **

**I'm also participating in the Support Stacie Author Auction. So if you want me to write something just for you...ANYTHING you want. Go bid! Its for a great cause. I'll post that link too. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Author Note:**** Yeah it's been a while since I've updated, sorry. As it turns out Edward being confused seems to make me confused. heh. **

**Thanks to my amazing beta Shwriteme who tells me when things make sense and when they don't.**

**I also want to thank everyone who bid in the support stacie auction. You guys blew me away. The fabulous KPerry won and said she will share whatever I write. So be on the look out for a Stitches and Scars outtake. It should be a yummy one. heh. **

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own these characters, Stephanie Meyer does.**

**Chapter 12**

**EPOV**

I woke to the shrill ringing of the hotel room phone. I rolled over and fumbled in the darkness, searching the night stand.

"Hello," my voice was groggy and deeper than normal.

"This is your six o'clock wake up call."

I looked at the clock and sure enough it was six. I didn't remember asking for a wake-up call this morning and realized Kate must have called it in.

"Thanks," I mumbled before hanging up.

I pulled the covers aside and sat up quickly. My head spun and I leaned forward, resting my head in my hands. I was exhausted from staying up late. I hadn't planned on finishing the script, but after reading part of it I couldn't stop.

Scenes played out in my head with vivid clarity as I read and I could picture myself back in high school. It was an odd feeling. Almost every scene that involved Kate and Andrew were moments that I remembered sharing with Bella.

Like the pep rally senior year when I'd been made, along with the rest of the male homecoming court, to dress up like a girl.

I reached down to the floor and picked up the screenplay. I flipped through the pages until I found the scene and re-read.

***

INT—BRANDYWINE HIGHSCHOOL- GYM-PEP RALLY

_Bleachers are packed with students. The band is playing the fight song as cheerleaders dance in the middle of the court. Andrew and the other football players are standing on the foul line. _

**BRIAN**

I can't believe we're gonna let them do this.

**ANDREW**

It's not that bad. It's just a dress. Unless you're afraid your legs are too…girly.

_Andrew smiles and it's easy to see the friendly relationship the two boys share. _

**BRIAN**

I've studied taekwondo for five years. My legs are anything but girly.

They're all man legs, manly, hairy, tough guy legs.

_Brian is trying to convince himself. Clearly he is nervous. Andrew leans in to talk. _

**ANDREW**

Look, if it helps. Tammy told me she put one of her long ones in there.

Grab it and I'll take the short one.

_Brain nods his head and looks relieved. _

**ANDREW (CONT'D)**

Plus, nothing can be as bad as Matthews's legs.

_They both look down the row to Matthew and laugh to each other. _

**BRIAN**

And don't forget the added bonus of dressing the girls in uniform.

I've been waiting to see Andrea in my jersey for a year.

_Their talking is cut off when Tammy is handed the microphone in the center of the court. The band stops playing_.

**TAMMY**

Okay everyone. We're going to officially announce this year's homecoming

court and do the traditional dress swap.

***

I couldn't hide the smile I felt stretch across my face as I read the scene. Ben and I already knew who the nominees were. Some news wasn't kept secret in our school and since I had an inside source it was easy information.

The scene wasn't exactly what Ben and I had discussed that day on the court but it was close. Ben was always nervous about anything involving Angela. I'm just glad they eventually got past all the nerves and went for it.

I turned my attention back to the script, absorbing every detail of Bella's experience at the pep rally.

***

INT—GYM- BLEACHERS- - CONTINUOUS

**ANDREA**

Why do they do this stupid dress swap anyway? It's not like we actually

enjoy seeing guys dress up as girls.

**KATE**

I don't know. It's something they've been doing forever. Some things you just do

because they're tradition. People don't actually stop and say

"Wait a minute, why are we doing this again?"

**ANDREA**

Yeah well, they should.

_There's a pause and Kate looks at her friend with a smirk as if contemplating telling her something. _

**ANDREA (CONT'D)**

What?

_Andrea looks her over and narrows her eyes. _

**ANDREA (CONT'D)**

I know that look Kate.

**KATE**

What look?

**ANDREA**

The look that says, "I have something to tell you but I don't know if I should, look."

**KATE**

Well, I don't know if I should.

_Kate shrugs and looks away but Andrea stares her down, waiting_.

**KATE (CONT'D)**

Okay fine. But you can't say anything. Andrew only told me because

I acted like it was no big deal.

**ANDREA**

Well is it a big deal?

**KATE**

Maybe?

_Andrea waits for her to start talking. You can see the anticipation pouring off of her. _

**KATE (CONT'D)**

I think you may be nominated. And I'm pretty sure Brian

wants you to wear his jersey.

_Andrea's eyes are wide with shock._

**ANDREA**

He said that? When did he say that? And what do you mean by

you _think _I may be nominated.

**KATE**

Okay so it's more like I _know_ you're nominated.

Andrew told me yesterday in English class.

**ANDREA**

Yesterday! Why didn't you tell me? I would've

worn my hair down or something.

_Andrea keeps talking and fiddles with her hair but Kate isn't paying attention. Andrew's name is called as a nominee and she is watching him closely. _

**ANDREA (CONT'D)**

…Andrew. Don't you think?

_Upon hearing Andrews name Kate finally realizes that Andrea is talking to her._

**KATE**

What'd you say?

**ANDREA**

I said, Andrew's going to win homecoming king, don't you think?

**KATE**

Yeah, probably, it'll either be him or Matthew.

**ANDREA**

Speaking of Matthew, have you decided what you're going to tell him about Prom?

**KATE**

No, it's months away. I still don't understand why he asked me so early.

**ANDREA**

Kate, he's been trying to stake his claim on you since your first day of school here.

He'll do whatever it takes to make sure you're his date.

_Kate rolls her eyes, obviously annoyed by the topic of discussion. Andrea's name is called. She and Kate exchange a smile and Andrea walks down the bleachers and onto the court. _

_The scene plays out and Kate watches the boys dress the girls in football uniform followed by the girls helping the boys into skirts and frilly tops. The band starts to play again as the entire homecoming court is announced. The bleachers start to empty and Kate gets up to leave. _

INT—HIGH SCHOOL- HALLWAY- CONTINUOUS

_Kate's walking with her head slightly down. Two boys are rough housing in front of her and one steps back, almost knocking into her. She stumbles to avoid getting hit. Andrew grabs her shoulder, helping her gain balance. _

**ANDREW**

Hey, you alright?

**KATE**

Yeah. It's nothing I'm not used to.

_Kate shakes it off and looks down noticing Andrews attire. She tries to hold back her laugh but it's impossible. _

**KATE (CONT'D)**

Nice skirt.

**ANDREW**

Thank you, I feel it really brings out the color of my eyes.

Don't you think?

_He leans in batting his lashes and Kate rolls her eyes._

**KATE**

Why yes. They look absolutely beautiful. They're all sparkly and vibrant.

You know a good blue eye shadow would make them even more dazzling.

**ANDREW**

I'll have to keep that in mind next time I wear it.

There's nothing better than being dazzling.

**KATE**

Next time? Okay well _next time_ I suggest shaving your legs.

**ANDREW**

Oh come on. You like my legs.

**KATE**

Alright, you caught me. I like them. They're wonderful.

**ANDREW**

Thanks, although they aren't as nice as yours.

_Kate's eyes get wide. Andrew doesn't notice her reaction because Brian and Andrea walk up. Brian is tugging at his skirt, clearly uncomfortable. _

**BRIAN**

How long do we actually have to wear these things?

**ANDREW**

Till the end of the day.

**BRIAN**

Great

**ANDREA**

Don't complain. I have to wear a shirt that's three sizes to big

and smells like teenage boy.

**BRI****AN**

Ha-ha--very funny.

_Andrea smiles playfully at Brian. 5 minute warning bell rings. Kate still hasn't said a word. Andrea grabs her arm and pulls her toward the door._

**ANDREA**

We'll catch you guys later.

_Both boys nod and disappear into another classroom._

INT—HIGH SCHOOL- HALLWAY (CONTINUOUS)

**ANDREA **

Kate, are you okay? You look flush.

**KATE**

I'm fine. Andrew and I were just talking.

_Kate blows it off. It's no big deal. Andrea looks at her closely. Knows there is something more that she's not saying_.

**ANDREA**

What did he say?

**KATE**

Umm, nothing really. We were just talking about his skirt.

**ANDREA**

And all this talk of him and a skirt has you flustered?

**KATE**

Well no. He, um, he said that um…that he thought I had nice legs.

**ANDREA**

Seriously?

_Kate nods her head trying not so smile._

**ANDREA**

And what did you say?

**KATE**

Nothing. You and Brian walked up. Not

that I'd actually have anything to say to that. It's no big deal anyway.

**ANDREA**

Sure, it's no big deal. He just _happened_ to mention that he likes your legs, which basically means he's checked you out.

**KATE**

He's a guy. All guys look at girls.

**ANDREA**

Whatever Kate. Keep telling yourself that.

_The two girls look at each other before Kate bursts into a wide grin. Bell rings. Girls enter classroom. _

END SCENE.

***

I dropped the script on the floor and fell back into bed, running my hands over my face. I vaguely remembered having that conversation with Bella after the pep-rally. It was a crazy day, I did remember that, and I knew I talked to her about the outfits.

It was strange how I remembered the moment as friendly banter between two friends, but it clearly meant a little more than that. After reading the way Kate reacted in the screenplay I began to wonder. Did Bella react the same way Kate had and I just didn't know it? _Just another unanswered question. _

Last night when I'd read, I found myself engrossed in every scene as if I would give a deeper insight into Bella's feelings. By the time I had finished I was still confused and didn't know what to make of it. How much fiction was mixed with the reality? I'd gone to bed with a pounding headache and told myself I'd think about it in the morning.

And now, five hours later, I was just as confused as I'd been last night. The same unanswered questions were bouncing around in my head. What if she really felt that way? What if she did like me in high school, or love me even? And lastly, what were the possibilities that some of those feelings were still there? And what did it mean if they were? Did I still feel that way about her?

I thought about these questions as I got ready for the day. I thought about it while I sat in the make-up chair for an hour and pretended to listen to Garrett. I thought about it in between takes and while I ate. _She liked me in high school, but doesn't anymore. She loved me in high school and still has feelings for me. We were just friends and that's it. _

*****

I repeated the options over and over in my mind for three days and each time I had the same reaction. While the thought of Bella actually liking me in high school and never saying anything made me laugh out of irony. It was the thought of her _still_ feeling that way that made me smile and made my heart race. Of course this left me feeling even more confused. I was so thankful to be friends with Bella again after all these years and thinking about the possibility of more was--well; I didn't know what it was. I thought back to the day after Thanksgiving. In the parking lot there'd been a moment when I was saying goodbye to her that I'd wanted to kiss her. I'd wanted to hold her longer than I should. Up until this moment I'd pushed that feeling aside and wrote it off as past emotions from a high school crush resurfacing, but now I wasn't so sure that's all it was.

I wanted to pick up the phone and call Bella but I couldn't. I'd struggled for three days and still didn't know what to do. I didn't even know what to ask her. Every time I thought of the direction our conversation could go, I felt a tightening of my chest. _What if it made things awkward and we didn't talk anymore? _

I swallowed the uncomfortable lump that formed in my throat and picked up my phone. _I may not be able to call Bella just yet, but I can call home. _

"Hello," Emmett practically shouted into the phone.

"Hey Em," I said with a laugh, picturing him standing with an ear bud in one ear and the phone pressed against the other.

"Yo Ed, how's it going in Prague?" he continued speaking louder than normal.

"Emmett, turn your damn ipod off. You're yelling."

"Oh yeah, sure." I heard a shift of the phone and, when he came back on the line, he spoke in his normal sound level, which was still louder than most.

"So what's going on in Prague today? Did you have to be on set?"

"We had a few shoots earlier. Some of the places they wanted to film are closed for the holidays so it makes it easier to get access. We got in there early though and we have the rest of the evening off. A bunch of us are getting together for dinner later."

"Cool, cool. Are Kate and Garrett going?"

"Yeah, they'll be there."

"Tell Garrett that the Patriots are going to kick the Broncos ass."

I rolled my eyes and had to laugh. Emmett met Garrett on the set of the Superman movie. It was one of the roles that I needed to bulk up for and Emmett was the perfect person for the job. For someone who was so laid back in life, he took his job seriously. When he wasn't forcing eggs and protein shakes down my throat or making me sweat with excessive workouts, he hung around on set. After being introduced to Garrett and finding out that he was a fellow football fanatic, the two hit it off and Emmett always made sure that I relayed his comments on upcoming games.

"I'll tell him, but you know the Broncos have a chance this year. Marshall is on fire."

"Whatever man, Patriots have Brady. Don't de delusional."

Knowing that I wasn't going to win this fight I settled for telling him we'd wait and see come game day.

"You wanna talk to Mom? She hates not having you here you know."

"Yeah I know. I wish I was there too, believe me."

"What? You mean you don't like spending your Christmas hanging out in a plush, five star hotel?"

"It's not the same as home. You know that."

"I know, I know." There was a pause in conversation and I could hear my mom talking in the back round. "Alright, here's Mom. Merry Christmas."

"You too Em, I'll catch you later."

I heard some more talking in the background and it sounded like my mom was scolding Emmett for eating the cookie dough. _Some things never change._

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," my mother sang into the phone.

I smiled at her excitement. "Merry Christmas, Mom."

"Are you done filming for the day?"

I repeated everything I'd just told Emmett and she was excited to hear that I had plans for dinner. "No one should be alone for the holidays," she said.

We spent the next few minutes talking about the dinner she had planned for that evening. She and my father invited some friends over and they were planning on a large crowd. When she mentioned her friend Eileen and the funny way in which she reacted to meeting Bella my ears perked up.

"Oh really? What did she do?"

"She squealed and had a fan girl moment. I tell you what, Bella has quite the following. And she handled the whole thing so gracefully. She really is something."

I smiled internally. The word graceful and Bella weren't often used in the same sentence, in a physical sense at least. Yet now as my mother said it, I could picture it clearly. I could imagine Bella poised and charming. Answering questions and being nothing but kind. Opening up about her writing and putting herself out there. I felt another twinge of sadness that I hadn't made it home for the holidays. I would have loved to see Bella in her element.

As if my mother felt the sadness in my silence she told me again how much she wished I was home.

"I know Mom. I wish I was home too. I promise, next year I'll be there."

"You better believe you will. Even if I have to fly to some remote location and bring you home myself." She laughed while she spoke but there was no doubt in my mind that she was serious.

After making me open the gifts she sent, while on the phone so she could hear my reaction, my mom handed the phone off to my dad. We spend a little while talking and I told him all about Prague. He was always interested in other cultures and their way of life. Prague was one of the places he hadn't visited yet, but always wanted to.

I could feel our conversation coming to a close and he caught me off guard by asking if everything was okay.

"Sure, why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know. I just get a sense that there's something on your mind."

I quickly ran through our conversation and tried to pin point a time where I may have been distracted or slow to respond but I couldn't find one. He was right of course. There _was_ something weighing on my mind. There were questions, bouncing around, waiting to be answered. I didn't want to go into full detail but I wasn't going to lie either.

"Yeah, between the movie and other deals I'm signed up for, it's just a lot to take in. My mind is kind of jumbled right now. You know those times where you're so confused you don't even know what to think?"

He was silent for a moment, no doubt thinking over my comment. "Well son. Its times like that when you stop thinking. You simply go by the way you feel. You do that and everything else will turn out fine."

I absorbed his subtle words of advice and knew they made sense. I thanked him before saying goodbye, making sure he told everyone Merry Christmas again, and hung up the phone.

I sat back in the chair and repeated my dad's advice. _Stop thinking and go by what you feel. _That was a lot easier said then done. I didn't know how strong my feelings were for Bella. I'd only come back in contact with her a month ago. _Could I feel more than just friendship for her? Do I know her enough to answer that? _Sure, I knew Bella in high school and over the past five weeks I'd learned more, but there were still things I didn't know. Things I wanted to know.

I knew that she was an amazing person. I knew that she loved writing, that she was funny and kind. I knew that she could blush on the drop of a hat and I knew she was still a bit clumsy. I knew that because of her clumsiness she had broken her wrist while ice blocking. I knew about her friend Alice who she'd met in a bowling class and I knew all about her college experience.

What I didn't know was _why_ she wanted to become a writer. I didn't know if she had broken any more bones because she was unable to walk on a flat surface without tripping. And I didn't know who her other close friends were, besides Alice. Hell, I didn't even know if she had a boyfriend.

I made a conscience decision at that moment to find out. I'd continue talking to Bella and get to know more of the person she's become. I still didn't know how to approach the topic of the screenplay or book but I still felt that whatever _was_ said should be done in person. _So if she doesn't' bring it up, I won't. _I'd just focus on her. There was no doubt in my mind that by the time I saw her again I'd know how I felt. I'd know if there was the possibility of more. I'd know if that pull I felt towards her at Thanksgiving was more than a fleeting moment. And I'd be prepared for whatever she told me.

Having some sort of plan to follow seemed to give me that little push I needed. I grabbed my cell phone and quickly typed in a text. I would have called but I didn't want to interrupt time with her family. _At least that's what I'm telling myself._

_**I hope you're having a white Christmas. **_

_**-Bing**_

I had no idea if she'd even remember our Bing Crosby, Karen Carpenter discussion from high school, but I hoped she would. I pressed send and put my phone down. I waited for a few minutes for a response and didn't get one. I let out a breath of air and decided I might as well hop in the shower and get ready for dinner. I ignored and the little voice in the back of my head that dared to ask, _what if she doesn't reply?_

**BPOV**

"It's been three days Alice, _three_ days." I stood up from my bed and started pacing around my room, something I'd been doing on and off since speaking to Edward. My room had never seemed so small and by now I had the steps memorized. One, two, three, four, turn left at the end of my bed, one, two, three, turn again, one, two, three, four, five, spin around and repeat the steps all over again.

"First off, sit down. You're making me nervous."

I came to a halt. "How did you know I was—"

"Because you always pace when you're nervous," she stated obviously. "And you've probably almost gnawed your bottom lip off, so stop that too."

I released my bottom lip from between my teeth and exhaled, sitting down on my bed. "Why hasn't he called or texted me? It's been three days," I asked in a whisper.

"I'm not sure. But he's probably busy. You know how filming schedules can be."

"He's not filming all day long. He's got to have _some _free time."

I hesitated before asking the next question. The one that I'd asked myself over and over for the past 72 hours. "What if he knows and doesn't want to talk to me anymore? What if he's angry with me for writing it?"

"Bella he's not going to be angry," Alice assured calmly.

"You don't' know that." I paused. "And you never answered my first question."

She was silent for a minute and I closed my eyes, bracing myself for what I knew was coming.

"If he doesn't want to talk to you, then you'll have your answer. You've been waiting to find out what he'd say and how he'd feel for years. Whether his reaction is good or bad, at least you'll know. At least you'll be able to move on."

Hearing her actually say the words that I'd been thinking made my stomach twist. I hunched forward and dropped my head, taking a deep breath.

It was moments like this that I almost regretted running into Edward at Thanksgiving. I told myself that if I hadn't seen him again this wouldn't be so hard. Sure, there was still the possibility he'd read the book someday but I wouldn't be risking the new friendship we've created. Just as quickly as that thought came, it went. I'd never regret seeing him.

"Bella, it's going to be okay, you know that right?" Alice's voice was soft but still encouraging.

"Yeah, I know." I lied. I waited for her to call me out like she always did but someone started talking to her. She covered the receiver but I could hear Jaspers voice. When she came back on the line I knew she had to go.

"Hey, I'll talk to you later okay." I said, before she spoke. "Tell Jasper I said Merry Christmas."

"I will. And Bella, don't dwell on the "what if's" okay? Things have a way of working out, trust me."

"Sure, I'll try." We said our goodbyes and I snapped my phone shut before throwing myself on my bed, burying my face in my soft cotton pillow. Alice's heavy words echoed in my head. "Whether his reaction is good or bad, at least you'll know. At least you'll be able to move on." _Yeah right, move on. Like there is any possibility of that happening. _

I tried to get over Edward plenty of time in the past. I didn't even have contact with him for five years and it didn't stop my feelings. I wrote a book in a therapeutic attempt to get over him and that didn't work. I even dated other guys and tried having a loving relationship. It didn't matter who took a place in my heart, Edward always held a bigger piece and he didn't even know it. I couldn't help but wonder how long it would last. Would I always love him?

I rolled over and looked at the grey clouds scud across the sky through my window. Random rays of light filtered through as they passed by and I closed my eyes, thinking about the one time I tried to fully give my heart to someone else.

At the end of my junior year, after spending too much time behind my computer writing, I had finally accepted Alice's offer to set me up on a date. She'd never told me who it was with and when the day had come and I opened the door and found Jacob standing there I was shocked. But he was a friend and I knew that I couldn't say no to him. So I went. And surprisingly I had a great time. Our first date turned into a second and then a third and a fourth. Before long we were spending almost every day together.

Being with Jacob had been easy. He was funny and full of life and he made me smile. His happiness was contagious and my friends loved him. I loved him, just not enough. Not in the same way he did.

The moment that realization hit me was something I'd never forget. It'd been the end of October, a few weeks before the start of our senior year, and we'd just come home from dinner with Alice and Jasper. We had a routine. Every Friday night we'd have dinner with Alice and Jasper and then we'd part ways. Alice would spend the night at Jaspers place and Jacob would stay with me at our house.

"I'm going to stick the leftovers in the fridge. I'll meet you in the living room." I said, walking through the front door.

"What do you feel like watching?" Jacob yelled after me. "Do you want comedy, action or some fluffy chick flick?"

"Gee let me think." I closed the fridge door and continued talking as I walked into the living room. "If I choose chick flick, I'll be the lame ass girl who makes her boyfriend sit through two hours of sap." I stopped in the entry way and looked at his large form stretched out on my couch.

He feigned shock. "I'd never call you lame."

"Alright, maybe not lame. But you'd have _something_ to say." I walked toward him and sat on the arm rest by his feet. "I choose comedy."

"You're sure?" He looked at me with a wide grin, his white teeth brilliant against his dark russet skin.

"Yeah, besides, I'm in the mood to laugh."

Jacob swung his legs around and placed his feet on the floor in one swift motion and before I knew it he was right in front of me.

"Are you sure you're not in the mood for some…action?" He lifted his eyebrows and leaned in, placing a kiss on my neck.

I knew exactly where this conversation was going and where it, or should I say _we_, would end up.

He continued placing open mouth kisses along the long stretch of my neck as he spoke. "Action could be very…thrilling you know. I hear it's good for the heart."

"Mmm, I bet it is." I murmured, my head falling to the side. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and he pulled me forward, on top of him, as he fell back onto the couch.

He continued placing kisses on my neck as he spoke. "I think we should do action now and comedy later."

"No," I tried to shake my head. "If we do action first we'll end up falling asleep down here and I don't want Jasper getting another show. One time was enough for me."

He pulled his lips away from my neck and looked up at me. "He didn't really see anything, you know."

"And he could have just been saying that to avoid the whole awkward, _you're my friend and I've seen you naked_ thing."

Jake dropped his head back on the pillow in defeat. "Fine," he sighed.

I gave him a quick peck and hopped off his lap. I put the movie in and started to skip past the previews when I saw him. Edward. I instantly went numb, my fingers poised above the forward button and I didn't move. My heart started to race and my palms got sweaty and cold at the same time. If I thought seeing him on magazine covers was wonderful than seeing him moving and talking was all consuming and utterly spectacular. He smiled on screen and I found my lips following his motion before he suddenly disappeared. The DVD skipped ahead to the main menu.

I spun around and saw Jake holding the remote in his hand completely unaware of the moment I'd just been lost in. _Of course he wouldn't catch it. It's not like you ever told him. _I chastised myself again for never mentioning my high school, turned college crush and walked back to the couch. It was a conversation I avoided mainly because I had no clue how to bring it up.

"You know," he started, "when we're in our own place, hiding out won't be necessary."

I looked at him and must have looked as confused as I felt because he explained himself.

"I mean, when we have our own place we won't have to worry about Jasper or anyone else walking in on us." He grinned at me and I continued to look at him while I processed the words he'd just said. I blinked a few times and before I could stop myself the words came out.

"Our own place? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about an apartment for us to live in. Together."

I instantly felt a tightening of my chest. I wasn't ready to take that step. Or any huge, enormous, life altering step like that one. "Jake I…I don't know what…I mean…what are you--"

"I love you Bells. I've said it before and I'll keep saying it. And I'm not asking you to marry me right now, but I _am_ saying that I know that you're the one." He paused, and the silence in the room pressed down on me. "You don't have to say anything right now. I just wanted you to know."

Somewhere during his declaration I dropped my head. I kept my eyes closed as I listened to him talk and felt the tears prick behind my lids. _How could he know? How could he know that I'm the one?_ _How can he be sure when I have no clue?_

Eventually I lifted my head and met his dark eyes. They looked back at me with nothing but love and all I could do was hope that he saw something similar reflected back in my eyes. Something that I tried to feel, even though I knew deep down, it wasn't the same.

At that moment, sitting on the couch, I had realized that all the great months that we'd spent together; all the loving moments and touches couldn't elicit the same indescribable feelings that stirred deep within me when I watched the simple five second clip of Edward.

"Bella?" My mom's voice woke my out of my memory and I flipped over in my bed.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in, honey?" She must have taken my silence as a yes and opened the door.

"Are you hiding out?" she asked, leaning against the door jam.

"Not really."

She pushed away from the door and sat down on the edge of my bed. "He still hasn't called?"

I shook my head. "You know what the crazy thing is. I don't even know if I want him to. I'm just so afraid of what he'll say and the thought of actually facing it? Well it makes me sick." I pushed the palms of my hands into my eyes, trying to force the thought from my mind.

I felt her comforting hand rest on my leg. "You know Bella. No matter what--"

The sound of my phone beeping, signaling a received text, cut her off mid sentence. I dropped my hands from my eyes and froze.

"Are you going to get it?" My mom asked after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

Before I could say a word she reached across me, pinning me to the bed, and grabbed my phone off the nightstand. She flipped it open and looked at the screen. I had a slight moment of panic that in her non-technological ways, she would accidentally delete the message. I sat up quickly and caught the smirk on her face as she handed it over.

"Lunch will be ready in five minuets," she said as she stood and walked out of my room, closing the door behind her.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before flipping the phone open. There, in small black letters, was his name. The name I'd been both wanting and dreading to see for the past three days. I quickly snapped my phone shut and placed my phone on my bed in front of me.

I was split in two. The side that was excited to have any contact with him was eager to absorb any words he offered. The other, more rational side was terrified. This could be the moment where I find out he thinks I'm crazy and tells me that although it's been nice, it's best we don't talk anymore. The love sick side fought against this and told me that Edward would never say something like that.

I went back and forth, volleying the pro's and con's of each side. It must have taken five minutes because I heard my mom yelling downstairs that it was time to eat. I quickly stood up and ran from my room, thankful to have an excuse. _Nothing like avoiding. I'm pretty good at it. _

Two hours, a meal, and five glasses of lemonade later, I was still sitting at the kitchen table avoiding. My mother talked most of the time and I was thankful she didn't care that it was all one sided. My mind was still racing, and right now, the side that was desperate and curious to know what he said, was winning out. I drained the last of my lemonade and placed it on the counter. I watched the clear, smooth ice cubes settle beside each other in the frosted glass and noticed that my mom had stopped talking. I looked up only to find her staring back at me.

"You want to know. So stop avoiding it."

Her words of encouragement were all I needed to hear. I didn't stop to ask how she knew I hadn't read the text, it didn't matter. The side that didn't want to know what his text said was pushed aside and I raced out of the kitchen.

I sat on my bed trying to calm my rapid breathing and flipped my phone open. This time I didn't hesitate and I pushed the button.

_**I hope you're having a white Christmas. **_

_**-Bing**_

I couldn't suppress the laughter that bubbled up in my chest. I couldn't tell if it was out of relief or nerves or simply because I couldn't believe he actually remembered our conversation from so many years ago. I did, but that's because I remembered everything. Like always the conversations started on the topic of the weather but I didn't care. Because all thought of the dreaded screenplay conversation was forgotten and I texted him back.

_**It is white, perfect weather for sledding. How about u?**_

_**-Karen**_

Thankfully he didn't take two hours to respond like I had.

_**It didn't snow today but the ground is still covered. Does that count?**_

_**p.s. u**__** don't sled.**_

_I don't sled? What is he talking about? I've gone sledding before. _With furrowed brows, I quickly typed back.

_**Yes, it counts. And I do sled, just not often.**_

_**Define often. And if I remember correctly you broke a bone sledding. **_

I smiled reading his response. He wasn't completely right, but he remembered.

_**I broke my wrist ice blocking, not sledding. **_

_**Does that happen often?**_

_**Does what happen often? Ice blocking?**_

_**Breaking bones. How many other times have you broken bones? Somehow I think the number is high. **_

I could have been offended by his comment but I wasn't. He was, after all, right. I spent the next few minutes actually trying to remember every broken bone and injury I'd had. I typed it all out and as soon as I looked at the screen I laughed. _He's never going to believe this._ Smiling, I pressed send.

Sure enough his response was shock and disbelief. I assured him that it was indeed correct and that it was quite possible that some fractures were left off the list.

His simple questions about broken bones lead to more questions and, before I knew it, I was telling him about the first time I rode a bike and ended up laying in the gutter with a broken ankle. I could sense the humor in his replies and I closed my eyes, imagining the way his laugh would sound. A few times I was tempted to stop texting and just call him but I always stopped myself. I felt comfortable communicating like this right now and it seemed he did too. Even though a small part of me ached to really know how he felt I pushed aside that feeling for the time being. If he wasn't going to bring the screenplay up, then I wasn't going to either. I told myself that we'd see each other again someday and that talking to him face to face might be easier. _Yeah right, like that's not the biggest lie ever. But like I said, I'm good at avoiding. _

As it turned out I was even better at avoiding than I thought. Three weeks went by and Edward and I still hadn't talked about the screenplay. After the first week of back and forth texting we exchanged email addresses. It made things easier with the time change and his crazy schedule. It also made it easier for me to answer his random questions. I always felt like I knew him pretty well and him me, but with every email I learned more about him. Little things like his favorite ice cream and favorite season. I never thought those stupid mass forward questions could be interesting. That is until I read the ones filled out by Edward. I never cared what someone was _wearing right now_, or who the _last person they talked to_ was, until I read his.

Of course it gave me more time to pour over every last word he wrote and every question he asked, in attempt to see if there was some hidden meaning. I was especially obsessive whenever he talked about his work. Apparently he was going to be done shooting in Prague by the end of the month. They had some more scenes to film, but it was all being done in studio.

I didn't ask too many questions about his job, I mainly let him do the talking in that area. Since he hadn't mentioned the screenplay yet, I assumed he didn't accept the role. All I could do was wait. I told myself I could do that. I could wait and it wasn't a big deal. The only problem was it was killing me, eating away at me one day at a time. I was good at avoiding but three weeks seemed to be my breaking point.

"Three weeks Alice, It's been three weeks and he still hasn't said anything." I looked at her reflection in the mirror. She raked her eyes over my bridesmaid dress and I wondered if she even heard me. "Alice," I said, trying to get her attention. Her wedding was only two months away and she was lost in her own wedding planning world.

"Spin." She motioned with her finger for me to turn around, completely ignoring me. I held my arms away from my side and spun around, trying not to fall of the platform I stood on. I almost asked if she'd heard me when she spoke up. "Maybe he's waiting for the right moment." She shrugged. "And you could always ask him you know?"

"He's had plenty of moments," I said, dropping my arms, ignoring the other half of her comment. There is no way I'm asking looked at my dropped arms and back at me as if asking why I'd put them down. I smiled apologetically and returned to my previous position.

I let my head fall back and I stared up at the drop-tile ceiling, counting the little flecks of grey in attempt to occupy my mind. I ignored Alice and the seamstress as they pinched at the loose fabric at my waist and talked about alterations that had to be made. The grey dots soon took on shapes and just as I found a bunny my phone started ringing. Not wanting me to move an inch, Alice grabbed my phone from my purse and placed it next to my ear.

"Hello?" I answered, trying to hold the phone secure. The slippery fabric of the dress made it nearly impossible.

"Bella, its Charlotte."

"Hey, how's it going? I was wondering when I'd hear from you." I teased. Charlotte always got back to me within a few hours but it had been two days. She'd recently had her first baby and was out of commission.

"Ha-ha. If I didn't have a child attached to me 24-7. I'd have called you earlier. Either way I didn't know the news until a few minutes ago, so I couldn't really call you back anyway."

"News?" As soon as the words were out of my mouth I froze. _The movie._ I held my breath and let my eyes roll shut.

"About the cast. You're not going to believe who they got to play Andrew."

"I have an idea," I mumbled, both praying it was him and pleading that it wasn't. There was a pause on the line and I knew she was doing it for dramatic purposes. _Oh hell, just say it. _

"Edward Cullen." She finally said, in a tone of awe. "They got _the_ Edward Cullen. Can you believe it? Bella I knew this was going to be big but to have his name attached to it? This is amazing.

By now my head was spinning and I felt like I might collapse. I sucked in a deep breath as my knees buckled underneath me and I sank to the ground, ignoring the ripping sound of fabric as I went. I was vaguely aware of Alice's yelling something about the dress but I couldn't be sure. I felt like I was trapped in a bubble that was not only getting smaller but losing oxygen as well. I could however hear Charlotte.

"They want you to go to LA at the end of the month, something about meeting with the director. Apparently he wants your opinion and feedback during the story board process. I told them I'd check with you first, but that I was sure you'd be interested. Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky and run into Edward Cullen while you're there."

"Yeah," I said weakly, "maybe I will."

I didn't move an inch. I sat with my phone pressed firmly against my ear, not hearing another word Charlotte said. All I could think about was Edward and the possibility of seeing him. The twisting feeling in the pit of my stomach told me that I would. There was no doubt in my mind that he'd be there. And then, face to face, we'd finally talk.

* * *

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter! **

**If you have any questions, want to find out random bits of info OR just want to talk about Yummy Edward/Rob and cranberries come play on the twilighted thread.  
Links on my profile.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author Note:** Yes I know, it's been forever. Thank you for sticking with me and for all the supportive Pm's and reviews. You guys rock! And umm I'm lucky I actually got this chapter posted today, what with all those hot pics of Rob with his shirt off it was almost impossible to look away. *sigh*

Thanks to my amazing beta Shwriteme who always works her magic and makes everything better. Go read her story, its fabulous. Link is on my profile.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own.

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**BPOV**

"Bella, you better have a damn good reason for collapsing to the floor and ripping that dress because that fabric was specially ordered from India."

It took a few seconds for me to realize that Alice was talking to me. My mind was still reeling from the information that I'd just heard. I looked up at her, dazed, trying to get my brain to work. Her brows knitted together and I knew something was wrong. I followed her line of vision down to the front of my dress. The beautiful fabric was ripped apart along the seam, leaving a four inch slice of skin on my thigh exposed.

"Oh my God, Alice! I'm so sorry." I quickly scrambled to my feet which resulted in another ripping sound. We both looked down and the hole was now six inches instead of the previous four.

"Don't move! Just stand still."

I froze and waited for Alice to step behind me and unzip the dress. Once she had it down I pulled my arms out and slipped the dress off. Alice flipped the dress inside out and inspected the damage.

"It's right along the seam so Louise should be able to fix it. Thank goodness." She breathed a sigh of relief and I joined her.

"I really am sorry. I just wasn't paying attention."

"I take it Charlotte had some interesting news for you?" Alice asked, dropping the dress on a nearby stool.

"Interesting? I guess you could call it interesting."

Just thinking about it made my head feel light and gave me a serious case of vertigo. So I guess I could say it was more than interesting. I sat down on the platform in my underwear and dropped my head between my knees, hoping it would stop the spinning.

"I'm going to take a stab here and guess that it has something to do with Edward being cast in the movie."

All I could do was groan in response. It sounded even more overwhelming hearing it a second time.

"You knew it was an option Bella. You _knew_ he had the script."

"I know. I was just hoping that he'd be too busy to accept it. I mean, he's a huge movie star and I was banking on some big blockbuster motion picture snatching him up."

Only half of my confession was true and I'm pretty sure Alice could tell. As much as I dreaded Edward playing himself in the movie, part of me also wanted it. It was something that would tie us together. Granted it was on a small level but it was something. Am I crazy in love or what?

"Bella I think you are underestimating this movie. It's going to be huge. This _is _the big blockbuster motion picture that snatched him up."

Charlotte had said the same thing during our conversation but I still was having a hard time grasping the concept. After all this time I still had days were I couldn't believe how popular my book was. And the fact that they were making it into a film was surreal.

"Did Charlotte mention the rest of the cast?" Alice asked handing me my jeans.

I stood up and slipped them on. "Yep."

"And?" She looked at me with wide eyes.

Her excitement was contagious and I couldn't help but smile. Edward or no Edward this movie was a big deal and I was excited about it.

"Come on Bella you're killing me here," Alice pleaded.

"Kate will be played by Jane Montgomery."

"Shut up, are you serious?" Alice squeaked. "She's an amazing actress, she'll be perfect. And she's beautiful, they cast you perfectly," she smiled. "What about Tanya, I mean Tammy." Alice was one of the few people who knew the real names of the characters in my book. She'd heard far too many stories about them over the years.

"She's being played by the most beautiful person in the world."

Alice placed her hand to her throat and held her breath in anticipation.

I waited for a beat then sighed, pulling my shirt over my head. "Rosalie Hale," I finally said, flopping down in the chair next to Alice.

Alice froze, eyes wide. She was silent next to me for what seemed like an eternity. In Alice's world two minutes of silence was somewhat rare. She eventually spoke up. "Wow," was all she said.

I wished I could say I didn't know why she was reacting the way she was but I couldn't. I knew what she was thinking. We were both up to date in the celebrity gossip column (one of the downsides of being in love with an actor.) Rosalie Hale was not just the typical beautiful actress. She was drop dead gorgeous. People went out of their way to avoid her on the red carpet so they wouldn't have to be compared to her. Her body matched her face and there wasn't a man in the world that didn't want her.

Usually, all of this wouldn't matter. And I was excited that they found such a perfect person to play the role of Tammy/Tanya. Unfortunately for me, Rosalie Hale had a history of hooking up with her co-stars. Every movie she'd been in resulted in a love affair that was splattered in headlines all over the tabloids. She was even called a home-wrecker in one celebrity magazine and it resulted in a nasty law suit. Ironically, the next month's issue had her perfect face gracing the cover and the headline said something about the damages of the public eye on her career.

Edward had told me on more than one occasion how the public eye misconstrued everything. They made things look the way they wanted them too. I believed that whole-heartily. But I also believed the facts. And the facts were this: Rosalie Hale always ended up with her co-stars.

Suddenly, one of my worse fears flashed behind my eyes. Edward standing with his arms wrapped around Rosalie, pictures of them on set, sitting together and sharing a drink. I could vividly imagine them out and about around town, going to restaurants and walking the red carpet together. They'd looked perfect. Two perfect people that were made to fit together.

The nausea rolled through me and I dropped my head between my knees for the second time. Both Alice and I sat in silence for a few minutes. No doubt she was thinking the same thing I was. She must have sensed the panic rolling off me and placed a calming hand on my shoulder.

"He's not the typical Hollywood actor, Bella. And he doesn't have a history of dating his co-stars."

"Yes, but none of his co-stars have been Rosalie Hale."

"You know what this means then don't you?"

I looked over at Alice and she had a smile on her face. "No, what does it mean?"

"It means we get to go shopping."

I rolled my eyes and dropped my head into my hands. I had no idea how Alice thought shopping would solve this problem, then again I was talking about Alice. For her, shopping solved most every problem.

"Hear me out before you say no," she said quickly, obviously knowing where my train of thought was going. "You're going to go out to LA and you're most likely going to see Edward there right?"

I was pretty sure it was a rhetorical question but I nodded anyway.

"I'm going to make sure that you look amazing. Edward won't be able to take his eyes off you and he won't pay any attention to that tall, lanky, constipated Hale girl."

I smiled weakly. Alice always knew how to boost a girl's confidence even when I wasn't sure her idea would work. I wasn't ugly but I was no Rosalie Hale.

"Alice," I started.

"You guys have a history," she said, cutting me off. "That gives you a huge advantage."

I sat for a minute thinking. She was right, we did have history. And we were in touch with each other a lot lately. That had to give me some advantage right?

"And you know, I think you may have another advantage you're not thinking about," Alice added.

"Another advantage, what would that be?"

"I read in last months People that Edward prefers brunettes."

I cracked a genuine smile and Alice burst into laughter. I wasn't far behind her.

-------

"Let me get this straight. They cast Edward Cullen, Jane Montgomery, and Rosalie Hale in your movie?" Jasper asked. He was standing in front of the stove stirring a red sauce and it smelled delicious.

"Well, it's not actually my movie, but yes, they did." I walked over and stood beside him watching him add some fresh cut basil to the pan. After years of being together with Alice he finally realized that if he wanted a home-cooked meal, it wasn't going to be made by her hands. Setting a table she could do, but cooking? That was a lost cause.

"Stop being so modest Bella. It may not be your movie but it wouldn't exist if it wasn't for you. You might as well be calling it yours." Alice sat down at the breakfast bar and grabbed a carrot from the salad bowl in front of her.

"I don't even care whose movie it is. The fact that they landed those three starts is huge. Jane got an Oscar nomination last year for that foreign film she did and Rosalie is…"

He trailed off not even finishing his statement. Not that he had too. Both Alice and I knew what he was thinking.

"Rosalie is hot," Alice finished.

I waited for Jasper to show some kind of shock but he never did. "Actually I was going to say she's a man eater. But hot works." He shrugged, turning his attention back to the stove. "Do you think you'll get to meet the cast while you're out in LA?"

"I'm not entirely sure. Charlotte said I might, but nothing has been arranged yet. I'm just scheduled to meet with the director and go over the story boards. He wants to get my feedback and see if I like the direction they plan on taking it. It's always hard to get the right vision and he knows how people feel about my book."

Jasper tossed some salt into a pot and emptied a box of pasta in. "That's a smart move for the director. Your fans can get a little…passionate when it comes to things being right."

Alice munched on her carrot and said something about agreeing with Jasper. They were both right. I did have a pretty passionate fan base.

"When do they want to meet with you?"

"Charlotte said the end of the month, so that gives me a little over a week. I still have to get my flight arranged."

Jasper stopped stirring and looked deep in thought. "I think Jake said something about being in LA around then."

I smiled as soon as I heard Jasper mention Jacob. By some sort of miracle Jake and I survived the awkward post break up relationship that most people deal with and went right back to being friends. We didn't talk all the time but we were pretty regular e-mailers.

"Really, I thought he was in New York until the wedding?"

"He thought he was, but last time I talked to him he mentioned something about visiting one of his big accounts."

Alice perked up in her seat at the mention of the wedding. "He's going to make it to our wedding, right? So help me if he backs out--"

"Of course he will be there," Jasper assured in his calming voice. "He's the best man and I don't think he's planning on staying in LA for two months. Besides, your wedding is too big a deal for him to miss out on." His answer appeased Alice and she relaxed into her chair. Jasper turned to me and winked; he always knew the right thing to say. "You should give him a call."

"Definitely, I could use a friendly face while I'm there." I also had a feeling I'd need a friend to help calm my nerves. Jacob was the perfect person for that. If there was one person who could make me laugh and forget about my worries it was him.

"Good," Jasper leaned over and whispered in my ear, "make sure you tell him that if he even thinks about doing something to miss the wedding, Alice will kill him."

I bit my lip to keep from laughing and peeked over at Alice. She was flipping through her wedding notebook, her face scrunched up and serious like she was about to perform brain surgery.

"Yeah," I nodded, "I'll make sure and tell him."

"Sounds good. Now let's eat."

--------

I left Jasper and Alice's place a few hours later and was still stuffed from dinner. For the most part, we didn't talk about the movie again, but that didn't stop me from thinking about it.

I drove home in a daze, half aware of the cars around me on the road. I couldn't help but wonder if Edward would mention the movie now that things were set in stone. Surely he had to know that I would be told who was cast. I wondered what it would be like to see him in person. We'd spent the past month getting to know each other all over again. Would that make him act different? Or would things be the same as they were the last time we were together?

I rolled my eyes at myself for getting so worked up over _possibilities._ After all, I didn't even know if I would see him. Just because I was going to meet with the directors didn't mean I'd run into him. I could go to LA, meet with the director and never see Edward. It would be easier than having to deal with an awkward discussion. As soon as that thought came to mind the little voice in my head reminded me that I'd once made a promise to him, a promise that I'd call if I was ever in LA.

For some reason my self-preservation kicked in and by the time I made it home I'd thought up a million excuses that I could give Edward for not calling him. I was almost 100% sure that he'd believe most of them. Giving an excuse would be a lot easier than being told that my feelings were not reciprocated. The only problem was that I knew every excuse I conjured up was pointless. When it came right down to it, I wouldn't be able to ignore him. I never could.

I walked into my house and tossed my keys on the small mahogany table by the door. Slipping off my flats I walked through my living room to my kitchen.

My house was one of my favorite places to be. It was warm and inviting and all mine. After my book became a New York Times best seller I decided it was time to stop renting. Alice and I spent three months searching for the ideal house. The entire process was a bit overwhelming but the end result was worth it.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handful of Swedish fish. I may be full but there is always room for Swedish fish. Following my nightly routine I went into the living room and switched on the TV. I knew that the chances of seeing Edward on one of the entertainment celebrity shows were slim to none, because he was still filming out of the county, but I wanted to make sure. Old habits die hard.

I flipped back and forth between a few different channels catching bits and pieces of each. After the allotted half hour was up, I grabbed my lap top from my coffee table and decided to check my email. I waited as the system booted and felt the butterflies start to flutter in my belly.

Ever since Edward and I started emailing back and forth, checking my email had become quite the nerve-wracking process. I'd wait with baited breath and sweaty palms as the icons would load and my heart would beat rapidly against my chest as I typed in my password. Sometimes I'd get lucky and there would be a message waiting for me and other times there would be nothing. Tonight, however, I was lucky.

I spotted his name instantly and just like every other time my heart pounded and increased rhythm in my ears. I opened the email and noticed it wasn't very long, just a short paragraph. I read through it at least four times before it registered completely.

_I read the screenplay and I think it's great. I wanted it to be official before I told you and now it is. I've accepted the role of Andrew. I guess this means we may see each other soon after all. Let me know when you get to LA. I want to get together and talk. _

He went on to say that his schedule was going to be crazy for the next week and that he may not be able to email often. Apparently they had to re-shoot a few scenes and didn't have much time left before they head back to the states.

Although I was disappointed about not having much correspondence with him, it was easily overlooked because of his earlier comment about getting together while in LA. With my heart still beating franticly, I grabbed my phone from the counter and made the dreaded call.

It rang only two times before she answered.

"Alice?" My voice was strained and I forced myself to continue talking, knowing that if I hesitated I'd never go through with it.

"Yeah, what's up?"

I took a deep breath. "I need to go shopping."

---------

"You have everything, right--the four outfits _and _the shoes?" Alice was leaning over Jasper's shoulder, watching him load my suitcase into the trunk.

Jasper looked up at me with a grin before turning to face Alice. "I'm sure she didn't forget anything. This isn't the first time she's traveled."

"I know that." She swatted at his chest. "But this isn't just some random trip or book tour."

My chest tightened and I felt the panic creep in. You'd think that having nine days to prepare myself would be enough but clearly it wasn't. It was even harder to stay calm and collected when Alice was constantly reminding me about seeing Edward. Like it wasn't already weighing heavily on my mind?

Calling her was one of the smarted and stupidest things I've ever done. Smart because she had the best taste and really did help me pick out some fabulous clothes, and stupid because all nine days were spent shopping and getting random beauty treatments. In other words it gave me plenty of down time to obsess over all the "what ifs" that were floating through my mind.

"Yes, Alice, I have everything," I assured her. "I'll call you later."

"You better. I want all the details, every last one."

I shook my head and couldn't hide the little eye roll. One of her perfect brows arched as she took in my reaction. "All right, I promise. I'll give you all the little details."

"Good," she chirped, happily. "Text me when you land. I want to know you got there safe."

I nodded to appease her and gave them both a quick hug before I climbed into my car. Jasper leaned forward, resting his forearms in the window. "Say hi to Jake for me."

"I will." I smiled at my two friends, who had become my family away from home, and pulled out of the driveway, heading for the airport.

-----------

I sat in the hard plastic seats of the terminal trying to focus on anything but the waves of anxiety that were crashing upon me. I focused on the distraction of people walking by, some holding hands others alone, hurrying to make it to their gate in time. A family of four trudged past with arms full of Disney memorabilia. The parents looked exhausted and the kids were still under the magical trance, smiling with wide eyes while clinging to their princess dolls and pirate swords.

I watched them until they faded out of sight and then tried to focus on something else, anything else. It seemed that no matter where my thoughts drifted, there was something that brought them back to Edward. Whether it was because I'd see someone with reddish brown hair or simply noticed a couple holding hands. I couldn't get him out of my mind.

The excitement bubbling inside me had a constant underlying feeling of panic that only grew when I thought about the conversation we were most likely to have. Still, I continued to try to push that feeling aside and focus on the excitement of seeing Edward, of being close to him and seeing his face again.

The feelings of anticipation were familiar. I'd felt this way once before. I sat back in my seat and dropped my eyes to the floor. Focusing on the blue and red flecks on the industrial grey carpet, I felt a smile tug at the corner of my mouth as I thought back to that day.

I had spent the summer after my freshman year in Arizona with my Grandma Marie. Most high school kids may not think spending a summer with a grandma would be fun but with Gran things were always interesting. She was a lot like my mother but different in a way. She wasn't quite so free spirited and flighty, yet she had a carefree nature about her that had only grown more comforting in her older age. I could sit for hours and just listen to her talk.

My summer had been relaxing and small part of me didn't want to leave. The larger part was aching to get home, back to the state of constant rain and dreary skies, something that I never thought I'd actually say. But things had changed. Unlike last summer I was actually looking forward to starting another school year. Okay so that was a lie. I was looking forward to seeing Edward. I thought about him all summer long and knew that the feelings of friendship I'd once had, had changed. I liked him, a lot.

The uncharacteristic Forks sun poured in from behind my curtains, filling my room with warm light. I immediately sat up in bed, excitement and energy pulsing through my body. I could feel the smile on my face as I grabbed my towel and dashed down the hall to get ready.

I went about my normal morning routine but barely paid attention. I was too busy thinking about Edward and what it would be like to see him again after three months.

"Someone's excited for their first day back," my mom said, stirring her cup of freshly brewed coffee.

I shrugged and tried to act casual, shoving another scoop of frosted flakes in my mouth. The last thing I wanted was to get into a discussion about boys with my mother. I finished my cereal in record time and washed it all down with a gulp of orange juice. Running back up the stairs I grabbed my practically empty book bag and took one last look in the mirror.

My hair was plain but shiny and I had a little color from my summer spent in the sun. I probably should have spent a little more time picking out a special outfit for the first day back, but I was never good at that sort of thing. Basic jeans and a tee shirt would have to do. _I guess this is as good as it's going to get._ I took a deep breath and headed back downstairs.

"Ready?" My mom looked up from the paper and smiled. She looked around the kitchen for a second in search of something but I was already two steps ahead of her. I picked up the keys up and tossed them to her.

"What would I do without you?"

"Probably call Dad and ask where they were."

She laughed and rolled her eyes at my comment but didn't say anything. She knew I was right. For two people that are so different from each other, they were a perfect match. It was hard to believe, but they have an odd way of balancing each other out.

I played with the zipper on my bag the entire drive to school while trying not to bite a hole through my bottom lip. The closer we got the more my stomach fluttered. I internally laughed at myself. I was more nervous now than I was on my first day last year. Of course last year I didn't have a friend who I hadn't seen in a few months, a friend who I'd spent the summer thinking about as more than a friend.

We stopped at the front of the building and I somehow made it out of the car and inside the school. I faintly heard my mom say something about having a great first day but I couldn't be sure.

Taking a deep breath I walked through the hall and kept my head tilted down slightly but my eyes were searching for _him_. A lot of the faces looked familiar but a few were new. I felt a wave of relief wash over me when I realized I wasn't the new girl this time around. I wouldn't be met with curious eyes around every corner.

I pulled my folded schedule out of my pocket and took a quick glance at it, double checking my first period class. Just as I rounded the corner into the next hallway I felt someone walk up behind me.

"It's easier when you're not the new kid anymore huh?"

The sound of his voice rang through my ears and I felt my body grow warm. My heart felt like it was going to burst through my chest. I stopped mid step and turned around coming face to face with collar bone. _What the…_

I opened my mouth to apologize to the stranger when he started laughing. I knew that laugh but it didn't match the person that stood in front of me.

I took a step back and for the first time ever, had to lift my head _up_ to see Edward.

My mouth opened and closed a few times, my brain clearly not functioning well enough to relay my thoughts in the form of words. I continued to stare and realized a half a beat too late that Edward had started talking. I blinked and quickly looked down pretending to be enthralled by my chucks. I tried to pay attention to what he was saying but I still couldn't wrap my mind around the way he looked. _Is it even possible for a guy to grow that fast? _

"Who do you have this year?"

His question brought me out of my stupor and I handed him my class schedule. I took advantage of his moment of distraction and looked him over, head to toe.

His hair still looked the same, disheveled and messy, like he just rolled out of bed. His face was still perfect but the corner of his jaw was a bit more defined. He was wearing a simple dark grey tee shirt and jeans, but they looked different somehow. He was still skinny but his shoulders were a little broader and his shirt fit a little more snug across his back. He was the same, yet he was completely different.

"You look different," I blurted out, not even thinking.

Edward took his eyes away from my schedule and looked down at me smiling. "Just taller," he shrugged. The look on his face and casual gesture was the same as it always was and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Hey we're in the same gym class this year!" he practically shouted.

"Great," I moaned, "Look I'm just going to warn you now; you don't want to be my partner for anything. I have two left feet and I couldn't make a basket if I stood underneath it."

"Come on, you can't be that bad."

"Trust me, Edward, I am."

"Alright then, we have our work cut out for us."

I narrowed my eyes. "Us?"

The corner of his mouth pulled up into a crooked grin. "Come on, I'll walk with you to first period."

I shook my head, choosing to ignore his comment and followed after him.

"So how was Phoenix? He asked, "Was it hard coming home?"

I shrugged, "Not really." He looked at me with raised eyebrows, clearly not buying it. "Okay, so maybe I'll miss the heat."

He grinned at me again and my heart skipped. I dropped my head to hide the blush of my cheeks. There was something about the way he looked that made my body feel warmer than normal. I took a shallow breath and willed the fog in my brain to dissipate. "What about you," I swallowed, "Did you have a good summer?"

"Yeah, it was great," his face lit up as he started telling me about everything he'd done over the past few months. Apparently he and Emmett found a way to rig their lawnmowers so they could race each other at high speeds.

I realized then that he may have looked a little different, but he was still the same Edward. The same carefree, smart, funny friend I'd made the year before. The same person who had done all the nasty stuff for our frog dissection last year because he knew it grossed me out. And the same person who I'd spent the summer realizing I'd fallen in love with.

I remember smiling to myself as we walked, side by side down the hall, imaging the possibilities of a new school year with Edward. I had felt the first flicker of hope that maybe; just maybe, things would slowly start to change between us, and that he would grow to see me as more than just his friend.

"Ladies and gentlemen we will begin boarding in the next fifteen minuets. If any of you have not received your boarding pass, please come to the front desk."

A bubbly female voice broke me from my memories and I sat up in my chair. I took a look around and realized I'd been so wrapped up in my thoughts I hadn't noticed the chairs filling up around me.

Pulling my phone out of my bag I sent a quick text to Alice and told her I'd be taking off soon. I double checked my inbox just to make sure Edward hadn't sent me anything. I hadn't heard from him since the email nine days ago and even though I knew he was busy I couldn't help but feel disappointment every time I checked my messages to find nothing from him.

_Soon Bella, soon you'll not only hear from him, you'll be talking to him. _I took a deep, breath, pushing down the panic and scrolled through my numbers to find Jake's. I needed a distraction, a _calming_ distraction.

"Bells?" he answered after the first ring. "Are you already here? I thought your flight landed at twelve?"

"No, no it does," I assured him. "I was just calling to tell you the flight number."

His throaty laugh sounded relieved and I immediately felt like smiling. I gave him my flight information and gave him another out for picking me up at the airport.

"You know I don't need you to do this. I can get a rental car."

"I know you can. But I want to do it. Besides, it'll be fun. We haven't seen each other in a long time."

As much as I wanted to fight him on the subject, I knew it was pointless. He'd made me promise the first time we spoke that he could pick my up at the airport. Plus, he also said something about the crazy drivers in LA. I figured that between my nerves of seeing Edward, meeting the director and not knowing my way around the last thing I wanted to deal with was crazy drivers in a strange city.

"Alright, fine," I sighed. "Do you want me to call you when I land?"

"Sure, did you check a bag?"

I rolled my eyes. "Alice helped me pack."

"That answers _that_ question. Should I be renting a truck?"

"Ha-ha," I said dryly. "She doesn't have _that_ much say in my wardrobe." My retort was meant with silence. "Okay so maybe she does have a lot of say," I conceded, "but there was no way I was bringing two bags for a trip that's lasting less than two days."

There was muffled sound on his end but I could definitely hear laughter.

"Jacob Black," I warned.

There was another round of laughter before he said anything. "I'm sorry Bells. I'm just imagining that discussion. No doubt Alice tried selling you on the 'you need to pack two bags incase one of your bags gets lost, that way you'll have a back up' idea."

My jaw dropped and I did a half sigh, half guffaw. It shouldn't shock me that Jacob knew Alice so well, but it did. Especially since that was the exact discussion Alice and I had this morning.

I shook my head in disbelief. "It's scary how right you are."

"I know," he paused and I heard someone talking in the background. "Hey look, I've got to head into a meeting. I'll see you in two hours okay?"

"Sure, sure,"

I hung up the phone with a smile on my face, feeling calm and excited to get to LA.

---------

I stepped off the plane and followed the flow of people until I spotted the baggage claim sign. _I still can't believe I let Alice talk me into checking a bag for practically a day trip._

I made my way over to the black revolving belt and waited for the mayhem to begin. I've come to the conclusion that waiting for luggage is a survival of the fittest. If you're not quick to respond and hold your ground you get shoved to the back and have to wait another five minutes before your bag makes an appearance.

Luckily I have the experience accrued from plenty of travel. I stepped to the front and heaved my bag off the belt. I had just set it down beside me when I felt a warm set of hands grip over mine. I looked up and was met with a brilliant white smile.

"Jake," I grinned, throwing my arms around his neck.

"Hey Bells," he hugged me back. I closed my eyes and immediately felt like I'd traveled back in time. His smells, the way his body felt, all of it was just as I remembered. I ran my hand along the nape of his neck to touch his hair but all I felt was skin.

With a small gasp I leaned back and looked at him with wide eyes. I hadn't noticed in the two seconds that I'd seen him that his hair was cut short.

"You cut your hair!" I gaped.

His hand instinctively went to his head where he brushed his fingers through his short crop. "Yeah, I did it a while ago. Apparently advising companies on how to spend their millions requires me to look the part. Whatever that means." He rolled his eyes. "You don't like it?" he asked.

"No, no, I do. It's just different. It's very…" I looked him up and down, taking in his large sculpted body and tailored suit, trying to pin point the word I was looking for to describe him. "GQ, its very GQ. Alice will love it."

"Good. Can you believe I actually thought about how she'd react when I cut it? Last thing I wanted to do was ruin her wedding by making drastic changes to my appearance."

I dropped my head back and laughed. "I think you're safe. Although, I'd be careful not to gain or lose any amount of weight over the next few months."

"Sure, sure, I'll make a mental note on that." He picked up my bag and motioned his head towards the door. "Ready to get going?"

I nodded, adjusted my bag on my shoulder and headed out into the warm LA sun.

Jake and I talked as he wove in and out of traffic. He filled me in on his time here in LA and his plans to possibly keep a small office here for when he's in town. I sat back and watched him with a smile on my face. For someone who was so laid back in college and never quite sure what he wanted to do after he graduated, he turned out more than okay. He was successful, smart and funny and I was so glad to have him as my friend.

"So tell me about the movie." He asked, after a lull in conversation.

"There's not too much to tell. I mean, you already know about the rights being sold. They finished the screenplay around the holidays, got a director lined up and finally got the cast arranged. That's why I'm here."

"To meet the cast?"

My heart fluttered at the thought. "No, this is just a meeting with the creative directors and what not." I waved my hand around casually. "They want to get some of my feedback for what they have planned so far."

"That's pretty exciting Bells. Stop acting so casual about it. I can't believe you're not excited."

"I am excited. I'm just a little nervous. I think it's over powering every other emotion." A little nervous, okay so that was a bit of an understatement.

"That's expected. Everything will be fine though, you'll see." Jake took his eyes off the road for a brief moment and smiled at me. I instantly felt relief and smiled back, thankful that he was here.

"Thanks for taking me by the way. I hope I didn't mess up your schedule."

"Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss it. What time do you need to be there anyway?"

"Not until four."

"Good, we have time to eat then. There's a restaurant down the street from the building your meeting at."

As if my body heard what he said, my stomach responded with a growl. "Sounds great." I laughed. "I'm starving."

Realizing that I hadn't contacted Alice yet, to let her know I arrived, I pulled out my phone and turned it on. My screen immediately lit up and said I had a text waiting. I flipped it open and stopped breathing when I saw his name. Edward. I swallowed and pressed the button.

_**Are you here? Call me when you get a chance. **_

Nervous or not I couldn't hold back the smile that spread across my face or the warmth I felt growing in my chest. It was only ten words. Ten simple words but they were the first ones I'd had in over a week from him. And he wanted me to call him. It was enough to send my head spinning.

"Must be someone good," Jakes voice brought me back to reality.

"Oh, uhh…no, it's just a friend." I mumbled, hoping he wouldn't notice the color spreading to my cheeks.

"Sure, sure," he nodded. "I'm pretty sure that I'm a friend, same with Alice and Jasper. And maybe I haven't seen you in a while but I think I'm safe to say that you never light up, like you just did, when you get a text from one of us."

"How do you know?"

"Bells, I know." There was a moment of silence and I debated telling him. Turns out I didn't have to debate too long because he gave up. "You don't have to tell me. I'll probably find out someday soon anyway."

I turned to glare at him and tried to look annoyed but it must have come across as playful because all Jake did was laugh and nudge my arm.

Twenty minutes later we pulled over on the side of the road and parked. The streets were busy and I slipped out of the car, keeping myself close as I walked around to meet Jake.

"So where is this restaurant?"

"A few blocks down."

He reached out and took my hand, something that had become a habit after being together, and started walking. We stopped at a few stores, taking our time to look in the windows.

I attempted to keep my mind focused but I couldn't. I was thinking about Edward and his text. I ran though at least a hundred different conversations we could have in my head, playing it out word of word so I'd be prepared. I knew I should call him soon but part of me wanted to wait until after the meeting. That way one big thing would be over and done with first. Besides, lunch would give me extra time to think.

After a few blocks Jake came to a stop in front of a little bistro.

"I'll go put our name down. You want to sit outside?"

"Sure, that sounds perfect."

A few seconds later Jake was back outside with a lady following behind him. She sat us at a table, under the protective shade of a large umbrella. Large baskets, overflowing with white and pink blossoms lined the perimeter of the patio and filled the air with their sweet fragrance. I sat back and took in my surroundings while the sounds of the city played like a soundtrack in the background.

We ordered our meal and talked while we ate. The more time I spent with Jake the more time seemed to slip away. We talked about college like it was yesterday and laughed while we shared stories. The conversation easily shifted into more recent events and he asked more about my writing.

"Are you working on any novels right now?" He took a big bite of his burger and watched me with interest.

"You know me; I'm always working on something."

"Any of them close to staring the editing process?"

_Ugh, here we go. _I let out a defeated sigh and dropped my shoulders. This was the same question Charlotte had been asking me for the past two months and the answer was just as frustrating this time around.

"No, not really," I said with a groan. Jake lifted his eyebrows, a sign that he wanted me to continue.

"I'm always writing something but I just haven't been feeling super inspired lately. It's like I can't focus on one thing in particular." I ran my fingers down the outside of my glass, collecting the condensation on the pads of my fingers. "I just keep waiting for it to hit me," I paused. "So far it hasn't."

"It will, Bells, give it some more time." He placed his hand over mine.

I smiled weakly and nodded my head.

"If you get desperate, you could always write a story about a tall dark Native American named Jacob who saves the entire human race from annihilation."

My smile widened and I tossed my head back in laughter. With one easy sentence Jake had lightened the mood.

"I'll have to think on that. It sounds like it could be interesting." My voice was laced with sarcasm.

"Oh come on, think of all the possibilities. You could include the whole tribe and everything. People would love that."

"Would there be romance? Because there always has to be some sort of love triangle or romantic interest. My readers would expect that."

"Sure, sure, there could be romance. You better make her hot though."

"Riiiight," I smiled. "What did you have in mind? An exotic beauty with pale blue eyes and onyx hair or someone a little more average, like--"

"Rosalie Hale," he cut me off.

"Seriously Jake? You have to be a bit more creative than that. Everyone knows she's beautiful I was thinking you'd want--"

"No," he cut me off again, placing his hand over mine. "I mean, Rosalie Hale."

I finally looked up at his face and noticed his eyes focused on something. Without even thinking, I turned my head in the direction he was staring and froze. My stomach dropped to my feet and my mouth felt dry.

Standing beside the white trellis of the restaurant was Rosalie Hale. Her hair draped over her shoulders in golden waves that shined in the sun. Half of her face was covered with large black sunglasses but there was no mistaking her. And there was definitely no mistaking the gorgeous, green eyed man standing at her side, looking at me with an expression that I hadn't seen since high school.

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**I know, I know. Stick with me here. **

**Next chapter will be EPOV and they will actually have a conversation. I PROMISE. **

**I'd love to hear your thoughts, please leave a review!!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Author Note:** okay so here it is! I know it took a while but ths one is a long one. Its over 12,000 words so think of it as two chapters in one. I could have posted the first half earlier but then you wouldn't get the conversation I promised.

This chapter is for one of the best reviewers in the world, the wonderful Mommyofboth. Thanks for your help and for being a fabulous friend. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BB!!

Special thanks to my AMAZING beta shwriteme. You're help means more than you could possibly know.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. But I do have a can of cranberry sauce in my pantry. heh

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**EPOV**

Light beamed in from behind the edge of my dark curtains, slicing a ribbon of white across my face. I waited for the murky haze of sleep to lift before I rolled onto my back and pried my eyes open.

The matte white ceiling that loomed above me looked familiar. It only took a few moments for my brain to register that I was indeed home, in LA, in my bed. It was normal for me to forget where I was sometimes, especially after a hectic filming schedule.

The past week left me feeling drained--physically and mentally exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to roll over and go back to bed for a week but I didn't have that luxury. And for the first time, I wasn't going to complain about it. If I slept all week then I'd miss seeing Bella, and that wasn't an option. Especially not after the confusion I'd been feeling lately. I needed to see her and figure this all out.

Every time I thought about it, I'd only grown more frustrated. When it came to sorting things out, I never usually had a problem.

I considered myself a pretty smart guy--not to be cocky or overly confident. I just knew myself. I studied hard but was fortune enough to be the type of person who understood things easily.

When I was four my parents said I sat down at the piano and in no time taught myself to play twinkle twinkle little star. They decided to nurture my creative side and had me take lessons. And while I was not a child prodigy, I still had a talent.

By the time I was eight I was asking questions about science and the human body. My dad, pleased that I was interested in something he knew, ate it up. I soaked in every bit of information he gave and it all made sense. Things just came easily to me.

I studied Molecular Biology in college and even though I never graduated with a degree in that field I could still explain the process of replication, transcription, and translation of genetic material.

I tended to categorize everything in my head. If there was something I didn't understand I studied until it made sense. It always worked for me, until now, until Bella.

Thanks to the odd questionnaires found floating around cyber space I'd spent the last few weeks getting to know everything I could about her. I knew her favorite time of year and why the spring made her happy. I knew her favorite flavor ice cream and candy bar. I knew what she liked to drink and what movie she saw last. I knew that she liked to read in libraries and be surrounded by books. Hell, I even knew the name of the last person she kissed, something which still put a bitter taste in my mouth.

All of these facts I knew and yet I was no closer to defining my feelings for her than I was four weeks ago. It didn't help that every time I started dwelling on the _what ifs_, a wave of unease set over me which I couldn't understand.

I sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Today was the day. I knew what I had to do. I'd been thinking about it since the moment I read the script. I had to find out how Bella felt. Whether the feelings of Kate, reflected her own. Even if it was years ago, I had to know.

That's why I emailed her. My week was going to be insane and I knew I wouldn't get a chance to communicate much with her but I wanted to let her know that I wanted to talk. I also wanted her to hear from me that I accepted the part and that I was excited about it.

I pulled back my sheet and stumbled from my bedroom to the kitchen. The cold stone floor pricked at my feet and helped awaken my senses. But it wasn't going to be enough, so I flipped on the coffee pot and waited for the first smells of morning. I absentmindedly flipped through an issue of Handyman reading the pros and cons of ceramic tile verses porcelain when my phone rang. I grabbed it off the island where it lay charging and smiled with I saw who was calling.

"Hey," I half yawned into the phone, clearly not awake yet.

"You're just now getting up? It's almost ten o'clock what are you doing sleeping in so late."

"It's been a crazy few days and I'm still getting used to the time change," I defended. "Why what's up?"

"I'm just trying to figure out why my little brother kept important information from me."

Emmett was always easy to read and right now he was annoyed. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the movie you just signed on for."

"Oh," I was caught off guard. I usually did make a habit of telling my family the movies I'm signed on for. Once my mom even talked me out of doing one film I was offered. Turned out it was a good call. The movie was a flop. In this case though, I just honestly forgot. Probably because it all happened so fast and I wasn't in the states. Either way, it wasn't a legitimate reason for Emmett to be mad.

"Why are you pissed? I don't have to tell you every movie script I read or part I'm offered."

"I'm not talking about that. As your brother I'm not required to know that sort of stuff. What I _am_ required to know is when you're going to be staring along side chicks like Rosalie Hale."

_Ah, so that's the issue. _I smiled to myself and decided to play with him a bit. "What's the big deal about Rosalie?" I was met with silence. I could hear his breathing so I knew he was there. "Emmett?

"Did you just ask what's the big deal is about Rosalie Hale? Edward man, are we talking about the same girl? You know, tall blonde, knockout, a body that could kill a man."

"That sounds kind of like her."

"Kind of? You're kidding me right?"

By now his voice was raised a few octaves and I could vividly picture his shocked face in my mind. I chuckled again, only this time I let it out. "Yes Emmett. I'm kidding and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her."

"Thank God. I was beginning to think we maybe we weren't related after all." He laughed. "When do you meet her?"

"I'm not sure. Jessica has been trying to get us set up for a meeting sometime soon. You know to give some hype to the movie." I rolled my eyes and even though Emmett couldn't see it he heard the tone of my voice.

"And having lunch with her is a problem?" he guessed. "Edward. She's hot. There _is_ no problem."

Of course for Emmett there would be no problem. But for me it was something else entirely.

Two days ago Jessica called me to inform me that she'd be arranging a meeting with Rosalie and I hesitated. I hesitated for the same reason I hesitated now. One, she incredibly attractive, which wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that's she's been known to land the guys she co-stars with. Normally, I'd ignore what the gossip columns say and give her the benefit of the doubt. But I knew this rumor to be true, at least partially. Two, she was a woman who got what she wanted. And if I was trying to figure out what my feelings were for Bella I couldn't have someone like Rosalie confusing things.

I had tried to tell myself there was nothing to worry about but still casually mentioned to Jessica that I was sure we'd meet at some point considering we were to begin filming so soon. She wasn't having any of that, after all it would "bring great publicity to the film". I hung up knowing the point was moot. If she wanted me to meet with Rosalie, I'd meet with her.

"…end of next month."

I only caught the end of Emmett's comment and shook my head into focus. "Wait, what?"

"I said I may have to make a trip out there the end of next month. I've gotta meet her and you're going to introduce me. Unless, you're thinking of mixing business with pleasure?"

"Uh, no. I mean, I don't think so. I wasn't planning on it." I stammered through my explanation. Just before Emmett could make a smart ass comment, my line beeped. I took a look at my screen and saw Jessica's name. Normally I'd let her leave a message and call her back but I had no desire to continue my Rosalie Hale conversation with Emmett.

"Hey Em, I'm getting another call. I have to go."

"Alright man, but don't think we're done talking. I'm going to want details if and when you meet her."

I mumbled an "uh-huh" and quickly said goodbye before clicking over to the other line. "Hey Jess,"

"Edward, I'm surprised you answered. I thought for sure you'd sleep all day."

"Yeah, well, I've got some stuff to do." _Like talk to Bella. _

"Good because I have something I need you to do," her voice was half sweet half commanding. It was one of the things that made her so good at her job. She was tough enough to tell you what to do but sweet enough to make it sound like she was politely asking. Like you could actually say no to her if you wanted, of course no one ever did. That was the trick.

"And what would that be?"

"I set up a lunch date with you and Rosalie."

_Shit._

"Now before you say no just hear me out. It is nothing but a lunch date. You two are doing a film together and all I'm saying is that it would be great for the press to see you two out and about. You know, get them talking, wondering what's going on between you two before the movie even begins filming."

"There _is _nothing going on between us," I reminded her. I hated this stuff--the scheming the speculation.

"Well I know that, you know that, and Rosalie knows that. But _they_ don't."

I remained silent while I thought it through. She was probably right. And a simple lunch date couldn't hurt. It would be nice to get to know her a little before we start filming and Jane as well, for that matter.

"What about Jane?" I asked.

"She's a no go for today. She's still in Oregon filming, but I'll arrange something for next week. Does this means you'll go?"

"Under one condition."

"Oh boy, I knew there'd be a catch."

"I don't want the papz tipped off. If people see us, then that's fine. But I don't want a hoard of cameras in my face. I'm having this lunch date to get to know Rosalie not make a statement."

My request was met with silence and I knew Jessica was probably weighing her odds. If she didn't agree then there would be no lunch and therefore no chance of us being spotted together.

"Fine. I made a reservation for two thirty, at that little café right near the studio offices. That way you guys could swing by afterwards if you want."

"Sure, that sounds fine." It was actually more than fine. If we were that close I'd have an excuse to make sure and drop by and hopefully run into Bella.

We spent the next few minutes talking business. Apparently there were a few magazines vying for the first interview regarding Angel at Dusk.

"I still can't believe you're filming a movie based off of Bella's book. I mean who would have ever thought? It's crazy right? I still can't believe she's a big time author. Kate mentioned she'd be out here this week to meet with the directors and stuff."

"Yeah, that's what I hear," I played it off, not telling her that she was in _fact_ going to be here today. And that I also knew she was landing sometime around twelve. It paid to have an assistant like Kate. She could find out almost anything.

"Have you read it yet?" she asked.

"No, not yet. You?" I found myself holding my breath, waiting for her response.

"I bought it yesterday and I haven't been able to put it down. She captures the feeling of high school and first love perfectly. I swear it's like I could be this girl. Ugh, it's _so_ good. "

I smiled at the thought of someone loving Bella's work. And from what it sounded like Jessica hadn't put two and two together or noticed any similarities. A wave of doubt hit me and, for a second, I contemplated whether or not I was imagining the whole thing. Then I thought about the parts of the script I'd read. The parts where I was clearly Andrew and I pushed all doubt aside. _I'm not imagining that he and I are practically the same._ I told myself, feeling sure of at least that fact.

"So have you two talked anymore since Thanksgiving?" Her tone was playful and I knew what she was getting at. Jess was always the matchmaker. Even in high school. But it didn't work then, and it wasn't going to work now. If I was going to do something about Bella I was going to do it my own way..

"We're friends," I said casually, hoping she'd let the subject drop. I knew it would take every last bit of self control for Jessica not to press the matter but she knew how I felt about her boundaries when it came to my personal life.

"That's really great Edward. It's good to have friends who know the real you."

I felt my jaw go slack. I wasn't expecting that. "It _is_ good," I agreed.

We ended our discussion with Jessica promising to get all the information we'd talked about to Kate and Marcus.

I glanced at the clock and noted that I had a few hours before I had to leave. I poured myself another cup of coffee and walked back into my bedroom. The conversation I had with Jessica flitted through my mind as I pulled the blankets up on my bed, especially her comment about having friends that knew the real me.

I always made friends pretty easily and had a few whom I considered to be close. Close enough to call and email and go out for drinks with. But she was right in assuming that I didn't have many friends who knew the real me. Being in the business meant that certain things were kept private. It wasn't that people couldn't know, but rather I didn't want the whole world knowing every last detail about me. I felt a different level of comfort around my family and those people who knew the real me. And Bella was one of them.

My stomach twisted as I thought about the possibility of losing that. Of losing the friendship that I had with her. It sat heavy in the pit of my stomach and I'd been avoiding it and pushing it aside for a month. The coward part of me wanted to continue to avoid the whole thing entirely. I had some experience with avoiding things when it came to Bella that went back as far as high school. And clearly the past few weeks are proof that I could still do it.

_No, things are different now. _I scolded myself for even thinking it. I made the mistake of taking the easy route once before and this time I wasn't going to do that.

Feeling satisfied with my resolve I made my way into the bathroom and turned on the shower, waiting for the water to warm up. Standing in front of the sink I looked back at my reflection. My eyes looked tired, but they basically looked the same as they did in high school. My face hadn't changed drastically but there were the subtle changes that came with age--more facial hair, sharper lines. I was a far cry from the short kid on his first day of school at Forks high.

I remembered how I used to stand in front of the mirror and brush my teeth before heading of to school. How I used to wonder sometimes what Bella saw when she looked at me. That all changed one day of my sophomore year and after a while my thoughts became more about Tanya and other girls at school.

Watching as the steam billow from behind the shower curtain I let my mind drift back to that day.

_**8 years ago**_

It had been an unseasonably warm day for winter and the snow that once covered the ground in a white blanket had melted. The streets were covered with brown slush and the dead ground and bare trees left the town looking drab. But even my grey surroundings couldn't keep my spirits down. It was Monday and that meant I'd get to see Bella. I smiled as I thought her name, and felt a flutter expand in my chest.

I finished brushing my teeth and looked at my reflection. _Today's the day, don't screw this up._

Ever since the first day back to school things had been different between me and Bella. We were still friends but there was something more. I felt it. And I could only hope that she did too. The only way to really know for sure was to ask her, and I didn't see myself doing that--Emmett maybe, but not me. So I settled on just asking her out. _I can always turn it into something school related if she doesn't seem into it. _

Feeling confident in my plan I headed downstairs.

"Edward honey, Emmett has to leave school early today for an appointment so I'll be picking you up. I'll wait out front alright?"

"Sure, that's fine," I mumbled through a bite of toast.

"Don't talk with your mouth full and when are you going to let me cut this mop of yours?" She mussed with my hair and I leaned away as best I could.

"I'll cut it when it gets longer." I swallowed my bite with some milk I ducked away from her before she could make a second pass. "It's not that bad." I added with a mumble.

My mom spun around and looked at me. "Of course not. You look handsome just the way you are."

"Come on Mom, you're going to give him a pretty boy complex." Emmett strode into the kitchen and immediately went to work piling his plate with scrambled eggs.

"Oh, shush. And make sure you leave some of those eggs for your brother."

Emmett looked at me with raised eyebrows before nodding to the pan.

"No, I'm good. You can have them." I answered his unspoken question before finishing off my milk.

"Toast and milk is hardly a good breakfast. Besides, you need the protein." My mom placed her hands on her hips and dared me to challenge her. .

"Mom's right," Emmett shrugged. "If you're going out for the team next year you've got to bulk up. You may have hit a growth spurt but you've gotta use it. You don't want to end up tall and lanky do you?"

I rolled my eyes but knew he was right. Being in shape was Emmett's passion. He could probably teach our health class better than Couch Clapp on a good day. Silently accepting his comment I grabbed a plate and dug in.

Two hours later I regretted my choice of eating anything. My stomach was in knots and I was close to losing it all on the shiny commercial grade floor.

I walked down the hallway, books in hand and went over my "ask Bella out plan". I had two more classes before lunch. One of which was gym that I had with her. I planned on using that time to build up some nerve and then during lunch I'd ask her out. Walking into class I didn't notice Jessica sitting in my seat until I was standing in front of her.

"Hi Edward," she smiled.

"Hey." My brows pulled together in confusion. Jessica was always friendly but she'd never done this before. I stared at my seat wondering what she could possibly want.

"Oh sorry, here," she hopped up and quickly relinquished my chair.

I took a seat and placed my books on the desk. Jessica hadn't moved from her spot and I could feel her eyes on me. A little trickle of fear crept up my spine. Ben told me a month ago that he heard Jessica saying that she thought I was hot. I wasn't sure if she'd decided now was the time to make it known to me or what.

_What do I say if she asks me out? _

I was quickly fumbling for words of excuse when I noticed she was talking. Bella's name came from her mouth and I was shocked back to the present.

"What about Bella?" I asked quickly hoping I didn't sound too eager.

"Look Edward," she sat down in the seat next to me and pulled her chair closer. "I've been watching you guys since last year. And even _then_ I could tell you liked her." she held up her hand in signal for me not to say a word and continued talking. "She on the other hand is a little harder to read. But lately I'm almost positive she's into you. So, I'm offering to help you."

I watched her closely and didn't say a word. I didn't know what to say. I could ignore her and tell her she's imagining things or I could hear her out. After all, anything more I learned would only help in asking Bella out, right? She took my silence as a sign and smiled.

"Here's what I'll do. Since we have Gym next period together I'll make sure I walk to lunch with her. I'll just drop a little hint that I heard you might be into going out with her. I'll see what she says and I'll let you know if she is interested."

"And you'll do this because…" I trailed off, waiting for the other half of the deal.

"Because I'm nice like that, and I want to see you two together already." She fidgeted a little and looked away before turning back to me. "And I'd really like it if you could, you know. Do the same for me, with Mike."

_And there it is. _It was pretty obvious that Jessica had the hots for Mike and sometimes he showed interest back. Jessica must have been deeper than I thought because I didn't see this as being a small step for her. She was putting herself out there and admitting she liked him, a lot.

The bell rang and kids started taking their seats. Jessica moved out of the chair next to me and waited.

"Alright." I nodded.

Her eyes went wide and she smiled. "Great. I'll catch you later then." She spun around and hurried to the back of the room to take her seat.

And I spent the next hour thinking about everything but school work.

Gym went by in a blur and because Coach Clapp decided today was the day to separate into groups for weight training I only had a second to say hi to Bella.

I hesitantly looked over at Jessica who gave me a quick thumbs up before heading off in with Bella's group. _What am I getting myself into? _I wondered running my fingers through my hair.

My group headed over to the bench press and I decided to burn off a little energy with the hopes of pushing the butterflies away with it. Mike stood behind me as a spot.

"I hear you're going out for the team next fall Cullen?"

I pushed the bar away from my chest and exhaled, welcoming the burn that ran through my arms. "You heard right."

"That makes two of us then."

Mike was a good athlete, everyone knew that. But I was surprised to hear he was giving football a try. Basketball and soccer were more his thing.

"Cool. We're losing some good players this year."

"That's exactly why I'm going out." Normally I'd roll my eyes at a comment like that. Mike may be a good athlete was he was cocky and he always rubbed me the wrong way. I almost dropped the bar and walked but remembered my part of the "deal" with Jessica.

_It's now or never. _

"Saw Stanley checking you out earlier. You ever consider going out with her?" I noticed his shift in stance as his eyes dashed around the room.

"Maybe, why are you asking?"

"Just curious, I think she might like you." Either he really had no clue that she liked him or he was an amazing actor because his face showed nothing but shock. "Anyway," I continued my last rep, "just thought maybe you'd want to do something about that." I sat up and wiped my the sweat off my forehead with my sleeve.

Mike still looked deep in thought but there was a smirk on his face.

_Guess that answers that question. _

I stood up and walked across the room to grab a drink from the fountain. Talking to Mike was easier than I thought it would be. Now, all I could do is hope that things were going to go that smoothly for Jessica.

We finished up our last rotation and Couch sent us to the lockers to get dressed. I found myself hurrying as I tugged my pants on and slipped back into my shoes. I grabbed my tee-shirt and pulled it over my head on the way out the door. The bell still hadn't rung and I was hoping to find a spot where I could wait for Jessica. I walked to the end of the hallway and turned the corner. Deciding it was as good a place as any I leaned back and waited. My heart beat quickly against my ribs and I absently wiped the sweat of my palms on my jeans.

A moment later I heard peel of laughter that clearly belonged to Stanley and the voices of a few other girls. My body tensed and I held my breath. _Keep it together Cullen. You can do this. _I gathered my courage and swallowed thickly before taking a step away from the wall.

"You should have seen him. It was like he was eating her face. Don't guys know that we don't want to have our faces sucked off? I mean seriously, it was gross."

"Sounds like it." Bella's voice hit me and I froze.

"Speaking of guys and kissing. Thinking of doing some of that with Edward?"

"Edward?"

"Yes Edward," Jessica confirmed. "He's a hottie and I've seen the way he looks at you."

My cheeks felt warm as a wave of embarrassment rushed over me. I wasn't planning on actually being there when Jessica spoke to her but I couldn't bring my feet to move away.

"We're just friends Jess, that's it."

"You are _now_ but that doesn't mean you have to stay that way."

There was a moment of silence and I prayed to God they hadn't turned down another hall. My pulse raced and had to close my eyes to focus. Taking a deep breath I held it and strained to hear Bella's response.

"Yes it does. Edward and I… we're friends. It just wouldn't work as anything more than that. We don't belong together."

Her words cut through me and I stumbled back, hitting the wall with a thud. At the same second the shrill toll of the bell echoed through the hallway. Doors opened and students filled the halls as they made their way to lunch, pushing and joking with each other on their way.

I spun on my heel and quickly headed down the hall for the bathroom. Once inside I gripped the sink and looked at my reflection. _We don't belong together. It's okay, we're friends. _I repeated the words over and over in my head, until the sound of them didn't cause my stomach to twist.

I'd thought she cared for me too. Thought she'd had feelings for me other than those of friendship. By the time I left the bathroom that day I had forced myself to the conclusion that it didn't matter. Just because she thought we didn't belong together didn't mean I would stop being her friend. That's what we were to begin with and that what we'd continue to be. I knew then, even as I do now, that having Bella in my life as a friend is better than not having her at all.

_**Present Day**_

Steam billowed around me, clouding my vision and bringing my thoughts back to the present. The mirror was fogged up and my reflection was now a hazy blur. I stared back anyway as the distant memories continued to fade.

I shook my head laughing. I never thought I'd be back in a situation similar to the one from high school. Granted I wasn't asking her out today, but I was asking a pretty loaded question, one that could affect our relationship. The difference was, this time I'd do the asking. Not Jessica.

I also had the added knowledge of the script. This scene wasn't in it, but in reading others like it I now knew how things could have been misconstrued. Things that Bella thought were often different from the way I viewed them. I wouldn't let that happen again. _This time I'll be sure_.

I waited for the boost in confidence this knowledge should give me but it was minimal. In fact the nervous flutter in my stomach was quickly over powering everything else. With one final calming exhale I climbed into the shower, suddenly thankful for a large hot water tank. I had some serious tension to release.

-------

"I'm not sure Edward. I told her assistant that you'd meet her there. You want me to call her again? I mean it is Rosalie." She joked.

"No. I'll give it ten minutes."

"Call me if she hasn't shown up by then."

I ended my call with Jessica and double checked my messages. I'd sent Bella a text after I got out of the shower earlier and she still hadn't responded. Nervously running my fingers through my hair I sat back with sigh. I knew that I shouldn't be so worked up but it impossible. My mind felt like it was in a million places all at once. I couldn't settle on one thought for more than a second before it dashed on to something else.

Deciding that walking my help, I grabbed my keys and stepped out of the car. No sooner had I closed the door when my phone started ringing. The number wasn't one I recognized but I answered anyway.

"Is this Edward?"

I hesitated for a brief moment. I'd had calls like this before and they usually resulted in me getting my number changed. I decided to risk it.

"It is."

"Oh hey, it's Rose. Are you here already?"

"Yeah, I'm in the parking lot a few blocks away."

"Me too, I'll meet you at the entrance."

She hung up before I could agree and I was left staring at my phone. I gave a shrug and made my way through the lot. Just as she said, she was waiting for me at the entrance. In an emerald green dress that wrapped around her body and showed off the figure she was known for. She was a sight. It was obvious that I wasn't the only male to notice her, or person for that matter. Women and men couldn't help but stare as they walked or drove by. Clearly she was used to it and didn't pay them any attention. She did however smile when she saw me walking up.

"Hi," she smiled. "I'm sorry I'm late. Traffic can be a bitch sometimes and I'm trying to work on my road rage."

"No problem. Are you ready to eat?"

"Lead the way."

We walked for a few steps in silence before Rosalie spoke up.

"My assistant told me that Jane couldn't make it today."

I nodded and told her what Jessica mentioned about her filming schedule and about us meeting up sometime next week.

"I'm excited to work with her. And I think she'll make a perfect Katherine."

I thought of Bella and then tried to picture Jane. Although they looked different to my eyes there were a few similarities. Jane had small features like Bella does and her eyes were large and had a certain vulnerability about them. A vision of Bella flashed in my mind and I concentrated on her eyes- dark and expressive. I'd forgotten just how beautiful they were.

I had to agree with Rosalie; Jane would make a great Katherine/Bella. But just as I opened my mouth to comment, I heard it. A familiar ringing laugh that put an automatic smile on my face whenever I heard it. I never knew a laugh that could imprint itself in my mind, but hers did.

I froze mid-step and turned toward the sound. There, only a few feet away; barely visible around the restaurants foliage was Bella. She was sitting down at a small table under the shade of the large umbrella laughing freely. Her head tossed back and her smile wide. I felt the jump within my chest as my heart set into a frantic rhythm.

"Edward, you alright?" Rosalie took a step in front of me cutting my view.

Realizing that I was just standing and staring I quickly began walking again. "Yeah sorry, my mind was somewhere else." We didn't get more than five feet before she stopped at the entrance to the same café where Bella was eating.

"I hear they have a great chef salad."

"Yeah?" I mumbled only half paying attention.

I leaned slightly to the side so I could get another glimpse of Bella through the hanging flower baskets and that's when I saw him. Sitting at Bella's side was a guy. He was dark and from what I could see, pretty large in stature. I wondered briefly if she was having her meeting with one of the creative directors here at the café instead of the office but then I watched as he placed his hand over hers, rubbing the pad of his thumb across her delicate wrist. Everything slowed down and I could only stare as Bella's eyes came to mine-chocolate brown mixing with green.

My stomach dropped and an indescribable emotion spread through me. Jealousy, anger, frustration, happiness, confusion? I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I didn't feel comfortable watching the two of them touch. Or rather, _him_ touch her.

The emotions stirring within me felt oddly familiar and when I tried to place it I could come up with only one other time I'd ever felt this way. And that was in high school when Mike would talk to Bella. At the time I told myself it was just Mike. She deserved someone better than him. But now, having these similar feelings while seeing her with someone else who was clearly not Mike, I wasn't so sure.

_Maybe it was more all along._

I felt envious of the complete stranger that sat by her side. I wanted to be there, in his place. I wanted to be the one to make her laugh and touch her hand.

As soon as I thought the words my heart gave a wild thump and something deep within me clicked into place.

"They're ready to seat us Edward." Rosalie's voice cut through my mind and I blinked, severing the connection I had with Bella. I looked at Rosalie and smiled, hoping that I looked more put together than I felt.

She returned my smile with one of her own and before I knew it I felt the warmth of her hand wrap around my forearm. My eyes immediately looked down at our connection then back to her face.

"Rosalie I--"

"Rose, call me Rose." She smiled again and tugged gently on my arm as she started walking.

I followed beside her in silence trying to make sense of what just went down. The waiter led us in the direction of Bella's table and chanced a look over at her. She was talking with the man next to her but as soon as her eyes caught mine she smiled hesitantly. Before I let myself question her uncertainty I took a deep breath and walked right past our table to hers. I heard Rose say something beside me and felt her hand slip from my arm but I didn't stop.

"Bella," I said her name and her once shy smile spread into the wide one I was so used to.

"Hey!" she pushed back from the table just as I reached her. I bent down and pulled her into a hug. As soon as I touched her and a feeling of calm warmth spread over me. I almost felt like I was home. After a minute I leaned back a little and looked down at her face.

"You said you'd call me if you were ever in LA." I raised an eyebrow and gave her my best accusing look. She bought it hook line and sinker and flushed red with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. I didn't have my phone on and then when I landed I forgot to turn it on until I realized I hadn't called Alice and then I saw that you'd called and I figured I'd wait until after--"

"Bella, I'm kidding. I'm kidding." I held up my hands in defeat to show I was in fact being serious. She paused for a second and her eyes narrowed.

"That reminds me. How _did_ you know I was going to be here today?"

"I have my ways," I shrugged.

Her jaw fell open and she began to speak up when the guy next to her stood up and extended his hand.

"I'm Jacob by the way. Jacob Black."

Bella spun around, her hands fluttering about. "Oh, I'm sorry. Umm yeah, Edward this is Jacob, Jacob this is Edward." I reached out to shake his hand and didn't fail to notice the extra firm grip. We took a moment to do the typical "guy sizing up the other guy" before someone cleared their throat. This time it was my time to turn around.

Rosalie was standing off to the side, her sunglasses still perched on her nose and a smirk playing on her lips. I dropped Jacobs hand and held my arm out to Rosalie.

"Jacob, Bella. I'd like you to meet Rosalie. Rose this is my friend--"

"Isabella Swan," she finished, cutting me off. "I'm a fan of your writing."

I realized that this was the first time I had a chance to see Bella interact with one of her fans. She wasn't as shy as I imagined she might be. Her cheeks did flush light pink but she held her head high and looked confident.

"Thank you. It always makes me so happy to hear when someone enjoys it. I'm a fan of your work as well."

"Thanks, although I can't imagine it being as hard as writing a book. I don't know how you do it."

"That makes two of us," I said while shaking my head.

Bella looked at me and rolled her eyes. "We've talked about this before. I could never do what you do either."

"So wait, you know each other?" Rose asked in confusion, looking back and forth between the two of us.

Bella's cheeks turned bright red and she turned to me. "Edward and I went to high school together."

"Small world huh?" I added with a laugh.

Rosalie looked deep in thought for a moment and then she shrugged, seeming to dismiss whatever she was thinking. "Small world indeed."

Jacob didn't seem at all surprised by the revelation but I could have been wrong. _Does that mean he knows about me? _I shouldn't have cared either way but I did. Knowing that maybe Bella had mentioned me before made me glad.

The waiter chose that second to approach us and ask if we were ready to order. Before I had a chance to respond Rose blurted out that she'd take the chefs salad and sat down at Bella's table. The waiter looked at me and I think I asked for a burger.

"Are you meeting with the directors today?" she asked looking up at Bella, who was still standing.

"Umm, yes," she nodded. "I have an appointment at four."

"Mind if Edward and I tag along? I'd love to see what they have planned so far and any opportunity to pick your brain would be great."

I looked at Rose with wide eyes. I was hoping to maybe stop in during the meeting so I'd be sure to get a few minutes alone with Bella afterwards but I wasn't expecting to go about it this way. Then again something told me Rosalie Hale was the type of person to get what she wanted and not beat around the bush when asking.

"Sure, that sounds fine. I'd be happy to help." Bella sat down across from Rose and Jacob followed after her. It didn't escape my notice that he rubbed her back affectionately before turning back to his meal. She didn't seem to notice and it made me wonder if it was normal behavior between them.

Eventually our food came and we all carried on in casual conversation but I was only partially paying attention. I made a comment here and there and watched them all interact but my thoughts were somewhere else. My brain was in overdrive as I thought about the possible relationship between the Bella and Jacob. I wondered if they were dating and if so, how long they'd been together. I noticed he called her by a nickname and that alone had to mean something. I continued on this train of thought, for I don't know how long, until I heard Rose mention Angle at Dusk. At that second all other thoughts came to a screeching halt.

"I cried when I read it. And I don't cry, period. Unless of course, it's for a role. It was so heart wrenching and beautiful at the same time. I've never been a real believer in true love but after reading your story I'm having second thoughts."

Bella swallowed and picked up her glass of lemonade. "I cried when I wrote it," she said casually but then hesitated as if she just realized what she'd said.

"You did?" I asked unable to stop myself.

She nodded and took a sip of her drink as if it was nothing. "You have to get into the minds of your characters. I love Katherine almost like she's my sister or my best friend. So of course I felt for her."

Bella's eyes were focused on the food in front of her but I couldn't look away from her face. I wanted to ask her right then. Ask her if she was Katherine and if what she felt was real.

"Bella, you'd probably be a better actress than you thought." Rose said with a laugh, bursting the bubble of tension I felt forming around me. "That's what acting is. And if you can channel a character in a script like you do with your stories you'd be amazing."

"Yeah you should try it Bells." Jacob said giving her a nudge.

Bella stifled a laugh and shook her head adamantly. "No way, I'll leave that up to you professionals."

"Speaking of which," Rose looked down at her watch. "We better get going."

_Already? _

I glanced down at my watch and was shocked to see that time really had flown by. There was a jump in my stomach when I realized that I'd have to talk to Bella soon. I'd been planning it all week but now that it was here, and so close, I felt nothing but raw nerves covering excitement.

We made our way to the front of the restaurant and I watched the way Jacob kept Bella close to his side. I'd spent almost the entire hour and a half watching the two of them interact and one thing was clear. No matter what they were, they were close.

"Looks like we have company," Rose whispered into my ear, pulling my thoughts away.

I looked up just in time to hear the ever familiar click of a camera, which was quickly followed by another and another. _Great, just what I wanted. _

I spun around and told Bella we'd meet her there and watched out of the corner of my eye as they walked off, hand in hand.

Rose stepped in closer to my side and grabbed a hold of my forearm. Knowing that this whole situation could get overwhelming pretty quickly I didn't hesitate before putting my arm around her waist and guiding us through the crowd. We kept our faces down slightly as we made our way down the street ignoring the questions as they were thrown at us.

It took me almost ten minutes to get out of the parking lot and onto the street. Apparently the paparazzi wouldn't mind getting hit by a car as long as they got a good picture. Rose must have had better luck than me because she was already waiting in the lobby when I entered.

"They block you in?" Rose asked, already knowing the answer.

"Sure did."

I heard the door behind me swing open and turned to find Bella and Jacob walking in. Bella looked slightly annoyed and Jacob was laughing.

"I told you I'm not a child. I can carry my own bags."

"And I told you I didn't care. Look Bells, as long as I'm with you, I'm carrying your bags. So stop complaining."

She made another attempt at looking angry which only made Jacob laugh harder. He walked past the two of us and pressed the button for the elevator.

"Tell you what. I'll let you carry them when you get off the elevator." She didn't say anything so he kept talking. "And you're sure you'll be alright getting to your hotel? I can call and tell them I can't make the appointment."

It was amazing to watch Bella's once angry face soften almost instantly. "Yes, Jake I'll be fine."

Appeased with her answer Jacob nodded his head toward Rose and me. "It was nice meeting you two. I'm looking forward to the movie. Make sure you don't screw it up for my girl here."

Rose tossed back her head and let out a rich sultry laugh. "We'll try not to." I nodded to agree with Rose and watched as Jake closed the space between Bella and himself. I held my breath and my chest tightened with every inch. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her cheek softly and at that second his name hit me. I could almost see the questionnaire in my mind.

_Jacob, the last person Bella kissed, great_.

Twinges of jealousy pricked my heart while I listened to Bella say her goodbyes and promise to text him when she was done with her meeting. All the while I tried not to pay attention to the way she looked at him or the way she smiled at him, but it was pointless. I couldn't, not notice.

Rosalie, Bella and I stood in the elevator in silence. I hated that I didn't know what to say, especially to Bella. She was someone who I always felt comfortable around. I chanced a look over at her and noticed her fingers drumming nervously on her leg. Her bottom lip was bright red as she bit into it with her teeth.

"It's going to be okay," I whispered to her, gently brushing my hand along her elbow.

She looked up at me with wide eyes. I could see every fleck of gold that lined her pupils and the dark rich brown that circled it. My previous memory of her eyes didn't do them justice. Not even a little bit.

"I didn't think I'd be so nervous," she mumbled, dropping her head down slightly.

"Hey," I said, nudging her arm and making her look up again. "You're going to do great. I know it." I once again placed my hand on her elbow in assurance.

I noticed her body relax and she nodded her head. "Thanks," she whispered.

The elevator doors opened with a ding and reached down to grab Bella's luggage. She opened her mouth to protest but I cut her off, using Jacobs's previous words.

"As long as I'm here I'm carrying your bags, so don't complain." Her jaw hung open and she gaped at me. I smirked back and gave her a quick wink before walking off the elevator. _I might as_ _well hold off on mentioning that I plan on driving her to her hotel. _

The lady behind the counter greeted us with a pleasant smile and took Bella's luggage. She directed us straight back where we were met by Stefan and Vladimir, the two directors for the film who also happened to be brothers.

"What a surprise. We were only expecting Miss. Swan." Stefan walked toward us with open arms and introduced himself and Vladimir.

"I hope it's not too much of a problem that we're here. Edward and I were meeting for lunch and happened to bump into Bella. We just couldn't resist seeing what you guys had planned so far."

"No, it's not a problem at all." He assured taking Rose's hand in his and kissing its back. "Follow us right this way. We have the story board set up down the hall."

I noticed Bella's back straighten and I wondered if she was drawing in her strength, the way I used to do before going into an audition. Her eyes flashed over to mine briefly and I smirked back.

"Ready?" I mouthed.

A nervous giggle bubbled from her mouth and she shook her head side to side. "Yes?"

Whether I was nervous for her or simply entertained by her reaction I wasn't sure, but I laughed. Bella watched me for a second, her eyes bright with humor and decided to join me. It turned out to be the best way to break the tension and the two of us laughed together as we walked down the hall.

When we entered the large room and I heard Bella gasp beside me. Almost every square inch of walls were covered with pictures, sketches, even swatches of fabrics. She took a step around me and walked up to the first set of pictures that was closest.

"Is this the school?" her fingers hovered over the picture, as if it would vanish if she touched it.

"Yes. Our location scouts were pretty happy when they found it. They went through almost a dozen schools before they spotted that one."

"That's amazing." She took her time looking over each picture individually, picking out little details that she thought could be important. Both Stefan and Vladimir drank in every word she said, taking notes as they asked more questions.

We continued to work our way around the room. They had pictures of everything. From the layout of the café in town, to the color of bedding they wanted in Andrea's room on the night of the sleepover. Certain scenes were even sketched out in detail, depicting defining moments in the film.

Vladimir pointed at one sketch to explain. "Now here's the scene where Kate finally tells Andrew how she feels. We really want to make this scene a pivotal one."

"We were even thinking that rain would be good." Stefan cut in, his voice full of excitement. "A storm is brewing in the sky and just after she tells him the first few drops fall. It gradually gets heavier as the conversation continues and then when she runs to her car the skies open. We'd have a great shot of her sitting at the wheel crying while the rain pounds down around her."

Bella was silent as she stared at the sketches, her back turned to the rest of us. Both men and Rosalie looked at me in concern. I didn't know what to do but I took a step forward anyway. Just as I was about to touch her she spoke up.

"It's perfect. That's just as I imagined it would be." Her voice hitched a little at the end and I had to fight the desire I felt to wrap her up in my arms and ask if she was alright. She took a deep breath and spun around, nothing but a faint glimmer in her eyes to show her emotion. "It's all so surreal, seeing it all lay out like this. I just never imagined…" her voice trailed off and she bit down on her lip.

"You gave us something great to work with. When a writer is as descriptive as you are it makes it easy to imagine. We just had to find the right places."

Bella blushed in response and smiled at both directors.

"Come now, we have a few more things we'd like to go over."

We spent the next hour or so discussing the film. Rose and I asked questions throughout, absorbing every detail we could about our characters. I couldn't help but feel slightly ridiculous asking questions that I knew were very likely about me but there was enough that I didn't know to keep me guessing. Andrew was, after all, created from Bella's perspective. What I think happened and what Bella thinks happened were sometimes two very different things.

When I wasn't asking questions I was watching. Watching the way Bella lit up when asked a certain question or the way she twisted her hair when she was listening. I found myself staring at her mouth on more than one occasion and the way her tongue would sweep across her bottom lip, leaving it moist. I'd watched Bella before, but this time it was different. I wasn't talking directly to her so I had the freedom to look a little longer than normal.

Unfortunately, when someone is blatantly staring it's easier to get caught. Somewhere between questions about school uniforms and colors Bella's eyes lifted to my direction. Since my eyes were already locked with hers I could do nothing but smile and turn away casually as if it was nothing. However, the heat I felt blazing in my cheeks told me she might not have bought it.

By the time we were done Vladimir and Stefan had pages full of notes. They didn't look even the slightest bit overwhelmed, in fact they looked more excited than ever. Together we walked to the elevators and I stepped aside to grab Bella's bags. Now that we were ready to leave I realized it was time to mention that I would be driving Bella to her hotel. There was, after all, no reason for her to take a cab if I had a car here.

I ran over a few different ways I could address the topic while everyone said their goodbyes. I heard the two men ask Bella if she would come to set as soon as things were under way. She seemed hesitant at first but then Rosalie insured her that the cast would love the chance to meet her. With a tentative nod, she agreed.

Bella and Rose continued to make small talk as the elevator doors opened to the lobby and we stepped off. Bella started to walk to the front information desk but I grabbed her arm.

"My car is this way."

"Yes and I need to call a cab."

"Bella, I'm not letting you take a cab when I can drive you myself." Surprisingly she didn't fight me. Instead she nodded briefly and fiddled with the strap on her shoulder.

"Umm, okay sure.

_Hmm, that was easy. _

"Well aren't you a gentleman?" Rose asked, taking a step toward me. "Was he always this way Bella?"

"Pretty much yeah." She smirked.

"I'm going to take your word on that," she looked at me. "I'll call you later and we can discuss plans for next week." Rose slipped her hand into mine and gave it a squeeze. "It was so nice meeting you Bella. I can't wait until you come on set."

Bella smiled back but it didn't reach her eyes. "It was great meeting you too Rose," she said. "I'll see you later." The two of us stood side by side and watched as Rose stepped out into the setting sun.

"Where are we heading?" I looked down at Bella and she looked dazed, lost in her thoughts. "Bella?"

She blinked when she heard me say her name. "I'm sorry what?"

"I said where are we heading? What hotel are you staying at?"

"Oh, yeah. Umm, the Bel-Air." She said with a mumble.

My eyes went wide. "Wow."

"Alice did it. I mean she made me. She booked the room actually, something about needing to experience certain things in my life."

"The Bel-Air is beautiful. I'd say she picked a good one to experience."

"I'll make sure to tell her."

"How is she doing anyway? Still busy with wedding planning?" It felt good to have something to talk about. Something to take my mind off of subject I knew I had to address. Plus, I liked Alice, or what I'd heard of her. It was easy to see that Bella loved her as a sister.

"She's great. The wedding planning is in full swing. I was fitted with my bridesmaid dress not too long ago and she has her first fitting next week. It's all happening so fast. It will be here before I know it."

"And the groom, does he seem nervous?"

"Jasper? Oh no. I think Jasper was ready to marry Alice the first day he met her."

"That eager?" I asked with a laugh.

"I don't know about eager. It's just. How do I explain them?" She bit on her lip while she thought and I had to fight the desire I felt to touch her mouth. I waited, fingers twitching while she thought. "The two of them are the closet thing I've ever seen to soul mates," she finally said. "Honest to goodness soul mates. And if I didn't see them together from the beginning I don't know if I'd actually believe it. But I _did_ see them. And watching them fall in love was…amazing."

"I bet it was."

Bella's eyes flashed to mine for a second and before looking down at the ground again. She absentmindedly kicked a small pebble on the ground and I watched it hop across the concrete and land in my path. I casually kicked it back over to her and waited to see if she'd notice. Sure enough, she did.

"You should have gone out for soccer," she laughed, kicking it back over to me one last time.

"I thought about it, but I always enjoyed football more." I walked to the back of my car and loaded the luggage into the trunk. "Plus I got to play with Emmett."

Unlocking Bella's door, I held it open for her. She paused, half way in and looked up at me. "You guys were always so close. I envied that you know."

Her statement shocked me. "Really?" I leaned forward resting my arms on the door.

"Yeah, I mean I never had any siblings. I always wondered what it would have been like," she shrugged her shoulders in a childlike manner. I could almost imagine a five year old Bella begging her mother for a baby sister or brother.

"You can borrow mine anytime you want. But he will require that your Rock Band skills be improved upon."

Her jaw dropped at my statement but she didn't say anything as she climbed into the car. I laughed to myself as I walked around to my side.

"I wasn't _that_ bad." She defended as soon as I got in. "I just get frustrated when I can't do something."

"Frustrated? Bella if I remember correctly you growled."

"I did not!"

"Oh yes you did. Should I call Emmett so he can back me up on this?" I reached into my pocket and pretended to make a call on my cell phone.

"No!" She reached over the console and grabbed for my phone. Her dark hair brushed against my face and I found myself inhaling. I couldn't quite describe the scent but I'd forever mark it as hers. I swallowed thickly and sat back easily giving in as she wrenched my phone from my fingers. Her laughter filled my car but it sounded like I was underwater. The blood pulsing heavily in my ears drowned out everything else and the physical pull I felt for her at the moment was so strong it overwhelmed me.

Words were said in laughter but I couldn't focus on them. I tried desperately to pretend I was listening and I laughed as best I could while I started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot.

It took exactly 4.3 miles for my heart rate to steady and the tightness in my chest to dissipate. Thankfully I was able to carry on a conversation while all this was happening. After all it would have been embarrassing to try and explain my need to pull over on the side of the road and collect myself after a simple playful interaction. Well, to explain or to attack her, neither of which would be a good idea.

Instead I attempted to keep the conversation going. I asked questions about Phoenix and her work and was surprised when she told me she was in a bit of a writing rut, so to speak. I could tell it was something that bothered her and I wished there was something I could say to fix it, but I knew there wasn't. So I settled for asking her what she had so far, what ideas were floating around in her head.

"You really want to hear about it?"

"Yes, I do." I said honestly. It shouldn't surprise me that I was always so eager to learn more about her. It was like, I could never get enough. No matter what I knew, it would never be enough.

She was hesitant at first, whether she was worried about what I'd think or just nervous in general I didn't know. But eventually she opened up. She told me basic outlines and plots she'd come up with and expanded on the ones I had questions about. I noticed all of them had a romantic undertone and that didn't surprise me.

"Something tells me you have a soft spot for a good old fashion romance."

Even in the minimal light flowing in from outside, I could see her cheeks flush red. "As a matter of fact, yes. Is there something wrong with that?" Her defensive tone made me smile.

"Not at all. Who is your favorite?"

She didn't waist a second before responding, the answer quick on her tongue. "Austen. There are loads of others but she's always a safe bet."

"Well I'm sure Miss Austen would have loved to save stayed at a place like this." I nodded out the window and slowed the car.

"Wow, it's beautiful," she breathed.

"Yes it is." I looked at her face, eyes wide with excitement, smile playing at the corners of her full lips. She was indeed beautiful.

As if a bell rang in my head, it hit me. _I have to ask her, now. _With surprising clarity and calmness I pulled the car over to the side of the road.

I'd thought about what to say, how to ask, on so many occasions but I never settled on a decision. Now that the time was here it seemed all I could do is just lay it out there.

"Hey Bella, I've been meaning to ask you something."

She turned away from her window and looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Yeah?"

"I've been thinking about it for a while and I just…I mean," I paused and ran my fingers through my hair. "What I'm saying, or asking. No, what I'm wondering is if. God this is ridiculous." Bella searched my face, trying to make sense of my jumbled mess.

_Spill it Cullen. Ask her. _I took a deep breath and tried again. "I want to ask you something and I just…I _don't_ want things to change and ruin our friendship." She didn't say a word so I continued. "When I read the script for Angel at Dusk I couldn't help but notice. I mean it seems a little more obvious now but at the time I wasn't completely sure." I took a deep breath. "He's me isn't he? Andrew."

Her eyes grew wide but again she didn't say anything. "I just wanted to know how much of what you wrote was based on the truth? Did you…_do_ you feel that way?" I fought for the right words to say, hoping she'd understand. If she wanted to be more, than I wanted to be more. I closed my eyes and gathered my courage. "Because Bella if you do I--"

"No," she blurted. I mean, yes he is based on you but not in the way you may be thinking. We were friends, Edward. I wanted to write a book and I needed a friendship that was real. It just seemed perfect," she shrugged with a nerves laugh. "It's one of the great things about fiction."

I listened, and for a second I felt like I was sixteen all over again. I could almost see the hallway around me and hear the sound of the voices filling the halls. Bella's words rang through my ears, and cut through my heart. _We're just friends. We don't belong together. _

I blinked and in an instant it was gone. But the hollow feeling in my chest remained.

I looked down into her eyes, hoping that maybe I was reading her wrong. But the only thing I saw was honesty. There was no way to know for sure, all I could do was trust in her answer. The problem was, now that I knew the truth I wasn't entirely sure I liked it.

Bella sat before me, biting her lip a look of worry and concern etched in every line. Why she was so distraught I couldn't be sure.

"You're not angry are you?" She asked finally, dropping her head.

_Angry? She thought I was angry with her?_

"No, God no. I'm not angry. But why didn't you ever tell me?"

Her hands twisted in her lap. "Because I didn't want you to get the wrong idea. We were friends…are friends. And like you just said, I don't want things to change."

"They won't Bella. Don't worry." I placed my hand on hers and offered a gentle squeeze. "I guess it's good that I got cast in the role huh?" I joked, hoping to lighten the current mood. "No one is as qualified to play me better than me."

"You're right. It is a good thing."

She smiled up at me and I smiled back, finding that I had to force it upon my face. I still had questions, things I wanted to know and yet I couldn't focus my brain enough to ask them. I knew the most important answer and that's what's mattered.

Looking away I put the car back in drive and pulled up to the entrance of the hotel. I popped the trunk and didn't hesitate as I climbed out of the car into the cool night air. The bellhop met me before I could even lift the bags out and took them in his possession.

"I'll get those, sir."

I mumbled a thank you and walked around to where Bella was standing.

"What time do you leave tomorrow?"

"One o'clock. Jacob's picking me up for an early lunch and then we'll head over."

His name hit me with a jolt and I realized that no matter what her response had been there was still someone else involved, someone who made her happy. I forced my thoughts to stay positive and told myself that we were still friends.

_Nothing has changed. We're friends and things can go back to the way they were. _

I ignored the voice that echoed in my mind telling me I was wrong and shoved my hands in my pockets, looking down at Bella. "I guess I'll see you pretty soon right?" I asked. "When do you think you'll come to the set?"

"Umm I'm not sure. I have Alice's wedding is in a month and a half so it would be after that."

"Cool. Make sure to let me know this time." I teased.

"Sure, sure. Although something tells me you'd find out anyway."

I laughed with a head nod. She was right, I would.

Fearing the silence that I could feel creeping in I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around her, just as I'd done earlier today. And just like earlier, warmth spread through my arms, down my back and along my legs. Deep within me something flipped over and my pulse thickened. I let my hands find the small of her back and kept her there a moment longer than perhaps I should have.

After a moment took a step away and allowed my fingers to move from her back, to her arms as they unwrapped from my waist.

"I'll be in touch." I forced one last smile and waited for her smile of confirmation before I turned around and climbed back into my car, leaving behind the comfort of the one person who was my home away from home.

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**Oh boy....**

**Don't hate me. Just ****have a little faith. **

**I'd love to hear your thoughts, please leave a review!!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Author Notes:** Look! An update in under a month! Shocking right? heh. Thank you for all of your reviews after the last chapter. Even though there is a ton of Bella hate and even some hate for me I really do appreciate your feedback. Hopefully this chapter will give you a better insight into what Bella is feeling.

Special Thanks to my AMAZING BETA shwriteme who makes everything sparkly and pretty. Her story was nom'd for a Indie and I know she deserved it. Go check out her story (it's under my fav's) and ummm....be prepared to melt into a puddle.

Also, I've been getting a lot of questions regarding the rating of this story. So I'm going to say this now so I don't have to say it later. This story is rated **M**. If you've read my other story you know that it had that rating as well, and there was a reason for it. There is also a reason this story has that rating. But I'm not going to warn you before hand so consider this your warning.

Disclaimer: Don't own.

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**BPOV **

_Breathe in, stay calm. Breathe out._

I stared down at the cream tile floor, flecked with gold, and focused on the air pulling in and out of my lungs. I was fairly certain that I was having a conversation with Rosalie in an elevator but the words coming out of her mouth barely registered. I "hmm'd" and nodded my head and tried to pay attention but it was impossible. Edward was standing less than three feet away from me--of course it was impossible. His smell surrounded me--the clean scent that I remembered so clearly even after all these years.

"I'm so glad they kept that scene in. When you convert a novel to screen you lose so much I bet it's hard to decide what scenes are imperative to the story line. Did you get any say in it?"

Rosalie's question hung in the air and I knew my answer would require more than a nod. Lifting my eyes up, I turned and met her inquisitive royal blue ones.

"Somewhat. I worked with the screenwriter a lot, telling her what parts I felt needed to be included."

I was surprised at how easy it was for me to discuss the screenplay in Edwards's presence. Granted it took me a few hours to feel that way but nonetheless I was doing it. Perhaps it was because I was in _professional mode_.

Over the years I'd perfected talking about my book and being able to distance myself from the reality of it. It was like I could put on a mask and be someone else. I could talk about Kate's pain and heartache. I could discuss the way they found true love at such a young age and how it could be real. And I could pretend that she wasn't me. It was sometimes shocking how easy it was for me to lie and say that she wasn't based on anyone I knew. Nine years of practice made it easy. Only on rare occasions did I find myself slipping--like during Esme's book club discussion. And that was no doubt because of where I was--in Edward's house, sitting near his piano, looking at pictures of him. That was definitely one place I couldn't escape the truth and I know that I let my carefully built façade waver.

"…can't wait to talk to Jane about today's meeting." Rosalie adjusted her bag from one shoulder to the next as the elevator came to a stop and the doors pinged open.

"I'm looking forward to meeting her." I smiled and took a step out into the lobby. As soon as I did, I remembered I didn't have a ride. My mind was so busy during the meeting that I didn't have time to think about what I'd do once it was over. It would be easy for me to ask Edward but I felt hesitant. After all I had no clue if he arrived with Rosalie. I immediately stopped my train of thought and refused to think of the implications of that comment. There were no reports stating they were dating and, even if they were, I knew I shouldn't believe everything I read. I wanted to ask him but was terrified to ask and even more terrified to know the answer.

Realizing that I needed to call a cab I took a quick look around and noticed the desk near the front entrance. I didn't get more than three feet before I felt a warm hand grasping my arm, pulling me back.

"My car is this way," Edward said, not letting go of my arm.

I turned around half way and met his eyes. "Yes and I need to call a cab."

"Bella," he said my name and that was all it took. He could have said that he was going to lock me in a dark basement for the next week and I still would have agreed to anything he said.

I couldn't be upset with him though. I felt giddy knowing that I'd get to spend the next however long it took to get to the hotel with him, in his car, at close proximity. My internal body temperature clicked up a notch and my mind ran wild for a second.

Rosalie asked something about Edward being a gentleman and I mumbled a "yes" while still in my daydream.

Then as if the scene played out in slow motion she took a step forward. I watched through glazed eyes as she placed her hand in Edwards and, just as quickly as my happy haze had come, it fled, and everything was clear. My stomach dropped and I swear my heart stuttered to a stop. Her hand gave his a squeeze and, even though the motion was innocent, I felt the personal meaning behind it.

Like flipping through an old memory book my mind raced back until I was standing in the halls of my high school. My thoughts and feelings were fresh in my mind, as were the sounds of shoes scuffing down the shiny commercial grade hallways. I could almost smell the scent of young adolescent sweat and contraband candy.

_**8 years ago**_

"So are you going to ask him?" Angela had leaned against the lockers and waited patiently while I'd shoved the last of my books in my bag.

"I don't' know. He's been acting a little, I don't know--off lately," I mumbled. Even I was having a hard time understanding the almost sudden difference in the way Edward had been acting.

"Off?"

"Yeah, that's the best way to describe it. The past two months has been… I don't know. It's just stupid, I shouldn't even bother." I dropped my book bag in frustration and switched my English book for my US history, attempting to blow off this entire conversation.

Angela didn't waver; she knew what I was trying to do. "Bella." Her voice sounded oddly parental and I looked up at her.

"What if he looks at me like I've grown a second head or something?" I asked, feeling the wave of self doubt wash over me, cold and unwelcome.

"He's your friend. He wouldn't do that."

"And what about the rumors?"

"You're kidding right?" She paused. When I didn't say anything she realized I was being serious. "Just because there's rumors going around that Tanya Denali is interested doesn't mean you should take a step back."

With defeat, I gave up my struggle and zipped my bag shut, holding the oversized history book in my hands. "Okay." I sighed. "I'll ask him. But if he starts acting weird I'm bailing."

"He won't act weird. Besides, it's going to be a group of us. It's not like we're going to be separating off in couples or anything." She rolled her eyes and tried to act casual. But I knew, just as she did that there was something more to her simple statement. Separating into couples would mean that she ended up with Tyler and not with Ben, who she would like to end up with--even if she didn't admit it to anyone.

"Yeah." I nodded, trying to appease her. "I doubt we'd break up into couples. I mean that's why we're going in a group right? So we avoid that whole awkward _we're on a date_ thing."

"Yeah...yes…totally. That's what the group thing is for." Angela pulled at the straps of her book bag and shuffled her feet back and forth. I smiled, mostly to myself. It was great having a friend who was just as unsure as me sometimes. "So you'll ask him to come?" She looked up hopeful.

I bit down on my lip, hesitating for a second before nodding. "Yep, I'll ask him next period." Angela smiled at me as I kicked my locker shut with the toe of my sneaker. I smiled back but it didn't keep the butterflies from taking flight in my stomach. Now that I made my decision to actually ask Edward out I wasn't sure what the next step was.

_Well clearly the next step is to talk to him and ask him out. _I rolled my eyes at obvious stupidity of it all. I knew what I had to do but it was easier said than done.

_It's not like you're confessing your love for him. You're just going to ask him out. A group date even. How bad can that be? _

I kept quiet as we walked side by side down the hallway. My mind raced with possible things to say, things that would seem casual and easy going. Things that wouldn't let him see how completely in love with him I was. The last thing I wanted was to come across like the dopey girl that had a huge a crush on her friend and couldn't even speak in front of him.

_You can do this Bella. It's no big deal. _

Just as we rounded the corner Angela spoke up, breaking into my silent pep talk.

"Do you think I should just wear jeans? I mean, you're gonna wear jeans right?"

I didn't get a chance to respond because ten feet in front of us, leaning against his locker was Edward. And right in front of him was Tanya Denali, a vision of gold hair and long legs.

My feet slowed, as I watched the two of them talking. Something that Edward said must have been funny because Tanya leaned forward laughing and placed her hand on his forearm. She stayed close and smiled up at him, her teeth perfect and white. I waited for Edward to move away, to take a step back and shut his locker but he didn't. Instead he smiled back and let her hand slip from his arm to his hand.

A jolt of pain whipped through me, sharp and stinging. I blinked rapidly, and looked down at the floor. Clenching my fists tight I willed my heart to return to its normal rhythm and pleaded with my eyes to stay dry. It wasn't until I felt Angela's hand touch my shoulder that I looked up.

"Bella." She whispered her voice sounding as sad and pitiful as I felt.

I shook my head a few times, hoping to discourage her from saying anything else. One look in my eyes and I knew she understood.

Without saying a word she had walked with me to class and still didn't speak when I buried my face into my folded arms. Even behind closed eyes I had seen the image of Edward and Tanya walking hand and hand and I knew at that moment that things had changed. I'd lost my chance.

_**Present Day**_

At the sound of Rosalie's voice I quickly came back to the present, my head spinning. It took me a second to catch on to the words that were coming out of her mouth. She expressed her happiness at meeting me and how she was looking forward to seeing me again. Her smile was friendly and honest and part of me wished that it wasn't. It would be easier to have harsh feelings against the person who could possibly be interested in the love of your life.

"It was great meeting you too, Rose. I'll see you later." I smiled back at her and tried to make it genuine. I wanted it to be.

With one last smile she turned around and made her way through the lobby--hips swaying, gold hair shimmering. She was just as beautiful in person as on the big screen, maybe even more so.

A ripple of insecurity crawled through me. I tried to force it down but it was impossible to deny. While I was confident in myself, in the women I'd become—intelligent, successful--it was only natural to compare and perhaps have a little doubt. I was after all a women and she was Rosalie Hale.

"Bella?"

I blinked, realizing that Edward was talking to me and looked up at him. "I'm sorry what?"

His eyebrows lifted as he leaned in, inquiring. "I said where are we heading? What hotel are you staying at?"

I could almost feel the warmth of his breath on my face and I had to stop myself from leaning in further so I could smell him, taste him. _Oh God how I wanted to taste him_. At his close proximity I could see the depth and detail of his eyes, a vibrant green that didn't look at all harsh--only soft and inviting. His copper hair was its usual tousled mess but I could tell he needed a haircut with way it curled around his temples and nape of his neck. I was so lost in staring that I'd forgotten he'd asked me a question.

"Oh, yeah. Umm, the Bel-Air." I mumbled in embarrassment for gawking.

I could tell Edward was a little surprised with my response. Grateful that he didn't seem to notice my obvious ogling I explained that the hotel wasn't my idea.

Alice had made the arrangements for me, against my better judgment, stating the need to indulge myself. Over the years I'd grown comfortable with splurging on purchases and spending money on quality items but out of habit I still squirmed a little thinking of spending so much for a hotel that I'd only be in for a night. As usual I gave in to Alice's selection and had a feeling I wouldn't regret it.

"The Bel-Air is beautiful," he assured. "I'd say she picked a good one to experience."

I smiled up at him, knowing that Alice would love the compliment. "I'll make sure to tell her."

Since we were on the topic of Alice, Edward asked how the wedding was going and how the groom was holding up. It was easy conversation but I found that trying to explain the relationship that Alice and Jasper shared was harder than I thought. They always knew they belonged together.

"Watching them fall in love was…amazing." I explained. And for the first time I felt envious of the undeniable connection hey shared.

"I bet it was." The longing tone of Edward voice made me look up, and I wondered if maybe I imagined it.

_Stop over-reacting Bella. He's just making conversation. _Inwardly rolling my eyes at myself I kicked a rock out of my path, and watched it skip across the concrete. It came to a stop in front of Edward and was swiftly kicked back to me.

Laughing, I stumbled along to return it. "You should have gone out for soccer."

"I thought about it, but I always enjoyed football more. Plus I got to play with Emmett."

Just the mention of Emmett made me smile. He was always so funny and outgoing. I always loved watching he and Edward interacted in high school. There was something about the brotherly bond there shared and from what I'd seen it hadn't changed.

Edward opened the door for me and I placed my foot inside. "You guys were always so close. I envied that you know." I admitted.

"Really?" He smirked, obviously amused by my statement.

"Yeah, I mean I never had any siblings. I always wondered what it would have been like."

"You can borrow mine anytime you want," he said with a laugh. "But he will require that your Rock Band skills be improved upon."

My eyes grew wide and I'm pretty sure my mouth hung open. At a loss for words I simply climbed in the car and waited to gather myself scrambling for some sort of defense. As soon as his door closed I turned to face him in my seat.

"I wasn't _that_ bad. I just get frustrated when I can't do something."

"Frustrated? Bella if I remember correctly you growled."

My cheeks felt warm but I pushed aside my embarrassment. "I did not!" I defended.

"Oh yes you did. Should I call Emmett so he can back me up on this?" His eyebrow arched and he looked at my skeptically. Before I could protest he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

_Oh no he's not!_

Without thinking I dove over the console and grabbed for his phone screaming. He held tight for a moment but eventually gave up. My heart was pounding loudly but I laughed anyway. One of the things I loved about being with Edward was the playful teasing. I didn't realize until this moment how much I missed it.

"I can't believe you were going to call him." I said through a laugh, setting his phone down. "And you know the worst part is that no matter what you'd said he would have believed you. Brothers always do that. They team up against anyone who challenges them."

Edward laughed but kept his eyes on the road. He seemed distracted as he pulled out of the parking lot, playing close attention to the other drivers. The silence hung in the air until finally he seemed to relax enough to answer.

"Yeah well, he _is_ my brother."

"Do you miss him?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

He nodded. "He's always been a great brother. Teased me a bit growing up but it didn't stop us from being best friends."

We spent the next few minutes talking about Emmett and his job. Apparently he wasn't just good and what he did, he was _amazing_ at what he did. I listened as Edward told me of his experiences of working with Emmett during the filming process. All the grueling hours of work he'd put in.

"Speaking of hard work how's the writing going?"

"It's alright," I said with hesitation. "No, that's not true. Actually it's not going very well right now. I'm in a rut and can't seem to find my focus. I'm told it happens but it's never been that way for me." I could feel the heat ease its way over my cheeks. I knew that I shouldn't feel embarrassed about it, but I did.

"Tell me what you're stuck on. What can't you work through? If there is one thing I'm good at its sorting things out." He tapped his finger to the side of his head and smirked.

He couldn't have been more right. I remembered all too clearly how good of a student he was. Certain subjects like English came pretty easily to me but for Edward…well Edward made every subject look easy.

"Are you sure you really want to hear about it?" I couldn't hide the skepticism in my voice or the nerves the shivered through me. My writing was always really personal to me. And even though the most personal story of all was published for the world to read, this felt different. What if he thought my ideas I had were unoriginal and boring?

"Yes, I do." He sounded so honest and looked so sincere that I didn't question him further.

"Alright," I nodded. "Umm well the main outline I'm focusing on is about a girl named Rebecca. She's an only child and lives in a world of sophistication. Her parents are well to do and expect her to live up to certain standards. Go to university, study abroad--make something of herself that the family can be proud of."

I paused briefly and looked over at Edward who was bobbing his head, taking in my every word. With a smile and a deep breath I continued.

I was explaining the third outline and the forbidden love affair between the two lead characters when Edward spoke up.

"Something tells me you have a soft spot for a good old fashion romance."

My blush was instant and I prayed to God he didn't see it. Then again, why was I embarrassed? There was nothing wrong with romance. Some of the best classics held tales of romance and first love. I lifted my chin. "As a matter of fact, yes. Is there something wrong with that?" I challenged.

"Not at all." He smirked. "Who is your favorite?"

"Austen." I said without hesitation but felt the butterflies flutter as I looked at him. His face was so perfect, the lines so strong and angled. And the smirk that played on his lips made my stomach tighten. I swallowed the hunger that had nothing to do with food and continued in my defense. "There are loads of others but she's always a safe bet."

"Well I'm sure Miss Austen would have loved to have stayed at a place like this." His eyebrows raised and he peered out the car window.

I followed his line of sight and almost gasped. It looked like something out of a fairy tale and I suddenly knew what Alice was talking about when she said it was secluded. It was staring to get dark out but there was no mistaking the impressive grounds. Everywhere I looked was green, splashed with color from various flowering plants. I could barely make out the roof tops peeking out from over the giant palms.

"Wow, it's beautiful."

"Yes it is."

I felt myself smile as I considered calling Alice as soon as I got checked in. She'd be so excited to hear every last detail, no doubt down to the very color of towels they had in my room.

"Hey Bella," Edward said softly pulling me out of my thoughts. "I've been meaning to ask you something."

I turned to look at him and, as soon as I did, I knew something was wrong. "Yeah?" I asked--worry creeping in to my voice.

"I've been thinking about it for a while and I just… I mean what I'm saying, or asking. No, what I'm wondering is if. God this is ridiculous."

He ran his fingers through his hair and stumbled through his words. Fear prickled up my spine and warning bells started ringing in my head. He was clearly struggling and I wanted to tell him to just take a breath but I couldn't. Afraid my own voice would waver in asking I stayed quiet and waited for him to continue.

"I want to ask you something and I just…I _don't_ want things to change and ruin our friendship."

_Oh God, oh God, Oh God. _The bells that were once a warning were now pounding through my head, shaking my entire frame. I knew what he was going to ask and I had to fight to keep my focus. I saw his lips moving but couldn't hear him. Then with one deep breath he paused and everything froze, the ringing in my head stopped and the car fell silent.

"He's me isn't he? Andrew."

I knew I couldn't hide the shock, couldn't hide the way my eyes were surely bulging out of my head. My tongue felt thick and I couldn't form the words to speak.

"I just wanted to know how much of what you wrote was based on the truth. Did you…_do_ you feel that way?"

I tried to breath and when I did it hit me. The sadness, the worry, the fear. It was etched in every line of his flawless face. His words from before came back and struck me with so much force I felt them rip through my chest. _I don't want things to change and ruin our friendship. _

He didn't want thing to change between us. And the thought that I could possibly have stronger feelings for him, scared him. He was struggling with a way to let me down easy and still attempt to save our friendship, a friendship that he didn't want to lose or have change.

The rejection sliced into my heart and I bit down on my tongue to keep a muffled cry from escaping. The last thing I wanted to do was cause a scene and make things awkward. He was trying his best to explain that he wasn't interested--surely I could keep it together for a few minutes until I was alone. I took a deep breath and forced myself to remain objective. Before letting him continue I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

"No," I said, cutting him off, the lie falling easily from my lips. "I mean, yes he is based on you but not in the way you may be thinking." I took another breath and fisted my hands. _You can do this Bella. Be professional, you've answered questions similar to this a thousand times. _

"We were friends, Edward," I continued, the word burned my throat, making me almost lose control completely. "I wanted to write a book and I needed a friendship that was real. It just seemed perfect. It's one of the great things about fiction." I shrugged and attempted to laugh but stopped when I felt it threaten to slip into a sob.

His eyes met mine and for a second he looked as though he could see right through me. I clamped my jaw tight and refused to show the hurt I felt. I wanted him in my life and if I could only have him in this small capacity then I'd take it. I wouldn't let things change, especially now that I knew how he felt.

_How could I be so stupid? How could I let myself think that this time would be any different than in high school_? _We could only be friends then and we can only be friends now. _I could only hope that he wasn't mad at me for keeping things from him.

"You're not angry are you?" I asked.

"No--God no. I'm not angry. But why didn't you ever tell me?"

Swallowing back the words I wanted to say I settled for a half truth. "Because I didn't want you to get the wrong idea. We were friends…are friends. And like you just said, I don't want things to change."

"They won't Bella. Don't worry."

He placed his hand on mine trying to offer comfort which only made it sting more. His promise that things would never change burned inside me, branding itself into my heart.

"I guess it's good that I got cast in the role huh?" he laughed, easily. "No one is as qualified to play me better than me."

"You're right. It is a good thing." I nodded while plastering a smile on my face.

He looked slightly hesitant and I wondered if he was thankful to have it all out in the open. To know that he'd set the record straight and still had the promise that our friendship would remain in tact.

Casually putting the car into drive, he pulled up to the front entrance. Without saying a word he stepped out of the car. The door closed with a click and I felt one clink in my armor waver.

_A few more minutes Bella, just a few more minutes. _I swiped at a tear that escaped the corner of my eye and straightened my back. With solid resolve I opened the door and stepped out just as Edward made it around.

"What time do you leave tomorrow?"

"1:00. Jacob's picking me up for an early lunch and then we'll head over."

I answered his question and stood with locked knees, a silent chant in my head giving me strength._ Come on-- keep it together. You're not going to lose it. No tears, no tears. _

"I guess I'll see you pretty soon right? When do you think you'll come to the set?"

"Umm I'm not sure. I have Alice's wedding is in a month and a half so it would be after that."

"Cool. Make sure to let me know this time." He teased.

"Sure, sure." I nodded using Jake's casual response for everything. "Although something tells me you'd find out anyway."

He laughed and knew I had him pegged. Then without any warning he took a step toward me. I almost pulled back. I wasn't prepared to have his arms wrapped around me or the feelings that I was sure would overwhelm me. But I couldn't stop him, even if I knew it would hurt later. I let his long arms circle my waist and settle on my lower back. The warmth of his hands soaked through my cotton shirt and for a moment I could almost imagine how they'd feel on my bare flesh, exploring and kneading.

All too soon his hands were gone and an empty chill filled my hollow stomach.

"I'll be in touch," he said with one last smile before turning away and climbing into his car.

The warm night air blew my hair into my face as I watched him drive away. It wasn't until I swept it aside that I noticed my cheeks were damp with tears. I quickly wiped them away, knowing that once I started I wouldn't be able to stop.

_You still have him as a friend Bella. _I reminded myself. I hoped the words would be a balm to the ache that was gnawing through me but they weren't.

Rolling my shoulders back I took a claming breath, told myself for the hundredth time to keep it together and walked through the front doors. I was aware that the lobby was absolutely stunning. Warm colors, opulent chandeliers, large potted plants and flowers that brought part of the outside, in, but it couldn't hold my attention. All I craved was the quiet of my room, the darkness of the night.

I gave the necessary information and was eventually led to my room. I vaguely heard words detailing the hotel and its many amenities as we walked through the halls but they fell on silent ears. With every step that brought me closer to my room I felt my composure slipping and by the time my door was opened I could hardly manage a garbled thank you to the bell hop. Not bothering to turn on the lights I scrambled across the room and crawled into bed where I let my tears, my heartache and the night, swallow me whole.

…..

"Shh, its okay, it's okay. Just tell me how it happened." Alice ran her fingers through my hair and down my back as I sobbed into her lap.

"I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't. One minute I thought it was all going to finally come out and then he said--he said that he didn't want things to change. He didn't want to lose my friendship," my breathing hitched and I gasped for a breath. "Alice you should have seen the look in his eyes. I didn't know what to say so I just--I just lied."

Just thinking about it, brought back a wave of pain and I could do nothing to stop it. I thought that after spending a night crying I'd be dried of tears but as soon as I saw Alice I broke.

"And Jacob," I continued. "He took one look at me this afternoon and he _knew_ something happened. He was so angry I thought for sure he was going to punch someone."

"Did you tell him?"

Stifling another sob I shook my head. "If I told him I'd have to tell him everything. And that means he'd know. Alice I can't let him know that I loved someone else while I was with him."

"But you loved him too, Bella. In your own way you did."

"I know…I just…" Not needing me to explain further Alice pulled me to her, trying to offer what comfort she could.

I stayed like this, wrapped in the comfort of my best friend's arms until my living room glowed orange from the setting sun. My sobs quieted down and I was left dry, my lids heavy with exhaustion.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah," my voice was hoarse, my throat sore.

"Good because now I'm going to talk." At the tone of her voice I sat up and looked at her in wonder. She stood and began pacing back and forth. Finally she stopped and looked at me with her hands placed firmly on her hips.

"Isabella Marie Swan what were you thinking? You lied to him. You had the perfect opportunity to finally tell him everything and you _lied_!"

My mouth hung open. I didn't know what to say. "I…I tried--"

"No, no. I'm not done yet," she said holding up her hand. "You are my best friend. I love you like the sister I never had, but Bella that was your _chance_. You've wanted to tell him for years and when faced with the opportunity to do it you didn't."

"Alice he doesn't want me like that. He's so worried about losing the friendship that we have…"

"Which sounds like someone else I know," she said looking down at me. "Look, you keep saying that you don't want to ruin what you guys have, this "friendship" that you've rekindled, but Bella, is that really what you want?"

"If that's the only way we can--"

"No, answer me. What do _you_ want Bella?"

I swallowed down the emotion I felt bubbling to the surface and looked up at her. "Him," I said simply.

"And do you honestly think you can have _him_ as just a friend and be happy if it's never more than that? I know you and I know you'll always want more. And you'll never know that you can't have it unless you talk to him."

"Alice, he basically said--"

"I'm not talking about what you think he was saying, or did say. Bottom line is you weren't honest with him. And until you are you'll never know how he really feels. Give him that chance Bella. Even if he doesn't want more, let him make that choice with _all_ of the facts."

I opened my mouth to say something, but was again cut off, yet again.

"You don't have to say anything, or defend your reasons to me. I just want you to think about what I've said. You've got to decide if having Edward as your friend and nothing more is worth the heartache."

Closing my jaw with an audible snap I nodded my head. I knew that Alice was right, she normally was. And for some reason hearing her put things that way made me think.

So that's exactly what I did. I thought about it.

I thought about her words while we ate pizza that night and vegged out in front of the TV. I thought about it the next morning while I lay in bed and relived the moment in front of the hotel, the moment where I felt Edwards's arms around me and didn't want to let him go. I thought about it as the hours of another day swept by and I still hadn't heard from him.

I thought about it so much that I could nothing else.

"He said he'd be in touch. He said _he'd_ be in touch with me." I walked around my living room, circling my oval coffee table talking to myself. "That means _he'll_ be the one who makes contact first. Right?"

With an exhausted sigh I slumped down in my couch, burying my face into my plush chocolate brown pillows. My entire day was spent cleaning, a brain numbing, mindless task, and the scent of pine sol and lemon pledge was still heavy in the air.

Three days. It had been three days since I'd had contact with Edward and it was slowly eating away at me. I thought that we'd left things on a positive note with the promise of our 'friendship' remaining the same but now I wasn't so sure. _What if he decided it was too weird after all? _

On top of the anxiety that was brewing my mind was a jumbled mess. I was no closer to knowing what to do than I was earlier. My initial response of course was to say yes. Yes, I'd be fine having Edward as only my friend. I was after all used to that arrangement. I'd done it through out all of high school why couldn't I do it now? Before I had time to analyze and come up with an answer my phone beeped.

I quickly flipped over and found myself meeting the hardwood floor with a solid thump. Ignoring the pain, I crawled over to the coffee table and grabbed my phone. With fumbling fingers I unlocked my keypad and there, in simple black letters was his name.

_**How was the stay at Bel Air? Did u tell Alice she chose well? -E**_

At even the mention of the Bel Air my stomach dropped. How was I to tell him that that night was one of my most painful?

_Friends Bella. Be his friend. _I reminded myself. And with a smile responded.

_**The hotel was beautiful. Wish I had more time there. Yes, I told Alice and she's jealous. I wouldn't be surprised if she drags Jasper off to LA just to stay there. **_

A few seconds later he messaged back.

_**They could always honeymoon here. Not as peaceful as Tahiti but we do have palm trees and pretty beaches. –E**_

_**Somehow I don't think she'd go for it. Although they did have nice towels. **_

_**What color? -E**_

It was such a simple question but for some reason I felt my cheeks get warm. _Get a grip Bella. He's asking about towels. Not what you're wearing. _

_**A light creamy yellow. Very soft. **_

I bit on my lower lip until it practically bled while waiting for a response.

_**In that case, I may have to arrange a stay. –E**_

_See Bella, innocent question. _With a shake of my head I ignored my previous thought and asked him how work was going. Turned out he had a press junket coming up soon from the movie he finished filming right before Thanksgiving.

When our texting ended about ten minutes later I felt even more certain that I'd be able to keep him in my life as a friend. _I wouldn't feel this happy if I couldn't, right?_

It took me almost two weeks to realize I was wrong.

With every email, every text, every five minute phone call, the pain in my chest ached a little more. But it didn't stop me from looking forward to them like a masochist. I spent more time anxiously waiting to hear from him, and when I did I was so happy I felt as if I'd burst. The euphoria would last for a little while and then the emptiness of knowing what couldn't be, what never would be, began to slowly seep in.

"I'm not sure I can do it Alice." I whispered, interrupting our conversation of seating arrangements while Alice received her final fitting.

"What?" She spun around, sending the full skirt of her gown swinging like a bell. I looked up at her, a vision in white raw silk that hung perfectly on her small frame.

"You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. And I'm not just saying that because I love you."

She placed her hand to her chest in the moment of sincerity but removed it just as quickly. "Thank you, but you're not going to distract me with compliments."

"I wasn't trying to distract you. I was just stating the obvious."

"Alright." She gathered her skirts in her hands and took a step off the pedestal before plopping down next to me. "Talk to me."

I took a calming breath and told her how I'd been feeling. How I'd told myself that I could handle the heartache and the sadness.

"I thought that if I could just have him as a friend then everything else would fall into place. Eventually things would get better and I would move on." Hearing myself say the words out loud was like shining a bright light on the obvious. The truth rang clear and I couldn't deny it anymore. I felt the familiar prick of tears in my eyes and immediately felt Alice's arms around me. "I couldn't have been more wrong, Alice. I can't do it."

"Then tell him," she said confidently, knowing it was my only option.

Fear trickled up my spine and a knot of panic twisted in my gut but this time I pushed it aside. I didn't know what I'd say or how he'd react but I knew I couldn't keep living like this.

Swallowing thickly I nodded my head. "Yeah, I'll tell him."

* * *

**Well....now we're getting somewhere....**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts!!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Author Note: I know I know. It's been forever. Writers Block and real life can suck sometimes. Anyway, thank you for all the support and PM's. You guys are the BEST! **

**Special Thanks: My fabulous Beta shwriteme who is just AMAZING and makes me better. I love her. feathersmmmm for kickin me in my colon and making me finish this chapter (srsly she did) Mommyofboth and ECyesplease for letting me bounce ideas off of them and umm...5 days ladies. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own. **

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**Chapter 16**

**EPOV**

_I was dreaming. I knew I was dreaming, had to be. The colors were too brilliant, the smells in the air too delicious, and then there was the person standing in front of me--Bella. She stood silent, staring, with a smirk playing on her full red lips. Her hair was dark as a mink's coat and wet, as it hung around her bare shoulders, dripping small droplets of water onto the hardwood at her feet. And she was wrapped in nothing but a towel, soft and yellow. Her pale, damp skin glistened in the flicker from the candlelight. _

_She was beautiful. The slope of her neck, the delicate line of her collarbone begged to be licked and I could feel the saliva pooling in my mouth in anticipation. The smooth skin on the curve of her breasts pushed against the confines of the plush cotton as I watched her breathing grow heavy. _

_I silently pleaded with the voice of reason in my head, begging to not let this dream end. Because the way she was looking at me, the way my body felt alive and on fire was something I'd never felt before. I took a step toward her and waited to see if she'd move away from me. She didn't. Without a word I closed the distance between us and in one sweeping motion had her in my arms. _

_The tips of her hair dripped cold water on my hands but all I could feel was her warmth. Her scent enveloped me until all I saw was her, all I felt was her. Leaning in I trailed my lips along her jaw and followed the natural path of her neck down to her shoulder. Desperate to taste her soft skin I parted my lips and slowly slipped my tongue over her flesh. An almost silent purr of pleasure vibrated from her throat, the sound alone enough to bring me to my knees. _

_I gripped the yellow towel in my fingers, fighting off the frantic need I had to rip it from her body. _

"_Please," she pleaded with a whisper. Without a moment's hesitation I pulled it away--and as I did, she disappeared. _

I woke up stifling a groan of frustration as I attempted to roll over. My dream left me so hard that I found it almost impossible to move.

"Damn yellow towel," I moaned into my pillow, annoyed that I'd let it slip into my unconscious thoughts yet again.

I never thought that asking a simple question about a towel would turn me into teenager again. But it had. Ever since Bella commented about the towels at her hotel I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Or should I say the vision of her naked body wrapped in one out of my mind.

At the time it didn't seem like a big deal yet I couldn't stop myself from asking what color it was, couldn't stop myself from storing the little detail away for later use. And now that little bit of information was working itself into my dreams every night. Sometimes the dream was different. She wasn't always standing there waiting for me. Sometimes she was lying on the bed, or sitting on a stool, or sneaking up behind me.

There were however, two constants. The towel was one of them. It was always yellow, always soft, and always short, hanging right below the curve of Bella's ass. And the second constant was Bella. She was always wet.

I shut my eyes and let my mind fill with the last vision I'd had of her. The way she whispered and pleaded with me. How badly I wanted her, all of her. And how desperately I wanted to _show_ her how she was wanted.

Realizing that my thoughts were doing nothing to help with my situation I pushed myself up from my bed and headed for the bathroom. Once under the stream of hot water it only took a few minutes of stroking and visualizing a half naked Bella, flushed and begging, for me to take care of business.

I laughed to myself as I got out and dried off. I really did feel like a teenager, considering I hadn't jerked off to the visual of Bella since I was in high school. And just like high school I was frustrated with our relationship, or lack thereof. Unfortunately Bella always saw me as just a friend. Even the times when I'd thought maybe there was more, I'd ended up being wrong. And I'd never acted on it--something always stopping me before I got that far. But this time was different. I felt different.

Her words outside of the Bel Air Hotel a few weeks ago hit me with more force than I'd expected. The disappointment of her denial weighed on me heavily. I had spent the next few days thinking them over and eventually came to the conclusion that just because she didn't see me as more than a friend now didn't mean she couldn't. And even though a voice in the back of my mind reminded me that I wasn't good for her, that I shouldn't even attempt to bring her into the world I lived in, to subject her to the scrutiny that would accompany it, I couldn't fight the desire--the need that started so long ago. I'd expected it to fade with time and distance, but it hadn't. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to spend time with her and make her laugh. I wanted to hold her and, damn it, I wanted more than anything to just kiss her. I wanted her. No matter how complicated or hard it would be.

_Of course it's pointless if she's involved with Jacob_. I reminded myself, trying to ignore the nausea his name inflicted. He seemed like a nice guy and clearly she was comfortable around him. But it didn't stop me from wishing he wasn't in the picture.

I spent the rest of the morning reading through some paperwork that Marcus had sent over and making some phone calls. An hour later I was on the phone with Kate, discussing which teams would make up the sweet sixteen for March Madness. Both she and Garrett insisted that Duke would take North Carolina and I was highly doubtful.

"Believe me Duke's is going all the way this year. Have you watched Singler under the basket?"

I rolled my eyes and gave a pitiful laugh. "Yes Kate, I've seen him play. The question is have you seen Hansbrough? His stats are even better than Singlers."

Garrett's voice grew loud in the background and I asked Kate what he was saying.

"He wants to know Emmett's pick."

It shouldn't have surprised me that Emmett would be brought into the conversation. No one could ever argue that Emmett didn't know sports. It was in his blood.

"Emmett thinks it will be Michigan State." I waited and listened as Kate informed Garrett of Emmett's choice and couldn't suppress my laughter when I heard his cackling response. Apparently he didn't think Michigan State had a chance either.

We spoke for a few more minutes about upcoming games before the main subject for our phone call came up.

"We need to go over your schedule for filming Angel at Dusk. I have the specific dates that you'll be needed in Portland and it looks like some of the preproduction stuff starts earlier than we thought. I also spoke with Marcus earlier and he says there have been a few more offers coming in over the past few weeks. I've been playing around with your schedule and I think you can fit a few things in this week."

My mind started to wander at the mere mention of Angel at Dusk being filmed in Portland. Of course I knew that was going to happen but for some reason I'd forgotten. They needed a place where the weather was similar to that of the book, or rather, similar to the weather of Forks Washington. _At least we aren't filming in Forks. _That would have been a little too surreal.

"Do you want to meet up for lunch and go over everything or should I just stop by later?" Kate's question cut into my thoughts and I realized I'd missed out on everything she said.

"Uh, no, sorry." I said with a shake of my head. "I mean no, I can't meet over lunch. I'm meeting with Rose and Jane this afternoon."

"Rose?" she said playfully. "So you're calling her Rose now? And since when have you scheduled meetings on your own?"

"This isn't a meeting. I'm just having lunch with my two co-stars, something that I'm more than capable of planning and I call her Rose because she asked me to. And before you ask, no, there's nothing going on between the two of us."

"Which I'm sure Jessica hates."

"You have no idea." I deadpanned. Last week when pictures surfaced of Rosalie and me walking out of the café together Jessica was in publicist heaven. There is nothing like having your number one client matched up with someone like Rosalie, even if it was all a façade.

"Well you can't say she isn't doing her job. And if you have to be paired up with anyone I can think of a lot worse than Rosalie Hale."

There was no need to tell Kate that there was someone I wouldn't mind being paired up with, someone who was even better than Rosalie. So instead I hmm'd in response, hoping she'd drop the subject.

"Okay, so I'll touch base with you later then. Give me a call tomorrow."

I promised her I would and hung up the phone only to hear it beep a second later with a text.

_**Is yoga really supposed to help you relax? Because I just spent the last hour doing everything but relaxing. **_

I found myself smiling as I pictured a frustrated Bella looking around the gym at all the so called, "relaxed" people. Then immediately the image changed and I saw a sweaty Bella, stretching her body in positions that could make a grown man cry. I sighed pitifully and knew that I'd just added another "visual" to my list, right below the yellow towel. Or even better, a visual that combined the two. Bella wrapped in a little yellow towel while doing yoga. That simple thought went straight to my dick and I felt myself get hard. _Great, I'm not even dreaming and I'm having problems controlling myself. _With a deep sigh I responded to her text, attempting to push my current thoughts from my mind.

_**Apparently it is relaxing. And when did u start yoga? **_

I knew I shouldn't continue with the direction of this conversation but I couldn't stop myself. What can I say I'm a masochist?

_**Then I must be doing something extremely wrong. Today was my first class. Alice dragged me along with her. She insists it will be good for me. **_

I typed, deleted, and re-typed my message a few times before finally settling on what to say. The past week I'd been finding it harder to keep my texts platonic. I'd catch myself slipping and typing things that someone who was "just a friend" wouldn't say. Sometimes she would say something flirtatious back and other times she wouldn't. She always left me guessing. _Maybe today she'd play?_

_**She can get you to do almost anything can't she? And I bet you'll end up liking it, although your body doesn't need it.**_

I waited patiently for her response, wondering if she'd even catch my body comment.

_**Yes she can and she knows that. It'll be good for my body. After all you can never be too flexible right??? **_

I swallowed thickly and re read her text. _Flexible?_ The images of a sweaty Bella popped back into my mind and I stifled back a groan. Gathering my thoughts I typed a reply.

_**No, flexibility is a good thing, a very good thing.**_

_**I couldn't agree more. So what are you up to?**_

I felt a spark of excitement when I read her question. I knew that she was anxious to hear more about Jane and after today I'd get a chance to tell her what I thought.

_**Funny you should ask. I'm having lunch with Rose and Jane to discuss the film. **_

_**Really? **_

_**Yes. They might have questions so I'll take notes and ask u later. **_

_**Sounds good. Have fun. **_

_**Thanks. Talk later?**_

_**Yep.**_

Flipping my phone shut I checked the time and realized I better get moving if I wanted to make it to the restaurant in time. I grabbed my hat off my dresser and pulled it on while digging my keys out of my jeans pocket and headed outside.

…..

"I think the scene where Kate finally tells Andrea about her crush on Andrew is the one of my favorites. I'm really excited to film that one."

"Yes." Rosalie sat forward, leaning over the table in excitement. "That was one of my favorite moments of the book too. They have such a great friendship."

I'd been sitting for the last twenty minutes or so listening to Rose and Jane go back and forth, discussing their favorite parts from book and movie. They spoke so passionately about it that it made me smile. I was so proud to be Bella's friend, to really know her. To know the very person who had created these characters that were so clearly loved.

"What do you think Edward?" Jane asked, picking up her lemonade and taking a sip.

"About what?" I looked at Jane realizing I hadn't heard her question.

"Andrew. What do you think about him, of his character? I'm pretty sure it's clear what the entire female population thinks of him. Isabella did a great job creating the perfect man. Of course he was a little thick-headed but he redeemed himself. Either way, I want a guy's take on it. What do you think of him?"

"I like him." I shrugged. "He's your typical male high school student. And even though I agree with you about him being an idiot, I can't help but wonder…" I trailed off lost in thought. I always tried to put myself in the role of the character I was playing. Attempted to get in their mindset and think as they think. It was fairly clear that from reading the script Andrew didn't realize he had true feelings for Kate until after she confessed to him. Then after she told him, things became clear for him. But what if that was wrong? What if Andrew was more like me? What if he felt for Kate what I'd felt for Bella all those years but pushed it aside just as I had?

_Perhaps it will be easier to play Andrew than I thought. _

"Earth to Edward?" Rose's fingers snapped in front of my face and I blinked, coming out of my thoughts.

"I'm sorry. Uhh what was I saying?"

"You were wondering about Andrew," Jane said looking at my face closely.

"That's right." I nodded, still running through my newest theory. "It's just that I can't help but wonder what Andrew was really feeling. I mean we get Kate's side of the story and we know that he feels the same way at one point but what if he felt that way for longer than we all think?"

"What?" Rose was now sitting forward just as Jane was.

"Guys have crushes in high school all the time. What if he liked her more but just never acted on it and pushed the feelings aside for the sake of keeping their friendship, just like she did?" I asked.

Jane's face looked as though it was the most absurd thing in the world. "Why would he do that?"

"Because he was nervous, afraid, knew she wouldn't feel the same way. There are lots of reasons." I said, mentally counting off my own personal reasons for staying quiet.

"Wouldn't Isabella have written that in? When he finally admits his feelings he didn't say anything about that. He said--"

"He said that she'd been his best friend for four years and that he always loved her." Rose said, cutting Jane off mid sentence.

"That's right. He always loved her as a _friend_ and didn't realize until later that it could be more." Jane finished, sitting back satisfied.

"But," Rosalie added, holding up her finger. "Kate assumes that he meant that. I don't think Andrew ever clarifies that the love he felt for her was only on a _friendship_ level. And Kate only focused on the fact that he finally loved her, nothing else. Perhaps if the story was longer we would have found out for sure."

Rose looked at me with one raised eyebrow. "I must say Edward I've never thought of it in that way before. I'd be interested to ask Bella what she thinks."

I nodded but didn't say anything. The conversation easily turned and Jane and Rose were soon talking about the rivalry between their two characters. I wish I could say I listened to every word but I didn't. I couldn't. My mind was still preoccupied with thoughts of Andrew and his character. And I wondered if and how I could do as Rose suggested and ask Bella about it.

……

"So tell me, is this floating off to la la land going to become a habit?" Rose asked as we walked away from the restaurant.

"Excuse me?"

"Look Edward I may not know you that well but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that something's on your mind." She dropped her purse from her shoulder and started rummaging through it. After fishing out her keys she looked back up at me. "You want to talk about it? We could go out tonight. Get a drink? I know this great sports bar."

The smirk that played on her lips sent off warning bells in my head. _Is she asking me out? _I thought back to the other times I'd talked with her. The image of her hand squeezing mine flashed behind my eyes. _Oh. _

"Uh, listen, Rose, I…" I trailed off in a loss of words. I've turned girls down before but it had never been this awkward. I'd be seeing Rose, and most likely hanging out with her and the cast for the next few months. How could I tell her I wasn't interested and keep things comfortable between us? I nervously lifted my hand to my hair and pulled my baseball hat off my head. Fumbling for words I attempted to speak. "I'm flattered but I'm not quite sure that going out would the best--"

Rose's loud throaty laugh cut me off mid sentence. She started to shake her head and looked up at me with watery eyes. Apparently something I said was hysterical.

"Oh, Edward. I'm not asking you out like _that_." She placed her hand on my cheek before running the tips of her fingers through the sides of my hair. "You're a great guy and there's no denying that you're gorgeous but I'm not interested in dating you." The tightness in my chest dissipated immediately and I exhaled. "Besides," she added with a shrug. "You're not really my type."

"And what exactly is your type?" I asked, truly curious.

Her face fell slightly and she looked serious for a second. I wondered if perhaps I'd insulted her. The men she'd dated ranged anywhere from professional athletes to A-list celebrities. From what I could tell her "type" wasn't defined.

"You know Edward; I don't really think I have a type." She finally said, still lost in thought. "Maybe that's my problem." Her voice dropped into an almost whisper. "I don't know what I want."

There was sadness in her voice and there was no mistaking the lost look in her eyes. The uncomfortable twinge that I sometimes felt when I didn't know what to say in an awkward moment was settling in my gut. I knew I should say something but didn't know what.

"How about that drink?" I asked, flashing a smile in hopes of slicing through the unwanted tension.

"That would be great." She returned my smile and placed her hand on my forearm in a gesture of thanks.

The familiar sound of a camera clicking made us both turn. Sure enough a few feet away stood a man hiding behind the long lens of his Nikon, snapping pictures of the two of us.

I quickly dug into my pockets and pulled out my keys, pressing the unlock button. "Hop in, I'll drive."

"Good idea," Rose said walking toward my car. "And then you can tell me all about your type." She paused with one foot in and craned her neck around to look at me. "Something tells me that you prefer pretty brunettes with wide eyes and a talent for writing."

I hesitated for a second. _Was I that obvious? _"I'm pretty sure I know who you are referring too and I will tell you that Bella and I are just friends."

I silently prayed that the tone of my voice wouldn't give me away. The last thing I wanted to do was have this discussion with Rose. Yes, she was nice and I saw myself being friends with her, but I still didn't feel comfortable disclosing my unrequited feelings for Bella.

She spun around and leaned up against the car, folding her arms in front of herself as if preparing for a challenge. "Really, because that's not what I saw."

_Great. _I groaned internally. Apparently I wasn't as good of an actor as I hoped. If Rose saw right through me than surely others would as well. I opened my mouth in attempt, for a second time, to brush off her comment when she spoke up.

"I am, after all, a girl Edward. And I saw the way she was looking at you. That wasn't just friendship."

I stood in shocked silence letting her words register. She wasn't talking about me at all. She was talking about Bella. I wanted to assure her that I knew of Bella's true feelings. That she was only interested in me as just a friend and that from what it looked like Jacob was part of her life. I wanted to tell her she was wrong and that Bella wouldn't lie to me about something like that, especially after I asked her. But I didn't. I couldn't. Because part of me desperately hoped that there was a bit of truth to her statement.

"Look, I know you're a guy and you aren't really capable of discussing things like this." She waved her hand around and looked annoyed but understanding at the same time. "So, I won't press the subject. In fact I'll even switch into guy mode and we can talk about sports." She paused and looked at me, waiting to see if I was okay with her proposition.

I stayed quiet and nodded.

"Okay, so--what about the sweet sixteen?" she asked, grasping for a topic. "Is Michigan State going to kick ass or what?"

"Michigan State?" I nearly guffawed. "What have you been talking to Emmett or something?"

Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Emmett? Who's Emmett?"

I shook my head and continued to laugh as I walked around the car.

"Edward, are you going to answer me? Who's Emmett?" Rose asked again clearly annoyed that I was still laughing at her comment.

Without saying a word I climbed in my car and waited for Rose to follow. When both doors were closed she turned in her seat and glared. I had enough experience with girls to know that pissing them off isn't the best thing.

"Emmett's my brother." I finally said, giving her a smile that I hope showed I was only teasing. "He, like you, seems to think that Michigan State has a shot this year."

"Then your brother is a smart guy." She smirked back, and I knew I'd been forgiven.

"You'll have to tell him you think that. I'm pretty sure he's going to visit Portland while we're there filming."

"He'll be there?" she asked curiously.

I nodded and started the car.

"Well then I'll have to tell him."

I held back a laugh as I thought about Emmett and what his response to meeting Rosalie would be. Something told me that it was going to be a meeting I wouldn't want to miss.

……

True to her word Rose didn't bring up the topic of Bella again but that didn't mean I stopped repeating what she'd said over and over. During our few hours together at the sports bar my mind was split in two separate parts. One side focused on the conversation I was having and the other focused on the meaning behind her words from earlier. I tried to push them away and tell myself I'd think about it later, but it was no use.

_I saw the way she was looking at you. _

_What did that mean? How was she looking at me?_ I found myself lying in bed at night asking myself these questions. I closed my eyes and tried to replay the few hours I'd spent with Bella in LA. It wasn't hard to remember her face, the delicate line of her jaw from her ear to her chin, the way her eyes lit up when she laughed, her mouth watering smell or the way her smile made my heart race. It was easy to picture and yet no matter how hard I focused, I couldn't place anything different. I didn't notice Bella looking at me differently. She looked at me the same way as she always had.

I shook my head and chastised myself for acting like a love struck teenager. After all, Bella told me she didn't feel that way. She assured me we were friends and that she didn't want that to change. So why was I questioning everything?

With a sigh of frustration I rolled over and welcomed sleep. Because in my dreams I would see Bella and there would be no confusion.

Another week passed and, although I stayed busy with work, my questions and Rose's words remained a constant presence in the back of my mind. No matter what I was doing they would flit through my thoughts at random. I fully expected them to fade away but they only grew more persistent.

Bella was constantly on my mind. I thought about her, texted her or emailed her every day. And on the rare occasion where we didn't converse I felt a loss. I was beginning to think it wasn't healthy. I had a little over one week until I'd see her again and I knew that I had to pull myself together if I was going to attempt to act normal around her.

Looking for a distraction from my thoughts I flipped open my phone and read through the last text I'd received from her. She was on her way to a salon with Alice to do a 'trial run on hair.' _Whatever that means_. I could picture her sitting in a large leather chair, her hair up in pins and it made me smile.

_**How did the "trial hair" go?**_

It didn't take more than a few seconds to get a response.

_**Good, but now I have a headache. They must think I'll be taking on a tornado with all the pins they put in. **_

_**From what you've said, Alice is like a tornado. **_

_**She is. Perhaps they're onto something. What are you up to?**_

I looked around my bedroom and realized that I wasn't doing much of anything, besides of course thinking of Bella. I smiled and decided to tell her just that.

_**Just lying in bed wondering what you're doing. **_

_**Laying in bed and thinking of me? Why Edward I had no idea…**_

Pleased that she seemed to be in a playful mood, I smiled and typed back a response.

_**You didn't know I lay around all day and think of you? It's my new job. Dream of Bella, think of Bella, fantasize about Bella, think of Bella some more. I'm thinking of declaring it as my new profession. What do you think?**_

_**I think that sounds like a fabulous idea. What would your job title be?**_

_**Edward Cullen: Bella Swan Specialist. Expert training in the field of all things related to Isabella Marie Swan. Nine years experience with daily continual education. **_

_**Wow, I'm impressed. Do I need to sign something that declares your title? **_

_**Sure, I'll send over the paper work. **_

_**Sounds great. Oh and Edward, I'll need a full description of the dreams and fantasies you're talking about. For professional purposes of course. **_

_**I'll get right on that. **_

_**Good. I'll be looking forward to reading it. **_

_What have I gotten myself into? _I wondered with a laugh. Shaking my head I started to type another response when my phone rang.

My home number popped up on the screen. I'd tried calling earlier but no one answered. It had been a while since I talked to my Mom and I knew I was due for a call home. Plus if there was one person who always had a way of clearing my mind and making me feel better it was her.

"Sweetheart," she crooned, as soon as I answered. "I saw that you called earlier. I was downstairs in the gym and didn't hear the phone. How are you? And how did the photo shoot and interview with People magazine go?"

I laughed. Of course my mom would want to know how it went. She'd been bragging to her friends that her son was going to be featured as one of _The Most Beautiful Males in Hollywood._

"It went great. From what I saw of the pictures they turned out good. I'm sure you'll be proud." I teased.

"I'm always proud of you, honey. You know that." The soft sincerity of her voice made me smile.

I'm sure it's normal for parents to say things like that to their children, but there was something different about the way she said it to me. I believed her, whole-heartedly. There wasn't a speck of doubt in my mind that she was proud of me.

We spent the next few minutes talking about random things. A fundraiser she was heading up in town, a new doctor that just moved into the area and was working closely with Dad. Eventually our conversation turned to my work and what I was up to.

"Now what's on the schedule for the rest of the week? I hope Kate isn't keeping you too busy." She knew just as I did, that Kate was great at her job. Between her, Jessica and Marcus I was more than lucky.

"Not any more than she should be. I've got a few more things to do before I leave for Portland and she'd determined to fit them in."

"Are you excited to start filming?"

"Yeah, I think it'll be fun. I'm excited to work with this cast."

"And does a certain Rosalie Hale have anything to do with that?" I could hear the anxious interest in her voice which she tried to mask.

"Rose is nice. So I guess she has something to do with it." My comment was met with nothing but silence so I continued to talk. "Jane is really great too. I had lunch with the two of them a week ago."

"So _that's_ when those pictures were taken?" Her question sounded more like a statement but I answered regardless.

"Yep, we talked a lot about the script and the characters. They are both huge fans of Bella's."

"Bella is wonderful, I'm not surprised."

"Yeah, she is…wonderful." I let my voice drift off as I mentally listed numerous other things that Bella was- beautiful, funny, smart, endearing, creative, and passionate. I only stopped when Mom started talking.

"Have you talked to her lately?"

My throat felt tight and I had to force myself to swallow. I could feel our conversation drifting into dangerous territory. I wasn't prepared to talk about Bella. Especially to my mom, who could always see right through me.

Trying to keep my voice casual I told her I had talked to Bella and when she asked how she was doing I found myself stumbling with a response.

"She's good…great. I mean, yeah, she's…she's doing great."

I ran my hands through my hair and yanked. _What the hell am I saying? _Sucking in a lungful of air, I held it until my chest burned and waited out the silence.

"Edward?" Mom asked. The sweet comforting tone of her voice made me feel like a child. Her one simple word wrapped around me like a warm blanket and I felt the calm that only a mother could bring. "What's wrong?"

Finally letting the air expel from my lungs I felt my head swim as I sat down on my couch. I had no idea what to say. I knew I couldn't lie to her and, to be honest, I didn't want to. Part of me wanted to talk to someone about everything, I just wasn't sure my mom was the best person for that.

"It's nothing. I'm just confused about some things right now. You know, trying to get stuff figured out." I said, trying to be vague.

"About Bella?"

_So much for being vague. _"Sort of."

"Look sweetheart. I know this is something you probably don't want to talk to your mother about but I'd--"

"No, it's not that. I just…I don't know." I dropped my head into my hands and fought to find the words. "I'm confused Mom." It was a poor explanation but it was the truth.

At times I felt that Bella might reciprocate my feelings, that maybe she could care for me as more than friends. But then I'd remember what she'd said outside of the hotel and the way her eyes looked back at me. They were filled with nothing but honesty. No matter what Rose or anyone else said, I knew the truth. And I knew that if she only wanted me as a friend then that's what I'd have to settle for.

"Have you talked to Bella about it?" my mom asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"No, it's uhh…complicated."

"Hmm. Well, have you thought that just maybe you're not the only one who thinks it's complicated?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that things aren't always what they seem."

It was like hearing Rose's random comment all over again. And just like before I told myself that I knew the truth. My confusion and ability to do nothing about it was starting to ware on me and I felt my control slipping.

"Mom, I know how Bella feels. We're just friends and that's the way she wants it." I tried to hold back the bitter sound of my voice but wasn't sure if I was successful. Silence hung in the air between us and I immediately felt awful. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get short with you I just--"

"I know dear, I know." She paused. "I just want you to think about things from Bella's perspective. If she was interested in you--"

"She's with someone." I added, cutting my mother off.

"I'm not saying she isn't. I'm simply saying that if she _was_ interested it would probably be very confusing and frustrating for her as well. Besides you don't know anything unless you talk to her."

"I have talked to her," I said in defeat, feeling the need to protect my feelings crumble away.

"You have?"

"Yes, after the meeting in LA."

"And what did you say?"

I sighed and realized that if I was going to talk to someone, it might as well be my Mom.

_Here goes nothing. _

"The short story? I asked her about the script, about Andrew. She based the friendship that Katherine and Andrew have in Angel at Dusk, on us. I knew it and when I asked her she admitted it. I asked if she felt that way, if she _still_ felt that way and she said no. It may not have been the answer I was looking for but I believe her. And I'm not going to let my feelings interfere with the friendship we have. I value it too much."

"Oh sweetheart. I know you're worried about ruining what you have, but some things in life are worth the risk."

"She means too much to me, Mom. I can't risk that."

"I know, I know." She was silent for a beat and then I heard her sigh. "Why don't you tell me more about the filming schedule in Portland?"

Thankful for the change in subject I spent a few minutes telling her what I knew--which was very little. She gave me the name of a few restaurants that she and my dad had been to while visiting the area and expressed her excitement at having Emmett work with me again.

"It'll be great having him on set. Besides I'm pretty sure his reaction to meeting Rose alone will be worth any hassle he may give me."

"He's your big brother. He's always going to hassle you. But yes, I think he'll enjoy meeting Rosalie very much."

I snorted. Very much didn't even cover it. He was going to go crazy. Instead of worrying my mother with the possible reaction her oldest son was sure to have, I veered the conversation in a different direction and asked about Dad.

By the end of my call home I was feeling relaxed and happy. It was exactly what I needed. I could feel the conversation coming to an end as I started reciting the typical 'I'll call you soon, tell Dad I love him' farewell. Just as I was about to say goodbye my mom cut me off.

"I was meaning to ask you. Have you read Angel at Dusk?"

Feeling slightly caught off guard at bringing up the movie again, and in turn Bella, I hesitated.

"No, I haven't. I keep meaning to go get it but I haven't had time."

"I see." She said with a motherly 'Hmm'.

"Why?"

"I think you should read it Edward. Perhaps you'll find your answers within its pages."

"My what?" I asked in confusion.

"Just read it. I think you'll find it helpful when it comes to filming the movie."

"Yeah, okay." I said nodding. I'd been meaning to read it for a while and I knew my mother was right. It would help when it came to start filming. "I have some time this afternoon, maybe I'll run to the store and pick up a copy."

"Good, I think you'll like it." I could hear the smile in her voice. "I better get going. I've got an appointment. You take care sweetheart and I'll talk to you soon."

Thirty minuets later I was walking through the crowded parking lot of a large chain bookstore. I kept my head down slightly, letting the brim of my hat shield my face from both the sun and from curious eyes. Going out in public was always an interesting experience. I had grown used to all the attention over the years but it didn't mean I always wanted it. It was all part of the job and I understood that, but sometimes it was nice to go out somewhere as mundane as a book store and not have hoards of people surrounding me.

As I pulled open the heavy glass doors, the scent of coffee and new books poured over me. I breathed it in while my eyes adjusted to being out of the sun. Taking a quick glace around the store I realized I had no clue what section her book would be in. I decided to just take a look around I started walking. Surprisingly, it took me no longer than a minute to find it. I shouldn't have been so shocked. I knew it was popular but I had to admit I wasn't expecting an entire round table dedicated to it.

Bella's name was in bold print under the title of New York Times Best Seller and under that lay copy after copy of her book, some in hard back and some in paper. I looked down at the light blue cover and smiled as I trailed my fingers over the raised letters. My heart started to race as I picked up a hard back copy and cracked open the cover. I flipped past two pages and paused to read the dedication.

_**For all of those who believe that true love can be found at any age.**_

My thoughts instantly turned to the conversation that I had with Bella a few weeks ago in my car. I had teased her about having a soft spot for romance. She'd adamantly defended herself and turned a beautiful shade of pink. At the time I didn't think too much of it but now, after reading her dedication I couldn't help but wonder about her experiences with romance. Had she ever loved someone? Did she love Jacob? Did she consider him her true love?

I quickly forced those thoughts from my mind, realizing they would only drive me insane and tucked the book under my arm before heading to the cashier to make my purchase.

During the drive home I tried to keep my thoughts focused but it was no use. I thought of Bella, I thought of what Rose said, I thought about what my mom had said and the excitement in her voice when I told her I'd purchase the book, and I thought about Bella some more.

With unforeseen excitement I walked into my house and sat down to read. I was anxious to delve into Bella's mind and I wondered why I'd waited this long. Kicking off my shoes I lay back on my leather couch and opened the book for the second time, listening to the crack of the binding as I pushed the hard cover open.

……..

Some time after the sun had set and started to rise again I put the book down. My stomach was screaming in protest from lack of food and I was in serious need to use the bathroom, but none of that mattered. My mind was so clouded over in confusion and full of questions I could hardly think straight. I sat on the edge of the couch and stared at the book--the little unassuming light blue book--and I couldn't help but feel angry. I was angry because I was fairly certain of one thing.

Bella had lied to me.

* * *

**Ohhh dear. So it seems as though our sweet Edward is going to want some answers. It's a good thing he has his yummy "yellow towel dreams" to hold him over and it's a SUPER Good thing he and Bella will BOTH BE IN PORTLAND IN THE NEXT CHAPTER....right?**

**It's all so close I can taste it......**


	17. Chapter 17

**Author Note: I can honestly say I have the best readers out there. Thank you all for your support and and PM's. You guys are the BEST! **

**Special Thanks: My fabulous Beta shwriteme. She's AMAZING and makes everything better. ECyesplease and mommyofboth who let me talk out this entire chapter more times than necessary on a train ride to NYC. Love you both. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own. **

**Oh and since it's been forever you might want to go back and re-read the last part of the last chapter....or I could just tell you...Edward FINALLY read the book and he's angry. Angry because he's pretty sure that Bella lied. It's a long chapter guys so prepare yourself. **

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**BPOV**

"Did you see the new one?" I asked from under the noise of the hair dryer. The heat burned against my already flushed cheeks and I strained to get a better view of Alice.

"Which new one are you referring to?" she asked, peeking around the stylist who was working her magic on my damp hair as she rolled it in sections around her round bristle brush.

"The one where she's touching his face." I closed my eyes and saw the image clear as day blazed into the inside of my eyelids.

I'd have thought after a week the image would have lessened, but it hadn't. And it seemed that every day the magazines or gossip sites would release another picture of Rosalie with Edward. First it was pictures of them leaving a restaurant and then pictures of Rosalie climbing into his car. Each one etched itself into my memory and made my stomach drop.

The loud hum of the dryer shut off and I lifted my head, looking at my pale reflection—the flush of pink cheeks and red ears. My hair was frizzy and untamed, ready to be sculpted into something beautiful.

"So have you heard from him yet today?" Alice fiddled with the clips and silk floral hairpieces on the counter in front of me.

"No. He knows I'm your slave today so he may not want to bother me." I teased, as the first of many products was slathered into my hair.

"Ha-ha, very funny--and I don't know. From what you've said about his flirty texts I don't think a hair appointment would stop him."

I felt my already warm cheeks burn red. The past few weeks I'd noticed a slight change in Edward's emails and texts. They were definitely more playful. At first I didn't know how to respond, but eventually I found myself teasing him back. Of course, I accidentally mentioned it to Alice one day over lunch.

"_What do you mean by playful? What does he say?" She had asked, perched on the edge of her seat, eyes wide, waiting on baited breath. _

"_I don't know, just stuff." I lazily pulled my fork across my plate, pushing around the large chunks of soggy croutons. _

"_Stuff? Seriously? You're going with 'stuff'? You're a New York Times best selling author and stuff is the best you can come up with?" _

_I sighed and felt my shoulders drop. I should have known bringing Edward up in the conversation with Alice would result in me giving up every last detail. Then again, didn't I want someone to share it with? Didn't I want someone to tell me what all of it meant? Alice was always that person so why was I keeping it from her? Realizing there wasn't a valid reason, I pulled out my phone and flipped through the last few texts I'd received from him. I read through a few and felt my cheeks warm._

"_Oh boy, they must be good." Alice's voice rose higher and I saw her slight form bounce out of the corner of my eye. _

_I held back my smile and pulled up a text that I'd saved from our conversation--the day I first started yoga. I told her the gist of our conversation and how I had said I wasn't sure I'd like it even though she said it would be good for me. She smiled triumphantly because she was right--I did end up enjoying it. _

"_And what was his response?" she asked. _

"_He said that it sounds like you can get me to anything and…" I trailed off biting the inside of my cheeks as I prepared to read the rest of it. "And he said that I'd probably end up liking it although my--my body doesn't need it." _

_I looked up at her wide golden eyes. "What did you say back?"_

_I scrunched my eyebrows as if trying to remember what I'd said. When in reality I knew exactly what my response was. I finally faked recognition. _

"_I said something about it being good for me and that you can never be too flexible." _

"_And?" she asked, waiting for the rest of it. _

"_And he said flexibility is a good thing, a very good thing." There was no keeping the smile off my face as I locked eyes with Alice. Her smile matched my own and we both fell into a fit of giggles. _

_After catching my breath enough to speak I told her about a few other texts. Like the time he brought up my lack of rock band skills, again, and told me that the next time we played he'd give me a private lesson. I felt like a school girl as I dished and told Alice every little detail, even the most insignificant thing. _

"_Bella," Alice said, looking at me with a knowing smirk. "I don't know what you're thinking but he's not just being playful. He's flirting with you."_

"_No, he's just being funny and teasing me." I'd shaken my head denying her words but felt the erratic thumping of my heart. _

_Her words had made the little spark of hope that'd been burning inside me pulse with life. As I thought that maybe, just maybe she was right. _

Over the next few days I couldn't get Alice's words out of my head. With every text and email from Edward I asked myself if he was flirting or not. On some occasions I was positive he was and other times I wasn't so sure. Either way, I was enjoying it. I told myself to stop questioning and just go with it.

Of course, then the pictures started showing up and I couldn't help but question everything. What was he doing flirting with me if he was with Rosalie Hale? Was he with Rosalie? Did I even want to know the answer to that? What would I do if they were together?

"I doubt they're really dating." Alice said, answering my unspoken question and breaking me from my thoughts.

"What makes you think they aren't? Look at the way she's looking at him Alice." I picked up the magazine and showed it to her.

She grabbed it and tossed it aside, paying it no attention. "She's just looking at his face. What is she supposed to do? Look at her feet while she talks to him?"

I rolled my eyes knowing she was right. I still had my doubts though, which didn't go unnoticed by Alice.

"You said yourself they were friends, right?"

"Yes, but--"

"So, they're friends, end of story." She handed the stylist, who up until this point I'd forgotten was even there, a bottle of product and looked back at my reflection. "Unless, of course you're planning on asking him if there is something going on between them?"

"Sure, sure. Right after I confess my undying love for him--that will be next on my list."

Now it was Alice's turn to roll her eyes. "I'm serious you know. You should ask him."

"Alice, I'm having a hard enough time psyching myself up to tell him I lied, about the book _and_ my feelings. Let me tackle one thing at a time."

"Alright, alright," she said, holding up her hands in surrender.

Without saying another word she turned her attention to the stylist. The two of them started into a conversation about my hair and I took the moment to dwell on the predicament I had put myself in.

Ever since realizing that I couldn't have Edward in my life as only my friend, I'd been struggling with the best way to tell him the truth. I knew I couldn't do it in a text or email. And although the phone might be an option, I still knew it wasn't good enough. If I was going to tell the truth and finally lay everything out there, I was going to do it in person. Of course this was a lot easier said than done.

I tried to imagine how things would go--each time a different way. Sometimes I would just bluntly tell him and then walk away feeling ridiculous. Other times, I'd stand there fidgeting and nervous, stumbling through my explanation.

I never let myself think about how he'd react to my news. After all, it didn't matter how he reacted. What mattered was that he'd know the truth and I wouldn't be lying anymore. Or atleast that's what I told myself.

The sound of my phone, signaling a text, broke my train of thought and my heart instinctively thumped within my chest. I took a deep breath and told myself it probably wasn't even him. Besides, he knew that I was at the salon today with Alice.

I kept my head down and tried to focus on the sharp stinging pain of my hair being pulled and pinned and not the desire I had to grab my phone from my purse and make sure it wasn't Edward texting me.

"Well are you going to sit there all day or are you going to check?" Alice asked, leaning down to get a better look at me.

"It's probably not him. He knows I'm here and--" As I spoke, Alice huffed and dug into my bag.

With a satisfied smirk she eyed the screen. "One new message from Edward." She giggled before handing it over to me.

I fumbled with the buttons and opened the text, holding my breath.

"Breathe Bella. I can't have you passing out and ruining your hair."

With a shaky exhale, I felt the tension in my chest release and I clicked the button.

_**How did the "trial hair" go?**_

Alice's hand came to a rest on my shoulder as she knelt down beside me to look attempt a look at the screen.

"What did he say? Is it flirty? What did he say? What are you going to respond with?" she spoke quickly, running one question into the next without taking a breath.

I held the phone off to the side so Alice could read it and typed back my response.

_**Good, but now I have a headache. They must think I'll be taking on a tornado with all the pins they put in. **_

"Hey! I just want to make sure it stays in place." Alice snarled at the insult, still reading over my shoulder. "You don't want it falling out while you're dancing do you?"

I looked up at her face with raised eyebrows. "Dancing? Alice, I don't dance. You know that."

She waved her hand around as if my words meant nothing. "I know, I know. You'll only have the one dance with the wedding party, I promise. Besides, Jacob has dealt with your lack of coordination before. He can handle it."

I opened my mouth ready to defend myself but she had already stared back into a conversation with the stylist. My phone buzzed in my hands and I looked down at the screen.

_**From what you've said, Alice is like a tornado. **_

I stifled back a laugh and peeked over my shoulder to make sure Alice wasn't looking as I typed a response.

_**She is. Perhaps they're onto something. What are you up to?**_

_**Just lying in bed wondering what you're doing. **_

With a smile I shook my head. _**Laying in bed and thinking of me? Why Edward I had no idea…**_

_**You didn't know I lay around all day and think of you? It's my new job. Dream of Bella, think of Bella, fantasize about Bella, think of Bella some more. I'm thinking of declaring it as my new profession. What do you think?**_

_Fantasize about me?_ As I read his words I felt the heat from my cheeks spread throughout my entire body. Closing my eyes, I sat back and sighed. I'd been fantasizing about Edward for longer than I could even remember and the thought of him doing the same made my head spin and my legs weak.

"Oh boy. From the look on your face, you've either just had a mini orgasm or you've eaten a damn good piece of chocolate."

I looked up at Alice's reflection in the mirror and wordlessly handed her my phone.

Her eyes widened as she read. "Yep, mini orgasm," she confirmed, with a nod of her head. She placed my phone back in my hands and opened her mouth to speak but squealed instead. Long arms wrapped around her waist and I saw the unmistakable blond locks of Jasper nuzzling into her neck. While the two of them shared a quiet conversation I turned my attention back to my own _quiet conversation_ with Edward.

I laughed when I read his description of his job title and blushed when I told him I'd need full description of his fantasies. By the time our flirtatious banter ended I was flushed and tingling. _Yes, I was tingling from texts. _

I sighed quietly to myself and dared to imagine what he would write if he were to actually describe his fantasies to me. _How did he imagine me? Would he kiss me like he couldn't get enough? Or would he take his time exploring? Did he imagine what I'd look like beneath him, naked, pressed close? Would he be gentle or would he rip my clothes off? _

Just thinking about it was enough to drive me insane. I pressed my thighs together and bit back a moan.

_Get a grip, Bella. This is not helping things_.

I shook my head and told myself to focus on anything other than the ache between my legs. With a resolved sigh, I grabbed the magazine from the counter and attempted to get lost within its pages.

It worked, until I saw another picture of Edward and Rosalie. It was similar to the others, only shot from a different angle. _Edward Cullen and Rosalie Hale, Hollywood's most beautiful couple, _was written in small font under the photograph.

I read the caption a few times and felt the heaviness of the words sink in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know if they were in fact a couple but there was no denying that they _looked_ like a perfect pair. They were both beautiful and highly successful actors. Everything about them matched and as much as it pained me to admit. I always expected Edward to end up with someone like Rosalie--someone tall and stunning and—

"Don't do that." Jaspers voice cut into my thoughts.

I put the magazine down and turned around in my chair. He was standing alone. I hadn't even noticed that Alice and the stylist had left.

"Don't do what?" I asked, wondering what he could possibly be talking about.

"Don't compare yourself to her, or anyone, for that matter."

"Jasper I--"

He held up his hand and continued talking. "You're an amazing, beautiful woman Bella. And I can promise you that he thinks the same thing."

I felt my cheeks get warm as I dropped my eyes. "Thanks."

"Just being honest." He smiled down at me and I saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes. I wasn't sure what Edwards's thoughts were, but at the moment, I wasn't going to challenge Jaspers' comment. It was too much fun imagining that perhaps he was right. So without any awkward pauses, we fell into our normal ease of conversation. He filled me in on his plan for a wedding gift--and swore me to secrecy--and I confirmed his suspicions that she would indeed love it.

After a few minuets, Alice danced into view with the stylist by her side. Once she was satisfied that my hair was perfect, they discussed plans for the morning of the wedding.

Being the maid of honor, I tried to pay attention and comment when necessary, but my mind wasn't focused. I kept thinking about Edward and the texts and the way his words affected me. Then I thought about Jasper's comment and I wondered if Edward thought I was beautiful.

"Everything is set for next week," Alice said, plopping down in the chair beside me. "They've got a staff of five girls who'll be working with us and they assured me that they'll be able to stick to my schedule." I nodded and promised her that everything would run smoothly.

"So are you gonna tell me what else he said?" she asked, spinning around to face me and curling her feet up beneath her.

I smiled, because of course Alice knew what I was thinking about. She always did. Grabbing my phone I pulled up the last few texts and passed it to her.

She read them with a silent smirk playing on her lips. "Has he sent any other ones?"

She handed my phone back and I read over the texts again. "No, not yet." I shook my head.

"Well, based on those, he'll definitely be in touch again. And soon." She hopped up and reached a hand out to me. "Come on, let's go get Jasper and grab some lunch. I'm starving."

Clutching my phone in one hand and Alice's hand in the other, I let her pull me to my feet. As I took one last look at the magazine that lay open on the counter, I repeated Alice's words from earlier. _They're just friends, end of story_. I glanced up at the mirror, looked at my reflection and remembered Jasper's words. _You're an amazing, beautiful woman, Bella. _

I don't know if it was those words or the texts that Edward had sent earlier, but I felt a flash of excitement. For the first time I knew that I'd be able to tell Edward the truth. And for the first time I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, I might be surprised by his response.

I looked down at the hand that gripped my cell phone and smiled, remembering Edwards' words. Alice was right. _He'll definitely be in touch again, and soon. _

……

Alice's wedding came in a whirlwind of tulips and daffodils on the first day of spring. She was the most beautiful bride I'd ever seen and, from the look on Jaspers face, he felt the same way.

I fulfilled every responsibility of a good maid of honor. I made sure her dress was perfect for every picture. I held her flowers when she needed me to. I carried a tissue so her mascara wouldn't run down her face when she cried. I even held her dress for her while she used the bathroom. I was there for her _every_ need yet--I wasn't really there at all.

And that's because I hadn't heard from Edward.

Unless you consider the brief, _**'sorry I haven't been able to talk, really busy'**_ text I got from him three days ago, a legitimate response. I told myself that he was just as he said, busy. But no matter how many times I repeated it over in my mind, I had a feeling something more was wrong.

The confidence I felt a week ago was fading and I was still questioning myself when I got on the plane for Portland.

"Would you like a drink before take off?" the flight attendant's sweet voice asked.

I released my bottom lip from between my teeth long enough to nod and ask for a coke. Taking a deep breath, I sat back and sipped on the syrupy liquid, hoping it would help settle the nerves in my stomach.

For the past few days I'd been in a constant state of tension. Each day that passed without a response from Edward, it grew worse. I kept asking myself why he hadn't called or texted? And every time I came up with nothing. My entire body ached from stress and fear and it seemed as if relaxing was not going to be an option any time soon.

At least until I talked with Edward.

_Oh God. _Fear pricked up my spine at the simple thought of finally speaking with him. I'd waited for so long. For years I'd tried to move on, tried to love others but it was impossible. No one ever measured up. No one was _him_. Edward is all I've ever wanted. And the knowledge that he had the ability to tear me apart or make my every dream come true terrified me.

Attempting to focus on anything else, I nervously looked around the plane and concentrated all my thoughts on the people walking down the aisle.

Just as the last few passengers were boarding the plane, my phone beeped signaling a text. Up until that point I hadn't realized my cell was still on. The old lady in fur who sat beside me lifted her chin and glared down at me.

I felt the heat rise up my neck and to my cheeks. "Must have forgotten to turn it off." I mumbled under my breath while digging through my bag.

Quickly grabbing my phone I turned away from her disapproving stare.

_**Stop worrying. Everything will be fine. Telling him is the right thing to do and you know it. Be brave like Katherine. You wrote her that way for a reason. You can do this. I love you, fly safe and text me when you land. –Ali**_

_How does she do that? _I wondered as I read through her text a second time. Alice always had a way of knowing exactly what I needed to hear and when I needed to hear it. Even if it required her sending a text while on her honeymoon. I laughed quietly and powered off my phone.

Sitting back in my chair, I closed my eyes and repeated Alice's words, hoping that by some miracle they would actually make me braver.

…..

Three hours later, when the wheels touched down in Portland, I wasn't sure if it had worked, but I told myself it had.

Happy to be off the stuffy plane, I made my way through the crowds of the airport, sure to keep my eyes away from the shelves lined with magazines. A week ago, I decided to swear off celebrity magazines. Actually, it was Alice who insisted upon it, insisting that it would only make me miserable and make me doubt what I had to do. I agreed wholeheartedly. After all, who wants to see the man she loves with another woman?

Keeping my eyes forward, I made my way down to baggage claim where a representative from the Studio was waiting. I'd assured Charlotte before I left that I wouldn't need transportation. And that I was more than capable of renting a car and driving to the set. But she insisted that the studio wanted to make my visit as easy as possible and would take care of everything.

It wasn't hard to spot the man in the suit holding the sign with my name. I approached him and offered a friendly smile.

"Isabella Swan?" he confirmed.

I nodded. "Bella," I said, correcting him.

"Do you have any bags checked?"

"No, just this one carry-on." I looked down at my bag and smiled, remembering Alice's words earlier in the week when she insisted on helping me pack.

"One bag!" she had said. "One bag and it's not even a full size one. This is an important trip, Bella. How are you supposed to fit everything into that one tissue sized box suitcase?"

I had assured her that my three day trip to Portland didn't require anything bigger and after a bit of persuading, she gave in with the promise that I'd at least let her help me pack.

Apparently she was an "expert" when it came to fitting an insane amount of clothing into one small carry-on. I'm still shocked with the end result.

"Alright then, I'll just take this and we'll be on our way." The driver grasped the handle of my bag and started walking towards the rotating doors.

I followed behind him and, with every step I felt my heart rate increase, a heavy rhythmic pounding against my chest. Up until this point I'd done a pretty good job of staying calm. Minus the moment on the plane where I thought I might throw up. I spent the majority of the flight writing and anytime my mind started to panic with thoughts of Edward and what he would say and why he hadn't called and whether or not he was dating Rosalie Hale, I'd force myself to repeat Alice's words. I'd take a calming breath and in a matter of seconds I'd be back on track.

But now? _Now _was a different story. And I'm pretty sure that was because I was here, actually _here_, in Portland where he was.

My chest was still tight and the palms of my hands sweating as the driver opened the door of a black SUV. I inhaled, letting the damp northwestern air fill my lungs and looked up at the cloudy sky.

_You can do this Bella. _

I closed my eyes and with an exhale climbed into the back seat. The door closed with a gentle click and the dark tinted windows shut out what little daylight there was. I watched as the driver climbed in and got situated. After a moment he looked back at me in the rearview mirror.

"I've been told to take you right to the set but I'm sure if you'd prefer, we could make a stop off at the hotel first."

I hesitated for only half a second. "No, that's okay. The set is fine." I may have been nervous but the thought of seeing Edward all the sooner made my body come alive with anticipation. Not to mention the fact that I was about to be on the set of the movie based on my book. I remembered the surreal feeling I had looking over the pictures while in LA. This was bound to be even more amazing.

I bit back a nervous laugh and got out my cell phone.

_**I'm here. Nervous but excited. I'm going right to the set. I still can't believe this is happening!**_

With Alice's fast fingers it took all of ten seconds to get a response.

_**Believe it. You worked so hard on that book and it's amazing. It deserves to be made into a movie.  
Have you decided when you'll talk to him?**_

I thought over her question and realized that I hadn't decided yet. I wasn't sure what Edwards schedule was like and I knew I wanted some time alone with him. There was no way I'd risk an interruption during that conversation.

_**Don't know yet. I figure I'll wait until I find out what his schedule is like. **_

Alice agreed that my decision to play it by ear was best and continued to send random texts during my drive. I didn't know if she could sense my nervousness or if she was really bored and wanted to talk. Either way I was thankful for the distraction.

When I finally felt the car come to a stop, my heart skipped. I looked out the window and saw that we were parked in front of a school. There were large tents and trailers everywhere I looked and people navigating their way through equipment that looked foreign to me.

I reached for the handle of the door but it flew open before I touched it. The sunlight blinded me momentarily and I could barely make out the light blonde haired girl who was smiling at me.

"Hi," she said, tucking her, straight as corn silk, hair behind her ear. "I'm Kate. Edward's assistant."

Butterflies flitted around in my stomach at the mention of his name and I couldn't withhold the smile that took my lips. "I'm Bella," I climbed out of the car and shook her outstretched hand.

"Edward asked if I'd meet you here first before any of the assistant directors got hold of you."

_He asked that she meet me? So maybe nothing is wrong. Maybe he really has just been busy. _I tossed the idea around in my head for a moment and didn't even notice that Kate had continued talking.

"…and you could follow one of those AD's around for hours before they take you to where the action is." She laughed

I nodded and smiled with her pretending I knew what she was talking about. _Come on, Bella. Focus. It shouldn't be that hard. _

Forcing all thoughts of Edward from my mind I focused on Kate and everything she said. She pointed out things as we walked, and I willingly absorbed everything. I'd only ever seen movie sets from 'behind the scenes' footage on DVD's and from pictures online. So actually being on one was amazing. There was so much involved that I wasn't even aware of.

Kate randomly stopped to introduce me to people, which resulted in signing copies of my book or posing for pictures. It shocked me how many people on set were not only fans but some of them actually jumped at the chance to work on the film primarily because of my book.

Before I knew it we were walking into the school and through the locker lined hallways. Everywhere I looked were posters and flyers with the name 'Brandywine High School' printed on them. It was just as I thought it would be, like stepping into a memory or a dream.

Kate slowed her pace when we reached the corner and I noticed the amount of people standing around easily doubled. About forty feet away, at the opposite end of the hall I could see the bright lights and cameras.

"Bella, are you coming?" Kate asked, looking down at me with confused eyes.

I hadn't noticed that I'd stopped walking, but apparently I had. My feet felt heavy and the tips of my fingers were tingling. Forcing myself to break the nervous trance I was in, I nodded and attempted a smile.

"Yeah, sorry, I was just taking it all in."

Without hesitation Kate smiled back and took a step toward me. "Don't apologize. I can only imagine what this would feel like for you. It's got to be crazy seeing your book come to life like this."

As she spoke the man who stood behind her moved out of the way and suddenly it was like time slowed down. Standing just a few feet away, in the light, was Edward. He was half hidden behind a camera and I could hardly see him. But he was talking with Stefan and Vladimir, the two directors I'd met in LA, and there was definitely no mistaking his copper colored hair or his perfect jaw line.

_Edward. _

As if he could hear my very thoughts his head snapped to the side and his eyes met mine. My heart instantly went into overdrive and my body felt warm. I looked at him and couldn't hold back my smile.

The corners of his lips curled up only slightly and he quickly nodded his head in acknowledgment before turning his attention back to Vladimir.

I dropped my head and felt the familiar heat spread up my neck until it covered my cheeks. His welcome wasn't what I expected it to be, yet I had no clue what I was really expecting. In my dreams he would run over to me and pull me into a hug, laughing and saying that it was great to see me again. But in reality I knew that would never happen, at least not quite like that. I did however expect something more than a nod and cold smile.

_Wait, cold? Is that what that was?_

_Well it definitely wasn't warm. _

_Yeah, well he's working. He's talking to the director, what do you expect? _

I didn't get a chance to question or analyze my thoughts before Kate started walking away from me and closer to Edward. She glanced back over her shoulder and gave a silent 'are you coming' look.

One part of me, the scared part that had feared for the last few weeks that Edward was upset with me or that something was wrong, wanted to run away in the opposite direction. The other part of me, the new brave part that was done lying to him and was going to tell him the truth even if it killed me, rolled back her shoulders and took a step forward.

Apparently the brave side was stronger than I thought and I found myself following after Kate with my head held high forcing myself to ignore the frantic way in which my heart was pounding.

"Isabella!" Stefan crooned as soon as he saw me approach. "So good to see you again."

"Please, call me Bella," I corrected as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"Yes, yes of course," he said, casually. "Did Edward's assistant Kate show you around the set?"

"A little bit, yes. It's all so amazing. I knew it would be great when I saw the pictures but this is just--surreal."

My eyes automatically danced over to where Edward stood and I noticed that Rosalie, Jane and the guy who was playing Mike, or should I say 'Matthew', had joined in the conversation with Vladimir. Try as I may I couldn't keep my eyes off Edward and Rose, standing side by side. Wondering what they were to each other and studying their every motion.

I was faintly aware of Stefan talking and it wasn't until I noticed his silence that I looked away.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked blushing.

"I said, we're going to shoot this scene again, if you'd like to have a seat and watch you may." He pointed to a chair and smiled kindly before turning his attention to one of the camera men.

I sat down silently and watched as the crew went about their work, but it didn't take long for my primary focus to turn back to Edward. I tried not to stare but I was pretty sure it wasn't working.

There was something about being within a ten foot radius of him that made me lose all control over my body. I couldn't breathe without imagining that I could smell him, I couldn't stand without feeling weak in my knees and I couldn't--_not_ stare--at him. Especially when he stood with his hands in his back pocket and shifted his weight from one foot to the other and most definitely not when he ran his fingers through his hair like he was doing at the moment. Then as if the gods wanted to punish me even more, he started laughing. It was _his_ laugh. The one where his mouth opened into a wide smile making his nose scrunch up slightly. The same laugh that I'd heard plenty of times before and still made me melt.

Without warning Edward glanced over to me. My entire body tensed and I sucked in a ragged breath. I forced a smile to my face, hoping that maybe his reaction earlier- or should I say, lack there of, was a fluke.

His reaction this time was different. Different and worse. This time the corners of his lips didn't even rise. He held my gaze for a few seconds and I tried in that brief moment to understand what he was thinking. Then, before I had a chance to process anything his eyes dropped to the floor. In one fluid motion, he turned his back to me.

It was such a simple act and might have meant nothing, but to me it meant--everything. My heart and stomach twisted in knotted bewilderment.

_Is he angry? What did I do? _

I couldn't understand why he was acting like that. I hadn't done anything but smile and I couldn't think of anything that I'd said in the past few weeks to upset him.

Biting back the emotion that bubbled up inside me, I swallowed thickly and looked down into my lap. I counted the chunky cotton threads of my sweater a dozen times and didn't look up until I heard them call 'action'.

The scene they were filming was one of many that I experienced throughout high school. And being here in the hallway with its shiny commercial grade flooring and drab painted metal lockers made me feel as if I'd transported back in time. Though the scene they were filming differed a little from the way it actually happened, it was still close enough to feel surreal. I watched the scene play out before me and remembered it like it was yesterday.

It'd been about two weeks after I'd first seen Edward and Tanya holding hands. The word around the school had been that they were officially dating. Besides the obvious disappointment and heartache I'd felt, I was also upset. Upset because he was supposed to be my friend and never once had he told me directly that they were dating. Of course at the time it was truly the last thing I'd wanted to hear coming from him. It would simply have hurt too much.

_**8 years ago**_

"I still can't believe he hasn't said anything." I said, slamming my truck door, sending specks of rust to the pavement. "I mean, what does he think--I'm living under a rock?" I looked at Angela with raised eyebrows. I wasn't close to being finished with my rant. She sensed this and kept quiet.

"The entire school knows and yet he hasn't said a word to me." I continued, tossing my back pack over my shoulder. "We're supposed to be friends. And ever since he's started dating her he's barely even speaking to me."

I took a deep breath and reveled in the release I felt. For the first time I was feeling something other than hurt and rejection. I was feeling anger and frustration. Granted there was still an underlying heavy ache of sadness in the pit of my stomach, but I was trying to get over it. I'd already come to grips with the fact that I would probably never have Edward as more than a friend. And as much as that pained me, it was even worse imagining not having him as a friend at all.

"So, are you going to ignore him?" Angela asked, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Yes. No. I don't know." I blew my bangs out of the way with a huff. "We got paired together for that English paper on the Revolutionary war. So I can't really ignore him. Plus I--I'm not _really_ mad at him. I just--"

"I know." She cut me off as her eyes dashed to mine. We were both silent for a moment as we walked, taking in the loud sounds that filled the hallway before first period. Suddenly Angela stopped. "Mike's going to ask you to the dance this weekend," she blurted.

"What!" I turned to face her, eyes wide. "Where did you hear that?"

Her eyes looked down briefly and then back at me. "Ben _might_ have told me last night on the phone."

"And you decide to wait until _now_ to tell me?"

"Sorry, but you were kind of on a tangent." She twirled her hands nervously. "I wanted you to vent and then you did but then--well then I wanted to change the subject and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner I just thought that maybe--"

"Angela, it's okay." I said, stopping her apologetic rambling. "Isn't he going after Jessica?"

"He was, but apparently they got into some fight and he decided she's too dramatic for him."

I sighed realizing that if Mike was no longer interested in Jessica then his attention would be focused on me. "This is going to be exhausting," I said, voicing my thoughts aloud. "I just don't feel like dodging Mike today."

She was quiet for a second then looked at me with a half smile. "Then don't dodge him," she said, shrugging her shoulders before turning into her classroom with out a second glace.

I opened my mouth to ask if she was being serious or laugh or--something. But all I could do was gape. Other kids walked past me and hurried to their class and somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I should be walking but I just couldn't. I stood silently thinking over Angela's words and wondered if she was being serious.

_Mike?_

Still lost in thought, and five minutes late, I walked into English class and made my way to my seat, ignoring the glare of disapproval that Mrs. Thompson was surely giving me. I dug out my notebook and opened to a blank page, staring at the light blue lines.

Somewhere between trying to picture myself saying yes to Mike and imagining actually enjoying myself with Mike, I felt the weight of someone watching me. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood on end I felt a faint tingling up my spine. Without a thought I turned my head in the direction of Edward.

As soon as I did, I met his green eyes and I froze. He was watching me. I felt the color rise to my cheeks and I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. I might have been angry with him but it wouldn't stop me from looking at him.

I was faintly aware of the fact that Mrs. Thompson had started talking and there was movement around the room. Someone walked in front of me, officially cutting my eye contact with Edward. I wanted to scream at the person for being an idiot, but I bit down on my tongue and waited for them to move out of the way. Once they did it was too late. Edward was no longer in his seat. I sat up straight in my chair and was attempting to turn around when I heard my name.

"Hey, Bella." I spun and found Mike, standing in front of my desk with his pencil tucked behind his ear. I took the moment to really look at him. He really wasn't a bad looking guy. In fact if I wasn't comparing him to Edward, I'd say he was good looking--attractive even. He had a friendly face and light blue eyes that were easy to read and always looked kind.

_I could go to a dance with him right? _

"Hi Mike. How's it going?"

"Great." He smiled, looking highly excited for someone who was just asked a simple question.

I kind of nodded my head and looked down at my notebook wondering what he'd say next. Wondering if he'd actually ask me out, like Angela had said.

"Well hey, look, I uh--I wanted to ask you what your plans were for this weekend. There's a dance and I know that you usually don't like to go to dances, but I was thinking that we could go out to dinner before and then--"

"Sure." I said, without even thinking. I hated being put on the spot.

_Sure? Did I just say sure? Apparently I've lost my mind. _

"Yeah? You'll go?" Mike asked, both sounding and looking hopeful.

I scrambled for an out. Some way to take back that one casual word that poured from my mouth without my control but I couldn't find a thing. I was stuck. Briefly closing my eyes I told myself to relax.

_I can handle this. It's only one date. _

When my eyes opened I came face to face with not only Mike but Edward, who was looking down at me with an expression I couldn't quite read. My eyes went wide in shock. After the way Edward had been acting all week he was the last person I expected to approach me.

I looked from him to Mike and back again and at that moment it hit me. If Edward could date someone, so could I. Granted he's not the one I want to be with, but I could at least have a fun time. _Maybe._

I offered Edward a smile and looked back to Mike who hadn't taken his eyes off me.

"What time will you pick me up?"

"Uh--er--five? Does five sound okay?" he asked, looking puzzled.

"Five is great. See you then." Without giving him a second glance, I turned my attention to Edward. I nodded in acknowledgment, refusing to be the first one to speak. Maybe I was being a little stubborn.

"Hi, how's it going?" He smiled, sitting down on the edge of my desk. The tone of his voice and carefree attitude was a complete 180 from the way he'd been acting the past week and it left me baffled. Why the sudden change?

"So you're talking to me again?" I asked, through narrowed eyes.

"I never _stopped_ talking to you."

"Sure you did. You've practically ignored me for the past week."

"Bella I wasn't ignoring you I--" I looked at him with accusing eyes and he stopped talking. Quickly running his fingers through his hair he dropped his head and waited a beat before speaking again. "I'm sorry," he said before meeting my eyes.

I could have asked if that was it, if that was all he was going to say. The voice in the back of my head was telling me to make him explain himself and to tell him that a simple 'sorry' wasn't good enough. But I couldn't.

There was something about the look in his eyes and the way his stare made my body hot and cold and tingly all at the same time that made any anger I felt melt away. He was sorry, and that's all I needed to hear.

Deciding to push all the emotions aside, I looked up at him. "Just don't do it again,"

I said with a half smile, hoping he'd see that he was forgiven.

He laughed, shaking his head. I got lost in the way his hair fell across his forehead, almost brushing the tips of his lashes. My stomach fluttered and my heart skipped. Clearly there was no such thing as 'pushing all emotions aside.'

"When do you want to get together to work on our paper?" he asked, grabbing my pen and spinning it around the smooth surface of the desk.

I waited a half a beat to answer. "I'm free today after school." I said, trying not to sound too anxious. He was _taken _after all and the sooner I realized that the better.

"Uhh, today won't work. Tanya and I are going out." For half a second I thought he looked hesitant but in an instant the look was gone.

I swallowed down my immediate disappointment and tried to ignore the sharp sting that slices through my chest. I knew I'd hear her name eventually, especially since Edward and I were friends but it didn't make it hurt any less.

Deciding that I couldn't trust myself to speak, I stayed quiet and played with the tattered edge of my English book, waiting to see if he'd continue.

"What about tomorrow?" he had asked.

I nodded silently and looked up at him. "Sure. I can do tomorrow."

"Cool." His lips had pulled into a lopsided smirk that he was known for and just as he had opened his mouth to say something else the bell rang. Sometimes I still wondered what it was that he was going to say.

_**END FLASHBACK**_

The shrill bell ringing on set woke me from my memories and I blinked, washing away the images from my past. I heard someone call "cut" and waited a beat before looking up to see Rosalie laughing heartily at Edward.

"Looks like Hale and Cullen are enjoying themselves," a scratchy male voice said from behind me.

"_Enjoying_ is right. Those two have been inseparable since they've been on set," another voice said.

My ears perked at hearing Edward's name paired with Rosalie and I found myself leaning back in my chair, desperate to hear the conversation.

"Looks like the papz are right about something for once," the first man continued, His rough tone, grating my nerves. "Those two are definitely together."

"Lucky bastard," the other one chuckled as he walked past me.

I sat silently, frozen in the chair, and repeated the words I'd just heard over in my head. _They're definitely together. _

For a half second I allowed myself to believe that what I'd heard wasn't true. I mean, how would they know? But then I realized that if anyone knew, it would be members of the cast and crew-- people who were around them all day and who have been watching their interactions.

Then like a light turning on I knew why Edward had been acting so different. Why he hadn't been texting or calling like he had been.

_He's with her. _

My eyes instantly went to Edward, hoping that what I'd see would dismiss my thoughts. But it didn't. He was standing beside Rosalie, the two of them no more than a foot apart, engrossed in what looked like an intimate conversation.

As if the ground was pulled out beneath me, everything dropped-- my stomach, my heart and my hope. My head felt light and I was faintly aware of the room starting to spin around me. My eyes fluttered shut and I forced myself to take a breath so I wouldn't pass out.

_You knew this was a possibility Bella. _I reminded myself. _Get some control and just face the facts. You've dealt with this before. You can do it again. _

I rolled my eyes; even _I_ knew I couldn't do it again. I'd already decided that. I promised myself that no matter what his relationship was with Rosalie, or any other female for that matter, I'd tell him the truth. No more lies.

Taking another deep breath, I pushed down any emotions that were threatening to spill over and repeated Alice's words from earlier.

_Be brave, you can do this._

Somewhere in the middle of my mantra a familiar voice swam into my ears. "Bella," It took a second for my mind to process that it was Stephan who had called me and when I finally looked up I saw him motioning me over.

Though still in a daze I somehow managed to stand to my feet and start walking. I plastered a 'this is business' smile on my face and kept my eyes on Stephan as I approached.

"What did you think of the scene?" he asked.

"It's great. It was great." I said with a nod, still grinning.

"That's because we have great material to work with, thanks to you." I saw the golden blonde hair out of the corner of my eye and turned to see the face that matched the voice. "Hey, it's great to see you again." Rosalie reached out a hand and brushed my arm affectionately.

Part of me wanted to smack her hand away and tell her not to touch me but I just couldn't. No matter how much I wanted to hate her I didn't. She was always nice to me and never once gave me a reason to dislike her.

"Hi, Rosalie. It's good to see you too." I smiled back, willing it to look genuine.

"We were wondering when you'd get here," her eyes dashed over to Edward, who I just noticed had stepped up beside her. "Weren't we?"

He nodded and briefly caught my eyes. "Yeah."

I waited for the smile I wanted so desperately to see, but it never came. Instead Rosalie started talking again, filling the silence.

"Jane's around here somewhere," she said, looking around. "I know she wanted a chance to get to meet you and pick your brain a little bit since she missed you in LA."

I instinctively followed the direction Rosalie looked and didn't see Jane anywhere. "I'd love the chance to meet her," I said. "From what I just saw she's fantastic as Kate."

"She really is." Rosalie nodded. "And of course Edward here is finding a home in the role of Andrew." For the second time in the matter of a minute she nudged Edward playfully trying to get him to join in the conversation.

Without a second thought I turned to him and smiled. "I bet he is. Edward's great at everything he does."

For the first time since I'd arrived on set, Edward looked at me and truly smiled. His vibrant green eyes lit up and I felt the familiar flutter in my stomach. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Stephan.

"Everything is set for dinner tonight at the restaurant down the street from our hotel." He said, settling up beside me.

"Dinner?" Edward and I asked at the same time.

"Ya know…a few members of the cast, two crazy directors. You think you can handle joining us?" Stephan asked with a laugh.

"Dinner, tonight, with the cast?" I repeated. Imagining an evening where I'd be subject to seeing Edward and Rosalie together would be painful but I knew it would grant me the opportunity to talk with Jane. And maybe even plan a time to talk with Edward. _That is if he will talk to me. _

"I don't know." Edward said before I could speak. I could tell by the tone of his voice and the look on his face that the he wasn't too keen on the idea.

_So much for the friendly smile earlier. _

"It's just that we've been on set all day--"

"Like that's ever stopped you before," Rosalie cut in, rolling her eyes at him. "We'll be there."

"And what about you, dear Bella?" Stephan looked down at me with a grin.

I could feel the weight of Edwards stare and before I could stop myself I looked over at him. There was something in his eyes that seemed to say he didn't want me to go and the pain of that realization struck me like an anvil.

Dropping my eyes to the ground, I looked anywhere but at him. "Umm, I don't know…I--"

"Come on, you have to go." Rosalie's voice was firm but gentle and it drew my attention. She smiled at me and nodded encouragingly before glancing back to Edward who had just dropped his head. "Besides Jane will be there and like I said before. She's dying to talk to you." She offered me another friendly smile and didn't take her eyes off me until I nodded.

_I can do this. I can sit through dinner. Even if Edward doesn't' want me there. _

"Alright," I said. "Dinner, I'll be there."

Both Rosalie and Stephan expressed their pleasure in my decision but Edward--Edward didn't say a thing. He simply nodded and turned away, mumbling something about getting ready for the next scene.

I tried to smile, tried to act like what he just did wasn't enough to knock the wind out of me. I plastered on a fake smile and agreed happily when Stephan suggested I stay and watch the next scene. And for the next hour and a half I pretended like everything was fine. I pretended that the ache in my chest wasn't getting stronger with each glance and I pretended not to care that those glances only came a few times.

When it was eventually time to leave, I welcomed the dark interior of the SUV and bit back a silent sob as the driver started the engine.

……..

**EPOV**

"Are you going to explain to me what that was all about?" Rose asked, walking up beside me.

I just looked over at her and shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about?" I lied.

"You're kidding right?" She waited a beat and when I didn't say anything she continued. "You've been anxious all day, waiting for Bella to get here." I opened my mouth but was immediately cut off. "Don't try telling me you weren't because I'm not buying it. And you can try to tell me there's nothing going on between you two, but friendship, and I'm not buying _that_ either. You weren't on edge all morning because your _friend_ was coming to visit the set. And then when she finally does show up, you practically ignore her."

I wanted to tell her again that I didn't know what she was talking about, but I didn't. The truth was, I knew exactly what she was talking about.

Ever since Bella arrived on set I'd been on edge. And that was simply because I didn't know how to act around her. I'd been avoiding her for the past week and although I felt awful about it, I didn't know what else to do. After reading her book I knew I needed space and time to think everything over. And that's all I did, think.

I was upset and hurt that one of the few people I could trust, one of the few people I felt really knew me, had lied to me. It kept me awake at night and had my stomach in knots. All the questions, the possibilities, the confusion was too much. And I knew that if I talked to her, I'd break. It wasn't something I could to do over the phone; I had to do it in person. Besides I still wasn't a 100% positive that she _had_ lied, but in my gut I felt I was right—_knew_ I was right.

I made a plan to act as though nothing had changed between us, and to ask her to dinner that evening. That way I'd have plenty of time to think through what I wanted to say. All I had to do was figure out how to ask her, how to pull her aside while she was on set and find out what her plans were.

But when I saw her earlier, it was like time stopped. She was standing in the hallway surrounded by film crew and equipment, in a green sweater and jeans looking as beautiful as ever. She looked back at me with wide eyes and for a second I felt like I was in high school again, looking back at the girl who held every ounce of my attention. Of course with this thought, I was immediately reminded of the book and how she hadn't been honest with me. My plan faded away as the confused, upset, anxious feelings I'd had all week hit me square in the chest.

I had managed a half smile and a nod before I forced myself to look back at Vladimir and focus on what he was saying. It proved to be a lot harder than I thought. My entire being was aware of Bella's presence and, for the first time since high school, I didn't know what to say or how to act around her. And when Stephan asked if Bella would join us for dinner, I realized that if she said yes my plans wouldn't work. I might have failed at acting normal around her all day, but I couldn't fail at following through with my plan to ask her to dinner.

"I wasn't trying to ignore her." I finally said in defense, looking at Rose.

"Sure you were. If you weren't ignoring her, you would have talked to her. You would have smiled at her, and when Stephan invited her to dinner, you would have told her you wanted her to come. Instead you just stood there. So I guess you're right, you weren't ignoring her, you were just being an asshole."

"Rose. What's going on between Bella and me is complicated."

"Look," she held her hands up. "It's clear that I don't know everything but like I said before, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that there's something going on between you two. Now I'm not asking for you to tell me, but Edward, if you like her, or even if you're still trying to figure that out. You've got to tell her something. Give her something. Because right now, by the way you just acted, I'd say you've lost your chances."

I looked down the hallway where I'd last seen Bella. She'd left, saying goodbye to everyone and all I'd given her was a head nod. A feeling of panic washed over me. Obviously I hadn't thought through how my silence would be interpreted by Bella.

_Have I lost my chance? Is Rose right? _

I closed my eyes and silently pleaded that I hadn't.

"You've got a little over an hour to figure out what you're going to say to her." Rose said, interrupting my thoughts. "Because I swear if you sit silent through all of dinner, I'll beat your ass."

Managing a laugh I nodded. "I'm going to head back to the hotel. I'll see you in a little while?"

"I'll be there." She smiled.

……..

My head was spinning as I left the set, my mind full of a thousand things at once. The entire ride to the hotel I thought about what I was going to say to Bella--how I was going to get her away from everyone in order to apologize and ask if we could talk. By the time I made it to my room I had come to decision that I'd make sure to sit next to her at the table. It seemed like the easiest way to ask her quietly without having to pull her aside.

Of course none of that would work if she wouldn't talk to me. After the way I'd treated her on set, I shouldn't be surprised if she didn't.

_Way to screw things up already, Cullen. _

Running my hands through my hair in frustration, I sat down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. Rose's words filtered though my mind. "_You've got to tell her something. Give her something. Because right now, by the way you just acted, I'd say you've lost your chances."_

What could I give her? Hopefully my apology would be enough and hopefully she would finally be honest with me in return. But what if it wasn't enough?

I stood up and walked through the double glass doors into the bedroom. There, sitting on the night stand, was the little blue book that started it all. I picked it up and thumbed through the pages, stopping at random sections to read specific parts a second or third time.

Over the past week I'd had plenty of time to dissect the contents and attempt to pin point the parts I knew were real. One of the things that shocked me the most was how wrong Bella was about a lot of it. Her take on my reactions and feelings for her left me confused and I'd spent a lot of time straining to recall the way _I_ remembered it happening.

Some of the memories didn't come easily, but many of them were still vivid in my mind--especially the one at the dance junior year. It was that scene in her book that made me realize that the character of Kate and Andrew weren't just based on us, they _were_ us. And the feelings Kate had for Andrew was the way Bella felt for me.

Flipping to that section in the book, the binding gave way and the pages fell open to the exact scene. I sat down on the edge of the bed and read through her words again, looking at them with fresh eyes, even though I practically had them memorized.

"_Do you want to dance?" Andrew looked down at me, the twinkling white lights reflected in his eyes like stars winking in the night sky. _

_I pretended to glance around for Matthew. Surely I should let my date know that I was going to share the next dance with someone else, but truthfully I didn't care. If Andrew could leave his date then so could I. After all, we were friends, no matter how desperately I wanted otherwise._

"_Sure, but I should warn you I'm--" _

"_Not the best dancer?" he finished, smiling at me with a crooked grin. _

_I nodded. "Not the best dancer. I swear I get it from my mother. If my dad had this lack of coordination, they never would have let him on the force." _

"_Don't worry, Kate. I'm a good leader." He held out his hand in a way that was reminiscent of 19__th__ century etiquette. I rolled my eyes and pretended to think him ridiculous, when truthfully my insides were as soft as marshmallow. _

_Placing my hand in his, I was fairly certain he could feel the heat of my face radiating down through the tips of my fingers. Pulling in a shakey breath, I tugged at the fabric of my dress and pleaded with my feet to stay on even ground as he lead me to the dance floor. _

_There are moments in life when time ceases to exist. Everything slows down and moves as lava seeping through dark cracks. And dancing with Andrew was one of those moments. _

_The lights, the sounds, the people—everything around me faded away and all I could see and feel was him. I looked straight ahead, not trusting myself to look at his face, and concentrated on the way the thread looped through the white button on his shirt. It wasn't until I felt the squeeze of his hand in mine and the sound of his voice that I looked up. _

"_Are you having a good time?"_

_I felt his warm breath tickle my ear. It was difficult, more difficult than it's ever been for me before, to form a coherent thought with his close proximity. It took me a minute to form a simple thought. "Yeah, I guess. I'm not one for dances, but it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be." I said with a shrug, dropping my eyes._

"_Well, for what it's worth. I'm glad you came." I could hear the smile in his voice and started to lift my head when I felt him step closer to me. Or maybe I imagined it. Either way I wasn't going to protest. The heat of his body pressed against mine and it was the most comfortable and exhilarating feeling in the world. Little sparks of electricity pricked up my arms and worked their way through my entire body, setting fires along my skin. _

_We continued to move together, two bodies in perfect motion and for the first time in my life I felt graceful. I wanted to laugh and tell him that he was accomplishing the impossible, but I didn't want to interrupt the perfect bubble we were encompassed in. _

_It was as if every emotion, every happy, loving feeling I'd ever had was pulled together in this one moment. My chest felt tight, but not in an uncomfortable way. It was just so full. And my heart? My heart felt like it would explode at any minute. _

_I'd heard love described before, seen it depicted in movies and read about it in novels but I'd never felt it. Never actually knew it could feel like this. Like this strong emotion that could cripple you with happiness and change the way you see things forever. But now--I knew. _

_The overwhelming desire to tell him, rushed through me. I didn't care that he was with someone else, didn't care about what my revelation would do to our friendship. All I cared about was him knowing. _

_My mouth opened and I could feel the words forming on my tongue. I took a deep calming breath. _

"_Andrew," I said in a hushed voice. _

"_Yeah?" He stepped back and looked down at me._

"_I--"_

"_Andrew! There you are!" Tammy interrupted, her voice slicing through the bubble that had surrounded us, taking any courage that I'd had with it._

"_I've been looking all over for you," she continued. "Some guys want to go out after the dance. You up for that?" Andrew nodded and mumbled something before his eyes dashed over to me. _

"_You want to come with us, Kate?" he asked._

"_No, that's okay. I think I'll head home. I have to get up early tomorrow anyway." _

_And the idea of seeing the person I love with someone else is too much for me to stomach right now. _

"_Are you sure? I know Matthew will probably be there." _

_I wanted to scream and tell him that I wasn't interested in Matthew, that I was in love with __**him**__ but instead I just shook my head. "No, really, I'm fine." _

_Tammy leaned in and gave Andrew a kiss on the cheek before turning to walk away, leaving us both on the dance floor again. Only this time I was cautiously aware of the people around us, talking and having a good time. The two of us stood in silence, stealing casual glances at each other. _

"_So, what were you saying earlier?" he finally asked, his green eyes, meeting my brown. _

"_Oh--it was nothing—nothing," I lied. _

_He looked at me with narrowed eyes, as if trying to pull the truth from my mind. His stare was so intense so focused that for a second I thought he might actually accomplish it. Eventually his gaze softened and he looked down, shuffling his feet side to side. _

"_Alright, well. Thanks for the dance." He smiled, his lips pulling up to one side. _

_I smiled back and nodded, catching one last glimpse of his face before he turned away. I watched his retreating form and without thinking, let the words pour from my lips. _

"_I love you." _

I snapped the book shut and tossed it on the bed.

"Damn it Bella why didn't you tell me?" I asked aloud to the empty room.

I knew she wanted to tell me something that night. Could see it in her eyes and the way she looked at me.

If she'd only told me how she felt. Things would have been so different. As soon as I thought the words, I felt awful. I knew deep down that she wasn't the only one to blame. After all, I'd never told her how I felt. Sure, I'd tried before but I'd never actually done it. She had no clue of the feelings I had for her, still didn't.

_Yet. _

Without a second thought I picked up the book and walked over to the desk. Pulling open the drawers I dug through the room service menus until I found a pad of paper and pen. Then flipping open to the first chapter I started writing.

I immersed myself in high school memories. Struggling to remember even the slightest of details the way _I_ remembered them. I had no idea what Bella would think of what I was attempting, but I knew that it was important to me that she knew. That she knew things weren't always what they seemed.

-----

Some time later, I walked into the restaurant with the book tucked under my arm. My heart was racing and the palms of my hands were sweaty. I'd been in such a rush to finish and make it to the restaurant in time that I hadn't had a chance to stop and breathe.

_Relax Cullen, just relax. _I told myself while running my fingers through my hair.

Taking a deep breath, I rolled my shoulders back and focused on what I was about to do. I knew that I had to take things one step at a time. First things first, I had to get her alone so I could talk to her.

As soon as I walked into the private dining room I knew that was going to be a lot harder than I imagined. And that's because Bella was already there and every chair that surrounded her was taken.

"Well, look who decided to show up." Rose said, gesturing to the one empty chair beside her which happened to be three down from Bella.

"Sorry, I uh…must have lost track of time." I looked directly at Bella hoping to catch her attention but she didn't look in my direction. Quickly sitting down I tucked the book under the leg and leaned over to Rose.

"How late am I?"

"Forty five minutes. You haven't missed much, besides the meal of course." She said giving me an evil glare. "Oh and Stefan's glory stories about working with Tom and Katie on their new project. I swear if he says their name one more time I'm going to puke." She rolled her eyes. "Where were you anyway? Doing something important I hope?"

"You could say that." I casually ran my fingers over the binding of the book and automatically glanced at Bella.

"She hasn't said much." Rose whispered in my ear. "Just kind of came in and sat down. She and Jane talked for a little while but I couldn't hear them from down here. I take it you haven't apologized for the asshole attitude earlier?"

"Not yet. I was hoping to get a minute alone with her."

"Well you better act quickly because she's leaving."

"What?" My head snapped to the side and sure enough Bella was pushing back from the table.

"It was great getting a chance to talk with you guys, thanks again for inviting me," she was saying.

Before I could say a word, she was bidding her farewells and was halfway out the restaurant. Panic rushed over me and I quickly grabbed the book and stood up from the table, knocking my chair over in the process. I think I heard someone speak behind me but I didn't stop. I kept my eyes trained on Bella's retreating form and followed her outside.

"Bella!" I yelled, loud enough so I knew she could hear me. She didn't stop, she just kept walking. I tried again and again, and eventually on the third time she stopped. I ran up beside her, trying to catch my breath.

"What do you want, Edward?" she said, staring straight ahead and not meeting my eyes.

I was confused and pretty sure it showed by the look on my face. "Why are you leaving?"

"Because I'm done with my meal and I want to go back to my hotel," she said.

"Yeah, but weren't you going to say goodbye?"

"Goodbye." She offered what I knew was a fake smile and spun on her heel.

"Wait!" I yelled out, probably louder than necessary.

With a sigh, she paused but didn't turn around. Taking a deep breath I knew this was my chance, and given the way she was acting, it would be my only one.

_Where do I start? _

"We haven't had a chance to talk all day."

"And whose fault is that? I was on set for a few hours and you barely looked my way."

Guilt gripped me. I dropped my head and diverted my eyes. "I'm sorry, Bella. My mind was--"

"A simple sorry isn't going to be good enough." With clenched fists, she turned to face me. The look in her eyes was something I'd never seen before. Frustration and anger flashed in them. "It may have worked back in high school but we're not in high school anymore. And as an adult, ignoring someone because you have a new girlfriend is childish."

_A new girlfriend? __**This**__ time it won't work? Girlfriend? What? _

"What are you talking about?" I asked, baffled.

She rolled her eyes. "Just forget about it, Edward. The past is not important."

"It _is_ important, especially with us." I held the book up. "I read it," I said, looking her in the eyes. They went wide for a second and then relaxed.

"I figured you might." She shrugged.

"So, do you want to explain to me why you lied?"

My words seemed to physically hit her as her shoulders rolled back. "I didn't lie to you."

"Yes you did. You told me that all you did was base Kate and Andrew's _friendship_ on ours. And you told me that you never actually felt that way about me, that you made it all up for the sake of the book. _That_ was a lie."

For the first time since we'd started talking I saw the fierce gleam in her eyes soften and she actually looked scared. "How do you know that?"

"Because I read it," I repeated. "And I don't care how good of a writer you are. Some things you can't fake."

She laughed cynically. "That's what makes a good writer, Edward."

"No. There are too many things that are the same. Too many moments that we shared that were real." She shook her head in denial but I kept going. "Like the time at the dance, for example."

This seemed to catch her off guard and she froze. She didn't have to ask what I was talking about. The question was written all over her face.

"I heard you." I said, looking away from her for the first time while I remembered the past. "I heard you and I thought I imagined the whole thing. We were dancing and you were so close to me." I took a breath, remembering the way I'd felt having her that close. "You were about to tell me something and then Tanya walked up. And when I asked you what you were going to say you told me 'nothing'. I didn't believe you, but then again I had no reason not too." I looked down at her, staring directly in her eyes. "Then I walked away. I walked away and when I did I heard you. You said you loved me. At the time I swore I was just hearing things and I'm pretty positive that I'd always think that. But then I read this." I held up the book. "I read this and I finally know that I wasn't just hearing things. You _did_ say it. Why didn't you ever tell me? And why deny it when I asked you?"

She started shaking her head again and I knew what she was about to say. She was going to tell me that she wasn't lying--that I didn't know what I was talking about.

"Edward, I told you I just--"

"Don't," I said, my anger and frustration bubbling up. "Don't lie again. Just tell me. For once, just be honest with me! Be honest with yourself and tell me how you felt! How you feel."

"Why?" she yelled back. "It doesn't matter anyway. You're with the perfect Rosalie Hale."

"You don't know what you're talking about." I said, clenching my jaw tight.

"Oh, don't I?"

"No. You don't. You don't know what you're talking about now and clearly you didn't know what you were talking about nine years ago." I stepped forward and placed the book in her hands. Without saying another word I turned around and walked back into the restaurant.

**BPOV**

I watched Edward until he disappeared inside the restaurant and then looked down with tear-filled eyes at the book he'd handed me--my book. I wanted to laugh at the situation I'd gotten myself into. For years, I'd both feared and longed for him to know the truth and twice when faced with the opportunity to tell him, I'd chickened out.

I wanted to tell him, desperately--I did. But after the way he'd acted today and the news of him and Rosalie, I found it pointless. If he wasn't going to be my friend anymore anyway, why bother? I got dressed and ready for dinner knowing that seeing him there, ignoring me and talking to her, would be painful. And it was.

At first I was thankful when he didn't show. I thought that I'd be able to escape the entire situation. But then he came and sat down next to her. Watching the two of them with their heads close together and talking made my head spin. Heaviness set on my chest and I couldn't breathe. Suddenly, getting out of the restaurant was the most important thing in my life.

I finished the last of my meal and left after a quick farewell, anxious to get outside and take a breath of fresh air. I thought for certain I was imagining him calling after me and when I realized that he actually was, I felt confused. Why would he come after me now after ignoring me all day? I felt myself breaking down with every word I spoke until I he said that we hadn't had a chance to talk all day. When he said that something inside of me snapped and I got angry.

"Hadn't had a chance to talk." I repeated aloud into the cold night air and rolled my eyes. "I know exactly whose fault that was and it wasn't mine."

With a frustrated sigh, I adjusted my jacket and started walking up the street to my hotel. As I walked I told myself that I was right for handling the situation as I did. And by the time I reached my room I almost believed myself.

Almost.

The problem was I couldn't erase the image of his face from my mind. I couldn't erase the way his eyes looked and the way his voice pleaded with me to be honest with him. I couldn't ignore the shock I still felt in hearing that he did in fact hear me tell him all those years ago that I loved him. And there was definitely no forgetting his final words, _"you don't know what you're talking about." _

Pushing open my door, I flicked on a light and walked straight for the bed where I collapsed face first. My arm hung lazily off the corner and I felt the smooth cover of my book slip between my fingers as I relaxed. It fell to the ground and with a soft thud and was followed by the sound of rustling paper. I lifted my head and leaned over, peering over the edge at the open book.

_What is that? _With narrowed, confused eyes I reached down and picked it up. Flipping through a few chapters I stopped when something caught my eye. Tucked between two pages was a piece of loose leaf paper that I recognized from the hotel. My first reaction was to throw it away but then I saw my name. Out of curiosity I began reading and after the first four lines I stopped. I was fairly certain of what I was reading but was so shocked I couldn't process it--couldn't wrap my mind around it.

_Did he write this? _I wondered in disbelief even though I already knew the answer.

Written in Edwards hand was a brief but detailed description of the first time he saw me. His first thoughts of the _'girl with pretty dark eyes who drew cool doodles in class'_. I felt myself blush and laugh when I read that he had gone home told his mom about me after our first meeting.

After reading the short paragraph that was written I found myself wanting more. I flipped to the next chapter, where I describe Matthew asking Kate out for the first time and discovered another sheet of paper.

"_I hated whenever Mike talked to you. I didn't think you were interested in him but I wasn't sure and that irritated me more than anything." _

Further down the page he commented on what it was like watching me in gym class.

"…_couldn't take my eyes off you. Even though you never hit the ball there was something about watching you that always made me smile. Plus you had amazing legs in those shorts."_

I continued to read page after page and still couldn't get enough. He made comments and explanations throughout the entire book, telling me everything from his point of view. Each one left me more in shock than the last.

When I reached the end I closed the book and stared at the wall.

_How could this be true? Did he really feel this way and I just never knew, never saw it?_

Without a moments hesitation I knew what I needed to do. I needed to know. It was the moment of truth—literally. We needed to clear the air. Anything would be better than this uncertainty. I grasped the book tight in my hand, jumped up and ran from my room, not even bothering to put on my coat.

By the time I made it back to the restaurant, I was panting and out of breath. Forcing myself to take a calming breath I inhaled and made my way back to the private dining room. As soon as I walked in, my heart sank. He wasn't there.

"He went back to the hotel a few minuets ago." A voice startled me and I spun around to find Rosalie putting on her coat.

"Oh, okay." I gave a brief nod and started to leave when she spoke up.

"If you need to get a hold of him, he's in room 515."

"Thanks," I said with a hesitant smile.

"No problem." She smiled back and slipped a hat over her head before walking past me and out of the restaurant.

I waited a minute to catch my bearings and decide what I was going to say. A thousand thoughts and questions barreled through my mind at once and it was practically impossible to come to any solid conclusion. Then I realized that it didn't matter. I'd figure it out when I got there. Stepping out into the cold night air, I half ran half walked back to where I knew Edward would be.

My breathing was a little more under control when I stepped off the elevator but my heart was still pounding in a frantic rhythm. I was fairly certain it had nothing to do with my hurried pace and everything to do with the fact that I was beyond nervous. The voice in my head was yelling for me to take a minute and relax, to just sit and think things through before knocking on his door. My body however was acting of its own accord. My feet continued on their path and before I knew it, I was standing in front of his door, knocking.

The sound of my breath pulling in and out of my lungs was soon paired with the footfalls from behind the door. I held my breath and listened as the latch slid to the side and then faster than expected, the door swung open.

"Bella," he asked, looking out at me. "What are you doing here?"

I blinked back at him, not sure exactly what to say. "I umm--I wanted to talk to you for a minute." I pulled the book to my chest as if it would offer me some protection. "If that's okay." I added quickly.

"Sure," he took a step back and waited for me to walk in before closing the door behind me. I took a few steps in and stopped not entirely sure of where to go.

"I thought you were done talking with me," he said, walking past, brushing me gently with his shoulder.

"No," I shook my head. "You were the one who walked away. I wasn't done."

He turned and looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Okay fine. I was done talking. But I'm not done now." I bit down on my bottom lip and dropped my head before looking back up at him. "What is this?" I held up the book he'd given me and waited for him to speak.

"Well, obviously it's your book. I just added a few details," he said with a shrug.

"Details." I repeated and tossed the word around in my head. "Are these _details_ real--I mean, the truth--I mean did you--did you feel that way?" I swallowed thickly and looked down at the tops of my shoes.

I heard him sigh and was aware that he'd walked to the other side of the room. "Yes," he finally said.

My eyes went wide and I snapped my head up. "What? But you--you never said anything. Why didn't you ever say anything?" I couldn't stop myself from yelling.

"I should be asking you the same question. Oh wait, I forgot," he said, cynically. "You never felt that way; you just made it all up for your book." The look in his eyes was just as it was earlier. Dark, angry and the most beautiful I'd ever seen them.

"What was I supposed to say? You were with Tanya!"

"I wasn't with her all four years. And obviously, I'm not with her now. You should have said something!" His hands went from pointing at me to running through his hair in frustration.

"Oh, so I should have just walked up to you in the hallway and said, 'sorry Edward I know you're with Tanya and everything but I'm totally in love with you. I have been since freshman year.' Yeah, that would have been classic. I would have made a complete fool of myself and everything would have changed between us. Our friendship could have been ruined and you--."

Edward face pulled into a scowl and I stopped talking. His fists were clenched by his side and he took a step toward me. I'd never been afraid of Edward in my life, but the way he was looking at me sent chills up my spine.

"What are you doing?" I breathed out in barely a whisper.

He took another step closer to me, and I could feel the heat of his body radiating off his chest. I tilted my head back slightly so I could see his eyes as they bore into mine. "I'm _ending_ our friendship." Without another word he closed what little space there was between us and pressed his body flush against mine. One of his arms encircled my waist and I felt the pull of his fingers on the back of my neck as he brought my face to his.

The internal voice in the back of my head told me to close my eyes and enjoy what was about to happen, but I ignored it. If I was going to be kissed by Edward Cullen, I was going to remember the way he looked the moment our lips touched.

I kept my eyes locked with his until I felt the soft pressure of his lips against mine, smooth yet firm. Then they fluttered shut as he continued to kiss me. My head felt light and I was fairly certain I was floating, even though I knew it was impossible. I'd imagined kissing Edward for years; But I never imagined it could actually be this amazing. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better I felt the tip of his tongue brush against my bottom lip. I parted my lips and tasted him for the first time, moaning into his mouth.

The soft scruff of his jaw rubbed against my cheeks, adding to the sensations that engulfed me. Wrapping my arms around his neck I pulled myself as close to him as possible, wanting nothing more than to crawl inside of him. He responded to my eagerness with his own and held me firmly in his grasp while twisting his tongue with mine.

My heart hammered loudly against my chest and I knew I was gasping for air, but I didn't care. I was kissing him, finally kissing him and my entire body felt like it was going to explode.

The sound of the phone ringing cut through the room and we both groaned while pulling apart. Our chests were rising and falling in panting breaths and I found myself holding back a giggle. Edward dropped his head and pressed his lips to my forehead before brushing his thumb across my cheek.

"You have no idea how much I hate to do this but I've got to get that. I'm waiting for a call from Kate to let me know when I'm supposed to be on set tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, sometimes it's easier to get certain buildings when we don't have to worry about people getting in the way."

I nodded my head and smiled up at him before dropping my arms from his shoulder. He stepped away and I watched as he walked into his room to answer the phone. As soon as he was out of view I collapsed on the couch. The girly side of me wanted to scream my excitement into a pillow but I figured that wasn't really an option at the moment. Instead, I settled for smiling like a fool.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice that Edward had come back into the room until I heard his voice.

"Sorry about that." I looked up at him and felt my breath catch. He was leaning against the door jam, his legs crossed at the ankle, smiling down at me.

I shook my head. "No, no don't be sorry. I completely understand."

"I hope you're just as forgiving when I tell you the rest."

"The rest?" I asked.

"I've got to get going. We weren't planning on starting until a little later but Vladimir moved the time up."

Disappointment washed over me. I knew he had no control over his schedule but I was sad that I wouldn't get more time with him. Before I said a word, Edward crossed the room and sat down next to me.

"Can I see you later? Tomorrow sometime?"

"Yeah, of course." I said with a nod.

"Good because I think it's about time we go on our first date. What do you think?"

I felt my face get warm and I knew I must be the color of a tomato. Not trusting myself to speak I simply nodded my head.

"Alright. I'll call you tomorrow then." He stood up and reached for my hand, pulling me off the couch and into his arms in one swift motion. As soon as I was in his arms I buried myself into his chest and breathed him in. I felt like I was in a dream, like all of this couldn't possibly be happening.

"Promise me that we'll see each other and you won't go back to giving me the silent treatment?" My question was meant to be lighthearted and funny, but I couldn't keep the worried tone completely disguised.

"Bella," he said, cupping my cheek in his hand. "I've waited for nine years. I'm not going anywhere." He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine and any worry or fear I had melted away.

Twenty minutes later we were still kissing when I heard my cell phone ringing.

"Now it's your fault," he said, smiling against my lips.

I placed another quick peck on his lips before digging into my back pocket. It was a number I didn't' recognize.

"Hello?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Bella?"

"Yes, this is she. Who's this?"

"It's me, Rose. Sorry to call you but I've been trying Edward cell for the last twenty minutes and he's not answering. I hope you don't mind me making a few calls to get your number, but I knew that it would be the only way to get a hold of him."

Panic and guilt hit me in the chest and I took a step away from Edward. _What have I done? What have I done?_

"Bella? Bella, are you still there?" Concern laced her voice and I didn't know what to say.

"Yeah, I'm, here. Sorry I was just--"

"Distracted by Edwards lips? Yeah I can see how that would be a problem."

"Wait, what?" I asked, shaking my head in attempt to make sense of her words.

"Don't tell me you've been in his hotel room for almost an hour and you haven't kissed each other yet. At least tell me he's apologized for being an asshole earlier."

"Rose, I--I--I don't…" I looked to Edward silently pleading for help.

Before I said another word my phone was out of my hands and in Edwards. He turned his back and said a few quick things to Rose before snapping the phone shut.

"Sorry about that. She takes her job as my new friend very seriously," he said with a laugh.

"How did she know that--what did she--wait--friends?"

"Yes, friends," he repeated. I stood in shocked silence, still not believing that I'd been so wrong. All that worry over the past week was for nothing.

"How did she know?" I eventually asked, once my mind cleared.

"It's a long story. Can I tell you tomorrow when we're together?"

"Tomorrow." I nodded.

Looking up into his eyes he grasped my hand in his and, for the first time in my life, I knew that Edward and I were going to have a lot of tomorrows--together.

* * *

***wipes away tear* FINALLY!! RIGHT?? I can't tell you how good it felt to write that. **

**It'll be a little while for the next update (surprise, surprise) But it IS the holidays. So I think I'll leave Bella and Edward making out for a little while. heh. **

**Have a great holiday!!**

**Oh and leave a review, tell me what you think!**


	18. Chapter 18

**No you aren't seeing things...this really is an update. **

**Thanks to Shwriteme and her Beta skills. And anniej13 for pretty much holding my hand while I wrote this. **

* * *

**Chapter 18**

I kissed Edward. I mean, I really, _really _kissed him. I'd felt his tongue against mine while his arms wrapped around me and pulled me tight. And I'd heard his heavy breaths in my ear as he kissed my jaw and neck. It was the best thing ever. So good in fact that a few times I was pretty certain I was close to passing out. But every time I felt my knees get weak he'd hold me closer, or kiss me in a way that made my entire body tingle and come to life. I wanted to attack him. I wanted to push him down on the bed and rip off his clothes. And I could tell by the way he was kissing me, that he wanted it too. But I knew we couldn't-at least not yet. Walking away from him last night was the hardest thing I'd ever done and I know the only reason I did, was because he'd promised to see me the next day.

_Today, _I thought, as I rolled over in bed. The hotel room was still dark from the floor length blackout curtains, giving me no sign of the hour. Peeking out from under the blankets the clock on the nightstand announced in glowing red that it was only 8:00 am. Instead of grumbling at the early awakening, while on a semi-vacation, I sighed in delight and dwelt on every detail about last night. I placed my fingers to my mouth and ran them over my bottom lip, remembering the way his tongue felt against it-soft, wet and eager.

My happy musings were interrupted by the sound of my phone vibrating along the nearby table top. Reaching out, I fumbled in the darkness until I found it. I squinted into the bright light from the screen that cut through the dark room and tried to focus. I blinked twice and when my vision finally adjusted I saw his name. With a smile I pressed the button.

_**U awake? –E**_

My stomach flipped and I typed back a response.

_**Yep. **_

_**Morning, what are you doing? **_

_**Right now?**_

_**Yes, right now **_

Looking down at myself I laughed and decided to use the very words he'd said to me not long ago. _**Lying in bed, thinking of you. **_

_**Trying to earn your title of Edward Cullen specialist? **_

_**Yes**_

_**In that case, last night must have been very educational. **_

The thought of last night made my body warm and I felt my cheeks burn. _**It was, very. Thank you. **_

_**No-thank **_**you**_**. But I should tell you, I still require more research and time out in the field with you. So if you don't mind…**_

My eyes went wide as I deciphered the possible meaning behind his words. Parts of my body that wanted to feel the touch of his hands tingled and the butterflies took flight in my stomach.

I was typing back a response when my phone rang in my hands. "Hi," My voice was groggy and I smiled in embarrassment, even though I knew he couldn't see me. "I was just responding to you."

"I figured since you're awake, this would be faster."

"Yeah," I agreed, biting on my bottom lip while thinking of something to say. "Are you usually an early riser or do you have to be on set this morning?"

"It depends on what you consider early." He laughed. "I'm what you'd consider the typical male. I like my sleep."

Rolling my eyes I bit back the guffaw that was threatening to escape. Edward was anything but _typical_ and the fact that he thought he was, only made me like him more. "Alright so you enjoy your sleep. Then I'm guessing you're awake because you have to be on set?"

"Yep. I'm getting ready to leave."

"They really work you hard, don't they? Late last night and then early this morning," I said. Before coming to Portland I knew he would be busy and that I probably wouldn't get much time with him and I'd come to grips with that. But now, things were different. Everything was different now that he'd kissed me. I wanted to see him again, and kiss him again and feel his hands on me and I only had two days left for that. It wasn't enough.

"We've had a few busy days of filming but it's supposed to let up a little bit. At least tonight I don't have to be on set."

I held my breath and wondered if he was going to bring up our date. We hadn't really discussed plans last night and I was afraid that maybe he'd be too tired.

"So uhh-I'll see you later?" he asked, before I had a chance to speak.

"Definitely." I smiled, knowing he could hear the happiness in my voice and not caring in the least.

"Would you mind meeting me on set?" He paused. "I know it's not ideal but I'm not sure when I'll finish up and-"

"No, I don't mind." I said, cutting him off, "I can meet you there. What time?"

"I'm not really sure. How about five o'clock? I'll send someone to come get you. Is that okay?"

"Five sounds great."

"Good. It's a date then. See you later, Bella."

I said my goodbyes and hung up before rolling over and screaming into my pillow.

"A date." I said out loud. This time I'd be going out with Edward and there wouldn't be any confusion or question. I wouldn't have to remind myself that he wasn't interested or that we were just friends. This time I _knew _he was interested. I _knew _he wanted to go out with me. This was going to be a _date_.

Grabbing my phone, I sent a quick text to Alice telling her to call me when she woke up and then headed into the bathroom. By the time I was done my phone was ringing.

"You kissed him." She stated before I even said hello.

"Well good morning to you too." I feigned surprise and had to fight to hold back my laugh.

"Are you kidding me? It's been torture waiting for your call. I swear I kept Jasper up half the night with my tossing and turning. I just knew something happened."

"Always so insightful." I teased, still not telling her what she wanted.

"Bella." She scolded, and then grew silent, waiting for me to give in.

"He kissed me," I said without another moment's hesitation. "We kissed and it was perfect." I sighed and sat down on my bed.

"I knew it!" she squealed. "When are you seeing him again?"

"Tonight, we have a date." I liked hearing that word and couldn't stop saying it.

"I'm guessing that yesterday's conversation went well then?"

"Kind of." My brows pulled together as I remembered how the conversation started. "It didn't go quite like I thought it would. But it ended better than I imagined so I can't complain." My voice drifted off happily as I once again thought about the way Edward looked as he stepped toward me, glorious and angry and ready to kiss me.

"And _this_ is when you're supposed to give me details." Her voice was inpatient and desperate. "I'm the best friend that convinced you to tell him, remember?"

With a shake of my head and a laugh I started from the beginning, telling her all about the awkward moment when I first saw him, right up until the moment he ended our argument by kissing me.

"Wow," she sighed.

I fell back onto my bed and pulled the covers up over my bare legs. "I know-I still can't believe it. I keep replaying it over and over in my mind."

"What time are seeing him tonight?"

I exhaled pitifully. "Not until five. I'm gonna go check out the sites a little and waste some time."

We spent the next fifteen minutes in mindless conversation and discussed her choice of getting a seaweed wrap or the sea salt scrub.

With last minute wardrobe suggestions and a promise to let her know how things went tonight, I hung up with Alice. Our brief conversation left me feeling giddy and ready for five o'clock to be here.

Hoping that the time would indeed pass quickly, I grabbed my things and headed out.

…..

Luckily, the morning and afternoon whizzed by and before I knew it, I was walking through the lobby and climbing into the backseat of the awaiting SUV.

The drive to the set felt just as long as I remembered from yesterday, even though it draws only ten minutes. And just like yesterday I had butterflies. Except this time it was different. I wasn't worried about seeing Edward. Today, I couldn't wait to see him. My body hummed in anticipation to see his face, to look into his eyes and to feel his lips again.

I wondered how he'd react when he saw me. Not that I expected him to kiss me in front of everyone on set, but I still wondered if he'd act any different. I knew the way gossip spread and the paparazzi were everywhere. So I couldn't expect much. In fact, just thinking about all the drama that could unfold made my head hurt. Instead, I just pushed those thoughts aside and focused on the important thing-being with Edward.

When we finally pulled up to the school surrounded by trailers and tents, the anticipation I felt only increased. Simply knowing that he was right inside made my heart thrum quickly. The driver was at my door, opening it before I had a chance to move. I tucked my jacket and purse under my arm and slid across the grey leather seat.

"Bella."

Following the sound of my name, I turned and saw the same blonde girl from yesterday walking toward me. Kate was her name, I remembered.

"Hi." I smiled, glad to have someone greet me. I might have been on the set yesterday, but I didn't know my way around and had no clue where Edward would be.

"Hey." she grinned back, tucking her hair behind her ear. "How are you today?" Her question was innocent but the glint in her eyes said she knew more.

"Umm, I'm doing good-great actually." My cheeks felt warm and I looked down at the coat in my hands, absentmindedly playing with the smooth edge of fabric.

"Edward wanted to meet you but he got stuck finishing some reshoots from earlier. He should be done soon though." She was about to say something else but her cell phone rang. With apologetic eyes she answered. She motioned for me to follow her and we walked along the concrete path that wound around the side of the school. We passed a few trailers and were almost to the steps when one of the trailer doors opened and Rosalie stepped out.

When she saw me her eyes lit up. "Hey, I was wondering if I'd get a chance to see you tonight." She glanced at Kate who was still on the phone. "Is she taking you to see Edward?"

I nodded. "He's still finishing up."

"I'm on my way to make-up, why don't you come with me and wait. I'd love to pick your brain some more."

"Sure." I looked at Kate just as she ended the call.

"Okay, Emmett. I'll let him know. See you tomorrow," she said before hanging up.

My ears perked upon hearing the familiar name. "Was that Emmett Cullen?" I asked, not holding back my grin.

"Yep."

Before she could say another word Rosalie piped in. "Edwards's brother?" she asked with raised brows. "I've heard a little about him. Do you know him?" She turned to me.

"Mmhmm." I nodded. "He was ahead of me in high school but everyone knew Emmett. He's kind of hard to miss." I added with a laugh.

"That good looking?" she asked.

"Good looking, funny, tall, pretty much all muscle," I said. "Last time I saw him he was even bigger than I imagined. Not surprised with his line of work."

"What does he do?"

"Personal trainer," Kate interjected. "He's worked his magic on Edward a few times in the past. In fact that's why I was just talking to him. He's flying in tomorrow."

I peered over at Rosalie who was looking at me with a smirk. Without saying a word we walked past another few trailers and paused outside of one that I assumed was make-up. Kate stepped in first and when I entered, found her wrapped in the arms of a tall man with sandy blonde hair.

"Would you two like some privacy?" Rosalie spoke up from behind me, laughing as she let the door swing shut.

"I'd love some." The man said, smacking Kate's butt. "But if I don't have you on set in time, Stephan will have my head." The three shared a laugh and then he met my eyes. "I'm Garrett." He reached out to shake my hand. "You must be Bella."

Taking his hand in mine I returned his smile. "That's me."

"Bella's gonna stay and chat while you make me beautiful." Rosalie plopped herself down in the chair.

Garrett shrugged. "Sounds good to me."

Kate gave him a kiss on the cheek and turned to leave. "I'll let Edward know you're here, Bella." She winked then stepped out.

I casually peered over at Rosalie to see if she'd noticed Kate's departing wink. She looked back at me through the mirrors reflection, smiling but not saying a word.

Sitting down in an empty chair in the corner, I faintly listened to the idle chatter between Garrett and Rosalie. Try as I might, I couldn't focus on a word they said. I was too aware of the seconds as they ticked by, each one dragging on agonizingly slow. It wasn't until I heard his name that I looked up.

"You're meeting Edward here?" Garrett asked, fiddling with what looked like tubes of foundation.

"Umm, we…" I stammered, sitting up straight and not knowing what to say. I wasn't even sure what Edward and I were to each other.

"Did you know Edward had a brother, Garrett?" Rosalie piped in, effectively changing the direction of the conversation.

"You mean Emmett? Sure, I've met him before." He nodded.

"Kate just said he's flying in tomorrow."

"Good, then I can get the fifty bucks he owes me."

"Who owes you fifty bucks?" Edwards's velvet smooth voice caught me off guard. I hadn't even heard the door open.

"Apparently your brother owes Garrett some money." Rosalie answered.

"Are you sure about that?" He stepped into the trailer, his wide frame filling the small doorway. "He's usually always right on with his bets."

He hadn't noticed me sitting silently in the chair, so I took the moment to look at him unabashedly-to absorb every detail. The dark grey shirt he wore clung to him perfectly, showing off his broad shoulders and back. I could almost see the muscles shift beneath the fabric and it was easy to imagine how he'd look without a shirt on. Sure, I'd seen him in movies where he'd been without one, but for the first time, I realized that I might actually get to see that chest in person, in the flesh.

The thought was thrilling and made my stomach flutter. Pressing my thighs together I swallowed and shifted in my seat. My small motion was enough to catch Edwards's eye. He paused, mid sentence, and turned to face me. Immediately, I was granted his playful smirk. I had no clue what he had been saying because as soon as my eyes locked with his it was only _him._

He finished his sentence and took a step in my direction. "Hey."

I felt my cheeks get warm and try as I could there was no keeping the huge grin off my face. "Hi," I half whispered back.

"Have you been waiting long?"

_Only for nine years. _Keeping my thoughts to myself I shook my head. "Not too long."

Edward nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. "You ready to go?" he asked, glancing at Rosalie and Garrett briefly before meeting my eyes again.

I stood and took a step toward him, silently telling him I was.

"Catch you guys later," Edward said with a lift of his chin and turned to the door.

Giving both Garrett and Rosalie one last smile and a "nice to meet you," I hurried after Edward and stepped outside. The sun was still bright in the sky, warming our shoulders as we walked side by side.

"How did filming go this morning?" I looked up at him, surprised at how much I had to tilt my head.

"Pretty good. Vladimir and Stephan are great to work with. Makes the whole process easier."

"I bet it does. They're really nice." I agreed.

He nodded but kept his eyes forward, never looking down at me. I however didn't look away, I couldn't. In the light of day, I was able to see him so clearly-the sharp angle of his jaw, the feint lines that appeared on his forehead and around his eyes when he squinted in the sun. He was so good looking it was almost unbelievable. I'd never wanted to kiss him so badly in my life.

At that second his green eyes flashed to mine. I stayed locked in his gaze for a few seconds before changing my focus to the concrete beneath my feet. Gawking at him while he wasn't paying attention was one thing, but I couldn't do it while he was staring back at me. It made me feel too exposed. Even though Edward finally knew the truth—that he was playing in a movie about my undying love for him, I couldn't help but feel like he could see right through to my soul. It was unnerving. I knew now that he had feelings for me as well, but things were still new between us. Sure, we'd crossed over the friendship line last night but now we were in a whole new territory. I was nervous and, by the way he kept running his fingers through his hair, so was he.

Before he could mention my obvious staring, I asked about Emmett coming to visit.

"He's getting here tomorrow."

"You must be excited to spend some time with him," I said.

"I would be even more excited if he wasn't going to spend the next few weeks kicking my ass in shape."

At the mention of his training, the image of a sweaty Edward popped into my mind. _Oh dear, please let that be something I get to see. _

"He's that tough?" I asked, blinking slowly, as if that could clear the vivid thoughts from my mind.

"It's his job. He has to be."

I nodded. "That makes sense. Even if he _is_ your brother."

"Maybe you'll be able to sweet talk him-convince him to go easy on me." He nudged me playfully with his elbow. "He always did like you."

"Are you saying I have some pull?" I asked with a smirk. "He would listen to me?"

Edward looked at me with curious eyes. "Maybe."

"Well in that case-" I paused. "You better me extra nice to me."

His jaw dropped in mock horror. "You're brutal."

"What can I say, I play hard," I said with a shrug.

He laughed then, and the sound caused a flutter in my stomach. I always loved his laugh.

We made our way to the front of the school and Edward slowed his steps.

"Alright, here's the plan," he said. "I'm going to get into that white van over there," he motioned across the parking lot, "and you're going to get back in the black SUV you came in. Lamani will take you through the neighborhood and I'll meet you. I trust him. And I know it's stupid, but I really don't feel like have the papz following us around all night." He ran his fingers through his hair again. "I'm going to try and lose them."

I nodded. "Okay. I'll uh- see you soon then."

Edward nodded and he stepped around me, brushing the tips of his fingers along my forearm. It was the first time he'd touched me today and it sent chills up my spine. I hesitated for only a moment before turning around just in time to see him get into the car.

Just as Edward suspected a group of men were waiting, cameras ready. They swarmed the van, trying in vain to get his attention. Attempting to get a single shot of the one person I'd be spending the next few hours with. Alone.

EPOV

I climbed into the back of the van and silently cursed myself. I was nervous and pissed off for not grabbing Bella and kissing her like I wanted to-like I'd been thinking about doing all day. I'd thought about touching her and tasting her so much this morning that it left me uncomfortably hard. Even after rubbing one off in the shower, it didn't weaken the feelings. I was anxious to see her again, and it was a new feeling for me.

As eager as I was this morning, things changed slightly after I got to set and thought about it. The last thing I felt like dealing with was the questions and the speculation that was sure to arise if I did in fact kiss Bella like I wanted. There were people everywhere and I'd learned over the years that a camera lens can zoom far past security gates. I had told Kate, but even those details were minimal. Other than her, Rose was the only one on set who knew something was going on between Bella and me and I preferred to keep it that way. I wanted to keep things between us and not share it with the entire world.

"I'm pretty sure we're in the clear, Mr. Cullen." The driver looked back at me through the rearview mirror.

I turned around to double check and make sure we weren't followed and then told him where we were meeting the other car. When we pulled around the corner, the SUV was already there and I could barely make out Bella's silhouette in the back seat. I felt myself smiling and the nerves started to settle. Thanking the driver, I quickly hopped out and walked up to the driver's side door, which opened as I approached.

"Thanks." I nodded to Lamani, thankful that he was willing to put his job as security on the side to play chauffer. I climbed in behind the wheel. As soon as the door closed and it was just Bella and me, I felt the tension in my shoulders release. "You aren't gonna stay back there the whole time are you?" I turned around in the seat, taking in Bella's surprised face. "I usually don't like to play chauffeur while on a date but I will if you insist."

She rolled her eyes and that familiar slight hint of pink spread over her cheeks. Without saying a word she tossed her bag at me and maneuvered between the seats. I tried to keep my eyes off her ass but I couldn't. Not when it was perfect and right in my face.

"That was a pretty slick move you pulled back there." She moved her hair out of her eyes and looked at me.

I was momentarily confused, wondering if she was referring to me checking out her ass and felt my own face heat up. After a moment I realized what she was talking about. "Ahh, the duck and dodge move. I've had some practice over the years. They can be pretty relentless when they want a shot."

"I bet."

"You've had some experience with it. What, with being a famous author and everything." I winked.

"Yeah since our professions are _so_ similar." She smiled.

I mainly kept my eyes on the road as I drove, but I couldn't keep myself from looking over at her. Clearly she didn't see herself the way I, or others, did. "Don't be so modest. I've seen the way people clamor to have you sign their books. You coming to set yesterday had everyone a buzz. That's all anyone could talk about."

She shook her head. "Still, it's not the same. I couldn't imagine getting all the attention you do. It would be-insane."

I ignored the way her words struck me, and smirked instead. "Good thing we lost the crazies with the cameras then huh? Wouldn't want them ruining our date."

It was the second time I'd pointed out that we were on a date, but I figured I'd waited long enough for this moment. Might as well be straightforward about it. Just in case my tongue in her mouth last night didn't show her that I was interested enough.

"Where are we going anyway?" She sat up in her seat and looked around.

"Just this small place I found a couple a days ago."

"Small place? That's all the clues you're going to give me?

Her curiosity made me laugh. Especially since where I was taking her really wasn't that amazing. It was however, perfect. I knew as soon as I saw it. "Yes, that's all I'm giving you. We'll be there in a minute. It's close by."

"All right," she paused, "so, how's your family?"

"Pretty good. Mom's busy with another charity event for the hospital."

"Another one?"

I nodded. "An Easter egg hunt for the kids. She wants to make it an annual thing."

"That's great. She should call my mom. I bet she'd love to help out with something like that, especially since it's for Easter. She's crazy when it comes to candy."

"Chocolate." I said, remembering her mom's candy craze.

"What about it?"

"You brought some to school every day for an entire month."

"You remember that?"

"How could I forget? Not only did you offer me a piece of chocolate every day, but the scent of it clung to you. I swore you were bathing in the stuff just to torture me."

Bella was silent for a moment and when she spoke, her voice was soft but sultry. "Maybe I _was_ bathing in it." She teased.

I looked at her sexy half smile and shook my head. "That's just cruel. You have no idea how hard you made things for me-for all the boys in our class for that matter."

"Oh come on, like you didn't do plenty of things to drive us girls crazy."

"I didn't."

"Uh-huh. _Sure_ you didn't."

"I didn't, I swear."

"You mean you never took your shirt off after a hard practice when you knew we were watching?"

"Sure I did, if I was sweaty." I shrugged, not understanding what that had to do with anything.

She hummed in response. "Exactly."

"Taking off my shirt because I was sweaty is nothing compared to bathing in chocolate."

She laughed. "I didn't bathe in chocolate, and it's not my fault if the scent clung to me. It was however, your fault for stripping in front of us."

I pulled into a parking spot and killed the engine. "That bothered you?" When she didn't respond right away I turned toward her.

"I didn't say it bothered me." Her voice trailed off quietly. She still wasn't looking at me so I waited for her to finish. "It was just-hard to focus-on anything else."

"Yeah well." I reached forward and tucked her hair behind her ear so I could see her better. "You distracted me all the time."

Her eyes grew wide and kind of glazed over as she looked at me. I wanted to kiss her, so I did.

Her lips were just as soft as they were last night and when I slipped my tongue in her mouth, she let me. Bella was a good kisser. I'd always imagined she would be, but now I knew it. She was _good. _Good, soft and _eager_. When her hands grabbed hold of my forearms, I let my want for her take over and leaned in, pulling her closer.

She tightened her grip and then made a sound in the back of her throat-a quiet moan that sounded like some kind of plea. Her touch and that simple sound went straight through my body and, just like that, I was hard.

Somewhere in the back of my mind a voice told me to calm down and get some control considering I was going to be walking into a public establishment in a few minutes. I didn't want to listen to that voice. I wanted to keep kissing Bella and I wanted to pull her on top of me so she could _feel _what her little sounds did to me, but I couldn't. I couldn't because I had somewhat of a schedule planned out for us tonight and as much as I wanted to do all those things to her, I didn't want to do them in the front seat of a car in a parking lot.

"We should probably head inside," I said against her mouth, not wanting to stop.

She sighed again and pulled back, licking her red lips before looking at me. "Oh, all right."

"Believe me, it's not because I want to stop what we're doing. But I do have plans for us tonight."

As if my words finally made her realize that we had actually arrived, she leaned forward to get a better look at where we were. I looked at the restaurant and held back a laugh. It was definitely nondescript. White chipped paint with a red sign overhead that read Diner. Not necessarily the most romantic place to have a first date. But, when I passed by it on one of my first days here, it immediately reminded me of the local Diner in Forks. After asking around, I found out that they made killer burgers and shakes. Which I knew was one of Bella's favorites.

"Word has it they make really good shakes."

Bella's eyes grew wide and she smiled wide. She knew I remembered. "Sounds perfect."

I hurried around the car and met her just as she slammed the door shut. "It kind of reminds me of the one back home."

I nodded. "It does. Although something tells me the pie won't be as good as Sue's."

"Mmm, I love Sue's pies. I swear she laced the cherry one with something addictive."

"I'm pretty sure she put something in each of them. My mom still begs her for her secret every time she sees her."

"Maybe I'll have my mom start working on her too. They can tag team her. She's gotta break at some point, right?" Bella's eyes were bright and she smiled up at me.

She was happy. It showed in her eyes and seeing her happy made me feel the same way.

Without hesitating I stepped closer and took her hand. "Let's go eat. I'm starving."

It wasn't crowded inside and for that I was thankful. Having a recognizable face always made things a little more difficult and I wanted tonight to just be about Bella and me. The short waitress with wispy graying hair didn't give me a second glance and led us to a booth in the back. We slid onto opposite benches and Bella immediately picked up her menu, getting lost behind its laminated pages.

"I bet they have great breakfasts here. I've always loved Diner breakfasts. Big fluffy pancakes and hash browns. And the bacon is always super crispy."

I watched her wide eyes as she rambled and got excited over crispy bacon of all things. When I didn't say anything she looked up at me. It was obvious I had been staring and her cheeks turned pink at the realization. "Not a fan of breakfast foods?" Her eyes dropped for a second but quickly came back to me.

"No, I like breakfast," I smirked, "especially crispy bacon. I bet if you ask, they'll make you some."

Her eyes narrowed playfully. "Quit teasing."

She wasn't mad, I could tell. The truth was I liked teasing her, especially now that things had changed between us. I wasn't worried about saying something I shouldn't and not knowing how she'd respond. That unknown pressure was lifted somewhat and it was nice.

Before I could tell her that I liked watching her reactions to my teasing the waitress arrived to take our order. Bella ordered exactly what I thought she would. It made me smile knowing that her tastes hadn't changed over the years.

"What's the smile for?" she asked, picking up the napkin wrapped silverware.

"Just glad you're still the same."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Bacon cheeseburger and a chocolate shake." I raised an eyebrow.

"I know what I like." She shrugged. "And you shouldn't talk-cheeseburger with extra cheese and pickles, hold the tomato."

I shouldn't have been surprised that she remembered, but I was. We'd been to the Diner back in Forks together only a few times and each time it was with a large group of other kids. On the one occasion where it was just her and I, I was sure she was more interested in our assignment than me. Of course, now I knew better.

I looked across the table and was met with a smile. The same smile I'd seen all those years ago. And just like that I was transported back in time-to a day when her face was a little fuller and less womanly than it was now. A day when her shoulders were not covered by the sleeves of her shirt but were bare and it took all my power not to stare at her.

It had been sunny for almost the entire week and everyone was taking full advantage of the warmer temps. Girls were showing off more skin than ever, sending us hormonal teenage boys into frenzy. Bella was one of those girls. She'd worn a tank top to school that day.

"These chicks are killing me." Emmett groaned as we walked across the parking lot. "I'm gonna end up calling Victoria later if this keeps up."

"Victoria, really? I thought you guys broke up two weeks ago."

"We did."

I stared at him waiting for an explanation.

"She's been looking at me the past two days." He said simply. "Word is she misses me or something. Maybe she's just horny with all this warm weather. Lord knows it's doing something to me."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Good luck with that." We climbed into the car and rolled down the windows. "Hey, drop me off at the diner okay. I've got a school project to work on with Bella."

Emmett's smile spread as he looked me over. "What kind of _school project_ we talking about?" He raised his brows.

"Shut up." I punched his shoulder. "We really do have an assignment to work on."

"Mmhmm, sure you do. Does Tanya know about this _assignment_?"

Rolling my eyes I felt my frustration growing. I loved my brother but sometimes he was an ass. "Yes she does." I snapped.

"Hey hey, don't get so pissed. I'm just asking if everything is okay in girlfriend land."

"Everything's fine." The tone of my voice was harsh. The truth was everything was fine. But that was just it. It was _fine. _Tanya was a great girl. I hadn't been dating her for very long but she was nice and laid back. She didn't ride on me if I forgot to call her at night and I liked her. I really did. But I had these moments where I'd be talking to Bella and I'd wonder what it would be like to be with her. I worried that maybe she noticed the way I looked at her longer than normal. But it didn't matter. I was with Tanya and I cared about her. Plus, Bella made it pretty clear she just wanted to be my friend and could never be into me like that.

The familiar rejection I felt started to work its way inside and I pushed it back. _You're with Tanya. She's nice and likes you and you like her. She deserves 100% of your attention._

Emmett cranked the radio and it was enough to drown any other thoughts from my mind. It didn't take long before we were at the diner and I could see Bella sitting inside through the front window.

"I'll catch a ride home later. Tell mom I'm here, will ya?" I climbed out, tossing my bag over my shoulder.

With a nod of his head, Emmett peeled out of the parking lot. I pulled the glass door open and a bell ringing overhead announced my arrival. Bella didn't seem to notice. Her hair was pulled back and all I saw was skin. Her neck, her shoulders and those two perfect long bones right at the base of her throat, that more than once, I've thought about licking. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and walked closer. Now was not the time to get caught staring.

"Hey," I tossed my bag down and slid across the vinyl seat.

She was in the middle of drinking something and her cheeks reddened when she saw me. Quickly swallowing she grabbed her napkin and wiped at her mouth, even though nothing was there. "Hi, hope you don't mind I already ordered. I've been thinking about having a chocolate shake all day."

"No problem." I shrugged, peering across the table. "Looks good."

She nodded and pushed it toward me in offering. "Here." Then she turned to rummage in her book bag.

My eyes were trained on the frosted silver cup in front of me. Reaching for it, I took a sip from the same straw she'd just been drinking from. I knew it wasn't a big deal but there was part of me that was all too aware of the fact that her lips had been wrapped around it just moments before.

"It's good right?" she asked after dumping a few books on the table.

I nodded and mumbled thanks before pushing it back to her.

"I think the fastest way for us to finish this paper is if we break it up into four parts. What do you think?"

"That's what I was thinking too. Do you know what parts you want to take?"

"Umm, I kinda already did an outline." She bit on her lip nervously as if I'd be mad or something.

"Yeah? That's great. Let me see it."

She slid the paper over to me. I knew I was supposed to look at it but at that exact moment Bella decided to take a sip of her shake. It was like everything slowed down and all I could see where her lips wrapping around that lucky straw.

I tried to look away, but I couldn't. I was entranced. Her lips were perfect and red and full. It wasn't until Bella said my name that I snapped out of it.

"Sorry," I blinked, "I was just-thinking about something. Uh, what were you saying?"

"Just that you don't have to do those two parts if you don't want to. We can switch, I'm fine with either." Her face went red and the color spread all the way down her neck. All of that soft skin was glowing pink and I briefly wondered if it would feel warm against my hand, my tongue.

I cleared my throat and forced my eyes away before I got caught staring at her boobs. "No, no. This is great. I'll do it."

"Okay," her eyes were trained on the paper in front of her and she picked up her shake again, absentmindedly drinking.

The rest of our study session had been a game of _don't get caught staring at Bella._ I had tried to focus but it was pretty much impossible. Between all that skin and her lips wrapped around that straw I was screwed. At the time I had tried to blame it on the warmer weather but that was a load of crap. It had been Bella. It had always been Bella.

The heavy ceramic plate hitting the table with a clang woke me from my memories. I looked across the table at Bella and noticed her eyes were on me, eyebrows raised in question.

"Just remembering," I answered.

She reached for the ketchup bottle and smiled at me. "Remembering what?"

"Our study date at the diner. Do you remember that?"

Silently, she nodded.

"I wanted to kiss you, you know." I said honestly, wanting her to know.

Just like all those years ago her cheeks darkened. "You did?"

I picked up my burger and paused. "I did. And I plan on making up for it later." With a quick wink I opened my mouth and took a bite.

It took a minute for the color to fade from Bella's cheeks but when it did, she smiled. The look in her eye told me she was more than willing to let me make up for lost time.

Over burgers and fries we fell into easy conversation. It was always like that with her, easy and comfortable. She told me a little more about the new book she was working on and I was just as enthralled by her imagination as ever. When she asked about any upcoming projects I had in the works I told her of the few I had lined up and she listened, _really_ listened.

I knew Bella was different from other girls I'd dated, but her attentiveness was another reminder. She wasn't listening half heartedly, but seemed interested. She was involved in our conversation and had honest opinions.

Over the next hour we laughed and shared stories about people back home and when the last bite of pie was eaten, I was sure that this was, by far, one of the best dates I'd ever been on. And it wasn't even over yet.

"Ready to get out of here?" I asked, tossing some cash on the table.

She nodded and stood, slipping her arms through the sleeves of her sweater. I couldn't lie and say I wasn't disappointed to see her skin disappear beneath the fabric. The shirt she had on was one of those flowing tops that made her look especially feminine. The wide open neck made the lines of her collar bones look even more delicate and the pale color looked great against her skin. At that moment I said a quick prayer that I'd get to feel that skin later if I was lucky.

When we got in the car she asked me where we were headed but I refused to tell her. Again, the location wasn't anything show-stopping but I hoped she liked it and I wanted it to be a surprise. It didn't take us long to get there and when we pulled up in front of the large brick and stone building, Bella looked at me with questioning eyes.

"The library?"

"Yep."

"It uhh-it looks closed."

"It is. But not to us." I smiled and climbed out of the car.

"It's beautiful." She was looking up at the building when I met her at her door.

"Wait until you see the inside." Taking her hand in mine I led her to the entrance and knocked on the glass door.

"Let me guess. Someone in charge is a big Edward Cullen fan?"

"That's only part of it." I didn't get the chance to explain further before the door was opened and a night guard let us in.

"Mr. Cullen." The guard nodded. "Mr. Jenks wanted me to tell you the items are on the table upstairs and to enjoy your evening."

He turned away and Bella looked up at me with wide eyes and a playful smirk. "Mr. Cullen?"

I returned her smile with my own. "It pays to be professional."

"Mmhmm, I can only imagine."

"You've never name-dropped to get something?"

Her mouth opened and stayed that way for a beat, before she snapped it closed. "Only on rare occasion and when it was necessary.".

I shrugged. "Well then, we'll consider this one of your rare and necessary occasions."

"_My _rare and necessary occasion?"

"You'll see." Placing my hand on the small of her back I lead her up the white granite etched grand staircase.

"This is amazing." She said, running her hand over the wooden banister. Her eyes traveled up, taking in the open archways and ceilings that soared above us, a sky of never ending pearlescent white.

"It was built in 1903 and is one of the largest public buildings in Portland." I prattled off some random facts I'd read. I might have done a little research, so what?

"Aren't you just a fountain of knowledge." She smiled. "Anything else you can tell me?"

"There's seventeen miles of bookshelves."

"Seriously?" her eyes went wide.

"And they only hold the books that are currently available to check out. If every item was returned in, there wouldn't be enough space."

We reached the top of the stairs I veered to the right and continued on. While the main libraries downstairs were impressive with their large curved windows and floor to ceiling bookshelves, there was something else I wanted to show her. Walking down aisle after aisle of shelves, stocked with books, eventually brought us to a small stairwell. It looked out of place, tucked away in the corner.

Bella paused beside me. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

"That's the second time you've said that." Her eyes narrowed. "It's a good thing I trust you."

A slice of light peeking through the shelves behind us, cast a glow over Bella's face, highlighting the curve of her cheek. She looked beautiful. I took a step toward her, so there were only a few inches between us. Moving my hand down the length of her arm I cursed the sweater she wore that blocked my fingers from her bare skin. Settling my hands on the small of her back I pulled her closer. "Good. Because I only have good things planned for us."

Her breath caught and she peered up at me from under her lashes. "Well, I've had a really great night so far."

Smiling, I leaned down and kissed her softly once, twice, then pulled back. "Come on." I turned and ran for the stairs, taking them two at a time until I reached the top where it opened into room. There were dark wood tables placed throughout and large curved windows lined one wall while bookshelves covered the others.

"What is it?" Bella asked, stepping in behind me.

"It's the John Wilsons Special Collections room. They've got manuscripts that date back to the 13th century, first editions of Little Women, Beatrix Potter, Charles Dickens, D.H Lawrence..."

Before I even finished speaking she had started on the first shelf she came to. Carefully removing books and handling them as if they would crumble at any moment. Her eyes were alight and her face one of awe.

She didn't move from her spot for a good ten minutes. So I sat down on the closest chair and just watched her. When she finally looked up she smiled and walked toward me.

"This is so awesome. I think I could spend days in this room." She sat down beside me, her feet swinging off the table. "I've always loved libraries. Have I ever told you that?"

"You might have mentioned it once in one of your emails."

"I did?"

I nodded and took the book she was holding, turning it over in my hands.

"In college I'd go to the library just to sit and think. Or I'd walk down the aisles and listen, like somehow I'd hear the stories, whispered from their pages." She laughed. "It's ridiculous I know, but stories, books, have always held so much life to me."

"It's not ridiculous. Makes sense since you're a writer." I nudged her with my shoulder.

She shrugged. "I guess so." Turning to look up at me she smiled and nodded at the book I held. "Read something."

Flipping through the pages I stopped and read. It was a poem by D.H Lawrence. _"…And at last I know my love for you is here. I can see it all, it is whole like the twilight. It is large, so large, I could not see it before because of the little lights and flickers and interruptions, troubles, anxieties and pains."_

I continued on, to the next line and heard Bella whispering beside me. I stopped and listened as she continued with the rest. She leaned over, putting her head on my shoulder and a feeling surged through me. I liked when she touched me, when she made the first move.

"That's one of my favorites." Her voice was wistful.

"I've never heard it before."

"Read another?"

And this is how we spent the evening-reading to one another. We'd take turns, passing books back and forth. I always let her choose, wanting to see what her preference was, what her tastes were. It wasn't until she asked me to pick the next selection that I finally grabbed the book sitting on the table behind us. It was 'the items' the night guard had referred to when we first arrived and what basically got us in here after hours in the first place. I opened her book and after reading a few words she quickly sat up.

"Where did that come from?"

"Mr. Jenks. You know how I mentioned using your name to get things? Well, it turns out that Mr. Jenks is a fan of yours and is pretty much willing to do anything for a signed copy of this." I tapped the book.

She giggled and her cheeks reddened in embarrassment. "So _I'm _the reason we got in here? It wasn't the famous Edward Cullen?"

"Seems to be that way."

She took the book from my hands and hopped off the table. "And if I refused to sign this? Then what would happen? Would we get kicked out?"

"I doubt it. But I did sort of promise him."

She smiled playfully with raised brows and backed up to the stairway. "Maybe I'll go find that night guard and see what he thinks."

"Bella." I smiled, thoroughly enjoying this playful side of her.

"Edward." She returned, taking another step back. With one last smirk she spun around and took off down the steps.

I didn't hesitate to chase after her and when I reached the bottom of the stairs she was waiting for me, leaning up against a bookshelf.

"I thought you were going to make it difficult for me."

She shrugged. "I figure I've made things difficult enough. I'm a little tired of running from you." Her eyes dropped to the floor. I caught the meaning behind her words and there was no way I was letting her take all the blame. We were both at fault.

"We _both_ made things difficult." I assured her. Taking a step closer, I leaned against the bookshelf opposite her. "Now we can be done running." When her eyes met mine and she smiled I knew we were okay.

Wanting to keep the good mood from the evening I looked for a distraction and found one easily. I reached out and grabbed a book off the shelf. There was a shirtless man holding a half naked girl on the cover. "Your turn," I laughed, tossing it to her.

She turned the book over in her hands and her eyes grew wide. "No way! I'm not reading this." Bella shook her head and laughed.

"Oh come on, Angel at Dusk had a few-"

"Angel at Dusk was tame compared to this."

"Yeah, but you still wrote it." _And it was hot. _I added silently. She was right. The few romantic scenes she wrote were pretty subdued. But it was more than enough to make me wonder what it would be like if she written something more descriptive. I hadn't taken my eyes off her and she still hadn't said anything. She only returned my gaze with a calculative one of her own. I knew there was no way she'd give in so it surprised the hell out of me when she started flipping through the pages.

"Alright," she said, rolling her shoulders back in confidence.

There was no way I'd risk talking and have her change her mind so I kept my mouth shut, and waited. When she started reading, I once again fell into the comfort of her voice. Tonight was the first time in my life I'd realized just how effective someone's voice could be. Of course I'd felt the effects of my mother's calming tone ever since I was young but this was different. Bella's voice, the sound of it, whether speaking, laughing, or whispered against my neck, reached inside me and held tight. It made me hyperaware and relaxed at the same time.

I allowed my eyes to close and listened while she read of forbidden lovers meeting in dark room. When it became clear where the scene was going I wondered if she'd stop reading but she didn't.

"_He kissed her then, the taste of her familiar and delicious. It danced on his tongue, igniting his body in an instant. Knowing that this would be the last time in a while that he'd have her, he told himself to go slow, but it was useless. He wanted her, wanted to ravage her body and make sure she'd never forget him."_

Bella paused, causing me to open my eyes. I wasn't met with laughter or even a smile, like I expected. Instead, her face was flushed and her pupils dilated. I watched her wet her bottom lip before biting down. Such an innocent motion yet I felt my dick grow hard in response to it. I swallowed thickly and pushed away from the wall.

"Keep reading," I whispered.

Her eyes flickered back and forth between mine and whatever she saw encouraged her. Taking a deep breath she continued.

I watched her mouth, watched the way her lips wrapped around the words as she spoke, painting a vivid picture in my mind. A lovers embrace, lips kissing skin and brushing along the tops of breasts. A flick of his tongue across her nipple before sucking her warm skin into his mouth. The way her body bowed beneath him, wanting more of his touch, giving herself to him.

Every word Bella spoke pulled me in and I stepped closer. I had to touch her. Reaching out, I brushed her hair away from her shoulder, exposing the skin of her neck. It was even softer then I imagined when I traced my fingers up the smooth line to her jaw. Her breath caught at my touch and her arms dropped to her side, the book hit the floor with a thud.

She looked up at me then, and I'd never wanted to kiss her so bad in my life. Wrapping my hand around the base of her neck I pulled her mouth to mine. I took my time, kissing her the way she deserved. The heat that always existed between us sparked and I couldn't get close enough. I couldn't get enough of _her_. She was just as eager and I smiled against her lips when her arms wrapped around my back, clinging, and pulling me closer.

Every kiss, every lick spurred me on and I had to consciously hold my hips back. I was hard and while I wanted nothing more than to rub against her and get some friction I didn't want to come across like a horny teenager-even if that's how I felt. Telling myself to calm down and show some restraint I closed my eyes and took a calming breath.

But then she made that sound, that little moan. The same one she'd made earlier tonight and it unraveled me. Each grain of self control I had crumbled beneath her touch and I gave in, without a second thought. My hands which I'd rooted safely on her back started to move down until the curve of her ass filled my hand perfectly. When I gave her a squeeze she moaned again-only this time it was louder and then she hitched her leg up on my hip.

And just like that I was between her legs.

My head dropped to her shoulder and I groaned on contact. There was all this fabric between us and yet I could still feel her warmth pressed against my dick. Being this close was better than I could ever imagine. I held still, making sure it was okay. Bella sensed my hesitation and answered my question by moving her hips and rubbing against me.

"Oh God, you're hot." I said, catching my breath.

She moved again, her small frame shifting so eagerly against me that I knew what she wanted. Hooking one hand under her knee I pulled her leg up and open so I could get closer. With a slow roll of my hips I rubbed against her, taking my time so she could feel how hard she made me.

Her head dropped back and her mouth opened with a sigh. She looked beautiful. Leaning in, I kissed her throat, tasting her skin on my tongue, and nipped my way to her mouth. We kissed in a steady rhythm, our tongues matching the pace of our hips, rubbing and pushing against each other. Back and forth, up and down.

It wasn't long before Bella's sighs and moans got a little louder and her hips pressed harder. She shifted in my arms and dropped her hands to my waist in attempt to get a better angle. When I felt the tips of her fingers rub over my dick, I froze.

"Sorry." She panted against my chest.

"No, no it's fine it just-it just felt really good."

"Yeah?"

I nodded and leaned in to nip at her ear. "Yeah. Really good."

She looked up at me then and did it again, running her fingers from the base all the way up over the seam on my jeans. I groaned and kissed her mouth. While her hand continued to rub against me, my hands wandered. I moved up her waist and across her ribs, stopping just below her breast. There was fabric separating us but it didn't matter. Touching her like this was more than enough. I hesitated for only a second then brushed my thumb over her nipple, once, twice, and then rolled it gently between my fingers. She gasped, moaning loud and arched her back into me. The sound was so hot I almost came right there. Knowing we were both close I brushed her hand away and grabbed her hips, quickly pulling her into me. As good as her hand was I wanted her like this. I wanted her to get off while I was pressed against her.

Grasping the bookshelf behind her I used it for leverage. We gripped each other tight, our hips moving in quick fluid thrusts. When I felt her fingers dig into my shoulder, I looked down at her and watched her eyes clamp shut. And then she came. Her entire body grew tense but she pulled me in even closer, still guiding my hip movements with her hands. My mind reeled. Bella was having an orgasm, because of _me_, _on_ me. And it was one of the hottest things ever. I watched her face but kept going, until the building pressure from deep in my stomach finally let go and I was coming. Because of _her._

Our bodies stilled against each other and I held her in my arms, not really wanting to let go of her anytime soon. It just felt-_good-right. _I'd thought about being with Bella lots of times and, although my recent fantasies usually involved a lot less clothes, there was a time years ago where the thought of making out and rubbing on her with my clothes on was pretty high on my list. I just never expected to actually live that fantasy as an adult. It made me laugh.

"What?" Bella asked, lifting her eyes to mine.

"Sometimes I still feel like I teenager with you. I mean, I just came. In my _pants. _Do you know how long it's been since I've done that?"

Her face froze for a second and then she burst into laughter. It really was funny. "Believe me," she said catching her breath. "It's been a while since I've done that too. But it's-it was okay right?" she asked, a smile still on her face.

Was she kidding? "More than okay." I assured her. "In fact I'm thinking about all the little fantasies I've had as a teen that I'd like to re-enact. _If _you're up for it."

"Well, I _am _trying to earn my Edward Cullen Specialist title-and research _is_ important." She smirked and I felt something inside me stir.

I held my hands out. "I promise I won't put up a fight. I'll be your willing study subject."

Laughing she disentangled herself from me and I stepped back. I could feel our date coming to a close. I didn't want it to.

I picked up her book so I wouldn't forget to have her sign it, then thought of a way to prolong our time together. "What do you say we go back to the hotel and get a drink or something?" This time of night, the bar should be pretty empty; we wouldn't have to worry about prying eyes.

"Sounds great. Just don't let me drink too much. I've got a flight to catch tomorrow."

Her reminder didn't settle well. It weighed heavily in the pit of my stomach. I knew she was leaving but I didn't want to dwell on it either. "What if getting you drunk was one of my teenage fantasies?" I teased.

Her eyebrows rose. "You already got one fantasy for the evening."

Little did she know—this entire night had been a collection of fantasies. "Alright, I'll take one at a time." Reaching out I took her hand in mine and we headed for the steps.

I knew right then, at that moment, that there was no way I could let her leave tomorrow. I just had to make sure she wanted to stay.

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**Thanks for being so patient! You guys are great!  
It feels good to be back, hope you enjoyed it. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Thanks to Shwriteme for her Beta skills, and anniej13 & mommyofboth for pre-reading. Love you guys. **

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**Chapter 19**

**EPOV**

"Hold still." Garrett repeated for the second time.

"Sorry." I apologized, attempting to not smile. It was at least the third time he'd told me to stop moving.

I lifted my chin and he returned to smearing another layer of makeup on my face, covering any signs of age that a typical high school student wouldn't have. Another minute went by and my phone buzzed again. Garrett's not so subtle exhale made me laugh. Dropping my eyes I quickly checked my phone and shot back a quick response. Bella and I had been texting for the past twenty minutes.

When I woke up this morning my first thoughts were of her and our date last night. I'd kept my promise and didn't let her drink too much. We'd talked and laughed until the early morning hours and, when it came time to say goodnight, we were both half asleep on our feet. Exhaustion aside, it was clear neither of us wanted to leave the other and the way she kissed me goodbye almost made me change my mind completely. I wanted her.

So this morning I didn't hesitate to pick up my phone and see if she was awake. She didn't respond until an hour later and said she's slept in. I teased her about being worn out after last night and she admitted that she'd been tuckered out. She actually used that word _tuckered_. I couldn't remember anyone other than my mom using that word and I told her as much. This of course started a conversation about little phrases our moms used while growing up. Her latest-_heavens to murgatriod_-was one of the best I'd heard.

"Have a good time last night?" Garrett asked, drawing my attention away from my phone.

I nodded. "Yeah."

He paused, make-up brush in hand, and studied my face closely. "You gonna hang out again?"

"Yep."

He smiled at me and I smirked back. We didn't need to say anything else. Garrett knew me well enough to know something was going on but he was never one to pry either.

Behind me the trailer door opened, white daylight streaming in. "Almost ready?" Kate stepped in with her arms full of papers.

"Almost." Garrett said, sweeping something across my forehead.

Kate circled around us and sat on the edge of the counter looking down at me. "Emmett's on his way here."

"He is?" I looked at my phone and didn't see any missed calls. Normally he'd tell me when he landed. There was nothing.

"He didn't know if you would be shooting or not so he called me first." She answered and wrapped her arms around Garrett's waist. "I still don't understand why he's coming anyway. It's not like you need bulking up for this role."

I held back a laugh because she was right. I didn't need any bulking up to play a high school student but that wasn't going to stop my brother from coming to set.

"Yeah well, he's got his motives."

Kate raised her brows in question. "Motives?"

Before I could say another word his _motive_ walked into the trailer.

Rosalie was wearing a cheerleading uniform, her blonde hair pulled into a ponytail. "Hey Garrett, do you have more of that gloss you let me use yesterday? That stuff was fantastic."

"Sure." He gestured to the table against the wall.

Kate peered around her husband's waist and smirked. "Motive?" she asked me again. I nodded and her smirk grew into a full smile. "I'd say that's some pretty good motive for Emmett."

"You have no idea."

"Who has no idea?" Rosalie asked, stepping closer and rubbing something shiny on her lips.

"Emmett." Kate answered, still smiling.

"He's here?"

"No, he's on his way."

Rosalie was quiet for a moment then turned toward the door. She paused before walking out and looked back at me. "Is Bella coming to set today?"

"I think so." I wasn't really sure if she _was _in fact coming, but if I had any say in it, she would.

"Cool. Maybe we should all have lunch together." She suggested.

"Sounds good," I agreed. "I'll check with them."

As soon as she was out the door Kate started laughing. "Oh this is good. She's already interested and she hasn't even met him yet. What exactly have you told her about him?"

"Nothing really." I admitted. "And you think she's interested?" Kate nodded. "Don't let Emmett know that. He doesn't need any encouragement."

"Are you kidding? I'm not saying a word. Just promise me I get to be there when they meet." Her eyes were pleading.

"You free for lunch?"

Kate smiled up at Garrett who wore an amused face. "We'll be there." She confirmed.

Once Garrett finished with my make-up I stepped outside to call Bella.

"Hi." I could hear the smile in her voice. "I thought you were going to start shooting soon?"

"I am, but I wanted to see when you were coming to set today. Rose mentioned having lunch with us. Em should be here soon too."

"That sounds great. My flight doesn't leave until four, so I'll have time."

I got that same uneasy feeling I had last night when she mentioned leaving. It settled heavy in the pit of my stomach and pressed down on my chest. She'd told me last night when she was leaving, but part of me hoped that after a good night's sleep she'd change her mind.

"Good, so I'll uh—see you soon then?" I murmured.

"Yep. See you soon."

I hung up and tucked my phone away. As I walked toward the school, I thought about Bella leaving. One day with her was not enough. I wasn't stupid enough to think she'd drop everything just to spend time with me. She had her own career and no doubt had things to do. But maybe, just maybe if I asked her to stay she would, even if it would be a bit of a sacrifice for her. Could I be that selfish? Could I ask her to sit around and wait for me when my days were long and she'd be alone?

"Quit yanking your hair out. You know how Mom hates it when you do that."

I looked up to see Emmett walking toward me. He was wearing jeans and a tee shirt, not bothered at all by the slight chill in the air. I dropped my hands from my head and gave him a brotherly shove on the shoulder. "What are you gonna do? Tell on me?"

"Nah, if you want to be bald by the time you're thirty that's cool with me." He shrugged.

I ignored his jibe and absently ran my fingers through my hair again. "When did you get here?"

"Few minutes ago." His hands slid into his back pockets and he looked me over. "You going to tell me what's on your mind that's got you ripping your hair out?"

"It's nothing."

His gaze turned doubtful and he scoffed at me. "Whatever. When you want to talk, talk."

I nodded silently, thankful for a brother like him. "I've gotta get on set. You coming?" He hesitated for only a second. "Rose and I are filming a scene together." I added with a smirk.

His answering smile was huge. "Then let's get going. I don't want to hold everyone up."

There were people everywhere but as soon as we were within sight of the cameras and crew something unheard of happened. Emmett got nervous. I could tell in the way his back went straight and the fact that he kept clearing his throat and swallowing like something was stuck in it.

"You alright?" I asked, not even bothering to withhold my smile. There was no way I was going to let this slide.

He cleared his throat and his eyes dashed to me quickly. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I'm—I'm cool."

"You sure? Sounds like you've got a cold. Do you need a cough drop or something?"

"No, no I'm good." He was focused on something up ahead and I had a pretty good idea of what or who it was.

One of the assistant directors approached me as soon I was within sight and I was immediately pulled aside to where Jane was already in conversation with Stefan. Emmett was use to being on sets with me so I wasn't worried about him feeling uncomfortable, but I was slightly disappointed I couldn't give him a hard time about his obvious nerves.

"Who's that?" Jane asked, after Stefan was finished with us.

I followed the direction of her eyes and saw Emmett talking with one of the camera men. "That's my brother."

"Really? That's cool. Is he just visiting?"

"Yeah, sort of. He's my trainer so whenever I need to get in shape, he's there."

Her eyes widened in recognition. "That's right. I think I remember you mentioning him before. He worked with you for Superman right?"

"Killed me is more like it. He can be brutal." I said with a laugh.

"Who can be brutal?" Rose asked, walking up to us.

"My brother."

"You know that's the second time I've walked into a conversation where you're talking about him. First 'he has no idea' and now 'he's brutal'." Her hand rested on her hip. "When do we get to meet this piece-of-work brother of yours?"

"I don't know about brutal, but I have been called a piece of work before." Emmett walked up behind Rose and leveled me with his eyes. "Spreading rumors about me lil' brother? I can promise you half of what you hear isn't true." He paused. "Unless he's been telling you good stuff-then he's honest Abe."

Rose turned around and took a step back, putting some space between her and my brother. Neither of them spoke, they just looked at each other out of the corner of their eyes pretending they weren't actually staring. I should have stepped in and done the typical introductions but to be honest I was too interested in watching the two of them. I'd seen Emmett around girls my entire life. He was always cool and collected and knew exactly what to say. This silence, this stare off of sorts was completely unlike him, even if he was a little nervous. They looked like two little five year olds meeting for the first time after being told by their parents they had to play with one another. Both of them not quite sure what to think, waiting for the other to make a move or offer up some gummy bears as a peace offering.

Surprisingly Jane was the one to speak up first. "Hi, I'm Jane. It's nice to meet you." She stepped forward and shoved her hand at Emmett.

It was enough to pull his attention away. "Nice to meet you too, Jane." He smiled, showing off the dimples girls melted over. His eyes only stayed on hers for as long as he needed, without seeming rude, before looking at Rose again.

"This is Rosalie." I nodded in her direction. "Rose this is my brother Emmett."

"Rosalie. It's a pleasure." He reached out to her and waited for her move.

Her eyes appraised him silently. Then she lifted her chin. "Considering all I've been hearing about you the pleasure is _all_ mine." She winked at him, completely ignoring his outstretched hand and turned to face me. "Vladimir wants to talk with you before we start." And with that, she turned on her heel and left my brother standing with his hand in the air and his jaw hanging open.

There was no missing his grumbled 'shit' as he rubbed his hands over his face.

I held back a laugh. "Well that was—"

"Hot," he finished. "She's hot. Even better in person." Before I could say anything he turned to me with narrowed eyes. "And what was she talking about when she said '_all she's heard'_? What did you tell her?"

"I don't know." I shrugged.

"Edward," he folded his thick arms across his chest looking very parental.

"Yes _Dad_?" He was silent and I knew he was plotting ways to torture me later if I didn't give him some sort of information. "Look, I'm being honest. I don't remember what I've said about you. She knows what you do for a living and…she agreed with your Michigan State prediction."

"She follows college ball?"

"Yeah."

"Well damn. She just keeps getting better and better." He ran his hands over his thighs and took a deep breath. "Alright. I'm going in."

I turned and watched him walk away in the direction Rose had left. After years of watching my brother charm girls into just about anything this was the first time where I had doubts that he'd succeed. I might not know Rosalie Hale that well, but I knew she wasn't like most girls.

I smiled when I thought of another girl that was anything _but_ typical. One that I'd be seeing in a few hours and if I was lucky-one that would stick around for a while. That is, if I could get her to stay.

….

BPOV

There are certain moments in my life that I can remember with vivid clarity. Some are random like the first time I broke a bone or on my eleventh birthday when I got my slip-n-slide. Others are engrained into my memory because they were life altering. The first time I held my published book in my hands or the moment I was handed the keys to my very own house. And now after last night, I can add _my first date with Edward_ to the list.

Everything about it was perfect and I hated saying goodnight to him. I knew as soon as I closed my door last night that saying bye to him today was going to be brutal.

"Have you talked about it?"

"No, but every time I bring up leaving he seems perfectly okay with it." I switched my phone from one ear to the other and could hear Alice start talking again.

"…if you don't bring it up."

"What?"

"I said you'll never know how he feels about it unless you bring it up."

"Isn't _that_ the story of my life?" I mumbled dryly which earned a laugh from Alice. "It's probably for the best anyway. I mean, he's busy and Charlotte's been riding me with deadlines."

"But can't you write anywhere?"

"Well yeah I could, but I…I mean, he's still really busy and I wouldn't want to make things harder on him."

She hummed in response and I wasn't sure if it was good or bad. "When are you heading to the set?"

"Not for a few hours. I might go over a little early and-" Before I could finish I heard Jaspers voice on the other line followed by a squeal from Alice. It sounded like the phone was dropped and a few seconds later Jasper picked up.

"Sorry, Bella, but I _need_ my wife."

I laughed at his honesty and felt my cheeks warm. Alice yelled out that she'd call me later and I said my goodbyes, though I doubt either of them heard me.

I finished packing my bag and tried not to think about the fact that I was leaving soon and wouldn't be seeing Edward for the next-I don't know how long. Looking for a distraction I fired up my laptop. If anything could keep my mind busy it was writing.

When my stomach growled a few hours later I was thankful that the time had passed relatively quickly. I made one final check of my room and grabbed my things, feeling anxious to see Edward and make the best of the time I had left with him.

…..

"Going again." One of the assistant directors announced for probably the eighth time in a row.

Edward looked at me and rolled his eyes, making his frustrations clear. I'd arrived on set more than twenty minutes ago and I still hadn't talked to him. Instead I watched him from a distance as he repeated the same scene over with Jane again and again. Apparently they wanted to get it wrapped before lunch.

While I was anxious to talk to Edward, I really liked standing back and watching him work. I could stare at him and day dream. I could look at his hands and imagine them touching me and his lips kissing me and his tongue doing all kinds of delicious things to me.

With my eyes closed I let my mind wander and fantasize. It was never difficult to conjure up a fantasy involving Edward. Over the years I'd gotten quite good at thinking up scenarios but after last night things were definitely different. I didn't have to pretend to know what it felt like to have his hands touch me. I didn't have to imagine what he sounded like when he came, I knew.

"Should I be insulted that I'm so boring to watch, I put you to sleep?"

His voice startled me and my eyes flew open, meeting his green ones. "No, no" I rushed, "I was… daydreaming." I tried to make it sound silly but I felt my cheeks warm anyway.

His brows rose. "About?"

"Um, you know just…," I looked around quickly trying to think of something, "shoes." I blurted.

"Shoes?" He looked doubtful and there was no way I could keep looking at him when he was staring at me the way he was. It's like he knew I was lying, like he could read my mind and knew that I'd been thinking about sex-with him.

I nodded and dropped my eyes, knowing that my face was bright red. The tops of his shoes come into view as he stepped closer to me. I froze.

"Do _shoes_ always make you blush?" He whispered-close enough that I could feel the warmth of his breath on my neck.

Lifting my eyes to his I could feel the heat that was once in my cheeks spread down through my entire body, warming from the inside out.

His mouth curved up into a beautiful smirk and my heart raced. "You hungry?" he asked.

"Mmhm," I nodded, "starving."

"Me too. Let's go eat."

He stepped away and I forced myself to relax. Melting into a puddle would not help anything at the moment.

We walked outside, the bright sun warming our backs as we headed toward the Craft station.

"I thought Emmett was going to be here." I asked.

"He's around here somewhere. Last I saw him he was taking off after Rose."

My eyes went wide. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, he's got it bad. You should have seen him. He was so nervous."

I opened my mouth to ask for more details but didn't get a chance before I was suddenly lifted in the air. And because I'm a girl, and girls squeal when surprised, that's what I did. Everything around me blurred for a second and I clamped my eyes shut. The familiar sound of brothers laughing rang in my ears. It was the sound of high school all over again.

"Emmett, what are you doing? She's not a rag doll; you can't just toss her around."

My feet hit the ground and Emmett steadied me with a quick hug. I broke free just in time to see Rosalie walking toward us shaking her head but smirking.

"Come on Blondie, don't get jealous. I've known her for years. She's like family, right Bella?" He looked at me with a wide smile and lifted his brows a few times, glancing between Edward and me suggestively.

"Who said anything about being jealous?" Rosalie's hands were placed firmly on her hips.

Emmett laughed loudly and closed the distance between them in three quick strides. He bent forward and scooped her up over his shoulder, like she weighed a single pound. Just like me she yelped in surprise, but then slapped him on his butt.

He ran past us, ruffling my hair on his way. "Good to see you again Bella!" he called out, peering back over his free shoulder.

"Looks like he's not nervous anymore." I laughed, watching them.

"It was only a matter of time I guess."

"Maybe we should have taken a lesson from them." I was teasing but there was truth too. Sometimes when I thought about how much time we'd wasted-it made me so angry, and sad.

Edward turned to me. "Hey," he waited for me to look up at him. "No regrets. Okay?"

I nodded and held his gaze for a moment, smiling.

"Come on," he motioned with his head, "If we don't hurry up Emmett might eat everything."

After loading our plates with sandwiches and fruit we sat down at a table across Rosalie and Emmett who were having a heated discussion about something.

"I don't care how it was filmed. It was stupid."

Rosalie's jaw hung open. "How can you say that? It was brilliant."

Emmett put a chip in her open mouth and smiled when her eyes widened. "It was Pocahontas but with blue people on some weird ass planet. Not my idea of original," he shrugged.

She finished chewing and picked up her bottle of water. "Well _I_ think it was brilliant. James is one of the most talented, visionary directors ever."

"There's no denying he's crazy smart. Hell, he did Aliens, and that stuff still freaks me out. I'm just saying his latest wasn't as amazing as everyone made it out to be."

"What do you think Bella?" Rosalie asked, turning her attention to me.

"Uh…about what?" I questioned, even though I had a pretty good idea what she was talking about. I just didn't want to get stuck in this debate.

"Avatar. What did you think of it?" She sat forward, resting her head in her hand.

My eyes went from her to Emmett and finally settled on Edward who was smirking at me. "It was…good." I hedged.

"Ha!" she shouted. "See, even Bella can see that it was amazing."

"She didn't say it was amazing. She said it was good and it was a pretty half assed 'good' if you ask me." Emmett eyed me over his bottle of Gatorade, silently challenging.

Thankfully I didn't have to defend myself one way or the other because Kate and Garrett arrived, serving as a distraction. Garrett took a seat next to Emmett and Kate on the other side of Edward.

"Damn, I missed it. Why didn't you wait?" Kate whispered, leaning in close to Edward.

I looked at him hoping to decipher her question. _Missed what?_

"He met her on set. Believe me, there was no stopping him." Edward muttered under his breath.

I held back a smile, finally understanding what they were talking about.

"Well, how was it? What have I missed?"

"So far, an in depth conversation on Avatar."

"Oh I loved Avatar!" Kate perked up, her voice suddenly very loud.

"Wasn't it fantastic?" Rosalie added in excitement, leaning forward in her seat.

"Garrett hated it. I swear, watching it with him was painful. He wouldn't stop making comments."

"Smart man." Emmett laughed and held his hand out to Garrett, waiting for a fist pump.

The two girls scoffed in unison and rolled their eyes but it didn't stop the comments from the boys. For the next five minutes Edward and I sat, listening to the two couples go back and forth. It wasn't until Rosalie finally admitted that there were in fact similarities between Cameron's masterpiece and the Disney classic that the conversation died down.

"So what time do you leave Bella?" Rosalie asked, grabbing a cookie off of Emmett's plate. I waited for a protest from him but none came. Instead he just smiled at her and shrugged.

"My flight leaves at four." My stomach dropped at the thought. I didn't want to leave. "I'll probably take off in an hour so." For a split second Rosalie's eyes flickered between me and Edward. I turned to look at him. He was staring at her. "Do you think that's enough time?" I asked him.

He nodded and offered me a slight smile. "Yeah, you should be good." The crease between his eyebrows told me something was on his mind but he didn't elaborate and now wasn't the time for me to ask.

"I bet you're excited to get back to the warmth." Rosalie said with a moan. "I'd give anything to lay by the water in the warm sun."

"Tell me about it." Kate chimed in. "Somewhere like Aruba…" her voice drifted.

That was all it took for a debate of perfect vacations to begin. Unlike the last conversation, I joined in, adding my favorite places to visit. Half way through Garrett's pros and cons list about Hawaii I caught Edward's eye. He hadn't made any comments yet, and that was unlike him. He loved to travel.

I furrowed my brow, a silent question that asked if he was alright.

He nodded and leaned in. "I have something to show you. Come with me?"

As if I could ever say no to Edward. Not to mention I desperately wanted some time alone with him. I wanted to tell him how I felt, that I didn't want to leave him yet, but I had no clue how to do it. I stood up before he did, signaling that I was more than willing to follow him anywhere. Thankfully no one at the table noticed us leaving-or if they did, they didn't say anything. I had no clue where we were going so I let Edward lead. He stopped in front of a table covered with various desserts.

"_This_ is what you wanted to show me?" I smirked.

"No," he laughed, "but you can't pass up a good cookie. At least _I _can't."

"I don't know. It's all depends on the cookie."

"Maybe that's true." He shrugged. "I can definitely pass up those fig filled ones. Those are gross."

The look of disgust on his face made me laugh but I had to agree with him. They weren't my favorite. "They certainly don't compare to peanut butter chocolate chunk, that's for sure."

"Definitely not." He agreed and started walking back toward the school. "Although very few cookies can compare to those. I'd love one right about now." He took a big bite of his cookie, practically devouring it all in one bite, sending crumbs tumbling to the ground.

"I bet if you asked your mom she'd send you some." His mouth was still full but he made a kind of groaning sound. "Or I could make you some when I get home, and mail them." I felt a flutter of embarrassment but Edward cut me off before I could rescind my offer.

"That would be awesome. I mean, only if you wanted to." He rushed. "You don't have to-to make me anything."

"Alright well, I won't promise anything. But maybe you'll get lucky." I gave him a wink and not until his eyes widened did I realize how it sounded. I didn't correct him though, because honestly, I wanted him to get lucky.

His eyes bore into mine and I swear I felt my knees buckle. He took a small step closer and I thought for a moment he was going to kiss me. Instead he reached up and pushed my hair back over my shoulder. His fingers trailed along the length of my neck, from my collar bone to my ear. Such a simple touch and yet it felt _so _good. It made my entire body warm.

Edward opened his mouth but then paused. I waited through the silence for his question but it never came. Instead he turned away. "The door's right around here." He dropped his hand from my neck and for the first time all day he grabbed my hand in his as he led us around a corner. There was a narrow space between the two buildings and a door along one of the brick walls. "It's a more…private entrance. This way we won't have anyone following us."

The hallway we walked into was just like the rest of the school, minus the props for filming. They must not have been using this side of the building. Commercial grade floors squeaked beneath our feet and the cinderblock walls were covered with posters promoting dances and student council meetings.

"So what are you showing me?" I was curious.

"You'll see. It's right down here." We turned down a hallway, passing rows of lockers on each side. "I found it the other day."

Then he stopped and pulled open a door. I followed after him and paused beside him in the doorway.

"I feel fifteen all over again." I said with a laugh. The room we walked into was a basic Science room, complete with black lab tables along the back and desks spaced in rows. It wasn't an exact replica but the similarities were pretty close. It reminded me of our ninth grade science classroom.

"Weird isn't it?"

I nodded and let go of his hand so I could wander around the room. Even with my back to him I could feel his eyes on me, watching my every move.

"Remember that red haired girl who accidently set her book on fire when we were doing that lab?" I ran my fingers over the black surface of the lab table. "What was her name again?" When he didn't respond I turned around to face him. His eyes were focused elsewhere. "Edward?"

He blinked, coming out of his daze. "Yeah?"

"The girl from high school whose book caught fire. Do you remember her?"

"Uh yeah, I think so."

"Mr. Banner was so pissed I thought that vein in his forehead was going to explode." I laughed at the memory but it seemed Edward was still caught up on something else. He wasn't even looking at me.

Then, as if he suddenly realized I was laughing his gaze snapped to mine. "That was pretty funny." He laughed, but it was half-hearted. His eyes dropped to the floor and he shifted from one foot to the other. Something wasn't right. Or maybe I was just imagining things.

"Is everything okay?" I hedged.

He nodded and ran his hand through his hair and across the back of his neck. "Yeah, I'm fine."

An awkward silence hung in the air between us. Looking for a way to ease the tension I forced myself to keep talking.

"I actually remember being glad when it happened." I rambled. "I thought for sure I'd be the first one to blow something up or set something on fire. I still can't believe I made it through-"

"Bella," Edward said, cutting me off. He waited until I was looking at him. "Stay."

I held my breath. It was only one word and yet I knew exactly what he was talking about. At least I was pretty sure I did.

"What?" I asked, not wanting to make a fool of myself.

He took a step toward me. "Stay." He repeated. "I know you're busy and sitting around here will probably be boring as hell but I don't want you to go." Taking another step closer he reached out and hooked his fingers in the belt loop of my jeans, pulling me toward him. "Stay."

I looked up at him. My answer was simple. "Okay."

"Okay?" The corner of his mouth curved up.

I nodded. "Yeah, I don't want to go either." I admitted.

His smile lit up his eyes and he pulled me even closer until I was flush against him. I laid my head on his chest and enjoyed the feel of his hands rubbing up and down my back. "Have dinner with me tonight. We can just hang out and order room service or something."

I looked up at him and smirked. "Room service? That's a little presumptuous don't you think?"

For a split second he looked shocked and then he smirked right back. "We_ could_ go out somewhere but I assumed you'd want some privacy when telling me about your…daydream."

My face got warm. "Wha-what?"

"Oh you know. Your daydream," he leaned in placing his lips next to my ear, "about _shoes_."

I took a deep breath and let my eyes close. He was so close and smelled so good. His fingers moved up my back to the base of my neck.

"Tell me Bella. How often do you daydream about it?"

_Oh God. There _was no doubt in my mind that we weren't talking about shoes."Umm…sometimes." I murmured.

"Only sometimes? Because I do all the time. And when I do, I think about you. Do you ever do that Bella? Do you ever think about me?" His lips touched my neck and the smooth texture of his tongue sent chills down my spine.

I nodded.

"Is that a yes?" he asked, while kissing his way down to the base of my throat.

"Mmhm," I would have nodded again but I didn't want to risk making his lips stop what they were doing.

"What about when you're in bed, alone. Do you think of me then?" One of his hands moved to my waist, and squeezed gently before moving up toward my chest.

"Yes," I breathed. "Do you?"

"Yeah."

His confession made my heart flutter and my body hot. It also made me curious. "When-when was the last time?"

The tips of his fingers brushed under my breast, almost like he was tracing me. I bit back a moan and silently cursed the fabric of my bra and shirt that was blocking his bare skin from mine.

"This morning in the shower." He admitted. "I could still hear your voice from last night in my head-the way you sounded. It was so hot."

Maybe my face should have been red in embarrassment, knowing that I'd apparently been louder than I thought. But I wasn't embarrassed at all. In fact I was quite the opposite. That delicious flicker of warmth spread through me. I almost whimpered.

Then his lips finally touched mine and I did whimper. They were soft yet hard and wanting at the same time. His tongue moved slowly with mine but I could feel the eagerness behind it. Every move was a complete contradiction. Soft and hard, tender but aggressive.

His hand was still making agonizingly slow passes under my breast. Tracing a pattern back and forth, up and down. It felt amazing but it wasn't enough. I arched my back, silently asking him for more and then he gave it. His palm covered me and he squeezed, not too hard, but just enough that I moaned.

Dropping my arms from his back I gripped his hips and pulled him closer, wanting to feel him, and maybe give him some sort of relief. I could feel him hard against my stomach and when I arched my back again he made a groaning sound. I wanted to hear him do it again and again. I wanted to feel him against me and I didn't want all these clothes in the way.

"Bella," he whispered against my lips.

Pulling back I looked up at him. There was a question on his face and before I could ask what it was his fingers slipped under the fabric of my shirt. He moved up a little and then paused—waiting for me.

Biting my lip I nodded. His eyes dropped from mine and watched his hand as it traveled further, across my stomach and up to my bra-my shirt gathering at his forearm. I watched his face, the way his mouth hung open, his lips red from kissing and nipping mine.

"Edward! Yo, you guys around here?" Emmett's loud voice pierced the silence around us.

"Damn it." Edward dropped his head to my shoulder and let his hand fall from under my shirt.

Attempting to smooth the fabric I took a step back and tried to make it look like we hadn't just been making out. I shouldn't have tried because as soon as Emmett got one look at us he started laughing.

"Sorry guys. But you'll have to reenact the high school fantasies another time. Kate's looking for you bro."

Edward ran his hands through is hair and nodded. "Alright, just-give us a minute. Tell her I'm coming."

Emmett snorted at his brother's choice of words but Edward's narrowed eyes said he wasn't in the mood for joking. Instead Emmett looked over at me and smiled. "He ask you to stay yet?"

"What?"

He completely ignored Edward, who was now looking between the two of us, and kept talking to me. "He was yanking the shit out of his hair earlier. Knew something had to be bothering him. It didn't take long to put two and two together."

"Em," Edward warned.

"I know, I know, I'm going." Emmett gave me one last dimpled smile and turned out of the room. "See ya tomorrow, Bella!" he yelled.

"See ya." I shouted back, hoping that he heard me. When I turned back to Edward, I caught him attempting to casually adjust his pants. I could have looked away but I didn't. Call me crazy but I liked knowing I did _that_ to him. "So-dinner? Tonight?"

He walked toward me and put his hands on my hips, bringing me close to him again. "Yeah," his voice was quiet and he leaned in to kiss me. Then he pulled back. "No."

"No?"

"No. I mean, yes." He corrected. "Dinner together, but we don't have to wait for night. I'm done here soon anyway. Let's hang out when I'm finished. Then we can eat later."

I smiled at his admission. He wanted more time with me and I could never deny him that. "Okay."

"Meet me at four?"

I immediately started making a list of the things I'd have to do, including getting a room and calling Charlotte. "That's perfect. It'll give me time to sort stuff out since I'm staying."

He smiled. "I like the way that sounds."

I smiled back. "Me too."

…

I left Edward with the promise to see him soon and pulled out my phone as soon as I was in the car. Charlotte was as understanding as I thought she would be and even hinted to the perks of sticking around a set with a particularly hot movie star. I hadn't told her about my past or current situation with Edward yet. It wasn't that I didn't trust her- it was more that I wanted to keep it to myself. We made plans to talk later in the week and by the time I hung up, I'd arrived at the hotel.

Luckily, there was a room available and it happened to be on the same side of the hotel as Edward's. I found myself smiling at the convenience of it all. Part of me wondered how much time I'd actually be spending in my room. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but there was no denying the reality of the situation either. What I felt for Edward was intense. Not just on an emotional level, but also on a physical one. It was different with him. Everything was different.

The thought of spending more time with him alone made my stomach twist in the best possible way. I didn't know how long I was going to stay but right now I was willing to take it one day at a time. Starting with tonight.

…

"Okay, okay, I told you mine, now tell me yours." He picked up his drink and took another gulp.

We were sitting on the couch in his room; an open empty box of pizza and cans of root beer covered the coffee table. When I'd knocked on his door earlier he didn't answer immediately. I'd worried that maybe he wasn't back yet so it was a pleasant surprise when he opened the door in only a pair of jeans. When I finally peeled my eyes away from his bare chest I realized his hair was wet. He was fresh out of the shower. I might have drooled a little. He apologized for not answering right away and I think I managed to say it wasn't a problem. As it turned out, a half naked Edward made all cognitive thinking impossible. Thankfully, he put on a tee-shirt and since then I've been able to focus on the conversation.

"I don't know. Mine isn't half as cute as yours." I smiled at Edward's previous admission to having a crush on his third grade teacher Miss. Hammond.

"Cute or not I told you mine." The challenge in his eyes told me there was no backing down from this one.

I sighed and sat back with a huff. "Alright, but I feel the need to preface this by saying that nothing happened. Not even a little something."

Edward's eyes went wide and a wicked smile stretched across his face.

My cheeks burned and I knew no matter how I worded it, he'd tease me. "Mr. Johnston, junior year." I clapped my hands over my eyes and waited for it.

His voice was confused. "I don't remember a Mr. Johnston at Forks High. What subject did he… Wait, wait, are you talking about high school or…"

I peered out at him from between my fingers and nodded. He was on the right track.

He tossed his head back and laughed. "Bella Swan you had a thing for your college professor? I never knew you had it in you."

"I don't! Didn't-don't! It was just a stupid crush that lasted for like a week."

He was silent for a second, thinking it over. "What did it? Was it his bowtie or the blue cardigan with leather patches on the elbows?"

"Ugh," I threw my head back. "I _knew _I shouldn't have said anything!"

He laughed again and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me to his side. "I'm just teasing. I couldn't help falling for Miss. Hammond anymore than you could prevent falling for Mr. Rodgers."

I turned to glare at him. "Ha, ha. He wasn't _that_ old and I'll have you know he was actually quite good looking. He reminded me of Robert Langdon."

"Tom Hanks?"

I laughed. "No way. Robert Langdon in the _books _is described as an attractive scholar with the body build of a swimmer. Pretty far from Tom Hanks if you ask me."

"Since I haven't read any of the books I'll have to take your word on it."

Reaching for my soda I took a long drink and peered at him over the top. He was watching me. It made me nervous and happy at the same time. Heaven knows I'm always looking at him. I put my drink down and snuggled back into his side. "You should read them, I'd bet you'd like them."

"Maybe." He shrugged. "The last book I read really messed with my mind. I don't think I'm ready to start another one just yet."

I could hear the smile in his voice yet I also knew what he said was true. It had only been two days since we both found out the truth of how we felt and we hadn't really brought it up since then. I wasn't sure how much we really needed to discuss though. How much of the unknown facts were actually important to us now? I'm sure there will be things that come out over time, things that I never knew. I was okay with that. However, I did have something I wanted to tell him.

I turned my body toward his and looked him in the eye. "I'm sorry for lying to you when we were in LA. When you asked me, I should have told you. No matter what I feared."

The warmth of his palm pressed against my cheek. "I could have said something too." He admitted. "Hell, I _should_ have said something back in high school. I just thought you only saw me as a friend."

"What made you think that? I mean, I know I wasn't throwing myself at you, but I thought I made it pretty clear that I liked you."

"I don't know. I guess I was a typical high school guy, kind of clueless about things and not into talking about them. I almost told you once but then I heard you talking to Jessica. After that I just-"

"Wait, you heard me talking to Jessica about what?"

He ran his hands over his face and into his hair. After taking a deep breath he told me all about the day Jessica approached him with her offer to find out if I was interested. Then he explained how he'd been in the hallway and overheard our conversation.

"It was Jessica." I said, hoping he'd understand. "I just didn't want her knowing everything."

"Believe me when I say, I can completely understand that."

"Good." I smiled up at him and then leaned in, pressing my lips to his softly. "Thanks for telling me. It's nice knowing what you thought back then. Kind of strange, but nice."

His hands ran up and down my back, holding me to him. "So you're saying you liked the stuff I wrote in your book?"

"Mmhm, a lot. Even the stuff about my gym shorts."

Leaning in he placed his lips right behind my ear. "They were pretty short. I couldn't keep my eyes off your ass." He ran kisses down my neck, sucking and licking and then sucking again.

"I uh-thought you said it was my-legs you liked."

"Oh, I do. You've got fantastic legs. But this," he slid his hands down my back and over the curve of my butt, "drives me crazy." In one quick move he lifted me up, pulling my body over his, straddling my legs on either side of him.

I could feel him right against me and it took all my strength not to push my hips into him. Instead, I ran my hands up his chest and over his shoulders before burying them in his hair. He kissed me then, matching his mouth to mine perfectly. I felt like a teenager as we made out on the couch. Pushing and grinding into each other, trying to get some kind of release. Finally giving in, Edward moved me off his lap, and laid me down. He hovered over me, holding himself up on his forearms. I wanted his weight on me and just as I opened my mouth to tell him a phone rang.

For the second time today Edward groaned in frustration. "I swear he's asking for it." His head fell to my shoulder and he sighed loudly.

"Emmett?" I guessed. He nodded and buried his face further into my hair. "Do you have to get it?" I panted-my body still tingling and alive with want.

"Probably. If I don't answer he'll just call back."

The hormone driven part of my body that wanted to pounce on Edward and rip all his clothes off before demanding he take me to bed wanted to curse Emmett for his interruption. But the other part knew that it could be important. He was, after all, family.

With another loud groan he sat up and reached for his phone. "This better be good Em." He snapped and started pacing the room.

I remained lying on the couch watching Edward and listening to one side of the conversation. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I imagined what Emmett was saying in response when Edward told him we were hanging out.

It was when the conversation turned to business and early morning call times that I realized how late it probably was. We'd been talking and kissing for a while and even though I didn't want to stop, I knew I couldn't keep Edward up all night. That wouldn't be fair. I sat up just as he was ending his call.

"He went out with Rose tonight." He said, sitting down beside me.

"Really?"

He nodded. "They went to a sports bar, ate wings and had beer. He's officially a goner. He says he's sticking around for a few more days than he planned. Just to feel things out."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"Yeah, it does." There was a moment of silence between us and then I felt his hand on my thigh, giving me a gentle squeeze. "Stay."

I looked up at him confused. "I _am_ staying. I told you that earlier."

"No I mean tonight. Stay here; don't go back to your room." My face warmed and I can imagine my eyes went a little wide. "That's not why I'm asking," he rushed. "I don't want to do _that_, I mean I _do_ but not _now_, that's not why I'm asking I-shit I sound like an idiot." He dropped his head into his hands and I almost laughed at his visible distress.

While things could have been awkward or even uncomfortable, they weren't. This was me and Edward and even if his question initially caught me off guard, nothing about sleeping next to him did. I wanted to be close with him and fall asleep beside him and if he wanted that too then, so be it.

Before he could say another word, I squeezed his thigh, just as he'd done to me a minute before. "Okay, but I need to borrow something to sleep in. Alice would freak if she found out I slept in this." It might have been a lame excuse but it was partially true. Alice _would_ freak out, but it would be because I slept with him fully clothed, not because I risked ruining the outfit I was wearing.

He smirked. The relief was evident on his face. "I wouldn't want that. I hear she can be pretty tough if she wants to be."

"Ruthless," I agreed with a nod.

"Good thing I have lots of t-shirts then." He winked, then got up and started rummaging through the dresser. "How about this?"

A streak of blue flew through the air and landed in my lap. I held the shirt up in front of me and laughed. "This is perfect." What I really wanted to do was bury my nose in the soft cotton and see if it smelled like Edward but instead I tucked it under my arm and walked toward him.

"These will probably be big on you." He held up a pair of dark grey pajama pants.

"It's okay. I'll make them work." I reached for the pants but he didn't let me take them. Instead he tugged me closer and kissed me, hard and unrelenting. His tongue slid along my bottom lip and into my mouth, taking control. I might have groaned and I definitely sighed. My body felt limp but he held me to him and kept kissing me-taking exactly what he wanted. And I let him.

Pulling away he gave me one last quick peck and motioned to the bathroom. "You can go first if you want. There should be a toothbrush from the hotel in there too."

I nodded dumbly, my head bobbing like it was barely attached to my neck, and made my way across the room to the bathroom. Once I closed the door I worked on auto pilot. I brushed my teeth, stripped out of my clothes and put on his. It was easier to just pretend it was any other night and I was simply getting ready for bed, wearing Edward's shirt and his pants and sleeping in his bed-next to him-Gah! I closed my eyes tight and forced myself to relax. When I opened them I caught my reflection in the mirror over the sink. Edward was right, the clothes were big, but I didn't care. I traced my fingers over the superman logo that adorned the front of the blue tee-shirt and smiled. It was faded and worn, and I wondered how long he'd had it. It was perfect.

When I walked back into the room Edward was sitting at the foot of the bed, playing on his phone. He changed into his own pair of pajama pants and plain white t-shirt. It shouldn't be possible for him to look any more delicious but he did. He just looked so-relaxed and cozy. I wanted to burrow into him, and then peel the shirt off so I could lick him.

"Bathroom's all yours," I said, alerting him that I was done.

Edward looked up from his phone and then froze. His eyes swept over my body, once, twice, three times and then finally landed on my face. He blinked, and then quickly looked back at his phone like I didn't just notice him checking me out.

"Uh, thanks." He mumbled, tossing his phone aside. He offered me a small smile as he passed me on his way to the bathroom and I heard the door close with a click behind me.

Knowing that my appearance flustered him a little made me giddy. It was nice to know I affected him like he affected me.

With a smile on my face I quickly ran over to the bed and slipped underneath the cold white sheets. I wondered what side of the bed Edward slept on and immediately laughed at the thought. I still couldn't believe I was here, in Edward's bed, debating things like sleeping arrangements. It was all so surreal and yet felt so right. As cheesy as it sounded there was no place else I'd rather be. That thought alone calmed my racing heart.

The sound of running water from the bathroom shut off and a second later the door opened. Edward smiled when he saw me already buried under the covers.

"I didn't know what side you slept on," I said.

"So you settled on the middle."

"I figured it was a safe territory."

"And what if I said I sleep in the middle?"

I propped myself up on my elbows. "No one sleeps in the middle of the bed."

"How do you know?"

"Because," I said, confidently.

"Because? That's your answer?" He laughed, and flipped a switch. The room went pitch black. "You know it's a good thing we didn't have debate class together in high school. I would have slaughtered you."

"Hey! I resent that. I happened to get an A in debate." My body shifted as the bed dipped, and the heat of Edward's body settled beside mine.

"Who did you go up against?"

"Mike."

"Newton?" He laughed again. "Mike would have let you run over his cat if you asked him nicely."

I opened my mouth to defend myself but I couldn't. He was right. Mike did let me off pretty easy and I knew it. But instead of me taking advantage, I'd worked extra hard just to prove a point and earn the highest grade. "I would have won either way." I finally defended.

Edward's arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me close to his side. "I know." He kissed the top of my head and rested his chin there. "You were one of the best students in school."

"This coming from Mr. Smarty-pants." I nudged him playfully.

I could feel the rumble in his chest as he laughed at me. "I always liked school," he said. "It just kind of-"

"Came easily for you." I finished for him.

"Yeah, I guess." He agreed. "Except for photography. I sucked at photography."

"You weren't _that_ bad."

"I sucked compared to you. And you never did any work!"

"I did too! I just never did it in class. I-I couldn't." I admitted quietly.

"What? Why not?"

I sighed. Just thinking about my reason sounded stupid but it was the truth and since he knew practically everything else already… "Being in the dark room with you was almost paralyzing. I couldn't focus on anything except for you."

Edward shifted and pulled me up so we were face to face. My eyes had adjusted to the dark and a soft glow from outside filtered through the window curtains. It was just enough that I could see his face.

"Tell me," he said softly.

I swallowed down my embarrassment and kept my eyes locked with his. "I thought about what it would be like to kiss you." As I spoke, his hands brushed up and down my arms, stopping at my wrists, where he traced small circles before going back up again. It was driving me crazy. "I imagined what it would be like for us to sneak into the dark room between classes just so I could touch you. So you could-touch me."

His fingers suddenly stopped and his eyes closed. When he opened them again he just looked back at me, staring. It felt like a full minute passed before he finally kissed me. I opened my mouth to him, loving that I knew his kisses, knew how he'd move and how he'd taste. Our breathing was heavy and warm and I couldn't get enough of him.

"Can I touch you?" he asked against my lips.

I nodded, not wanting to pull away from his mouth but he did anyway. The look in his eyes as he trailed his finger over the top of my breast said it all. He wanted to watch, wanted to see his own hands on me. Just thinking about it turned me on even more. Without a second thought I pushed my pants down off my hips, wiggling until they were down to my knees, then kicked them off somewhere under the covers.

He ran his hand up the outside of my thigh and then over my hip, pausing when he reached my underwear. "This is definitely one of my fantasies." His voice was low and it made me shiver.

"What is?"

"You wearing this shirt, with nothing else but these." He traced the waist band of my underwear, slipping the tips of his fingers just underneath.

I closed my eyes. It felt so so good. "You can cross it off the list then," I whispered.

He hummed in response and pushed the bottom of my shirt up. Soft cotton was replaced by smooth skin and rough finger tips that sent chills up my spine. His wide hand stretched the expanse of my stomach until he was just barely brushing the underside of my breast.

The shirt pulled on my back as he moved it higher so I was completely exposed. Normally I might be a little self conscience but the look on Edwards face pushed all of those thoughts aside. His eyes were focused and so intense while he touched my nipples and squeezed me in his hands. He watched my body respond to him, the desire for me evident on his face. Then he leaned in and sucked my nipple into his mouth. For a second I thought that maybe I'd come just from this. It was better than I thought possible.

My entire body was warm and the ache to have him _really _touch me was getting intense. I pressed my thighs together and tried to control the way that my hips were moving. I couldn't help it, I wanted more.

As if reading my mind Edward suddenly dropped his hand to my waist. Once again he slowly traced the line of my underwear-following it along the inside of my thigh. I turned my hips and opened my legs a little more, giving him room. I wanted him to touch me so badly, I almost begged. I might have even whimpered.

Then he pulled the crotch of my underwear aside and finally touched me. My eyes shot open and I looked at him. Instead of looking at where he was touching me like I thought, his eyes were on me, watching my reaction. His eyes flickered to my mouth and to my eyes then back again.

As much as I wanted to close my eyes and just enjoy the feel of his touch I couldn't. Looking at him made everything more intense. I reached out for him, gripping the back of his neck and pulled his lips to mine. And when I slid my tongue into his mouth he slipped a finger inside of me, and then another.

My jaw dropped and I moaned against his mouth, no longer able to kiss him. His lips ran down my neck, nipping and sucking as his fingers moved slowly in and out. I felt myself melting into him, soft and pliable under his hands. His touch made my body warm and tingly and I wanted more.

Dropping my hands I fumbled with the string of his pajama pants. I pushed them down enough that I could reach inside and touch him. He was hard and warm against my palm and I moved my hand up, squeezing him gently. His hips moved slightly with each of my strokes, going back when I pulled and forward when I pushed.

Our legs and arms tangled together between us as we continued to kiss and touch. I was so close and when he finally brushed over me and touched me just right I came hard, kissing him deep. My body tingled and pulsed against him. I wanted to dissolve into the mattress but I kept moving my hand, stroking him, wanting him to have what I did. His hip movements faltered and I knew he was close.

"Oh God," he groaned, closing his eyes tight. I watched his face and felt warmth cover my hand as he came.

A moment passed but I didn't move. I couldn't. My entire body felt like jelly. The two of us lay still, breathing deep and looking at each other. When he cracked a smile my heart fluttered in my chest, filling with warmth. He reached over his head and pulled his shirt off, using it to clean up. I watched him, my smile still on my face, feeling happy and the most content I'd felt in a while.

"Can I make a request?" he asked, after tossing his shirt somewhere into the dark and pulling the covers up over us.

"Sure."

"Borrow my tee shirts more often."

I laughed. "I can do that."

He wrapped his arm around me and tucked me into his side. "And remind me to get one of my old jerseys from back home."

"Another fantasy?" I guessed.

"Yeah, but the superman shirt was at the top."

I hummed in response, suddenly too tired to talk.

The silent darkness of the room settled around us and I tried to focus on the sound of Edward deep breathing and heart beating. It was soothing and I could feel myself drifting off.

"Bella?" Edward whispered, "I'm really glad you stayed."

I smiled into his chest, and nuzzled in deeper. "Me too."

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews and support! You guys are awesome.**

-liz


	20. Chapter 20

**Thanks to Shwriteme for her Beta skills. And to anniej13 & mommyofboth for pre-reading**

* * *

**Chapter 20**

**BPOV**

The bed dipping down behind me followed by the sensation of Edward's warm body pressed against mine woke me from my sleep. I didn't open my eyes. Instead I enjoyed the first few silent moments of the early morning—those first few minutes when everything is warm and comfortable—when the room is light and golden from the morning sun—those moments where things almost seem surreal until your brain can process that you aren't actually dreaming and everything is, in fact, real.

It had been four days since Edward asked me to stay with him and each day had been better than the last. His schedule was so busy with filming that we didn't have a lot of free time, but we made the most of what we did have. I visited him on set whenever I could, just to be near him. We ate together and talked and laughed and kissed. No matter what time he finished on set, he crawled into bed next to me and pulled me close. I felt closer to him than ever and I didn't even want to think about what would happen once he was done filming. So I didn't.

We were enclosed in our own little bubble and it was perfect. Every morning I woke up next to him and it was exactly as I imagined it would be. Though sleeping beside him had taken a little more of an adjustment. As it turned out Edward didn't have a side of the bed—probably because he liked to roll over the _entire_ bed while he slept. He also didn't like to sleep under the blankets. Instead he kind of tucked one leg under and leaves the other one out, making it almost impossible for me to pull the covers completely up. After waking up freezing three nights in a row, I decided last night that I'd use a separate blanket. It worked.

Smiling at my small victory, I nuzzled deeper under the warm covers, purposefully shifting so I could get closer to Edward. His arm draped over my waist and tugged me closer.

"Morning." His voice was deep and scratchy from sleep. I loved it. Not necessarily the way it sounded, though it was nice, but I loved that I got to hear it-that I knew what his voice sounded like first thing in the morning.

Over the past few days I'd been soaking up all the little things that were Edward. Things that other people wouldn't ever know about him unless they spent real time with him and knew him the way I did. I already knew most of the big stuff about him—all of his favorites, his likes his dislikes, and all the stories of his childhood. It was the small details and habits I kept noticing that made a difference.

As ridiculous as it seemed, I craved those little things. Like knowing that he squeezed the toothpaste from the middle of the tube and that he was meticulous about flossing his teeth. That he prefered the bathroom to be full of steam and warm before he actually got in the shower. Or that he absolutely hated shaving and that he happened to only own grey or black underwear. They were all small details that didn't mean much but were important to me. Since certain aspects of Edward's life were so public it was nice knowing that I knew parts of him that no one else did.

Of course there was still a certain part of him that I didn't know yet and it was driving me crazy. Especially when he insisted on waking me up every morning with_it_ pressed into my back. Since my first night staying over in Edward's room we continued to make out like crazy teenagers. It had been amazing. His kisses made my entire body hot and his touch—well, I definitely developed a whole new appreciation for his hands and the things he could do with them. The only problem was I wanted _more_. I knew there was a natural physical progression that took place in relationships, but with Edward it felt different._Everything_with Edward felt different. I felt like I'd been waiting for him my whole life and now that I had him I wanted to have _all_ of him. But every time things started to get too heavy, he hesitated. At first I wondered if maybe it was me. Maybe he didn't want me that way. But I quickly pushed that doubt aside. The look on his face whenever we were together, the way he kissed me, touched me. Even the things he told me. It was _very_clear that he wanted me. I just didn't understand what was holding him back.

When I spoke with Alice yesterday there was no way I could hide my frustrations. She seemed suspicious that something was on my mind and once I told her about my sleeping arrangements with Edward everything else just sort of spilled out.

"Well," I had hesitated. "We haven't really _done_it yet."

"Wait a minute. You mean to tell me you've been sleeping in the same bed with him and you guys have only been _touching_each other?" Her voice had been so high pitch I had to hold the phone away from my ear.

"You make it sound so—innocent. Believe me Alice, it's anything but innocent."

"Oh I believe you. I've seen pictures of his hands. I bet his fingers-"

"Alice."

"Okay, okay," she said quickly. We were both silent for a beat and then she hummed softly. I knew that sound. It was the sound Alice made whenever she was deep in thought and ready to give advice. "Honestly, he's probably just worried about rushing you. This means you're going to have to talk to him. Or you could _show_him. Make it clear to him that you want more-that you're ready."

"Okay." I nodded but felt the nerves set in. How was I supposed to bring it up in conversation? Before I could even voice my concerns to Alice she started speaking again.

"Sure fire way is to give him a B.J. No guy in his right mind can confuse that."

I almost laughed, but didn't because well—she might be right. "You really think that will work?" I asked, doubtfully.

"Trust me, nothing says 'I'm ready to have sex with you' like puttin' it in your mouth."

This time I did laugh. Alice definitely had a way of saying things and she wasn't always subtle. "Alright, well. I'll think about it."

"Uh, huh." She had giggled in a way that said she _knew_I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it.

And she had been right. After I hung up with Alice I had attempted to get some writing done but it was useless. My mind was too preoccupied thinking about her suggestion and what it could lead to if it actually worked.

And now as I lay in bed with Edward pressed flush against me it was _still_all I could think about. What it would be like to do _that_ to him. And then, if it worked, to finally feel his entire body completely naked against mine. How the weight of him would feel on top of me as he slipped inside.

My body instantly flashed warm at the thoughts running through my mind. Sighing in frustration I kicked off the covers and rolled onto my stomach, attempting to clear my head and cool off.

"I told you that being completely buried under the covers is too hot."

I turned my head and was greeted with Edward's lazy smirk. "It's better than freezing."

"You're bloods too thin. It's all that Arizona heat. You're getting soft."

I raised my brows. "This coming from the man who lives in sunny California."

"It's not as hot as Arizona."

"Yeah, but it's warmer than Forks."

"That's true. But then again, a lot of places are warmer than Forks."

I agreed and moved closer to him, tucking my head against his shoulder. His arm wrapped around me as he traced lazy patterns on my back.

"When do you think you'll get home again to visit?" I asked. "I know your mom missed you at Christmas."

"_Only_ my mom?"

"I don't know. I'm sure your dad and Emmett missed you too." I held back my smirk. Ever since we finally admitted to having feelings for each other Edward loved teasing me and hearing about the things I used think or feel. Admissions from our high school days were his favorite and I had to admit. I loved hearing it too. Especially when he'd whisper them my ear and tell me how badly he wanted me or what he imagined doing to me.

"So that's it, no one else missed me?"

He shifted under me so I lifted my head to meet his eyes. "Alright, maybe I missed you a little," I confessed, "or—a lot."

He smiled at me and I felt the familiar fluttering in my stomach that I always got around him. Even in the morning he was gorgeous.

"I wish I'd been there for Christmas," he said, "especially since I have no idea when I'll get back." He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "My schedule is all over the place. Right after we wrap up here I've got to start the promotional tour from my last film."

I ignored the unease I felt whenever he mentioned anything occurring _after_our time together here and focused instead on the conversation. "Well, you're a busy person. Your family knows that."

"I know."

"Besides," I continued. "I'm pretty sure your mom wouldn't let you miss another Christmas with the family. Even if she has to fly everyone half way around the world to wherever you're filming, she'll make sure you're there.

He laughed, his body shaking the bed beneath us.

I rolled from my stomach to my side so I could face him. His eyes met mine and then dropped down to my body. A soft humming sound rumbled in his chest. "I really like this."

"What?"

In answer he reached out and tugged on the tee shirt I was wearing. "You all twisted up in my shirt." His fingers ran down and across my exposed strip of stomach.

His shirt, which I'd been sleeping in at night, was exactly like he'd said. It was twisted around me—the neck stretched out and pulled low from all the tossing and turning I'd done through the night.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked, not taking his hands off me.

I nodded and released a shaky breath. Looking down, I watched him trace along my ribs and down to my hip bone. He tickled the skin along the line of my underwear, gently slipping the tips of his fingers under the band, teasing me.

Before Edward I didn't know it was possible to feel so relaxed and yet wired at the same time. My body melted whenever he touched me but my heart raced and I was acutely aware of everything he did to me. My skin felt alive. It was deliciously intoxicating.

The slow pass of his fingers over my waist, my hip and thigh was torturous and slow, _too_slow. I wanted more. Lifting my knee I hooked it over his hip and pushed him back-rolling on top of him. My hair was wild and all over the place.

Before I could move my hands Edward reached up and pushed it back, attempting to tuck some behind my ears. "There you are," he said.

I looked down at him and smiled. He smirked back, his bright green eyes still a little sleepy. His copper hair stood out against the white of the pillow case. It was messy and perfect. I leaned forward so I could run my fingers through his hair.

In an instant, his hands flew out and gripped my hips, holding me still. I froze. "Bella," he half-moaned half-sighed.

I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong but then—I felt _him_. His was hard and pressed right against me—right _there._ Biting back a moan I stayed still, prolonging the moment until I couldn't take it any longer and had to move. Keeping my eyes locked with his I placed both my hands on his chest then very slowly I pushed down, grinding into him.

"Does that feel good?" I asked, even though I knew it did. His answering groan and the look on his face told me as much.

Without taking his hands from my hips he pulled me forward again, and lifted his hips slightly-rubbing me along the length of him.

"Yeah, right there," he said under his breath, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth.

Moving against him, I focused on his chest and matched my movements with his breathing-in and up, out and down. There was only the thin material of our underwear between us and I wanted more than anything to just push it aside so I could feel him bare. Instead I pushed the fabric of his shirt up and ran my fingers over his stomach and chest, feeling the dips and tight muscles beneath his smooth skin. His hands mirrored my own, slowly working their way higher up my shirt until he finally reached my breasts.

I shivered. It felt _so_ good when he touched me like that. Wanting more, I sat back and yanked my shirt over my head, tossing it to the side. I heard Edward's reaction before I saw it.

He took a sharp breath. "I know I said I liked you in my shirt. But this," he reached up and ran his finger down the slope of my breast, just barely brushing my nipple, "this—is even better. Damn you're beautiful."

I moved my hair out of my face and looked down at him. It wasn't the first time he'd told me that he thought I was beautiful but after waiting so long to hear it, I almost couldn't believe it. Yet, by the way he looked at me; I knew he was telling me the truth.

Edward's eyes were heavy, but not with sleep, as they took me in, naked and straddled over him. He'd seen me without my shirt before but never this bare and open in the light of day. My cheeks flushed.

He reached up, cupping my face in his palms. "You're warm too."

"So are you." I ran my fingers up over his shoulders while leaning in to kiss him. Our bare chests pressed together, my nipples sensitive to the soft brush of him against me. It felt wonderful. To feel his skin, warm and flush against mine.

He kissed my lips sweetly, nibbling and taking his time while his hands ran over my body-trailing along my back, tracing up to the sides of my breasts and then palming me completely. I sat back, enjoying the feel of his fingers and eventually his hot tongue and then mouth. Everything was so sensitive and he knew just how to work me up—how to pinch and squeeze and suck until I was almost coming undone.

Each roll of my hips and every touch of his hands pushed me closer to the edge. Looking down at Edward, I felt caught in his gaze. The intense way he looked up at me made my insides warm and the feelings that bloomed in my chest were like nothing I've ever felt before. It was almost overwhelming. The desire to tell him what he stirred within me was so strong that it stole my words.

At that moment Alice's advice flitted through my mind and I knew what I had to do. What I _wanted_to do. Quickly shifting, I moved down his body and rolled to my side. Running my fingers along the band of his boxers I took a calming breath and started to pull them down. I had them over his hips when the shrill ring of the phone sliced through the air and shocked me to stillness.

Edward groaned. "Stupid wake up call."

I couldn't suppress my laugh. Reaching over to the nightstand I lifted the phone to my ear, fully expecting to hear the professional tone from an employee at the front desk. I didn't.

"Edward honey is that you?" Her sweet motherly tone was distinctly recognizable.

I froze, and then panicked. There was no way I could carry on a conversation with Esme while laying half naked I bed with her son.

"Who is it?" Edward asked, propping himself up on his shoulders while taking in my shocked expression.

I quickly covered the receiver and passed him the phone. "It's your mother," I whispered.

His eyes widened slightly and then a wide grin stretched across his face. He reached for the phone. "Hi, Mom," he said, still smiling.

I shook my head, silently telling him not to mention me. It's not that I didn't want Esme knowing we were together but this wasn't the way I wanted her to find out. Surely she'd lose some respect for me if she found out I was sleeping with her son every night since I'd arrived. Even if we were only technically sleeping together.

Pulling the sheets up around me I flopped back on the pillows and half listened to their one sided conversation. The other part of me couldn't stop thinking about the opportunity I missed out on to finally take the next step with Edward. There had been no hesitation on his part, no stilled moments. It was the perfect time and I missed out on it. Stupid phone.

Before I could lament further, Edward nudged me with his foot, drawing my attention to him. His brows pulled together in question while he studied my face. I quickly smiled back to let him know everything was fine. There was no way I was explaining the thoughts running through my mind.

He moved closer and pulled me to him, until I was tucked into his side. The sound of his voice vibrated through his chest and it was surprisingly soothing. I closed my eyes and absorbed everything. The feel of his hands as they brushed over the expanse of my back and the warmth of his body flush against mine, the rough texture from the hair on his legs against my bare feet.

After a few minutes it was clear that Edward was trying to end the call. The frustration was evident in his voice but so was the love. I always thought that Edward was a mama's boy but now I _knew_it. Of course, with a mom like Esme it was easy to see how that would happen. It seemed she was just as doting now as she was when he was in high school. He kept promising that "no he didn't need anything" and "yes, he'd make sure that he told Emmett to call home."

I giggled quietly to myself but Edward's tight squeeze told me he heard me.

"You know what, Mom, there _is_something I need." He paused. "My old football jersey."

I looked up at him quickly and was met with a mischievous smirk. Instantly my cheeks went red and the warmth spread through my body.

"Yeah the one from senior year, it should still be in the box in my closet." He looked down at me and winked before thanking his mom.

After making another promise he'd call her later in the week, he said good bye and moved to hang up, but then paused with the receiver still held to his ear.

His eyes caught mine and didn't look away. He cleared his throat. "Okay yeah, I'll tell her. I know." He mumbled another goodbye then reached over me to hang up the phone.

"My mom says hi," he said, rolling back into position.

"What?" I sat up, pulling the blankets with me and stared at him with wide eyes. "What did she say?"

He shrugged. "Just that she knew you were here and to tell you she said hi."

"Oh my gosh." I flopped back onto the bed and hid my face in the pillows.

"Come on, it's not that bad."

I groaned and buried myself deeper under the plush cotton comforter.

"Besides she knows how I feel about you." His voice was soft but honest.

"Really?" I asked. His words made me warm all over. He wasn't making any serious declarations but knowing that he'd talked to his mom about me felt like a big deal. Enough of a big deal that I felt the need to say something back. "Well, she knows how I feel about you too."

His answering smile was wide and lit up his entire face. "Oh yeah?

I nodded, loving the way he was looking at me.

"What did you tell her?" He smirked, all playful and sexy. He lay down beside me and propped himself up on his elbow.

I scoffed. "Nice try. I'm not spilling all my secrets."

He looked at me with narrowed eyes for a minute before reaching out and pulling the blankets down, exposing the lower half of my body. Cool air swept over my skin causing me to jerk in surprise. Before I could protest, the warmth of his hands ran up the back of my leg, heating me with just a touch. The tips of his fingers swirled their way higher, tickling the inside of my thigh. "Please," he asked softly.

I swallowed and tried to control the shivers that rolled through me.

"Nope. Not gonna happen," I said, trying to sound firm.

"Please," he whispered again—closer now that I could feel the heat of his body. He ran his nose along the line of my neck and up behind my ear. My eyelids fluttered closed and my body went soft, like melted wax.

I rolled onto my side, offering him more skin to touch and kiss which he willingly took. With every kiss he pleaded with me, asking me to tell him my secrets. My mind was foggy and I struggled to keep my thoughts in order. The rational part of my brain told me to stay silent and not tell him a thing in risk of embarrassing myself. The other part of me that didn't want him to stop touching me was willing to do anything so he'd continue.

"I just said that—that my feelings never really went away." My voice was breathy and weak but I couldn't bring myself to care. When his lips found my neck, I fisted my fingers through his hair, pulling and holding him to me as he kissed down to my shoulder and collar bone.

"I wish I'd known," he said against my skin.

It was the first time Edward had voiced his regrets at our lost opportunities. Up to this point I'd been the only one to mention any regrets and he was the one to remind me not to focus on the what ifs.

"Doesn't matter. You know now." I assured him before finally pressing my mouth to his.

He kissed me back-his bottom lip fitting perfectly between my lips, his tongue sliding along mine. Reaching out, he placed his hand on my lower back and, in one quick move, pulled me against him. His body was warm and his skin was soft, but everything else about him was hard.

My heart raced. I wanted him so badly. Without a second thought I dropped my hands to his stomach before slipping them beneath the waistband of his boxers. It wasn't the first time I touched him but my stomach fluttered as though it was. Feeling him hard, and knowing that he wanted me, was such a turn on. It made me want him even more.

I closed my hand around him, squeezing slightly as I stroked his length, up and down then up again. When his hips pushed forward into my hand I pulled away from his lips and looked him in the eyes. He gazed back at me, his mouth open slightly and his breathing heavy. He was beautiful.

Using my one free hand I quickly pushed his boxers down past his thighs. I leaned in, kissing his chest, then worked my way lower-down to his stomach and along the toned muscle at his hip. It took Edward a second to register what I was doing but I felt it the moment he did.

His entire body froze. "Bella," he breathed. "You don't' have to..."

He was hesitating again and I didn't want him too. I shook my head slightly, brushing my lips against his hip bone. "I _want to._Let me…" I looked up at him. "Let me show you."

Without saying a word he reached down and brushed his fingers over my forehead and into my hair. He looked at me for another second before silently giving me permission by rolling onto his back. My heart pounded in my chest but I didn't take my eyes from his as I kissed his hip again and situated myself fully between his legs.

As much as I thought about taking my time and prolonging the moment I didn't. I gave him one tentative lick before closing my lips around him fully. He was thick and hard yet so smooth against my tongue.

Edward groaned above me-his voice rough and sexy as hell. With my hand around the base I sucked and licked, working him in and out of my mouth. I used my tongue and tried to read his reactions, wanting to learn his body and know what he liked. His hands gripped the sheets beneath him, twisting them in his fists. When he started cursing loud enough that I could hear him I knew he was close. I looked up at him. He was watching me and the moment our eyes met his jaw clenched tight and his eyes squeezed shut.

"Bella I'm gonna—" His voice was strained, like something had a hold of his throat.

I sucked him in as deep as I could while his hips thrust forward once, and then he let go.

Edward lay still, breathing heavy and looking completely satisfied. I was so turned on but I ignored the ache between my legs and watched him for a minute, just kind of absorbing the moment. When his eyes finally fluttered opened, they found mine.

"Come here." He reached his hand out to me.

I crawled up to his side while he grabbed a tee-shirt and cleaned himself off. As soon as I was close enough he grasped me by the back of my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. He held me to him and rolled us both so he was settled on top of me.

I thought I'd seen Edward happy but the wide smile on his face was like nothing I'd seen before. _Oh the power of a blow job._

"What are you laughing at?" he asked.

I shook my head not even aware that I had been laughing. "Nothing."

He raised an eyebrow and looked at me skeptically. I knew that look. He wasn't going to let me off that easily. Thankfully his cell phone started ringing and vibrating along the bedside table.

His eyes narrowed. "We're always being interrupted by the damn phone."

I couldn't help but smile at his frustrated expression. "So I've noticed."

Reaching over to the table he picked up his cell but didn't answer it. He simply looked at it, then at me with a thoughtful expression on his face. "What do you say we get away for a day and leave the phones here?"

My stomach fluttered. "What?"

"You heard me." He smirked, hovering over me. "Let me take you somewhere." His phone was still ringing loudly in his hand but his eyes hadn't left mine.

"Are you going to answer that?" I asked.

"Are you going to answer _me_?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"Yes you're going to answer, or yes, that _is_your answer."

I rolled my eyes. As if there would _ever_ be a time I didn't want to be alone with Edward. "Yes. I'll go with you. Now answer your phone."

After giving me a quick wink he answered. "Hi Kate. I told you I could wake up on my own." He smirked down at me and shifted to his side, pulling me close. I could just barely hear Kate's voice on the other end but it sounded like she was going over a schedule or something.

He carried on his conversation while absently running his hand over my back, my side, my hip, my stomach and eventually to my breasts. My breath caught when he circled my nipple once, then twice before pinching gently. Instantly, my eyes snapped to his.

Without saying a word he placed a finger to my mouth, silently telling me to be quiet. I nodded-not sure what he was planning but more than willing to trust him. Any hesitation I might have felt was pushed aside as soon as I felt his fingers tease my nipples again. I bit down on my lip and swallowed back a soft moan—afraid that if I was too loud he'd stop touching me.

He didn't stop. He continued talking on his phone, having a conversation about who knows what, while his fingers explored my body. They moved from one breast to the other, then slowly down to my stomach until finally slipping underneath my underwear. He rubbed me gently, his fingers driving me crazy with slow circles—pressing just enough but never entering me.

I arched my back, bringing myself even closer to him, hoping he'd give me more. Pushing my underwear down, I freed my legs and opened my thighs, not caring about how exposed I was.

Edward swore under his breath and I looked up at him just as he tilted his head to the side so he could get a better view. I wanted to look down and watch but knowing Edward was watching, was enough. Instead I looked his face, the line of his nose, the curve of his jaw right beside his ear and his full lips that parted as he spoke on the phone. Everything was focused on Edward, his touch, and the way his fingers felt when they finally slid inside me.

Heat licked up my spine and spread down my arms and legs. I was close. My hips lifted as I writhed against his hand, wanting more, needing to just—get there. Then his rhythm picked up and I came so hard I couldn't keep quiet.

"Oh _shit,_" Edward groaned. The phone dropped from his shoulder and landed between us on the bed. He scrambled and brought it back to his ear, clearing his throat. "No, no, I'm good." He assured Kate. "Sorry about that."

I giggled quietly and blinked slowly as I looked up at him—smiling lazily.

He smirked and shook his head at me before leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead. My body felt heavy and light at the same time-like I could float away if I weren't so exhausted. I closed my eyes and zoned out, while Edward wrapped up his call. As soon he was finished he tossed his phone aside and he rolled over top of me.

"Are you really gonna let me take you somewhere?" he asked.

"Mmhmm," I mumbled.

"Good," he smiled. "I think I have a free day coming up soon, maybe this weekend. I'll check with Kate later."

"What, you didn't think to ask her a minute ago when you were talking?" I teased.

"My mind was on—something else." He smirked and pushed my hair off my forehead. "That was incredibly hot by the way."

I felt my cheeks warm, but didn't say anything, hoping my returning smile let him know I thought it was hot as well.

"So, what time do you have to be on set?" I asked—after a moment of silence.

"Soon, I should probably get going." He rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans that were draped over the chair before heading into the bathroom.

Sighing, I pulled the blankets up. I knew he had to leave and I knew I'd see him in a few hours but I still hated it. I just wanted to stay in bed with him all day. As soon as the thought passed through my mind I realized that that's exactly what we'd be able to do when we went away together. And hopefully we'd be doing _more_ than just cuddling. I couldn't wait.

Minutes later, Edward emerged from the bathroom with a freshly shaved face and slightly damp hair. "Are you still up for having dinner with Rosalie and Emmett tonight? It'll be late."

I nodded. "Just let me know where and what time. I'll be there."

He smiled and sat down beside me, leaning in for a kiss. I could smell the fresh mint of his breath and the clean scent of his shirt. Desperate to be closer I rose up to meet him. He teased my lips with his tongue until I kissed him back deeply, giving him all I could.

With quick ease he moved his body until he was hovering above me, holding himself up on his arms. I lost focus of everything except for him. The way he felt when he kissed me and the weight of his body as it pressed against mine. Wanting to be even closer I lifted my hips up and moaned when I felt how hard he was.

"Damn it," he groaned and buried his face into the crook of neck.

I knew he had to get to work and I wasn't making things any easier on him. Dropping my legs I gave him a quick kiss before telling him to go. He seemed reluctant but rolled off of me anyway. Sitting up, I watched from the warm comfort of bed as he moved around the room, gathering the stuff he needed.

"I'll call you later," he said, before opening the door.

"Okay," I nodded.

He stepped through the doorway but then paused. "Oh and by the way," he turned around to look at me, "don't think I didn't notice."

"Notice what?"

He smirked at my confusion. "I didn't get a taste."

_A taste? Oh—_Oh. My mouth opened but I couldn't speak.

"Don't worry. I plan on getting one later." He winked and then turned, pulling the door shut behind him.

I sat, staring at the closed door for probably a full minute, replaying his words over in my mind. Just thinking about him actually doing _that_to me made me squirm.I half-groaned, half-sighed as I collapsed back on the bed, saying a prayer that our trip away together would be sooner rather than later.

* * *

**thanks so much for all of your kind words and support. I'm always blown away by it. You guys are awesome!  
sometimes I ramble but...I'm bittenev on twitter if you ever want to ramble with me ;)**

-liz


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